2011Teenagemom Part 18

[stephh+]

I agree with a lot of what you said stephh, but people get very touchy when the subject of autism is brought up. I know it's a spectrum and there is no clear cut 100% diagnostic criteria due to every child being unique. I worked with children on the spectrum at a children's sensory gym, they all were different.

I totally agree, people are sensitive about the subject. I wasn't at all saying that lily for sure has any issues, I think she is a very bright little girl, she is also smart, but that being said, autistic people are often very bright people and excel at one subject. Again, not at all saying lily has any disabilities, but there's always the possibility and if there is a possible sign then Vanessa should talk with her doctor, they could suggest ways to help lily get the needed attention to help her excel when she starts school. I also agree with everyone saying that they should NOT send lily to a private school the kids there will tease her and make her not want to goto school. I think lily would definitely be better at a public school where there are special classes, helpers who are there to help students having any problems with certain subjects, and other children who have similar difficulties with certain subjects.. when I was in elementary school they were great with students who were having a hard time in certain classes and they had tutoring after school and helpers in the classrooms. they should definetly not send her to private school, they are setting her up to be teased and made fun of.

[Snow White]

Yeah its been proven time and time again she's NEVER stopped reading here. If you want to add your 2 cents, post here because she doesn't seem to care about the comments on her yt.
I appreciate it when she takes useful info or suggestions and applies them in her life, not just doing things to spite ytmd but to actually improve on things. I mean, I don't think she asked about the specialist for the sole purpose of getting people here to shut up about lily's development, she may have had some doubts of her own. Nothing wrong with that, she may just need some reassurance that lily is on the right track.

I agree. I am glad she is taking that extra step prior to Lily starting school. Having had that assessment and a doctor behind her, she will be able to confidently & without doubt, get Lily the education she deserves. Let's be honest people are going to always assume things about Lily based on her appearance alone (which is incredibly sad) but like I said with having a developmental diagnosis Vanessa will be able to be very clear with Lily's future teachers on any issues Lily *may* or may not have.

I find it incredibly annoying that people here would rather be "right" than to look at the bigger picture and see this is a good thing for Lily (&Vanessa). Whether or not any diagnosis is given, it's good to have for Lily's future as well as Vanessa's piece of mind. The world and society are going to be a hell of a lot more cruel than this gossip board. Her Instagram already is!

Good Job Vanessa. I sincerely hope it's a positive appointment, as I would NEVER wish hardship on any parent or child.

[Snow White]

I agree with a lot of what you said stephh, but people get very touchy when the subject of autism is brought up. I know it's a spectrum and there is no clear cut 100% diagnostic criteria due to every child being unique. I worked with children on the spectrum at a children's sensory gym, they all were different.

I totally agree, people are sensitive about the subject. I wasn't at all saying that lily for sure has any issues, I think she is a very bright little girl, she is also smart, but that being said, autistic people are often very bright people and excel at one subject. Again, not at all saying lily has any disabilities, but there's always the possibility and if there is a possible sign then Vanessa should talk with her doctor, they could suggest ways to help lily get the needed attention to help her excel when she starts school. I also agree with everyone saying that they should NOT send lily to a private school the kids there will tease her and make her not want to goto school. I think lily would definitely be better at a public school where there are special classes, helpers who are there to help students having any problems with certain subjects, and other children who have similar difficulties with certain subjects.. when I was in elementary school they were great with students who were having a hard time in certain classes and they had tutoring after school and helpers in the classrooms. they should definetly not send her to private school, they are setting her up to be teased and made fun of.

You are like a breath of fresh air! Most member's here have a VERY negative opinion on Autism. I believe it to be plain ignorance.
A simple google search of Turner's and Autism brings up a lot of reading material. Mostly outlining similar behaviors, though I must admit I lack the time and desire to fully educate myself fully on the topic.

[Curtain06]

On the whole autism talk I know that most psychologists & specialists are reluctant to even look into a child having the possibility of autism before age 3 as there can be SO many smoke screens and false positives that can be thrown into the mix before that & for a goodly while afterwards.


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[stephh+]

Thank you snow white! I agree, a lot of people here are pretty negative.

On the whole autism talk I know that most psychologists & specialists are reluctant to even look into a child having the possibility of autism before age 3 as there can be SO many smoke screens and false positives that can be thrown into the mix before that & for a goodly while afterwards.


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Lily is now three, and my aunt noticed my cousin doing things a little differently and his blank stares around two, I don't think that mentioning it to a doctor is a bad thing. Then they can make a plan and determine if she does need a little bit of extra attention when she starts preschool and kindergarten, its never to early to get children the help they need. whether she has a learning disability or not, I am sure lily would benefit from some tutoring and maybe one on one time with a teacher who is trained to help children having a tough time with a subject. Like I said in my post above, I have no doubt that lily is a very smart little girl, and just because she may not be talking a three year level, doesn't mean she is not a bright child, we could all be very wrong and she could just be very shy maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable being on camera all the time. who knows, but I do not think it would be a bad idea for Vanessa to atleast mention it to lily's doctor. Then if he/she feels there could be an issue they could make a plan to help her.

[stephh+]

I agree with a lot of what you said stephh, but people get very touchy when the subject of autism is brought up. I know it's a spectrum and there is no clear cut 100% diagnostic criteria due to every child being unique. I worked with children on the spectrum at a children's sensory gym, they all were different.

I totally agree, people are sensitive about the subject. I wasn't at all saying that lily for sure has any issues, I think she is a very bright little girl, she is also smart, but that being said, autistic people are often very bright people and excel at one subject. Again, not at all saying lily has any disabilities, but there's always the possibility and if there is a possible sign then Vanessa should talk with her doctor, they could suggest ways to help lily get the needed attention to help her excel when she starts school. I also agree with everyone saying that they should NOT send lily to a private school the kids there will tease her and make her not want to goto school. I think lily would definitely be better at a public school where there are special classes, helpers who are there to help students having any problems with certain subjects, and other children who have similar difficulties with certain subjects.. when I was in elementary school they were great with students who were having a hard time in certain classes and they had tutoring after school and helpers in the classrooms. they should definetly not send her to private school, they are setting her up to be teased and made fun of.

You are like a breath of fresh air! Most member's here have a VERY negative opinion on Autism. I believe it to be plain ignorance.
A simple google search of Turner's and Autism brings up a lot of reading material. Mostly outlining similar behaviors, though I must admit I lack the time and desire to fully educate myself fully on the topic.

I have googled turners and autuism and whether turners girls are more likely to have autusm or learning difficulties and it doesn't really say, but I have seen quite a few people in the comments saything their daughter has mild autism or had issues with math and English or whatever subject. that is why I think it would be a good idea for Vanessa to mention it, then they can evaluate her. Vanessa shouldn't be embarrassed, if she is embarrassed with the thought of lily having a learning disability or autism then I feel very bad for lily she will not only be judged by other kids, but by her own mother. Vanessa needs to suck it up and help lily learn English and get her any extra help needed for her daughter to have the best possible life she can have. I don't think that turners syndrome will hold lily back, but I do think Vanessa could. And I am definetly not hating on Vanessa at all, I know how hard it is even the thought of your child being judged. I just hope that she isn't judgemental or embarrassed by lily.

[gypsophila]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

[stephh+]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

Really though I don't hate Vanessa lol. I have no reason to hate her, sure things she does annoy me but I don't hate her. I think I made it VERY obvious that even if lily did have a learning disability that there is no issue, it happens. My point in all of this was that with her speech she could have a delay, and if Vanessa doesn't get her the right help then she could experience problems once she starts school, and as someone mentioned, she has a speech therapist which is awesome. A visit from a speech therapist a few times a week though will only hep so much, Vanessa needs to take away the ipad and frozen movie and work with her on other things. she said that turners girls usually have difficulties in math? I believe it was (could be wrong on the subject) but she should be working on that specific subject to help lily get a jumpstart. My other point was that with my cousin it was the blank stare that tipped his mom off, and as he got alittle older he started showing more signs, we really haven't seen lily around new and different kids enough to fully tell. My cousin was fine around our other cousins that were close in age to him, but he was very attached to his mom anywhere else and he was stand offish.... which everyone has a different opinion but just small things she does remind me of how my cousin was at her age. It wouldn't hurt for Vanessa to just simply mention it to the doctor, autism and learning disabilities are nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of. Everyone who is disagreeing with lily having one seems to have an issue with autism and disabilities, and they act as if its extremely taboo. It is only that way because people are so offended by the thought of a child having a disability. Lily is special, and she deserves the best that her parents can give her. I see no problem with asking about autism or disabilities in certain subjects. Get her all the help she needs to excel. she deserves it.

[gypsophila]

About the speech delay, there's nothing left to say on that. It's public knowledge from Vanessa's own mouth that Lily has a speech delay and they're working on it with a speech therapist. So yes, for the 1000th time, Lily does have a speech delay. We all know that and Vanessa knows it too since she's the one that told us about it. You don't know what exercises she's been given. Only Vanessa knows that. She's working on it. There's nothing left to talk about on the subject.

Some Turners girls have difficulty with math, but not all. That's an issue for experts to assess. Vanessa tries to work on numbers with Lily, but maybe Lily will need an educational specialist for that. Too soon to tell. She very well could have a learning disability but it's too soon to know.

My point is Lily shows no signs of autism. A blank stare in some videos does not a diagnosis make. She might just be thinking. Or is she zoning out watching tv like kids do. Limit the tv time, no big deal. Vanessa has no reason to ask about autism because Lily just had an assessment done with 5 specialists to see if she was able to start preschool at the same "level" as other kids. They observed her. They found nothing wrong. Why try to second guess a panel of experts? Obviously they know Lily better than any of us ever will. We didn't get to sit in a room and observe her like they did. If something does pop up, it will be handled. Lily has a team of doctors.

[stephh+]

I think you may be forgetting this is a gossip site, where people talk about possibilities and hypothetical situations. I am not disagreeing with you, but people are allowed to discuss whatever they like.

[shelbyxo26]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

I completely agree. She does NOT have Autism. I honestly think her blank stares and short attention span is because of all of the tv and iPad Lily has been exposed it.

[Curtain06]

Thank you snow white! I agree, a lot of people here are pretty negative.

On the whole autism talk I know that most psychologists & specialists are reluctant to even look into a child having the possibility of autism before age 3 as there can be SO many smoke screens and false positives that can be thrown into the mix before that & for a goodly while afterwards.


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Lily is now three, and my aunt noticed my cousin doing things a little differently and his blank stares around two, I don't think that mentioning it to a doctor is a bad thing. Then they can make a plan and determine if she does need a little bit of extra attention when she starts preschool and kindergarten, its never to early to get children the help they need. whether she has a learning disability or not, I am sure lily would benefit from some tutoring and maybe one on one time with a teacher who is trained to help children having a tough time with a subject. Like I said in my post above, I have no doubt that lily is a very smart little girl, and just because she may not be talking a three year level, doesn't mean she is not a bright child, we could all be very wrong and she could just be very shy maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable being on camera all the time. who knows, but I do not think it would be a bad idea for Vanessa to atleast mention it to lily's doctor. Then if he/she feels there could be an issue they could make a plan to help her.

I'm sure like you said with your aunt if the child was showing numerous signs of autism/Aspergers type behaviour then it would be noted but it would be unlikely for them to slap any such diagnosis on Lily tbh. There would have to be numerous signs before they even entertained the idea of testing her for autism properly. That's just the way these things usually work.
I am however the mindset that Lily doesn't show signs of autism but there we go.


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[Curtain06]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

Agreed. I don't think she does either.


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[Dumbledore]

I completely agree. She does NOT have Autism. I honestly think her blank stares and short attention span is because of all of the tv and iPad Lily has been exposed it.

yes! I know it might be hard for her to limit her tv and iPad bc they are home most, if not the entire day but she really should try. At her mom's she INSISTED that lily only watched tv at breakfast time even though the tv was always on. It would be on adult tv shows (adult as in non-kid shows, not meaning inappropriate) or spanish channels and she would constantly get distracted when someone was talking to her or when she would quiz her on her colors/shapes. At least set aside 2 hrs a night where the tv is completely off (even adult shows) and play together, play pretend, do puzzles, have her help with the dishes or dusting idk just turn the tv off.

[Freaksngeeks]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

Don't you always say we don't see enough of her to say what she has or might have? But yet you must see enough to say " She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient."
Um okay?

[gypsophila]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

Don't you always say we don't see enough of her to say what she has or might have? But yet you must see enough to say " She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient."
Um okay?

These traits can be seen over several videos. And my main point is EXPERTS have observed her. No one here is an expert. The EXPERTS will pick up on cues in one sitting, that's absolutely true. Lily had that observation done recently, and Vanessa is taking her to see another specialist. My point is Vanessa is looking after it, and I don't see the point of getting riled over it one way or the other since Lily IS being checked for everything under the sun. She's had consistent medical care from birth and will continue to have it the rest of her life because Turners brings other health concerns with it.

[shelbyxo26]

I completely agree. She does NOT have Autism. I honestly think her blank stares and short attention span is because of all of the tv and iPad Lily has been exposed it.

yes! I know it might be hard for her to limit her tv and iPad bc they are home most, if not the entire day but she really should try. At her mom's she INSISTED that lily only watched tv at breakfast time even though the tv was always on. It would be on adult tv shows (adult as in non-kid shows, not meaning inappropriate) or spanish channels and she would constantly get distracted when someone was talking to her or when she would quiz her on her colors/shapes. At least set aside 2 hrs a night where the tv is completely off (even adult shows) and play together, play pretend, do puzzles, have her help with the dishes or dusting idk just turn the tv off.

Yes! Thank you! I've literally been saying this forever (whether thinking it or actually typing it out) To me, Lily shows no signs of any of that. In fact Lily actually tries very hard to talk and to form sentences, it's not like she's completely clueless and has no idea what's going on. I think her speech delay is not only related to her paralyzed vocal cord (which Vanessa has mentioned several times) but because of her TV and iPad time. Even if the tv is on for "background nose" Lily is still a child and watch it no matter what is on. If you watch the videos regularly Lily talks and sings all of time, in my experience with Autism he cried and screeched all of time and some of the characteristic he had, Lily does not have. I think just some work and less tv/ipad, also it would really help if when Vanessa is talking to Lily she talks a little bit slower and more clear, not so "aren't you a cute baby" voice.

[msliss]

As a mother with a child who possibly has autstim, Lily does not show any signs...my son is 29 months old and barely has any words maybe 10 and it's super frustrating because I do try and work with him.

Lily is very bright and her speech is pretty decent in my opinion, V should work with her more though.

& they will test before 3 my son goes April 21st.

[mommyplusOne2010]

VOTE FOR V YOU GUYS!!!!!




I'm totally kidding

[Curtain06]

I don't think it's being "sensitive to the subject" to say that Lily shows no signs of autism. She really doesn't. It's true that the autism card comes up in virtually every thread where people don't like the mother though. Lily is an easy target, I get that. But she shows more signs of being just perfectly normal. She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient. Where are the markers for autism spectrum? I don't get why people take joy in hoping something is really wrong with almost every child on here. Then they are the ones to call others "sensitive". No, we are just objective. When you obviously hate the mother, you're not going to be objective about her child or any decisions she makes. I've yet to see one kid on here actually diagnosed with anything that people speculated about. But like I always say, time will tell. It's not something that can be hidden.

Don't you always say we don't see enough of her to say what she has or might have? But yet you must see enough to say " She's sociable, loving, likes being hugged, doesn't try to remove herself from physical contact, she's engaging, happy, active and obedient."
Um okay?

To say she's delayed in areas you don't see enough of is fair. Autistic features would become more and more apparent as time went on and would be observed through videos. Not only that there would likely be more than a supposed vacant stare to go on. The fact you see her display behaviours that are totally against symptoms of autism in a 10 minute video should tell you a lot.
I should note, I don't have any personal experience I just have a masters in psychology where I've studied the autistic spectrum and similar disorders briefly.


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