John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
- flowerpuppy
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
considering how pressed for money they often imply they are and the fact that they have a child on the way, i don't think john's really in a position to be turning down jobs. what's stopping him from taking a non-ideal job in the meantime while continuing to look for one he likes better?
- Boredomatitsfinest
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I feel bad about it, but same. Especially after finding out about their Go Fund Me accounts and what not, I thought for sure that they were some kind of crazy scam artists going to great lengths. HahaTheOneWhoBlogs wrote:I honestly want to watch all of their videos but i dont know if i can sit through Joan's voice sounding so whiny and her forced crying fits.This couple is straight out of a lifetime movie,If i dont see some bare bump shots this pregnancy and she pops up with a kid im gonna be checking the news.
I hate to be that person but something is just SO creepy about her.
I still sincerely hope that everything works out for the best with them, but I just can't get too invested in their lives because she/they honestly kind of freak me out. I don't mean to sound so heartless, she obviously has been through more than anyone should ever have to go through, but I just wasn't ever able to shake the feeling that there's something not right about the two of them.
- lmmomSD
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
And maybe insurance? "Insulting start pay"-- what pay does his Royal Highness think he deserves? I wonder what it really was, and just how "insulting".Blehmieux wrote:considering how pressed for money they often imply they are and the fact that they have a child on the way, i don't think john's really in a position to be turning down jobs. what's stopping him from taking a non-ideal job in the meantime while continuing to look for one he likes better?
Didn't he just want to fix bicycles? I thought I heard Joan say something like that. Doesn't sound very lucrative, but it's a job. She works in a bead shop that lets her take the day off if she's feeling sad, and seems to cater to her whims a lot. Sometimes I wonder what they're going to do if actual parenting doesn't live up to the dream family life of picnics and bicycle rides they have in their heads. She has a rich fantasy life.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I find it odd her job even offers insurance to a part time worker. Most part time jobs I know of either don't offer insurance or do only if you work a minimum amount of hours each week.lmmomSD wrote:And maybe insurance? "Insulting start pay"-- what pay does his Royal Highness think he deserves? I wonder what it really was, and just how "insulting".Blehmieux wrote:considering how pressed for money they often imply they are and the fact that they have a child on the way, i don't think john's really in a position to be turning down jobs. what's stopping him from taking a non-ideal job in the meantime while continuing to look for one he likes better?
Didn't he just want to fix bicycles? I thought I heard Joan say something like that. Doesn't sound very lucrative, but it's a job. She works in a bead shop that lets her take the day off if she's feeling sad, and seems to cater to her whims a lot. Sometimes I wonder what they're going to do if actual parenting doesn't live up to the dream family life of picnics and bicycle rides they have in their heads. She has a rich fantasy life.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
L.I.E. Laziness, Immaturity & EntitlementBlehmieux wrote:considering how pressed for money they often imply they are and the fact that they have a child on the way, i don't think john's really in a position to be turning down jobs. what's stopping him from taking a non-ideal job in the meantime while continuing to look for one he likes better?
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
It just seems very...Wrong... And i honesty would have trouble trusting Maeve ever existing if there where no photos.Once again,I Feel awful for saying it,But this girl is scary.I hope that if she's actually pregnant,This turns out,But if she doesnt do bump shots until the end and she suddenly appears with a kid,Im gonna be very suspicious.Boredomatitsfinest wrote:I feel bad about it, but same. Especially after finding out about their Go Fund Me accounts and what not, I thought for sure that they were some kind of crazy scam artists going to great lengths. HahaTheOneWhoBlogs wrote:I honestly want to watch all of their videos but i dont know if i can sit through Joan's voice sounding so whiny and her forced crying fits.This couple is straight out of a lifetime movie,If i dont see some bare bump shots this pregnancy and she pops up with a kid im gonna be checking the news.
I hate to be that person but something is just SO creepy about her.
I still sincerely hope that everything works out for the best with them, but I just can't get too invested in their lives because she/they honestly kind of freak me out. I don't mean to sound so heartless, she obviously has been through more than anyone should ever have to go through, but I just wasn't ever able to shake the feeling that there's something not right about the two of them.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I literally address this in my post.eab424 wrote:trumputin wrote:Right. See, I wish Joan and John the best. I do not discount their grief and that they've been massively struggling. In some ways, I think her sharing her feelings is good. In recent history, miscarriages and stillbirths were not talked about. But, there are lines that have been crossed from my vantage point -- one that is from a woman who has never had a child or been pregnant. So, I'm speaking from a place of inexperience, but I have seen other people in my life (and online) lose a child and they have found much more proactive ways to cope.fossilfinger wrote: That level of grief is extremely unhealthy and I am surprised her work even tolerated it. What about moms who want to breastfeed but can't? What if there is a dieting support group and Joan can't join it because she doesn't have any postpartum weight to lose? What if a parent calls out of work because their child is sick and Joan thinks she should call out of work because if she had a child she might be sick that day too? There must be a limit to how much other people are willing to tiptoe around her. I'm sure everyone at her job is terrified to tell her "no" about anything at this point.
I worry about Joan mentally. Like y'all have said, it seems like she feels like if she doesn't do all these extravagant things in Maeve's memory, that she no longer loves her, that it makes Maeve no longer real, and so on. I think a lot of it stems from not wanting to accept the fact that Maeve is in fact dead. She's taken the whole phrase 'living on through your memories and actions' to a whole different level. And it is so, so very tragic and unfair. I totally agree with and acknowledge that. I can't imagine what it must feel like, and therefore I cannot imagine how I would act if I even find myself in that situation.
When watching the house tour video, I couldn't shake how it feels like they live in a mausoleum/shrine of Maeve and what could have (and arguably should have) been. Foxes everywhere. An angel painting that she thinks looks 'just like' Mae, simply because it has reddish hair and curls. At what point do these things become harmful and triggers of rumination instead of helpful and honoring of a loved one? If I lived in constant memory of the traumatic things that have happened to me -- I, too, have PTSD -- I would be so much worse for wear. I'm not saying she shouldn't have some tributes, but it is overwhelming for me to see the reminder everywhere. Her coping is extremely maladaptive, and I'm surprised she has a therapist. She is obsessive in a way that is hurting herself. I really hope she looks for others that perhaps are more experienced with mothers of loss.
I hope they can find happiness and peace soon. It must be so tiring to constantly kind of punish yourself by this maladaptive coping. I'm afraid it will strain their relationship and make themselves co-dependent on each other.
I see other loss couples on YouTube like Rachelle & Justin and Waters' Wife who found outlets for them to get over their loss. And getting over a loss doesn't mean forgetting their child or being a bad parent, Joan. I know that Joan's case is likely even harder due to the fact that her child was full term, and perhaps if she had gone to a regular OB Maeve would be here. I'm sure that she feels a lot of guilt for that, and it is partially why she punishes herself and has taken this so hard. I get that and I feel for them. But these couples are moving on and looking toward the future without keeping a foot in the past.
I know it's complicated, and I know it seems like they don't have the cleanest record of being the most wholesome people in the world with their multiple Go Fund Me's, but I wish them the best and hope they stop lashing themselves over a tragic event. I think it's important for them to find hobbies outside of the 'loss community.' It seems like it's only causing her to fixate on everything more.
The two loss couples you mentioned? Well one was one day over the cut off for miscarriage. I may get flack for this but there is a HUGE difference between losing a baby at 20 weeks and losing a baby full term. Maeve was full term. Rachelle and Justin were 4 1/2 months pregnant. It's hasn't been a year but R&J can't make a yt video without it being depressing and something is always triggering. Her videos focus on the loss each day or her starving cat. She's friends with other yt who are a few French fries short of a happy meal and they've adopted... twice!
She's lucky, she's young and has frozen embryos and has a ton of reproductive years ahead of her. Keep in mind Rachelle is only 22. 22! They went to a fertility doctor when they'd only been married for 10 months and they were 20 years old at the time. Most doctors won't see you until you've been ttc for a year and a half.
Now water's wife is wound really tight I'm sorry. But I can't even bring myself to watch the videos that much because she's so morose even though she has Mallory. She refuses to call her a "rainbow baby" because she doesn't want to give people the impression that Mallory is a replacement for Beckett. WTH? Why would something think that? Makes zero sense whatsoever. And she got pregnant with Mallory pretty soon after considering her weight that's pretty amazing. (No I'm not condemning her for it I just know its harder) I get that you'll always remember Beckett but she does a lot of videos about Beckett still. And they seem down even though they have Mallory. They take his urn a lot of places. They did a smash cake for his 1st birthday and they smashed his urn into the cupcake.
Joan went through a lot they didn't have a cuddle cot for her to use and the nurse was pretty mean. On top of it she became very ill. And then was told her ovarian reserve was down.
- lmmomSD
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I really don't think anyone here wants Joan to suffer any more than she has. I am reasonably sure that even though some of us find some of the fundraising to be sketchy, we all want the best for them.
But. There is some really dysfunctional grieving going on. I worry about the child being brought into that dysfunction. Is he or she ever going to be able to live up to Maeve's imaginary life? What if the kid has feeding or sleeping problems, or colic? She has Maeve built into this perfect child that no real child could possibly live up to.
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But. There is some really dysfunctional grieving going on. I worry about the child being brought into that dysfunction. Is he or she ever going to be able to live up to Maeve's imaginary life? What if the kid has feeding or sleeping problems, or colic? She has Maeve built into this perfect child that no real child could possibly live up to.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I’m nervous for today, her appt is at 10:40.....I’m expecting the worst hoping for the best.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I feel like she would have posted a happy post about hearing the heartbeat by now
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
She could just be writing a long and poetic post.gymchick43 wrote:I feel like she would have posted a happy post about hearing the heartbeat by now
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Also, I hope he didn't wear this to the appt...
[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201711 ... 4d427e.jpg[/img]
Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201711 ... f754f1.jpg[/img] I thiiiink it went well? If it hadn’t I doubt she would be coherent enough to edit a video for YouTube.
Maybe wishful thinking, but I really hope this goes well for them.
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Maybe wishful thinking, but I really hope this goes well for them.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
The YouTube comment was made before she went in for her apptjspo97 wrote:[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201711 ... f754f1.jpg[/img] I thiiiink it went well? If it hadn’t I doubt she would be coherent enough to edit a video for YouTube.
Maybe wishful thinking, but I really hope this goes well for them.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I’m literally such a stalker tit now but I’m home sick from work so I’m bored lol. She followed a baby/pregnancy ig account so I think it’s good news. She’s the type who unfollows anything related to pregnancy when she has bad news.
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- lmmomSD
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
Fingers crossed!gymchick43 wrote:I’m literally such a stalker tit now but I’m home sick from work so I’m bored lol. She followed a baby/pregnancy ig account so I think it’s good news. She’s the type who unfollows anything related to pregnancy when she has bad news.
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- kittypurry
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I think (& hope) you’re right, it’s an account for the app she uses to create the “baby is the size of a _____” photos she posts. I agree she wouldn’t follow that if she just got bad news. I wish she would post a quick pic or comment that everything is fine instead of waiting to put up a video tonight, but maybe that’s my own impatience talking lolgymchick43 wrote:I’m literally such a stalker tit now but I’m home sick from work so I’m bored lol. She followed a baby/pregnancy ig account so I think it’s good news. She’s the type who unfollows anything related to pregnancy when she has bad news.
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Re: John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)
I'm still so confused as to where they are getting the money to live and support themselves. The woman works in a bead shop pt and the man does random odd jobs when he wants too?
How are they paying for everything including that house and land they own.
How are they paying for everything including that house and land they own.