John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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Mk1
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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calliepaige84 wrote:
Mk1 wrote:So, obviously not John and Joan related...but IVF couples related still...

I posted this under the Aaron & Rylie thread also (but it's not very active so not sure it anyone would see my post there). Aaron and Rylie just posted a photo on Instagram that baby Declan made his grand debut today, Friday 10/27!
Oh exciting! Was he early? Feels like she just got pregnant lol


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I think their last vlog was a 38 week update, so only slightly early unless the most recent vlog was recorded a week or two ago. It does seem like her pregnancy went by really fast! But that also could be due to the fact that they don't vlog a whole ton also so we weren't seeing every day of their pregnancy.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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Has anyone here seen the musical Next to Normal? I was listening to the soundtrack today and realized that the mom in the musical reminds me a little of Joan. Especially the song “Superboy and the Invisible Girl.,” which is what I’m afraid will happen with their child living under Maeve’s shadow.

I do really hope they continue to focus on mental health and well-being and that this is a smooth uneventful pregnancy and they get their perfectly healthy take home baby.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by Caisflame »

I know this is stupid but man, I just realized how annoying Joan's voice is. Like nails on a chalkboard. No wonder I could never sit through their videos.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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I don't particually like Joan and John, but I'll have to disagree about their relationship being just about having babies.
From what I see they are a fun silly couple, they seem to really love each-other.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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Defuego wrote:I know this is stupid but man, I just realized how annoying Joan's voice is. Like nails on a chalkboard. No wonder I could never sit through their videos.
I agree. It has an unfortunate whining tone to it even when she is at her happiest (ie; announcing she's pregnant). It's like she can't get enough air into her lungs to breath and speak out in a stronger voice or something.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by boredmamaneedsdrama »

Scar2016 wrote:
Defuego wrote:I know this is stupid but man, I just realized how annoying Joan's voice is. Like nails on a chalkboard. No wonder I could never sit through their videos.
I agree. It has an unfortunate whining tone to it even when she is at her happiest (ie; announcing she's pregnant). It's like she can't get enough air into her lungs to breath and speak out in a stronger voice or something.
All of that plus sooo nasal. And she scrunches her nose a lot when speaking so it get even worse.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by actuallydear »

She always looks like she’s on the verge of tears the way she crinkles her nose, her teeth settle on each other and she does the inward laugh. This happens a lot. Except for when she’s pregnant and excited about it.


I really enjoyed the last vlog though and I really hope this pregnancy results in a healthy baby.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by GetYouTubesTied »

How far along is she? Sorry can't bring myself to follow her insta or vlogs
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by may8675 »

I think she is around 6 weeks. In 5 days she will have her first scans

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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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I honestly feel awful,I thought Joan was at least 45.She looks AGED.And her voice,Too.I All around thouht this woman was at least 45.Wow.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by marshmallowfluf »

TheOneWhoBlogs wrote:I honestly feel awful,I thought Joan was at least 45.She looks AGED.And her voice,Too.I All around thouht this woman was at least 45.Wow.
So how old is she? She has said several times “i haven’t ate meat in 20 years” so was she a vegetarian as a child?
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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marshmallowfluf wrote:
TheOneWhoBlogs wrote:I honestly feel awful,I thought Joan was at least 45.She looks AGED.And her voice,Too.I All around thouht this woman was at least 45.Wow.
So how old is she? She has said several times “i haven’t ate meat in 20 years” so was she a vegetarian as a child?
she's 36 i think. and i vaguely remember her saying that about the meat too, which is weird because she seems to eat meat quite often now
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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TheOneWhoBlogs wrote:I honestly feel awful,I thought Joan was at least 45.She looks AGED.And her voice,Too.I All around thouht this woman was at least 45.Wow.

Wait - how old is she then? I also thought she was late 30s or so?
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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I get nervous every time someone posts in here


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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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trumputin wrote:
fossilfinger wrote:
lmmomSD wrote: they had a room for the breastfeeding moms who work there to go pump in private, and she moped around because she had no baby to pump for, so they put a sign up on the room, honoring Maeve.
It seems as though the whole world arranges itself around her and her grief.
That level of grief is extremely unhealthy and I am surprised her work even tolerated it. What about moms who want to breastfeed but can't? What if there is a dieting support group and Joan can't join it because she doesn't have any postpartum weight to lose? What if a parent calls out of work because their child is sick and Joan thinks she should call out of work because if she had a child she might be sick that day too? There must be a limit to how much other people are willing to tiptoe around her. I'm sure everyone at her job is terrified to tell her "no" about anything at this point.
Right. See, I wish Joan and John the best. I do not discount their grief and that they've been massively struggling. In some ways, I think her sharing her feelings is good. In recent history, miscarriages and stillbirths were not talked about. But, there are lines that have been crossed from my vantage point -- one that is from a woman who has never had a child or been pregnant. So, I'm speaking from a place of inexperience, but I have seen other people in my life (and online) lose a child and they have found much more proactive ways to cope.

I worry about Joan mentally. Like y'all have said, it seems like she feels like if she doesn't do all these extravagant things in Maeve's memory, that she no longer loves her, that it makes Maeve no longer real, and so on. I think a lot of it stems from not wanting to accept the fact that Maeve is in fact dead. She's taken the whole phrase 'living on through your memories and actions' to a whole different level. And it is so, so very tragic and unfair. I totally agree with and acknowledge that. I can't imagine what it must feel like, and therefore I cannot imagine how I would act if I even find myself in that situation.

When watching the house tour video, I couldn't shake how it feels like they live in a mausoleum/shrine of Maeve and what could have (and arguably should have) been. Foxes everywhere. An angel painting that she thinks looks 'just like' Mae, simply because it has reddish hair and curls. At what point do these things become harmful and triggers of rumination instead of helpful and honoring of a loved one? If I lived in constant memory of the traumatic things that have happened to me -- I, too, have PTSD -- I would be so much worse for wear. I'm not saying she shouldn't have some tributes, but it is overwhelming for me to see the reminder everywhere. Her coping is extremely maladaptive, and I'm surprised she has a therapist. She is obsessive in a way that is hurting herself. I really hope she looks for others that perhaps are more experienced with mothers of loss.

I hope they can find happiness and peace soon. It must be so tiring to constantly kind of punish yourself by this maladaptive coping. I'm afraid it will strain their relationship and make themselves co-dependent on each other.

I see other loss couples on YouTube like Rachelle & Justin and Waters' Wife who found outlets for them to get over their loss. And getting over a loss doesn't mean forgetting their child or being a bad parent, Joan. I know that Joan's case is likely even harder due to the fact that her child was full term, and perhaps if she had gone to a regular OB Maeve would be here. I'm sure that she feels a lot of guilt for that, and it is partially why she punishes herself and has taken this so hard. I get that and I feel for them. But these couples are moving on and looking toward the future without keeping a foot in the past.

I know it's complicated, and I know it seems like they don't have the cleanest record of being the most wholesome people in the world with their multiple Go Fund Me's, but I wish them the best and hope they stop lashing themselves over a tragic event. I think it's important for them to find hobbies outside of the 'loss community.' It seems like it's only causing her to fixate on everything more.

The two loss couples you mentioned? Well one was one day over the cut off for miscarriage. I may get flack for this but there is a HUGE difference between losing a baby at 20 weeks and losing a baby full term. Maeve was full term. Rachelle and Justin were 4 1/2 months pregnant. It's hasn't been a year but R&J can't make a yt video without it being depressing and something is always triggering. Her videos focus on the loss each day or her starving cat. She's friends with other yt who are a few French fries short of a happy meal and they've adopted... twice!

She's lucky, she's young and has frozen embryos and has a ton of reproductive years ahead of her. Keep in mind Rachelle is only 22. 22! They went to a fertility doctor when they'd only been married for 10 months and they were 20 years old at the time. Most doctors won't see you until you've been ttc for a year and a half.


Now water's wife is wound really tight I'm sorry. But I can't even bring myself to watch the videos that much because she's so morose even though she has Mallory. She refuses to call her a "rainbow baby" because she doesn't want to give people the impression that Mallory is a replacement for Beckett. WTH? Why would something think that? Makes zero sense whatsoever. And she got pregnant with Mallory pretty soon after considering her weight that's pretty amazing. (No I'm not condemning her for it I just know its harder) I get that you'll always remember Beckett but she does a lot of videos about Beckett still. And they seem down even though they have Mallory. They take his urn a lot of places. They did a smash cake for his 1st birthday and they smashed his urn into the cupcake.


Joan went through a lot they didn't have a cuddle cot for her to use and the nurse was pretty mean. On top of it she became very ill. And then was told her ovarian reserve was down.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

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charmed596 wrote:I get nervous every time someone posts in here


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Same


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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by GymChick »

I’m kinda confused on what John is talking about here with his job. It seems like before he was doing maybe under the table renovations/construction work on people’s houses. Now maybe it’s trying to get a “real” job? But he doesn’t want it? He’s one of those typical entitled white men who don’t understand why they can’t keep a job....either they are too picky and think the job isn good enough, or they don’t get along with the authority and end up being fired or quitting. He admitted himself in one video that he hasn’t been able to hold a job down, I think he mentioned having a job for a couple years and acted like it was a long time. [img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201711 ... 53918a.jpg[/img][img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201711 ... 47e4be.jpg[/img]


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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by HelloSweetie »

I don't know what he's saying either, but he sounds like a douche.

Real men work hard, no matter what the job is or how beneath them they feel it is
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by TheOneWhoBlogs »

I honestly want to watch all of their videos but i dont know if i can sit through Joan's voice sounding so whiny and her forced crying fits.This couple is straight out of a lifetime movie,If i dont see some bare bump shots this pregnancy and she pops up with a kid im gonna be checking the news.
I hate to be that person but something is just SO creepy about her.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

Unread post by lmmomSD »

HelloSweetie wrote:I don't know what he's saying either, but he sounds like a douche.

Real men work hard, no matter what the job is or how beneath them they feel it is Image
"80's fighter pilot" Right. Meaning fighter pilot when we weren't at war. With anyone. No chance of actually being in battle. I would love to see him in the military. Snort. Having to call people sir and ma'am, do as he was told when he was told? Even officers have to obey orders.

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