MIL being difficult with move

Post Reply
clamicheat
Amateur
Amateur
Posts: 30
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:12 pm
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

MIL being difficult with move

Unread post by clamicheat »

I haven't posted much but I've been lurking for a long time. I'm 19 years old and married to a 21 year old. We have a daughter that's a year old. We live with my parents right now but we have found an apartment that is affordable and perfect for us. We move in on the first. This should be an exciting and happy time for us.
It's more stressful than anything. My mother in law was so happy we found a place. After she found out it's just down the street from my parents she started in with, "are you sure you want to live so close to your parents?" "Well I lived there an the landlord was awful" (seventeen years ago. Completely different LL now). She's an extremely difficult, vindictive, manipulative, jealous person.
It made my husband mad and he's decided shes not to know anything until we sign the lease.
It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking how she's going to react when we finally do tell her. We never told her how our first appointment went with the LL.
This is all so ridiculous to me. We went by ourselves to sew the place, like adults. We have all the money to pay for the rent and security deposit without borrowing, like adults. I would think she should be proud or happy. I don't know anymore.
Sorry this is all over the place. I'm just so frustrated with the whole situation.
gypsophila
Guru Gossiper
Guru Gossiper
Posts: 3347
Joined: Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:29 am
Has thanked: 0
Been thanked: 0

Re: MIL being difficult with move

Unread post by gypsophila »

Stick to your plans and never apologize or explain yourselves. "This is where we live now. You're welcome to visit, just give us a call Mom!". Keep it short and simple and don't engage in her making dramatic statements. It may take her many years to accept that you're both adults, and have your own family and your own ways of doing things. Don't falter. Don't give her control over how you want things done. That's up to you and you alone. It's hard to stand up to other people, but it's easy to just say "We are doing it this way, but thanks for your concern."

I had years of inlaw problems. Then I realized it was just stress I created for myself over statements they had made. They probably had no idea they were upsetting me. It was mostly nothing important, but at the time I wasn't confident in myself. I got over it. :D Try not to make your husband the middle guy. Be direct or just ignore.
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”- Buddha
Post Reply

Return to “Advice and Venting”