Playsinrain wrote:I want to add to the debate on whether Ellie favors Cal more than Jacks.. disclaimer: (lol) I only watch E&J mayyyybe once a week, sometimes less, sometimes more depending on what is being talked about here. So keep in mind that its harder for me to pick up on patterns ect with their behavior.
Just watching as infrequently as I do, the one thing that really disturbs me about Ellie is her lack in ability to praise Jackson when he deserves it. I've seen it several times but the most recent and the one that really scorched my hide is the vlog a few weeks back where they took the boys ice skating. I talked about it then as well, but look back at it if you really don't think she favors Calvin over Jackson. She REFUSES to talk about how well Jackson did and immediately turns it into Calvin being the best. While they are at the rink she gushes about how well Calvin did (the kid was in sneakers walking on the ice with a walker...) and throws in Jackson as an after thought (who was a natural at it like pretty much every physical activity he tries). "I want to come back when Calvin gets older." as in she cant just take Jackson since he is old enough and can really enjoy it, its GOT to be all about Calvin. Later, at the end of the vlog Jared starts talking about how great Jackson did and Ellie immediately turns the conversation on Calvin, he was just amazing bc he loves to talk to and kiss strangers.. She dismisses everything Jackson excels at and throws a freaking party for Calvin if he claps his hands. Maybe i don't watch enough to see her dote and brag on Jackson, but ive never really seen it. He does not get the praise he deserves from his mother, and that WILL be damaging to him as he gets older. Sure kids don't need a trophy for wiping their noses, but give a kid praise when he deserves it! We all know how everything has to be about Ellie.. all the time, and i have wondered if she see's Calvin as an extension of herself. If the attention cant be on her, then it better be on Calvin bc he's an extension of Ellie. Jackson has been pushed away for Calvin. Jackson will be trying to gain his mothers approval his entire life while Calvin won't have to lift a finger and will be the golden child bc Ellie has some weird attachment to him. All mothers should be attached to their children, yes, but when it the attachment is so strong that you start projecting your own issues on the to child it becomes an issue. Not only for the child but for siblings and partners too. I can see Ellie jumping on Jared off camera for giving Jackson too much praise.
Yes, this! 100% Jackson is treated like he's Jared's child, whereas Calvin is hers. His attention is HER attention too. Anytime Jackson gets any sort of recognition, she uses Calvin to steal the limelight away. This is a common tool of Narcissist mothers. Thing is, the Golden Child is easily replaceable, so if she gets her daughter, then Cal is going to find himself hanging out with his brother. At least then, Jackson might not grow up thinking it's just him.
Jared needs to grow a pair of balls and realize they don't need to bring anymore children or pets into that mess. He has his hands full raising his wife-child, two boys and now Penny. If something were to ever happen to him, or if he ever had to return to a 40 hr a week job, they would not be ok. Ellie can't handle life as an adult with two children. Not even close.