J Squared

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J Squared

Unread post by Vincere »

This is the tread were we are so desperate we write fanfiction about Jared and Joel: J Squared.
Everyone posts a sentence/paragraph continuing from the previous one and we'll see where the story will lead.
The premise is: Jared loves Joel and he marries Ellie to be closer to him.

___

It was all over faster than he anticipated: Mr and Ms Mecham.


Standing next to it you could feel the mighty glory of the temple.
It's height was casting a shadow on the whole scene, while the cold wind was keeping Jared from sweating.
Finally out of the temple he was able to breath again, thinking if it was the right step and looking to his right thinking that he doesn't know the person who's hand he holds.
But Ellie was smiling, and so was her whole family witnessing the event.
He couldn't look her into the eyes, he was looking for someone else.
And there he was, blue eyed with a childish smile, Joel was holding Bonnie's hand and Jared clinched her hand squeezing Ellie's a little harder.
Jared was only hoping that their eyes would meet but it wasn't the case, and everything was moving faster than he wanted.
He smiled, knowing that this sacrifice was necessary and that he will feel the love at some point.

The day passed by and now he awakes next to his wife...
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by lmmomSD »

She turned to him and smiled. "Don't worry, honey. My mom said sex wasn't much fun. We'll get better at it and make lots of babies, and everything will be SO FUN!"
He nodded, not trusting his voice and went into the bathroom of their honeymoon suite. He looked at himself in the mirror and took deep gulping breaths. He could do this. It would be worth it.

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Re: J Squared

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While looking in the mirror he practiced mouthing the word 'Honey' several times. He tried to smile while doing this but couldn't manage to make the smile look natural. He decided to drop the smile bit and on returning to the boudoir asked Ellie ''Honey, what time are we meeting your sister and Joel (his voice cracked slightly with the mere excitement of saying his loved one's name out loud) for lunch today?'' (He'd somehow managed to persuade Ellie to agree to this lunch date the day after their wedding because, obviously in Jared's heart, Joel was who Jared had said all his vows to. He made a mental note to buy Ellie a $10,000 gift card for Lush Bath Bombs.)
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Scar2016 »

Oops, I just realized I skipped over the wedding night, sorry Immom. Maybe one of us can do it as a flashback (because it was too traumatic for Jared lol) hence why we missed it out of the timeline proper? :)
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Re: J Squared

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The lunch date was everything he had hoped for, and more. Seeing Joel just an arm's length away in their booth at Texas Roadhouse was enough to give him butterflies in his stomach and simultaneously convince him that the marriage had been worthwhile after all. The world kept turning - Ellie and Bonnie chatted excitedly about cosmetics, but Jared's eyes were on Joel's hands as he competently cut into his 6 oz sirloin lunch special. It was so easy to forget the previous evening's marital trauma with Joel so close, smelling of Old Spice even through the scent of charred beef. Jared couldn't help but imagine squeezing Joel's bicep gently and staring into the endless blue pools of his eyes. He was certain it would all have gone so differently if his first time had been with his one true love. Joel would never have emasculated him, or asked if it was in yet, or told him to get on with it because The Bachelor started in 5 minutes. Joel also would have let him have his own plate at restaurants, he thought with irritation as Ellie swiped a bite of steak from his plate. Suddenly he realized everyone was staring at him expectantly. He assumed he'd been asked a question, but his mind had been elsewhere. He smiled his biggest smile, grabbed Ellie's hand, and said "wow, this is SO FUN! It's such a blessing that we're all family now!"
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Re: J Squared

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RecklessDisregard wrote:The lunch date was everything he had hoped for, and more. Seeing Joel just an arm's length away in their booth at Texas Roadhouse was enough to give him butterflies in his stomach and simultaneously convince him that the marriage had been worthwhile after all. The world kept turning - Ellie and Bonnie chatted excitedly about cosmetics, but Jared's eyes were on Joel's hands as he competently cut into his 6 oz sirloin lunch special. It was so easy to forget the previous evening's marital trauma with Joel so close, smelling of Old Spice even through the scent of charred beef. Jared couldn't help but imagine squeezing Joel's bicep gently and staring into the endless blue pools of his eyes. He was certain it would all have gone so differently if his first time had been with his one true love. Joel would never have emasculated him, or asked if it was in yet, or told him to get on with it because The Bachelor started in 5 minutes. Joel also would have let him have his own plate at restaurants, he thought with irritation as Ellie swiped a bite of steak from his plate. Suddenly he realized everyone was staring at him expectantly. He assumed he'd been asked a question, but his mind had been elsewhere. He smiled his biggest smile, grabbed Ellie's hand, and said "wow, this is SO FUN! It's such a blessing that we're all family now!"
Oh my, I laughed out loud! :D :D

Before Jared let go of Ellie's hand he made a mental note to buy some Old Spice for himself. That way, not only would he have a daily reminder of his true love, but when Joel finally realized he felt the same way and they could be together for the first time, Ellie would be void of any suspicion. Jared couldn't resist and so he bravely and slowly inched his booted foot under the table towards Joel's and the tip of his boot grazed Joel's manly shoe. The hand made leather manly shoe Bonnie gave Joel for Xmas. A tingle ran down Jared's spine as he whispered a silent thank you to Bonnie, for both those mighty fine shoes and for finding a man like Joel (for him).
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Reckless, you rule!

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Re: J Squared

Unread post by RecklessDisregard »

:D This is fun!
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Re: J Squared

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Just then, Jared's daydreams of his life with Joel cane to an end when the waitress interrupted. "Here's your Dr. Pepper, miss." The waitress handed the drink to Ellie by mistake. Ellie loudly sighed and said, "excuse me, you..." without noticing that the waitress had already left the table. Jared exchanged glances with Bonnie because he knew what was about to happen. He thought, why couldn't I marry an easy going person like Joel? They'd laugh and sip their sodas while exchanging flirtatious glances. Jared felt his wallet to see how many bills he had. He knew he'd be stopping at Lush on the way home. This was not so fun.
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Re: J Squared

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Fueled with desire from their bromantic trip to Bryan's birthday bash, Jared set about creating the perfect night for him and Joel. How could he ever forget how soft Joely's face felt, after gifting him that barber shop treatment. Just the thought of when he stroked Joel's face in the vlog made him all a quiver. He even made a gif of it and filed it in his secret desktop file: ''Ellie's birthday gift ideas,'' that way Ellie would never open it and find out, because she loved surprises. He smiled smugly to himself, in acknowledgement of how clever he was.

Jared had become quite accustomed to waxing lyrical at the end of the vlog's lately, about how perfect his life was and how lucky he truly felt. But he never imagined things could get even better, and that Ellie would be on a girls trip to Hawaii with none other than Bonnie!!! ''YEEE HAAA!!!'' He squealed with unbridled excitement and anticipation, in the shower on the morning of (Joel's) the Hoellein kidses sleepover.

He'd stocked up on Dr Pepper and that super strength apple cider for Joel, and formed an image in his head of them sipping romantically in the hot tub that night under the Utah stars, once the kidses were all asleep. Heck, he'd even asked to borrow Joel's trailer and did a special trip to the Lush store to get a double load of bath bombs, one load for Ellie when she returned home and one load to put in the hot tub tonight for him and his Joely.
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by lmmomSD »

That was awesome (and skeevy, lol) but are we starting from the beginning of the marriage, or writing about now? Not trying to be a pain. Your chapter was really great, Scar. Just wondering if we are going on from now, or from the earlier posts.

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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Scar2016 »

lmmomSD wrote:That was awesome (and skeevy, lol) but are we starting from the beginning of the marriage, or writing about now? Not trying to be a pain. Your chapter was really great, Scar. Just wondering if we are going on from now, or from the earlier posts.
Thanks. :) I've no idea what we're doing tbh lol. I just thought it amusing to do a parallel storyline alongside the real *faux* life vlogs but I'm open to whatever. :tchin: <--- Apple cider!
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Scar2016 wrote:
lmmomSD wrote:That was awesome (and skeevy, lol) but are we starting from the beginning of the marriage, or writing about now? Not trying to be a pain. Your chapter was really great, Scar. Just wondering if we are going on from now, or from the earlier posts.
Thanks. :) I've no idea what we're doing tbh lol. I just thought it amusing to do a parallel storyline alongside the real *faux* life vlogs but I'm open to whatever. :tchin: <--- Apple cider!
I don't know what we're doing either. Just to be clear, I meant no snark, because I definitely lol'd!

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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Vincere »

I think doing a continuous story line is too difficult.
So maybe as Scar did, doing parallel stories on vlogs, or "behind the camera" stories would be easier, funner and more relevant.
Or your just make whatever you want, don't wanna be the one that imposes rules.

Maybe we should have Chapter titles to the stories/posts and whenever we contribute we know which story we advance.

Any suggestions always welcome.
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by lmmomSD »

That's a good idea! And will probably be easier and more relevant, like you said.

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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Scar2016 »

lmmomSD wrote:I don't know what we're doing either. Just to be clear, I meant no snark, because I definitely lol'd!
No snark taken at all. It's all good. :tu:
PS: A behind the camera story line could be the one you saw on Jared's livestream, about the dog being wild and escaping from the house etc. The real not_so_perfect life, lol. ;)
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Re: J Squared

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It was perfect. Jackson was asleep downstairs along with the Hoellein kids. Calvin was crying in his crib, but there was nothing unusual about that, and nothing Jared could say or do would shut the kid up. "Maybe his real dad could help," he muttered under his breath, knowing Ellie hadn't allowed him to touch her within weeks of the estimated conception date. But Jared had played the part of the dutiful husband and never asked who the real father was. Truth be told, he hadn't cared then and didn't care now either.

Jared had sent Joel out ahead of him to the hot tub with a variety of Lush bombs and sparkling cider, mostly so he could peek through the window as his nearly-naked brother in-law first dipped a toe in the warm water, then his foot, then a shapely calf --

"Jared, WAKE UP!" Ellie said through gritted teeth. "You wake up right this minute!"

Jared sat up quickly, adjusting the blanket to hide his erection. "What the Hello Kitty do you want?" he whispered in response. He knew what it -wasn't- which was just fine with him. He was pretty sure she hadn't bathed in three days. Then he heard Penny's muted whimper through the closed door.

"You said you would put her outside for the night! Are you a toddler, that I have to check up on your work? I swear, neither of the kidses are as much of a pain in the bum as you! Not even that little hellion Jackson."

"Ellie, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, feeling around for his slippers. At least he didn't have to hide the erection anymore; it had deflated like a popped balloon when Ellie's reprimand began. "It's just so cold outside, and Penny is only a puppy, a baby dog."

"She will stay OUTSIDE!" Ellie screeched. Calvin began to wail. "The next time I catch her inside after bedtime, you are going to sleep outside with her! I don't want to see you again tonight, you sleep on the couch!"

Jared was halfway out the door, and paused only to check the time. 9:37 pm. Good, at least he had plenty of time to finish that dream...
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by GetYouTubesTied »

"What the hello kitty?"

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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Ceirsten8676 »

I'm living for this thread!!


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Re: J Squared

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''Come on Pen Pen'' Jared sighed with pent up frustration at being woken from his reverie as he went through the bedroom door and led Penny to the patio door and let her out into the freezing cold night air to go potty. He decided he may as well do some editing now, seeing as his brain was up and his willy was down. He recalled leaving the camera in the basement and on retrieving it realized it was still switched on. ''Hmmm, that's strange'' he thought.

He made his way back upstairs to let Penny back in and they both went and settled in his office, where Jared took out a secret stash of doggy treats for Penny and a family sized packet of cookies and milk from his office fridge for himself. He checked through the days footage on the camera and suddenly, pressed the pause button and exclaimed ''Gosh darn it! What the Jiminy Cricket is THAT?!''

It seemed the camera was still rolling when Ellie had snuck downstairs earlier that evening to Jackson's under_the_stairs kitchen. She was sitting hunched over like a Leprechaun in all her demented and unfettered madness, scoffing away on plastic cupcakes and pizza slices. Jared wanted to stop watching but couldn't. His wife looked like a rabid wild banshee, her teeth chomping away ferociously on everything in sight. ''Fiddle sticks and color me Lady Gaga'' he thought, ''Those teeth are bigger than the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood.''
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