Lucy I am so sorry. I also have IF issues. I have pcos and this christmas marks the 13th year I've been ttc. I got pregnant with a lot of help with a little boy in 2009. I had placental abruption and he passed away. The next year we tried and each month was brought by more disappointment. I had to wait 6 weeks to have sex (it was painful) and 3 cycles to ttc again. Two to three months is a long time. Especially when you've been trying for so long without results.LucyDiamond wrote:As someone who battled infertility I can TOTALLY see doing things like prepping a diaper bag. We are (finally!) pregnant but the process is pretty awful. One of the things Ayla talked about being hard with adoption is sitting & waiting. I can totally get that. During IF treatments the waiting periods were the worst. You feel like you're not doing anything to work towards what you want. When you're taking meds/doing injections/whatever you feel like youre making progress. After a miscarriage I had to wait two months for my body to heal -- it doesn't sound long and in retrospect it wasn't but at the time it felt like I was just sitting on my hands for SO long.
The year before my son passed away we had our first failed adoption. In the state we'd lived in at the time judges go back and forth which makes zero sense since there are so many children in foster care. They even give parents 3 chances sometimes to get their act together before parental rights are terminated. My sister adopted and the bio mom was given two chances. She was stopped for a dui with my niece in the backseat without a car seat. She's also very mentally ill and cannot take care of herself never mind a child.
I got pregnant again in 2010 and my daughter was born sleeping in 2011. My then husband changed and became abusive and I just couldn't stay and there was no way I was bringing a child into that. We divorced.
I have been friends with my husband's sister since 2006. And he and I started dating in 2013 and married the same year.
He has three sons, and we wanted more children. We've had a failed adoption of twins. We were picked and at the last minute the birth mom added a second family whom was also in the running. It was horrible. My husband and I were younger than this couple. They had 4 sons already and all 4 had wives who were pregnant at the time. What broke our hearts was that we were told we were the couple she wanted to have adopt her twins. We knew with adoption there are never any guarantees until the last possible minute, but with the twins being born around christmas and the other older couple being chosen we were heartbroken.
We decided we couldn't handle that kind of rollercoaster again. So we're thinking of doing embryo adoption and we continue IF treatments.
Baby showers aren't hard for me. I enjoy them. I know eventually I'll get my miracle. The wait is just out of this world difficult.Missing my children adds to that pain. Their birthdays, holidays.
Congrats Lucy on your pregnancy I am very happy for you!
my due date is smack in the middle of two friends' due dates and I'm the only one not complaining about being over pregnancy. Every second of heartburn is so so so worth it. One of the only IF mantras that didn't annoy me was the idea of the right baby at the right time. I'm certain it will be that way for you. 
