Edenberry, your situation is much more understandable imo. I think that really wanting to start your family, having a plan, and knowing that you can make it work is different than already having not one, not two, but three children, and planning and trying for a 4th while unemployed and unable to afford enough space in your home. To me, that just seems crazy and selfish to put your children and future child in that situation.Edenberry wrote:It's not always the best situation, but that was our case when we first got married. My husband was finishing his Civil Engineering degree (final semester), I was working full time as a Medical Assistant while also finishing class in the evenings for my certification. We knew we wanted children immediately (we were 25 at the time) and knew we would make it work. We had a small apt, low rent, minimal bills (no cable, phones, car payments, etc), so my salary paid our bills. My husband had a guaranteed job when he graduated, so we knew that was coming before our daughter was born. If you plan responsibly and work within your budget, a family is possible in a low income situation. We don't take on debt we can't afford to pay off immediately. I had health insurance that paid for the prenatal and birth, low deductible, and we qualified for some discounts based on income at the time. We managed and managed well.glamour1225 wrote: I️ will never understand people PLANNING (more) kids when one partner still in school working towards their goal job and neither partner has stable, sufficient income to support them. Donate plasma? That makes me sad because if you have to be doing that to afford Christmas maybe wait to have kids/ more kids.
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We're in a much better financial situation now, 7 years later, and had we not planned as we did, we wouldn't be where we are now.
However...I know the above is the exception to the rule. A lot of people don't think that far ahead and wind up in a rut.
It's been discussed that E+J were TTC their first when they could only afford potatoes for food for the week (I might be exaggerating a bit there...but that's not too far off...lol), but I'm also more willing to be sympathetic in that situation because I understand wanting to start your family and knowing that you'll be able to make it work. (I still side eye them for that though, while I don't side eye your story at all.) But in both Julie and Ruby's cases, continuing to TTC multiple children when you clearly can't afford it is just something I will never be able to rationalize.
