Derek & Liza

Post Reply
User avatar
Caisflame
True Gossiper
True Gossiper
Posts: 1419
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:44 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 3 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Caisflame »

It's kind of hard to judge by the arms in the pic, we see so little and the lighting is off. That is a white stomach for sure.
User avatar
actuallydear
Guru Gossiper
Guru Gossiper
Posts: 3639
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:53 am
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 2 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by actuallydear »

I thought J was white too based off the pic but I’m gonna trust what D&L have said, because if she is black - they would know more than we do. Maybe she is biracial. Or just light skinned. Who knows?

I wish there was something we could do to get Charlotte back into their arms.
pemak483
Wallflower
Wallflower
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 12:18 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by pemak483 »

I can't get them out of my mind. I remember she said in the vlog bringing C home that she felt like someone would say "jk" and take her away from them. Heartbreaking doesn't even begin to cover it.

Sent from my SM-G920R6 using Tapatalk
User avatar
Pineapples
Guru Gossiper
Guru Gossiper
Posts: 2285
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2016 8:33 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Pineapples »

Yes I believe them that she is African American. I was just curious but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. It's very sad.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
User avatar
Caisflame
True Gossiper
True Gossiper
Posts: 1419
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:44 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 3 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Caisflame »

pemak483 wrote:I can't get them out of my mind. I remember she said in the vlog bringing C home that she felt like someone would say "jk" and take her away from them. Heartbreaking doesn't even begin to cover it.

Sent from my SM-G920R6 using Tapatalk
I just watched that video yesterday and man that was hard to watch. She had no clue that somebody actually was going to do that do her...
minmouse
Gossiper
Gossiper
Posts: 673
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:16 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by minmouse »

I am so glad that a thread was started for these two. I've been watching them since before they started their adoption plans. They seem like the nicest people and I think they'll be great parents. Their story is so heartbreaking! I can't imagine going through infertility then having 4 adoptions fail. Life is so cruel sometimes. I wonder what happened with this last match? From what I've seen about Florida law, Mama J can only change her mind if she can prove she signed papers under duress. The other thing it could be is the birth father stepped forward and decided to parent. They've never mentioned the father so my guess is this is what happened. I can't imagine having the baby and bonding with them then to have to give them back after a few weeks. Devastating.

I know they want an open adoption but I always felt they were too close to Mama J. It is actually discouraged by agencies to develop a relationship like that. I'm surprised the agency allowed it. I hope whatever happened didn't involve her changing her mind since I think it'd hurt worse due to the relationship they had with her. In the future, I hope they protect themselves more emotionally and also choose a birth mom with a present father. That way they can know both birth parents are on board and sign over their rights. Unfortunately, adoption failures like this happen and are not uncommon. Derek and Liza just have shit luck that it's happened 4x. They will be great parents and I really hope it happens for them soon.
User avatar
Caisflame
True Gossiper
True Gossiper
Posts: 1419
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:44 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 3 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Caisflame »

Have they ever talked about surrogacy? (Or maybe that was ruled out when ivf failed? I'm not well versed in ivf or surrogacy.)
Tiger27
True Gossiper
True Gossiper
Posts: 1335
Joined: Sun Jun 18, 2017 10:00 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 9 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Tiger27 »

I haven't watched every single one of their videos so maybe I'm missing some stuff but I never got the picture that they were super duper close to Mama J, they always seemed fake happy to me when talking about their close relationship. They also seemed to allude a lot to bumps in the road and unexpected situations. At one point they talked about her not going to the doctor for a while, right? Things always sounded a little sketchy behind the scenes to me but they always covered it in a very positive way and never gave enough details to really understand what all was happening. I'm still completely surprised this happened but things didn't seem like all rainbows and butterflies prior to the birth either.

In addition to surrogacy...have they ever considered international adoption? I know all of this is very expensive (which is a shame)...
minmouse
Gossiper
Gossiper
Posts: 673
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:16 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by minmouse »

They definitely had a lot of contact with Mama J. They met for meals, movies and they helped her when she moved. Liza mentioned contact with her and I believe it was email and possible phone or texts too. At first the agency had a representative present but then let them exchange direct contact info.
Southerndunes260
Amateur
Amateur
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 10:19 am
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 6 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Southerndunes260 »

They have removed themselves from all social media. Apparently they were getting alot of hate. And it looks like they have removed alot of the videos from YouTube


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
blackroses
Extreme Gossiper
Extreme Gossiper
Posts: 1957
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2015 1:37 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 1 time

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by blackroses »

They also went private on Instagram
Meh2000
Wallflower
Wallflower
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:08 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Meh2000 »

I think it would be prudent of Derek and Liza to consider moving forward with a closed adoption. They haven't shown a preference for race, which has the potential to bump them up on a waiting list (A lot of white couples seeking adoption only want brand spanking new little white babies).

I think forgoing the establishment of a relationship with the birth parents would be a smart move for them. Up until now they are naming these birth mothers "Mama X" and establishing a relationship with them, following their pregnancies...they become TOO INVESTED in something that has a high probability of not working out in the short and long term.

Closed adoption! Baby is born, papers are signed...and if the mother changes her mind, at least the couple hasn't spent months counting down every second of the mother's pregnancy leading up to the birth. Subsequently, the couple won't have to deal with the birth family long term.


I will add that I didn't care for the way they confrontationally addressed followers who wanted validation on the legitimacy of fundraising efforts, their post was pretty tactless and a huge slap in the face to their support system... like excuse me, I don't know your "dear Friend" who is soliciting money from us.
minmouse
Gossiper
Gossiper
Posts: 673
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:16 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by minmouse »

I feel so bad for them. Who hates on a couple who is going thru what they're going thru?!?! People can be such assholes. I hope they are doing okay and take as much time as they need.
Lennmama
Amateur
Amateur
Posts: 57
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:05 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 2 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Lennmama »

minmouse wrote:I feel so bad for them. Who hates on a couple who is going thru what they're going thru?!?! People can be such assholes. I hope they are doing okay and take as much time as they need.
I know the internet can be a hateful place, but I can't figure it out either. Who would be sending them such awful messages? And it seems like there were many from the tone of some of the posts/comments I've read. I also don't really understand why people would be questioning the fundraiser. Derek and Liza have always come across as such honest, genuine people.

Sent from my XT1563 using Tapatalk
User avatar
Caisflame
True Gossiper
True Gossiper
Posts: 1419
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:44 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 3 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Caisflame »

I can understand why people questioned the fundraiser, because it wasn't coming from Derek and Liza themselves, it was coming from someone nobody really knew. Fundraiser scams happen all the time unfortunately so I'm usually skeptical of donating until the person in need of the money let's us know in some way that they approve and will be receiving the money. I'm glad they shared that their friends fundraiser is legit.
Southerndunes260
Amateur
Amateur
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Sep 26, 2017 10:19 am
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 6 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Southerndunes260 »

I'm in the UK and don't understand the US adoption process. In the UK (as far as I know) you would adopt from our social services department!! Sadly there will always be a minority of people who are just full of spite and hate. My heart is breaking for this poor couple


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
MandyJ
Informer
Informer
Posts: 394
Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2016 11:34 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by MandyJ »

Pineapples wrote:[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201709 ... 61b11e.png[/img][img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201709 ... d90977.png[/img]

I definitely don't see dark arms! I do definitely see white stomach. Hmmm.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Look more closely at that second picture. Looks like just a little bit of her arm which definitely looks brown. The belly is probably a light colored shirt not her skin.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Meh2000
Wallflower
Wallflower
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:08 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Meh2000 »

I think this couple needs to go a different route, with each of three failed adoptions they developed a “relationship” with the birth mother and spent weeks to months in suspense, waiting to meet a child that may never actually be theirs. On the flipside, I see a lot of adoptive parents out there “getting a call” and picking baby up, cut and dry, end of story. Is closed adoption more expensive? Is there a longer wait? Are the outcomes better? Anyone have any insight?
Tiger27
True Gossiper
True Gossiper
Posts: 1335
Joined: Sun Jun 18, 2017 10:00 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 9 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by Tiger27 »

Meh2000 wrote:I think this couple needs to go a different route, with each of three failed adoptions they developed a “relationship” with the birth mother and spent weeks to months in suspense, waiting to meet a child that may never actually be theirs. On the flipside, I see a lot of adoptive parents out there “getting a call” and picking baby up, cut and dry, end of story. Is closed adoption more expensive? Is there a longer wait? Are the outcomes better? Anyone have any insight?
I too have thought about this if I found myself adopting...I think I would prefer a closed adoption with the option of the child contacting their birth parents at a certain age if they wanted. It's selfish, but I don't think I'd want to "share" my child. Derek and Liza always seemed really excited about their adoptions being open. Phil and Alex are a good example of open adoption and are strong proponents of it. I just don't really see the appeal as a parent, although I can see how it may be beneficial for the child. I just think it makes things too messy and it would be so hard having another "parent" to always include or please or be there to judge your choices. Another family that comes to mind is Caitlynn and Tyler from Teen Mom...they had a semi open adoption (I think) and it seemed really trying on both families (although this was obviously complicated by their stardom).
User avatar
actuallydear
Guru Gossiper
Guru Gossiper
Posts: 3639
Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:53 am
Has thanked: 1 time
Been thanked: 2 times

Re: Derek & Liza

Unread post by actuallydear »

I went to their IG and they changed their bio to 3 failed adoptions. Was Charlotte not the 4th adoption? :/ AND they have deleted the post announcing that the baby was no longer with them. The rest remain. This is all very strange.
Post Reply

Return to “A-H”