• Advertisement
    

Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby bns629 » Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:14 pm

I actually wanted 4 kids total, I love being a mom. But the fact that I had so many complications, we probably won't have anymore): I'm sad about it,but I have the IUD and in 5 years we will discuss more babies or not
bns629
Amateur
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2014 3:09 pm
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 19 times

Advertisement

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby HelloHolaHallo » Fri Jan 16, 2015 6:27 am

I used to think I wanted a huge family. 3-4 kids. That was when I was younger and didn't understand the value of things.

As soon as I got pregnant with my son I had this vision. The three of us on vacation when he's a baby, elementary school, his high school graduation, his wedding. In these flashes I only saw 1 child. I've had this sense of completion during this pregnancy. Everyone's like oh wait until he's older but I'm 100% sure I'm done. I want a career and a family. 1 child allows me both. 2,3,4 gets complicated between maternity leave and age gaps. Am I crazy for feeling this way?
HelloHolaHallo
 

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby _bethbubbles » Sat Feb 27, 2016 9:37 am

I come from a family of three children, my brother is 11 years older than me and my sister 8 years older than me (ages 30,27,19). So I felt like an only child for a lot of my childhood as I had no one to 'play' with. But I never felt lonely as I used my imagination and had friends form nursery and playgroup as well as cousins. I had so many cool experiences accompanying my siblings to 'their choice of activity' and my vocabulary was advanced at a younger age.

My SO is an only child and his parents were able to fund private school of him and a myriad of activities. Whilst I had more 'grown-up' experiences at a younger age my parents still had to financially take care of two other 'children', so there were some school trips and things I missed but they were made up for in other ways. I would like to be able to give my future (not any time soon!) child the opportunity for the best education and some activities of their choice without being too restricted financially, so it would likely be only one child. However, if we were financially able I'd like two but probably 7-9 years apart, as I like that age gap personally.
_bethbubbles
Amateur
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:05 pm
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 14 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby pllfan5 » Fri May 13, 2016 8:48 am

I grew up as an only child, and to this day I wish I had a sibling but at the same time I was able to be 'spoiled' growing up by being an only child.
I am nowhere near ready to have kids (I'm 21 and in college) but I definitely want more than one kid. I want a minimum of two but a maximum of three, and I think I will only have two unless if my future partner and I both make a decent amount of income. If I only do have two, I will definitely have a large age gap (5-8 years) between them so I can focus on the first for a while and by the time I have the second it won't be as hectic. I don't know how the Youtube moms can have another kid every other year... that would be so stressful for me emotionally and financially
#FreeFinleyandJackson
User avatar
pllfan5
Gossiper
 
Posts: 998
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2015 5:26 pm
Has thanked: 511 times
Been thanked: 5260 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby Lovethesnark » Sun May 29, 2016 12:28 am

I'm one of six. I've always thought that myself that if I decide I want a baby, I would most likely only have one. It wasn't until recently that I thought to myself that I could have more than one. I'm already 30 and I don't see myself trying to get pregnant until later in my 30s. I'd like to have space between kids. I just don't see myself being 40+ and pregnant, but who knows?
Lovethesnark
True Gossiper
 
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:49 am
Has thanked: 663 times
Been thanked: 4855 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby zipadeedodah » Sun May 29, 2016 6:51 pm

I know this thread is old as the hills but we also only have one child (she's 6). It's what works for us right now. People give me a hard time about it occasionally but I just brush it off. I'm happy with one kid. Maybe in a few years we will have another.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
User avatar
zipadeedodah
Extreme Gossiper
 
Posts: 1746
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2015 5:23 pm
Has thanked: 457 times
Been thanked: 3998 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby CanYouJustNot » Sun May 29, 2016 7:01 pm

zipadeedodah wrote:I know this thread is old as the hills but we also only have one child (she's 6). It's what works for us right now. People give me a hard time about it occasionally but I just brush it off. I'm happy with one kid. Maybe in a few years we will have another.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have a 11 month old and I get asked by literally everyone when I'm having another. I could only imagine with a 6 year old. I plan on having 2, at the most 3. Not sure about the distance between, but hoping for maybe 3 years.
Image
CanYouJustNot
Informer
 
Posts: 426
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2014 12:45 pm
Has thanked: 1040 times
Been thanked: 1416 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby zipadeedodah » Mon May 30, 2016 6:45 am

CanYouJustNot wrote:
zipadeedodah wrote:I know this thread is old as the hills but we also only have one child (she's 6). It's what works for us right now. People give me a hard time about it occasionally but I just brush it off. I'm happy with one kid. Maybe in a few years we will have another.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have a 11 month old and I get asked by literally everyone when I'm having another. I could only imagine with a 6 year old. I plan on having 2, at the most 3. Not sure about the distance between, but hoping for maybe 3 years.
last time someone asked me when we were having another I asked her if she was going to pay for the diapers and crap lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
User avatar
zipadeedodah
Extreme Gossiper
 
Posts: 1746
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2015 5:23 pm
Has thanked: 457 times
Been thanked: 3998 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby HelloSweetie » Thu Jun 09, 2016 3:28 pm

zipadeedodah wrote:I know this thread is old as the hills but we also only have one child (she's 6). It's what works for us right now. People give me a hard time about it occasionally but I just brush it off. I'm happy with one kid. Maybe in a few years we will have another.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Our oldest was an only child until he was 7 (infertility/repeat losses) and we enjoyed that one-on-one time with him immensely. People will tell you that a large gap between children is a terrible idea, but for us it's been wonderful!
My sons are ridiculously close, and we were able do a lot with (for) the oldest that we probably wouldn't have if we'd had two young ones close in age (travel, theatre, education savings, private school, etc).

We decided that a sibling would be a great comfort for our son for when we are old and crazy, but had he stayed an only child he would have been just fine. People that think you MUST have at last two kids and do it so they are close in age annoy me
User avatar
HelloSweetie
Guru Gossiper
 
Posts: 9893
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 8:33 am
Has thanked: 9811 times
Been thanked: 44258 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby MommyToASweetie » Sat Jun 11, 2016 7:19 am

I have one three year old. I had her at 19, which was totally unplanned, and definitely won't be having another until she's at least 5 but preferably closer to 10.
Honestly, I'd be fine with not having any other kids. She's mine and her daddy's whole world, and I love being able to devote all my time and resources to her. I love taking her to dance class and dressing her in cute clothes. We love being able to travel with her (like we are right now going to underrated travel destinations across Europe!) and doing cute things with her all year. Also, we live in Manhattan, which makes it really so much better to have just my one daughter. I'm in Law School so l, personally, don't think it would be in everyone's best interest to have another right now!
Image

#FreeBen #FreeGlen
MommyToASweetie
True Gossiper
 
Posts: 1497
Joined: Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:33 pm
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 214 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby SaltandBurn » Sat Oct 22, 2016 3:46 pm

I grew up an only child to poor parents. They divorced when I was one, but I was the center of their lives. When I was 10 and 11 my younger sisters were born. Dispite them having a huge house, plenty of money, stable parents with jobs, and their own rooms, my sisters could not possibly hate each other more. They are constantly in competition and I feel like there is NO possible way to devote enough attention to one or the other.

I know this is obviously false but seeing my childhood compared to theirs (coupled with not having any children of my own) I have felt like no parent can give enough love or time or attention if there are more than one.

If I decide to have kids some day. And especially if I want more than 1, I will have to move past those feelings and truly realize that it is possible woth 2+ kids.
SaltandBurn
Talker
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:49 pm
Has thanked: 664 times
Been thanked: 515 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby Pingupingu2 » Thu Oct 27, 2016 12:31 am

I definitely want to have a big family, maybe 3 or 4 kids. The reason why I think its a perfect number of siblings is because in my own family, we are 4 siblings, and its amazing to have them all. Each of them has helped me in different situations and I feel like if one day I can't talk to one of them because of x reasons, I could turn to another one.
The reason I don't want anymore than 3-4 is because I'm human and thinking realisticaly, I don't think I'd have the time, money and dedication to give them the best oportunities in life if I have too many kids, I want to be able to spend time with each one of them, have the money to give them what they deserve, pay their studies and university, and make sure they grow up properly <3
When nothing is certain, anything is possible
Pingupingu2
Informer
 
Posts: 491
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:15 pm
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 1056 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby japaluvr » Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:19 am

We tried for almost 2 years to get pregnant and was successful with IUI and now we have a 9 month old. I had severe postpartum anxiety when she was born, especially with family being two hours away, we had no help and I felt overwhelmed and lonely. Fortunately I found a mommy group and became social. Living in Northern VA is pricey and I like working but with 2 kids, we couldn't afford daycare and I would have to stay home... with a toddler and a baby? Yikes, my PPA would be through the roof!

I think we're content with having one child but then again, I don't know anyone who is....
Catch a falling star and put in your pocket
☆彡
User avatar
japaluvr
Talker
 
Posts: 190
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:51 am
Has thanked: 220 times
Been thanked: 928 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby Pingupingu2 » Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:26 am

I'm the eldest of 3, muy hubby is an only child and I definitelly can notice it sometimes :lol:
I'm 3 months pregnant with my first and want to hace at least 2 More <3 its always been great to have more than one sibling.
When nothing is certain, anything is possible
Pingupingu2
Informer
 
Posts: 491
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:15 pm
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 1056 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby tieruhhlynn » Wed May 17, 2017 1:41 am

We didn't really decide on having one or having more children... We're kind of stuck right now lol my husband's military, and he's gone a lot and I'm pretty far from family. We both agreed that one child is fine. Personally, with my depression and being so far from family, I don't think I could plan another child and be 100% happy with my decision. We both agreed that if it happens, it happens, but we'll do everything we can to prevent it.

Side note: I don't think having one child makes them more likely to become selfish. I know many people who grew up with no siblings and they are super independent and some of the most giving people I know. My son is actually super good at sharing as well. The only problem we had was since he was an only child, it took him longer to figure out walking was okay. He's also very cautious, but very smart.
tieruhhlynn
Informer
 
Posts: 307
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2014 8:32 am
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 119 times

Re: Having just one child? Your thoughts?

Postby boredmamaneedsdrama » Wed May 17, 2017 6:33 am

Before having kids I wasn't sure how many I wanted. While I was pregnant I decided we were one and done. It was just too difficult on my body and I was not willing to do it again. My husband thought I was hormonal and would change my mind .
After my daughter was born I still only wanted one because she's my whole world and I like devoting my time to her. It just seemed perfect. The three of us.
Then one day, I just woke up and decided I needed another baby. Just like that. It was so strange. We obviously took a long time to think about it since I'd been sure for so long, but in the end it still felt right for us to have a second. I'm now pregnant
User avatar
boredmamaneedsdrama
Talker
 
Posts: 242
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2015 9:57 pm
Has thanked: 583 times
Been thanked: 1030 times

Previous

Return to TTC, Pregnany, and Parenting

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

  • Advertisement