E+J: 4 Bites of Tender Steak. PART 30

[menehune]

I honestly think he is tired of Ellie not being happy. Sure she has a valid reason this time, but I think mentally he's exhausted. From what we saw when hey first started out he's an emotional and empathetic person and I can relate very much to this. Spending too much time with someone negative is draining and painful to me. I think he's got his hopes up time and time again that things are going to be better and NOW she'll be happy, only to have that ripped away again. Jackson, Calvin, the house, a yard, Penny, trees, etc.... the list of "I'll be happy when's" just never ends. I'm sure that's exhausting for Jared.

Not to mention the amount of energy he probably spends worrying about how every move they make is going to affect their channel that is losing steam. It sure life is overwhelming for him and it just Ellie right now. He deserves sympathy too... not just Ellie. He not only lost a baby too, but he happy and peaceful home he's been trying to create for MONTHS.

I agree. I can see he's upset and just faking happy. We've seen how obsessive Ellie can be about things and how unable she is to focus on more than one thing. They camped out at that house the whole time it was being build and couldn't possibly just continue on enjoying life as it was in the moment. She couldn't enjoy her newborn because she was so obsessed with breastfeeding. We just know that Ellie talked non-stop about the baby for that entire month, and that Jared was probably just happy to see her finally herself again. I don't think he'll ever divorce Ellie, but I guarantee he feels trapped, and just wants her to be who he thought she was again. For a month he had that, and probably had hope that they would be ok. Not only that, but he had hope that the channel would be ok.

I think Jared stays out of Ellie's way when she's on a tear. I believe thats his coping mechanism because I can see a lot of myself in him with that. I once dated a negative person, and by the end of it I was frustrated and just done waiting for him to finally be happy. It was easier to just stay out of his way.

Based on today's vlog, I have no doubts the first miscarriage was a fake. I hope they are ashamed of themselves. I also think there is a part of Ellie that is enjoying the attention she's getting. I really think she needs therapy. Plus I hate that she was talking about bleeding and cramping with Jackson right there. He is repeating what she is saying and I'm not sure he didn't know she wasn't talking to him. He is witness to too much information for a 3 year old and they need to do better about protecting him. He can't shoulder her pain and shouldn't have to.

And that painting and frame are hideous. It would have been trendy back in the 80s. Grandma's painting ends up in the bathroom, but that gets the family room?

[HelloSweetie]

The Progesterone Ellie is taking is what is keeping her from miscarrying naturally. She doesn't need a D&C. Like she said in the vlog, she will probably start the process within the next week and a half now that she isn't taking it anymore.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

I agree with the above comments about Ellie talking about the miscarriage and what would hapeen in front of Jackson. She really is dense. Jackson is smart, definitley smart enough to worry if his mother is bleeding. He doesnt need to know! He shouldnt have known about any of what has gone on the last month but he definitely doesnt need to know about this.

[Bethypooh51]

Well I will give Ellie and Jared props for today's vlog. They are handling this miscarriage a lot better as far as being transparent and real. But it is still so sad to me how much they have changed since they first started vlogging. The arrogance is what really bothers me.


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[IceCreamCone]

She shouldn't be talking about the miscarriage in front of Jackson. She can't control herself. You just know she talked non-stop about the baby in front of Jackson and that's how he knew. Plus they were also vlogging in front of the kids and talking about it. We may not have seen that footage yet, but the kids were there. Like a true Narcissist, she fails to see her children as individuals. They are there for the support and affection they can provide her.

I agree the painting is hideous.

About the D&C, Ellie doesn't need one. That is surgery, and should be avoided if at all possible. There are risks of scarring, and a reaction to the anaesthetics used. Natural is always better. Plus she'd likely have to wait longer before trying again and I'm fairly certain Ellie wouldn't follow that advice.

[Romeoxsavexme]

I feel bad for Ellie. I am 9 weeks pregnant and am so worried something is going to happen. I was judging her pretty hard when she told Jackson and Calvin this early but when I took a second to think about it I told both of my girls as well. It's just something that happened naturally out of excitement. I told my 4 year old that we will have to pray every day to make sure the baby is healthy. I do feel bad for the boys that they went in expecting to see the baby but it resulted in Ellie crying. That must have been very confusing.


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[Romeoxsavexme]

All the drama!! I'm sure they are upset to have another miscarriage but they are creating a Hollywood type drama with over the top theatrics! She was only pregnant for a month. Who announces that to the world and especially your other small children? They go on and on to Jackson about the baby in mommy's tummy and explaining everything. It's fine to do all that once you enter your second trimester and everything is going well. To carry on like that after being pregnant for just a few weeks is ridiculous. To top it off they are playing sad music along with the narration. I know how devastating miscarriage can be but what about millions of women who can never have children at all? They already have two beautiful boys and they seem ungrateful and greedy to me. I'm wondering if Elle feels she needs to compete with Bonnie? I hope this teaches them a lesson to keep their mouth shut until the pregnancy is well established in the future. To make announcements to everyone early on (for vlog ratings and views!) is just asking for more drama and disappointment..not to mention it makes them look ridiculous!

I'm so tired of this "only pregnant for a month" BS. Its been said this MS is Karma for faking the last one, so just remember that if y'all have a MS after *only* a month it's KARMA and you apparently aren't allowed to be sad about it.

Also, Ellie has said multiple times that they are so thankful for the two kids they have and they know other people struggle to have any at all.

I really don't like E & J, and I do snark on them and other family Vloggers every now and then, but I swear some people on these forums are so petty and have to bitch about EVERY LITTLE THING and blow things way out of proportion.

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Seriously. I'm just over nine weeks (I've known for about 5 weeks) and if I miscarried today, I'd be devastated. We talk to the fetus, we're thinking about a nursery, we've told family, etc, etc. One month of knowing about a pregnancy is a long time!

So much this!!! I found out at 3 weeks I'm pregnant and now I'm 9w4d. It feel like I've been pregnant for awhile. We have already thought of names and our hearts are so connected. If I miscarried now I would be devastated. I miscarried around 10 weeks and that killed me.


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[IceCreamCone]

I feel bad for Ellie. I am 9 weeks pregnant and am so worried something is going to happen. I was judging her pretty hard when she told Jackson and Calvin this early but when I took a second to think about it I told both of my girls as well. It's just something that happened naturally out of excitement. I told my 4 year old that we will have to pray every day to make sure the baby is healthy. I do feel bad for the boys that they went in expecting to see the baby but it resulted in Ellie crying. That must have been very confusing.


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Not just confusing... frightening! Kids don't like to see their parents out of control. Ellie has admitted to being an anxious person, and she appears to have started using Jackson as a sounding board for sympathy to ease these anxieties. He will already have a natural tendency towards them, and she's giving him information that is only going to make this worse.

I think they are going to have a lot of issues with anxiety if this pattern continues. "Be happy" isn't going to do much to avoid or fix this.

[Romeoxsavexme]

I feel bad for Ellie. I am 9 weeks pregnant and am so worried something is going to happen. I was judging her pretty hard when she told Jackson and Calvin this early but when I took a second to think about it I told both of my girls as well. It's just something that happened naturally out of excitement. I told my 4 year old that we will have to pray every day to make sure the baby is healthy. I do feel bad for the boys that they went in expecting to see the baby but it resulted in Ellie crying. That must have been very confusing.


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Not just confusing... frightening! Kids don't like to see their parents out of control. Ellie has admitted to being an anxious person, and she appears to have started using Jackson as a sounding board for sympathy to ease these anxieties. He will already have a natural tendency towards them, and she's giving him information that is only going to make this worse.

I think they are going to have a lot of issues with anxiety if this pattern continues. "Be happy" isn't going to do much to avoid or fix this.

I agree. I very much wanted to bring my 4 year old to my most recent ultrasound but I couldn't imagine doing that to her if something happened.


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[LittleRus]

Maybe it is just me but they have been so much more relate-able the past 2 vlogs. Maybe bc they are humbled a bit.

To the person who says they should wait until the 2nd tri- I disagree wholeheartedly. If they want to share to get support good and bad, I see nothing wrong with that. I do agree that they should have waited to tell Jackson and should not have been talking about it in front of him . He is 3.5 and picks up on this stuff.

Someone also mentioned how she was vlogging in front of the kids- I thought the same thing. Even when my husband and I are having a serious discussion, my 4 year old picks up on it and will say "mommy what did you say to daddy." They are very perceptive of tone and although it was fine to do when the kids were little and oblivious,E&J really need to stop doing it in front of them

[heymallie]

I feel horrible for Ellie and jared no parent should have to go through losing a child no matter how old or before birth. I think that both Ellie and Jared believe that having a child is going to solve all their problems. With Jared whatever marriage issues he is having with Ellie and the channel not doing as well as it had been. Ellie her constant need to be the center of attention and getting what she wants. I'm not saying that's their reasons for having another baby just seems like their solution to some problems that have been having or we think they are having.

I again believe that the first miscarriage was Ellie's period because after they announced having one that it seemed like Ellie and Jared were fighting with jared wanting not to be at the house and with the kids, a lot of us speculated that too. With the amount of tension that was there with just Jared talking to the kids it sounded like how my mom would talk to me before my parents would separate. This time it's completely different.


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[Nini12]

She shouldn't be talking about the miscarriage in front of Jackson. She can't control herself. You just know she talked non-stop about the baby in front of Jackson and that's how he knew. Plus they were also vlogging in front of the kids and talking about it. We may not have seen that footage yet, but the kids were there. Like a true Narcissist, she fails to see her children as individuals. They are there for the support and affection they can provide her.

Honestly I think she's never aware of how talking some things in front of the kids isn't good for them, I don't even think that the "I'm sad for Jackson" is real. With Ellie and Ruby I always get the feeling that when they have to be mature/motherly/responsable with their kids, they're always doing what's expected from them and not what they would naturally think to do, that's why it's so easy to do the same thing that their mother would do.
It's as if some basic things don't click in their heads and they have to fake it by doing what their mother told them or one sister suggested.

Again, I think Ellie needs mental help but what is Jared doing to help his kids? Nothing.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

She shouldn't be talking about the miscarriage in front of Jackson. She can't control herself. You just know she talked non-stop about the baby in front of Jackson and that's how he knew. Plus they were also vlogging in front of the kids and talking about it. We may not have seen that footage yet, but the kids were there. Like a true Narcissist, she fails to see her children as individuals. They are there for the support and affection they can provide her.

Honestly I think she's never aware of how talking some things in front of the kids isn't good for them, I don't even think that the "I'm sad for Jackson" is real. With Ellie and Ruby I always get the feeling that when they have to be mature/motherly/responsable with their kids, they're always doing what's expected from them and not what they would naturally think to do, that's why it's so easy to do the same thing that their mother would do.
It's as if some basic things don't click in their heads and they have to fake it by doing what their mother told them or one sister suggested.

Again, I think Ellie needs mental help but what is Jared doing to help his kids? Nothing.

Exactly!! Jared is doing nothing. There is no way he can sit and edit these videos and not know how damaging Ellie is to those kids. I dont care why Ellie is acting this way, I dont care how afraid Jared is of upsetting her, all that matters is the way Ellie treats them, Jackson especially, is NOT ok. Ellie's mental health is NOT ok. Jared knows Ellie has been a completely different person this last month, Jared knows what its going to be like in their house for the kids now that Ellie isnt pregnant. DO something about it. And if that means removing yourself and the kids until Ellie is in a healthier state then so be it but stop subjecting those kids to Ellie's mood swings.

[Pency]

I feel terrible for Ellie. I really do, you could see her emotions on her face when the Dr was telling her what happened. BUT that being said, Karma sucks.
When you watch Ellie's reaction dont forget this is the very same lady who called the IVF winners ON Mother's day to announce that she got pregnant their first TTC cycle.
You get what you give, I wouldnt wish a miscarriage on anyone BUT I firmly believe she has some nasty karma coming towards her. What they did to those couple who have been trying YEARS was beyond horrid.

Yes, she's a bitch for calling people experiencing IF on Mother's Day but that isn't WHY she miscarried. 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I've miscarried, I'm sure many others who comment here have miscarried, and it wasn't because they did something shitty in their life. Good people are allowed to be sad about that, and assholes are allowed to be sad about it. I'm also allowed to to be sad for anybody who is miscarrying because regardless what you've done in your life, it's a sad thing to go through.

[calliepaige]

I know not everyone watches all of the Griffiths family sisters, so will probably post this in the others too.... but Julie is moving back to Utah and I am so happy for her. Sounds like she will be living really close to Ruby. I am happy for her kids too since they seem to love their cousins so much.


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[HelloSweetie]

I guess I see the thing with Jared differently because I see him as a victim too. We've seen that Ellie is controlling and manipulative. He can't just make decisions and put his foot down about things. Obviously it isn't a good environment at home if he tries. This is emotional abuse, and no one would be victim blaming a wife for failing to protect her children from a controlling spouse. Just because Ellie is tiny and pretty, doesn't mean she isn't controlling Jared.

Until you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you really wouldn't know how hard it is to deal with. It's much easier to just keep hoping the other person will get better.

[lmmomSD]

But if Ellie said "This is why I didn't want to bring the boys", that means Jared pushed it for footage. So he's just as culpable in Jackson seeing things he's too young to understand, and shouldn't be subjected to. I know how exhausting it must be to live with someone who is never happy with what she has-- always thinking that the _next_ thing will make her happy. Baby, house, dog, grass, trees-- and now another baby. But he can still protect the boys some.

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[LynnGLOVE8989]

All the drama!! I'm sure they are upset to have another miscarriage but they are creating a Hollywood type drama with over the top theatrics! She was only pregnant for a month. Who announces that to the world and especially your other small children? They go on and on to Jackson about the baby in mommy's tummy and explaining everything. It's fine to do all that once you enter your second trimester and everything is going well. To carry on like that after being pregnant for just a few weeks is ridiculous. To top it off they are playing sad music along with the narration. I know how devastating miscarriage can be but what about millions of women who can never have children at all? They already have two beautiful boys and they seem ungrateful and greedy to me. I'm wondering if Elle feels she needs to compete with Bonnie? I hope this teaches them a lesson to keep their mouth shut until the pregnancy is well established in the future. To make announcements to everyone early on (for vlog ratings and views!) is just asking for more drama and disappointment..not to mention it makes them look ridiculous!

How can hoping for children be greedy?? I will never understand that statement! They want children to love and care for. I don't get it.

Sorry but your post comes across as so incredibly disrespectful to millions of women grieving their lost babies. Ellie and Jared are not my fave couple, I find them to be very materialistic and greedy, but this post rubbed me the wrong way. Babies are babies and people can bond with their fetus immediately. I don't think this is all just for show - they have obviously been wanting another child for a while now and are devastated.

Plus... women announce their pregnancies early all the time because they want to share their joy with their loved ones! I honestly think E and J have a connection with their viewers and wanted to share their joy. Not to mention, some women share early because they want the support if they have a miscarriage. Sometimes it is comforting to have people share their stories and offer love and comfort in times of distress.

[Nuna]

I guess I see the thing with Jared differently because I see him as a victim too. We've seen that Ellie is controlling and manipulative. He can't just make decisions and put his foot down about things. Obviously it isn't a good environment at home if he tries. This is emotional abuse, and no one would be victim blaming a wife for failing to protect her children from a controlling spouse. Just because Ellie is tiny and pretty, doesn't mean she isn't controlling Jared.

Until you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you really wouldn't know how hard it is to deal with. It's much easier to just keep hoping the other person will get better.

Ellie tried to get a worker in trouble because they didn't acknowledge her presence when another worker did. We have seen she has an incredibly short temper and can be very passive aggressive. Know who the number one receiver of this would be? Jared. Passive aggression is a form of abuse, but one that few people recognize because it isn't visible. That doesn't mean its any less harmful than physical abuse though, just that the proof isn't there. Ellie's new obsession with online shopping could definitely be a form of passive aggression. A lot of PA women will do this the more their husband tries to talk about financial concerns. Its a passive way of sticking it to them and asserting their dominance without actually saying anything.

Another instance that we've seen Ellie be passive aggressive is with Cal's neck. Jared put his foot down and what happened? Ellie wanted nothing to do with those appointments or his physical therapy. She took no interest. He literally had to vlog telling her about it to get her to listen to how the exercises are performed, and she could hardly feign interest. We've seen her be PA with birthday presents. If she bothers to attend, she finds ways to make it about her. Taking part of a birthday present, or insisting on having the first piece of cake. She's been PA to the negative comments on Twitter, and very quick to temper and get defensive at even the most innocent attempt at feedback.

I agree that Ellie is emotionally manipulative, and that Jared was the perfect mark. He has no business bringing more children into the relationship, but for all we know she keeps getting pregnant during a month of "not trying" as far as he's concerned. Remember, she's just taking the tests to track her cycles. Jared used to be a different person and he's changed. I don't think Ellie has because you can see signs of her being like that from the beginning. I've both been in an abusive relationship and have seen one from the outside. I can completely identify with how Jared's family seems to be around Ellie. I think we can criticize how Jared is handling the miscarriage for not comforting Ellie, but I don't think we should be demonizing him. She has certainly made sure to not show empathy to him when he's upset as well.

[Nuna]

But if Ellie said "This is why I didn't want to bring the boys", that means Jared pushed it for footage. So he's just as culpable in Jackson seeing things he's too young to understand, and shouldn't be subjected to. I know how exhausting it must be to live with someone who is never happy with what she has-- always thinking that the _next_ thing will make her happy. Baby, house, dog, grass, trees-- and now another baby. But he can still protect the boys some.

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She could also just have been lashing out and turning it around on him. Narcissists do this all the time. Ellie makes no mistakes right? If she wanted to arrange a sitter, she could have just called Bonnie, or told Jared kids weren't allowed.

You're right they are both wrong, but I disagree with people demonizing Jared all of a sudden because they identify with what Ellie is going through. Ellie and Jared's marriage is not typical, and even in a normal relationship husbands will often struggle in dealing with miscarriage. The baby isn't as real to them as it is for the woman. Some men can't even bond with their kids until they are actually born! Bottom line, Ellie is in the power position and certainly could have put her foot down so pointing the finger at Jared like she had known it was wrong and just did it anyway sounds a lot like an excuse. Like saying "I knew they should have worn a seatbelt!" after a bad car accident hurts your kids. They both took the risk.

They also had that photoshoot scheduled, so we know neither one expected for it to be anything but good news.