Bonnie and Joel: Not Every Day Is A Rational Day (Part 9)

[AutumnLane]

She didn't say I don't want to disappoint Dad, or mention being disappointed she couldn't go through with it. Olivia specifically mentioned again making her mother upset.

The description today was also disturbing. Basically saying Olivia ruined everybody's fun and now they couldn't go out to dinner or do any of the fun things they had planned because Olivia changed her mind. They basically punished her. Can you imagine that ride home for Olivia. Then when they got home it sounded like they sent Olivia to her room to clean it as further punishment.

Get over it Mother Dearest she changed her mind and got nervous. Tell her it's alright buy her some stick on earrings and enjoy a meal out together. Bonnie probably threw a tantrum all the way home.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[lmmomSD]

And that thumbnail and description. Fail! Worst experience ever! I mean, really? Dramatic much? Especially when her aunt just died of _cancer_. I'm sure Olivia is really going to appreciate all these crying thumbnails when she's older.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk

[HelloSweetie]

She didn't say I don't want to disappoint Dad, or mention being disappointed she couldn't go through with it. Olivia specifically mentioned again making her mother upset.

The description today was also disturbing. Basically saying Olivia ruined everybody's fun and now they couldn't go out to dinner or do any of the fun things they had planned because Olivia changed her mind. They basically punished her. Can you imagine that ride home for Olivia. Then when they got home it sounded like they sent Olivia to her room to clean it as further punishment.

Get over it Mother Dearest she changed her mind and got nervous. Tell her it's alright buy her some stick on earrings and enjoy a meal out together. Bonnie probably threw a tantrum all the way home.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Honest question. Have you had a child have a panic attack about something? It's incredibly hard to not get frustrated. It's even harder when you are trying to do something as a treat for them, and it somehow dissolves into a meltdown. Sure, as parents we shouldn't have expectations about how a moment should go. Sure we should be mature enough to not get annoyed that our child just cost $100 for nothing, but it's hard. I'd be lying if I said I didn't know exactly how Bonnie felt in that moment.

[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201702 ... 4f2d58.jpg[/img]

Edited to add the actual description. I don't read the same context from it at all.

[Scar2016]

She didn't say I don't want to disappoint Dad, or mention being disappointed she couldn't go through with it. Olivia specifically mentioned again making her mother upset.

^ This.

[Parkerwar]

Today is one of the days when I ask myself why I'm paying for this woman's life. How horrible to plaster your child crying and being scared on the internet. The fact that Olivia was scared of Bonnie being mad says a lot to me about that home when the cameras are off.

Then she has to call her mom to get advice on how not to be mad at her scared child? Just shook my head through the entire thing. They have lost their way.

[Scar2016]

(Too late to edit)

Bonnie doesn't just wear the pants in that house, she's the matriach. And as such, she holds the power and Bonnie get's off on that. It's fascinating watching her non verbal leakage, eg; her body language and facial expression when sat in the chair at Claire's. Bonnie uses fear as a parenting tool and she enjoy's that particular tool a little too much, given how she laughs at her children's vulnerable and/or painful moments, among other more subtle observations.

[tratra58]

And that thumbnail and description. Fail! Worst experience ever! I mean, really? Dramatic much? Especially when her aunt just died of _cancer_. I'm sure Olivia is really going to appreciate all these crying thumbnails when she's older.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk

Joel needs to stop writing titles and thumbnail descriptions for many many reasons.

[IceCreamCone]

She didn't say I don't want to disappoint Dad, or mention being disappointed she couldn't go through with it. Olivia specifically mentioned again making her mother upset.

The description today was also disturbing. Basically saying Olivia ruined everybody's fun and now they couldn't go out to dinner or do any of the fun things they had planned because Olivia changed her mind. They basically punished her. Can you imagine that ride home for Olivia. Then when they got home it sounded like they sent Olivia to her room to clean it as further punishment.

Get over it Mother Dearest she changed her mind and got nervous. Tell her it's alright buy her some stick on earrings and enjoy a meal out together. Bonnie probably threw a tantrum all the way home.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Honest question. Have you had a child have a panic attack about something? It's incredibly hard to not get frustrated.

Edited to add the actual description. I don't read the same context from it at all.

Lol. Well that's not at all as described. Other than the grammar and style, there is nothing wrong with this description.

All parents have an expectation about how things will go at least occasionally. Any parent that says they wouldn't is either being dishonest with themselves, or is the most perfect person ever.

I read here before watching the vlog, and what o saw was definitely different from what many other have. I saw tons of empathy coming from Bonnie. I didn't see pushing at all. She sat quietly and left it up to Olivia. The struggle that Olivia was having was within herself. I'm a people pleaser, yet I didn't have a "mommy dearest" that's for sure! I guess maybe some of us see it differently because we identify with that mindset and realize how natural (though at times dysfunctional) it can be.

[IceCreamCone]

(Too late to edit)

Bonnie doesn't just wear the pants in that house, she's the matriach. And as such, she holds the power and Bonnie get's off on that. It's fascinating watching her non verbal leakage, eg; her body language and facial expression when sat in the chair at Claire's. Bonnie uses fear as a parenting tool and she enjoy's that particular tool a little too much, given how she laughs at her children's vulnerable and/or painful moments, among other more subtle observations.

Are you serious? Bonnie was fine in the chair. You do realize that when the camera was off they probably asked Olivia if that would help and she must have said yes, just like when she said she wanted to do it again after they were on the way out. Bonnie needs to start vlogging these whole incidents since people will infer all sorts of threats and trickery, or she needs to just give a quick recap after and leave the footage out. I like the relatable footage because it makes me feel like a more normal parent because life isn't perfect. Reading here however, makes me feel like a total failure among all you other perfect parents . If you'd honestly not be upset that your child just made you waste $100 and make a public scene then I really think you're lying to yourself. All this grabs talk about Bonnie's reactions are ridiculous and as inaccurate as the description breakdown someone gave earlier.

But I get it. You want to paint a more extreme picture and make things sound worse for those that don't. Other to watch the vlog.

To anyone lurking.... just watch and decide for yourself.

[HelloSweetie]

I'll just agree to disagree with everyone. I think, according to how we've learned to handle our child's anxiety in moments just like these, they handled it properly. I hope if anyone reading here ever has a child go full panic attack like that, they will at least try to help the child work though the problem too, rather than just immediately avoid it. I've seen the real life consequences of letting your child escape from everything that is hard and fearful, and it's really bad. Self- confidence is the best remedy for anxiety. I hope Olivia tries to get her ears pierced again and succeeds. Now that she knows what to expect and can visualize it, I suspect she might do much better.... just not right away.

It makes sense to me that Olivia mentioned disappointing her mother because the agreement was made with her. *shrugs* My son does martial arts with his dad and this is a shared interest between just the two of them. Naturally he has a fear of disappointing his dad when it comes to this and not me. It has nothing to do with anything his dad says/does. It's all a need to please the parent that shares that common interest. I guess I'll just agree to disagree on this as well, I'm getting the impression that I too must be a domineering parent since my husband acquiesces to many of my decisions as well. That doesn't mean there also isn't a mutual respect between us, or that he's afraid of me. He knows his limitations as I know mine. A man that can step back and recognize that really isn't weak at all IMO. Theres a difference between being "whipped" and just respecting your wife's opinion.

[Scar2016]

Are you serious?

Yes, I am. There are nuances that some people are not able to pick up on. I'll leave it there.

[PostyMcPosterston]

HelloSweetie- correct me if I'm totally misremembering, but weren't you the one saying you don't think Olivia suffers with anxiety, rather she just had a bad habit of skin-picking? I seriously feel like it was you comparing your experience with your own anxiety and your older son's anxiety. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I personally didn't like either reaction. Olivia came off as annoying, but she's 7 and was really scared. It's unfortunate that she's worried about her mother's anger. Bonnie was clearly ticked off, and even said she was fuming. So much so that she called her own mother to decide how to handle the situation. Was Bonnie thinking of PUNISHING Olivia?!?!

I agree with whoever said that it seems like Bonnie was punishing Olivia by making her clean her room.

How stupid and avoidable was this drama? 40 minutes of dealing with a resistant child for getting her ears pierced. The REWARD for "breaking a bad habit." After a couple tries, GTFO, go have dinner and let Olivia have time to gather her thoughts and feelings.

I still consider myself a fan of Bonnie and Joel, but I'll tell you... I have changed some of my parenting that I thought was funny that everyone disliked Bonnie and Ellie for (or at least criticized), while I'd do the same wacky shit. It's opened my eyes to really respecting my children, opposed to treating the kids as "my property and I can do what I want. I'm their mom!"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[tratra58]

(Too late to edit)

Bonnie doesn't just wear the pants in that house, she's the matriach. And as such, she holds the power and Bonnie get's off on that. It's fascinating watching her non verbal leakage, eg; her body language and facial expression when sat in the chair at Claire's. Bonnie uses fear as a parenting tool and she enjoy's that particular tool a little too much, given how she laughs at her children's vulnerable and/or painful moments, among other more subtle observations.

You get this all from a vlog. I don't think Bonnie is perfect, but I don't think she is that bad and laughs a lot at almost anything. I also think many women are a strong force in a family and this isn't a bad thing. You also need to look at their culture with traditional families in Utah. To judge this harshly is too much, in my opinion, and their children seem to be happy well behaved children.

What I see is a stricter parent than some these days and they have clear consequences. I may not agree with all of them, but they are the parents. It is also harder to parent this way since it is much easier to give in. In the end, they will have a much easier teen years with kids who know if they do something wrong they will have consequences.

Bonnie went against what she thought was right with Olivia and nail biting and gave her a reward. I give her credit for change. She also more or less admitted after calling mom she needed to calm down which she did when talking to Olivia.

I guess I am an imperfect parent like Bonnie.

[PostyMcPosterston]

I'll just agree to disagree with everyone. I think, according to how we've learned to handle our child's anxiety in moments just like these, they handled it properly. I hope if anyone reading here ever has a child go full panic attack like that, they will at least try to help the child work though the problem too, rather than just immediately avoid it. I've seen the real life consequences of letting your child escape from everything that is hard and fearful, and it's really bad. Self- confidence is the best remedy for anxiety. I hope Olivia tries to get her ears pierced again and succeeds. Now that she knows what to expect and can visualize it, I suspect she might do much better.... just not right away.

It makes sense to me that Olivia mentioned disappointing her mother because the agreement was made with her. *shrugs* My son does martial arts with his dad and this is a shared interest between just the two of them. Naturally he has a fear of disappointing his dad when it comes to this and not me. It has nothing to do with anything his dad says/does. It's all a need to please the parent that shares that common interest. I guess I'll just agree to disagree on this as well, I'm getting the impression that I too must be a domineering parent since my husband acquiesces to many of my decisions as well. That doesn't mean there also isn't a mutual respect between us, or that he's afraid of me. He knows his limitations as I know mine. A man that can step back and recognize that really isn't weak at all IMO. Theres a difference between being "whipped" and just respecting your wife's opinion.

Ack, I was typing my post while you posted this. Please don't take what I said about my change in parenting as anything to do with what you said about your own parenting. Because I don't think of you as someone who treats your children as property. It seems you have very in-tuned with your children. And your criticisms I've seen toward Ellie solidifies that even further.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[flowerpuppy]

i feel like if you're making 6 figures off broadcasting your (unconsenting) children's lives to the world you should at least have the decency not to show the most vulnerable parts, like olivia absolutely freaking out in the chair. they are really showing a lack of respect for the kids (esp olivia lately) by putting these moments on the internet for any person to see/save/judge.

bonnie's body language in the chair was scary to me, and the fact that she told olivia she was being "naughty", as if she was just deciding to be difficult with the piercers because she felt mischievous and not because she was in a state of panic, really rubbed me the wrong way. no wonder she has so much worry about making bonnie mad; even her unintentional/uncontrollable fear is bad behaviour to bonnie.

and don't worry too much about the money wasted on the earrings... she'll make it back by using the clickbait of olivia's crying face


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[PostyMcPosterston]

She didn't say I don't want to disappoint Dad, or mention being disappointed she couldn't go through with it. Olivia specifically mentioned again making her mother upset.

The description today was also disturbing. Basically saying Olivia ruined everybody's fun and now they couldn't go out to dinner or do any of the fun things they had planned because Olivia changed her mind. They basically punished her. Can you imagine that ride home for Olivia. Then when they got home it sounded like they sent Olivia to her room to clean it as further punishment.

Get over it Mother Dearest she changed her mind and got nervous. Tell her it's alright buy her some stick on earrings and enjoy a meal out together. Bonnie probably threw a tantrum all the way home.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Honest question. Have you had a child have a panic attack about something? It's incredibly hard to not get frustrated.

Edited to add the actual description. I don't read the same context from it at all.

Lol. Well that's not at all as described. Other than the grammar and style, there is nothing wrong with this description.

All parents have an expectation about how things will go at least occasionally. Any parent that says they wouldn't is either being dishonest with themselves, or is the most perfect person ever.

I read here before watching the vlog, and what o saw was definitely different from what many other have. I saw tons of empathy coming from Bonnie. I didn't see pushing at all. She sat quietly and left it up to Olivia. The struggle that Olivia was having was within herself. I'm a people pleaser, yet I didn't have a "mommy dearest" that's for sure! I guess maybe some of us see it differently because we identify with that mindset and realize how natural (though at times dysfunctional) it can be.

Bonnie said she was fuming. How many times has she said she can't hide her emotions? Olivia is a smart girl. She knew her mom was pissed. And I absolutely think Bonnie has every right to be pissed, I'd have been annoyed and disappointed, but I would have moved on a lot quicker than 40 mins and treated her to dinner plans like they already had.

All she had to do was, "that's okay Olivia, maybe we can come back for your birthday. lets go to dinner! I bet dessert will cheer ya up!"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HelloSweetie]

HelloSweetie- correct me if I'm totally misremembering, but weren't you the one saying you don't think Olivia suffers with anxiety, rather she just had a bad habit of skin-picking? I seriously feel like it was you comparing your experience with your own anxiety and your older son's anxiety. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I personally didn't like either reaction. Olivia came off as annoying, but she's 7 and was really scared. It's unfortunate that she's worried about her mother's anger. Bonnie was clearly ticked off, and even said she was fuming. So much so that she called her own mother to decide how to handle the situation. Was Bonnie thinking of PUNISHING Olivia?!?!

I agree with whoever said that it seems like Bonnie was punishing Olivia by making her clean her room.

How stupid and avoidable was this drama? 40 minutes of dealing with a resistant child for getting her ears pierced. The REWARD for "breaking a bad habit." After a couple tries, GTFO, go have dinner and let Olivia have time to gather her thoughts and feelings.

I still consider myself a fan of Bonnie and Joel, but I'll tell you... I have changed some of my parenting that I thought was funny that everyone disliked Bonnie and Ellie for (or at least criticized), while I'd do the same wacky shit. It's opened my eyes to really respecting my children, opposed to treating the kids as "my property and I can do what I want. I'm their mom!"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I was. For me we had no proof that anxiety was causing her nail biting because we weren't seeing her in that moment and her own description was that "she was bored."

What I saw in the vlog was absolutely a panic attack to a reasonable stimuli. Most kids, not just those that run anxious, would be fearful of a new experience like this. Especially if they had just seen other children screaming about it.

There is problem anxiety and natural anxiety. What I was arguing about was that we have no evidence that Olivia is an otherwise anxious person. She absolutely was anxious in the ear piecing moment.

[tratra58]

I'll just agree to disagree with everyone. I think, according to how we've learned to handle our child's anxiety in moments just like these, they handled it properly. I hope if anyone reading here ever has a child go full panic attack like that, they will at least try to help the child work though the problem too, rather than just immediately avoid it. I've seen the real life consequences of letting your child escape from everything that is hard and fearful, and it's really bad. Self- confidence is the best remedy for anxiety. I hope Olivia tries to get her ears pierced again and succeeds. Now that she knows what to expect and can visualize it, I suspect she might do much better.... just not right away.

It makes sense to me that Olivia mentioned disappointing her mother because the agreement was made with her. *shrugs* My son does martial arts with his dad and this is a shared interest between just the two of them. Naturally he has a fear of disappointing his dad when it comes to this and not me. It has nothing to do with anything his dad says/does. It's all a need to please the parent that shares that common interest. I guess I'll just agree to disagree on this as well, I'm getting the impression that I too must be a domineering parent since my husband acquiesces to many of my decisions as well. That doesn't mean there also isn't a mutual respect between us, or that he's afraid of me. He knows his limitations as I know mine. A man that can step back and recognize that really isn't weak at all IMO. Theres a difference between being "whipped" and just respecting your wife's opinion.

Ack, I was typing my post while you posted this. Please don't take what I said about my change in parenting as anything to do with what you said about your own parenting. Because I don't think of you as someone who treats your children as property. It seems you have very in-tuned with your children. And your criticisms I've seen toward Ellie solidifies that even further.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Treat them as property. Do you mean in featuring them in YouTube which is your income or on a more general term?

On another note, I think the "once the room is clean wasn't a punishment" and had to due to they don't have messy rooms when they film often. Her house is really clean.

[actuallydear]

(Too late to edit)

Bonnie doesn't just wear the pants in that house, she's the matriach. And as such, she holds the power and Bonnie get's off on that. It's fascinating watching her non verbal leakage, eg; her body language and facial expression when sat in the chair at Claire's. Bonnie uses fear as a parenting tool and she enjoy's that particular tool a little too much, given how she laughs at her children's vulnerable and/or painful moments, among other more subtle observations.

i watched the vlog before i came here to see anybody elses reactions and this was also my observation. i did not go back and rewatch, it was simply my observation watching the vlog in real time. the look on bonnie's face before i saw things get worse from olivia - bonnie was seething.

and the look on olivia's face while bonnie was in her bedroom. poor olivia, couldn't have been acting any more like a dog with its tail between its legs if she tried.

if ellie did this, or missy, there'd be an uproar from the very people agreeing with bonnie's reaction.

[tratra58]

Didn't want to make a big quote tree. Olivia has shown a number of times that she's really afraid of making Bonnie angry. When she hurt her tongue, that's what she was the most upset about. She said she was afraid Bonnie was going to be mad. I don't think she's "traumatized", but her perfectionism and worry over making Bonnie angry seem like the mother worship is being passed on to another generation.
We waited to get my daughter's ears pierced until she could take care of them herself. There are lots of fun sticker earrings. There's no reason to push it. We went to Claire's and didn't have any issues. I think the gun is good because it gets it over with quickly.


Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk

I wish my daughter cared about making me angry! If l get annoyed with her you can tell she believes that's my problem not hers.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My favorite message! It is so true when you care about the situation more than they do:)