Bonnie and Joel: Not Every Day Is A Rational Day (Part 9)

[Scar2016]

Two Q's:

Will this mean Olivia does or doesn't get an alternative prize for her two week abstention of finger picking? Or is the fact she can look at the pretty ear rings on her doll prize enough? That poor doll keeps getting all the consequences lol.

Will finger picking recommence under the shadow of Olivia feeling like she's failed?

[chs6213]

Two Q's:

Will this mean Olivia does or doesn't get an alternative prize for her two week abstention of finger picking? Or is the fact she can look at the pretty ear rings on her doll prize enough? That poor doll keeps getting all the consequences lol.

Will finger picking recommence under the shadow of Olivia feeling like she's failed?

That's a really good question. I wonder if she will get another prize for going two weeks without picking her skin. I would guess not since Bonnie had to purchase two sets of earrings.

If Olivia does resume the picking, would it be acknowledged in the vlog at all? I'd be surprised.

I just feel bad for her that they showed the meltdown because they've established that children from school watch their vlogs. Kids can be cruel. Olivia could be teased and stuff like this could follow her for a long time. I could see kids mocking her, calling her a baby, a chicken... I hope that wouldn't be the case but it makes me sad to think of the possibility. I guess for any of these YouTube kids really but I just have a soft spot for Olivia, lol.


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[Ducklings4]

Two Q's:

Will this mean Olivia does or doesn't get an alternative prize for her two week abstention of finger picking? Or is the fact she can look at the pretty ear rings on her doll prize enough? That poor doll keeps getting all the consequences lol.

Will finger picking recommence under the shadow of Olivia feeling like she's failed?

That's a really good question. I wonder if she will get another prize for going two weeks without picking her skin. I would guess not since Bonnie had to purchase two sets of earrings.

If Olivia does resume the picking, would it be acknowledged in the vlog at all? I'd be surprised.

I just feel bad for her that they showed the meltdown because they've established that children from school watch their vlogs. Kids can be cruel. Olivia could be teased and stuff like this could follow her for a long time. I could see kids mocking her, calling her a baby, a chicken... I hope that wouldn't be the case but it makes me sad to think of the possibility. I guess for any of these YouTube kids really but I just have a soft spot for Olivia, lol.


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She probably already told her friends she was getting her ears pierced and then had to explain why she did not the next day.


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[Namm]

Bonnies does put to much pressure on all her children to be perfect as mormon does, also her upbringing plays a part. Thats why Boston lost his mojo I suspect. He just looks sad and terrified at moments. You can even hear it in the tone of Bonnies voice sometimes when she talks, how everything must be or look perfect.

One thing that pissed me of really and still does, was the vlog where Cody had been "bad" at church. Some "adult" wanted to play or joke with him and Cody wasn't feeling it so he said NO to this adult. And Bonnie dedicated this vlog to show how not to behave towards adults cause Cody had insulted and hurt this "adult" feelings not wanting to engage with this so called "adult". Couldn't it accure to her that maybe Cody didn't feel comfortable with this "adult". When a child isn't comfortable with someone you should ask your self why...

The Griffith children haven't got any right to their own feelings or the right to say no when someone steps over "a childs boundary". When these children oppress their owns views and feelings about certain things it will eventually turn into anxiety.
Im sure all of us as children did at some point meet that "adult" who made you feel uncomfortable for some reason. Im scared for these children. To whome can they turn to, if someone sexually assaults them or anything else that isn't OK... All I've seen their mothers do in several vlogs is, to always do everything any adult tells them to, no matter what (!?)

I think the only one protected is Kate and her brother, bless her mother for doing things differently.

[chs6213]

She probably already told her friends she was getting her ears pierced and then had to explain why she did not the next day.


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Yes, probably. But even if she had to tell her friends... she could have controlled what was said. She could have said she just decided not to and left it at that. Or even if she said she got scared, a few girls might have called her a scaredy cat. But by vlogging it, Bonnie put it out there for a much broader audience. There's a much bigger chance of older children (more likely to tease a second grader) will see. If Olivia had just told her friends, these children wouldn't be able to mimic her behavior from the video. Now they can repeat stuff that she said in a mocking manner. I'm not saying it WILL happen. I'm just saying it COULD and it just makes me so sad to think about.

I just think that Bonnie should have left those scenes out and recapped it. An explanation would have been enough.


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[Scar2016]

One thing that pissed me of really and still does, was the vlog where Cody had been "bad" at church. Some "adult" wanted to play or joke with him and Cody wasn't feeling it so he said NO to this adult. And Bonnie dedicated this vlog to show how not to behave towards adults cause Cody had insulted and hurt this "adult" feelings not wanting to engage with this so called "adult". Couldn't it accure to her that maybe Cody didn't feel comfortable with this "adult". When a child isn't comfortable with someone you should ask your self why...

Do you recall what vlog that was in?

[Hershey821]

I'm sure this topic was already beaten to death a few pages ago (lol, not complaining, it's interesting to read everyone's viewpoints), but I just wanted to add something that I didn't see anyone else say.

I completely agree with HS, in that you really don't know how to deal with a child with anxiety unless you have prior personal experience. And with that being said, I can see it in 2 ways:

1 - Suppose Olivia does have generalized anxiety, and not circumstantial anxiety (hypothetically). Maybe this outburst was the first true panic attack she's ever had and Bonnie was not equipped with the skills to manage it. That's okay. We can only learn from experience and what we are taught. I see nothing wrong with Bonnie's natural reaction, and hopefully if this is really the case, she will learn in time how to properly handle situations like these.

Or

2 - Suppose Olivia doesn't have anxiety at all, and has a tendency to freak out over (seemingly) small things due to the perfectionist nature in her. (There have been numerous examples of this, unfortunately, posted through Bonnie's vlogs for all of us to witness.) Bonnie, being the adult, becomes frustrated with Olivia for acting in such a way for things that, to her, seem like no big deal. She says Olivia is being "naughty" because she thinks she is being over dramatic, not fully understanding that Olivia is processing things through the mind of a child. Personal: My parents often did this when I would have panic attacks as a child (out of lack of knowledge, not ignorance) and it was pretty emotionally scarring.

What I'm trying to say is, in either scenario, of course Bonnie didn't handle it perfectly. But honestly, this is why I (and I think a lot of you as well) initially liked her vlogs; for the unfiltered real-ness. I appreciate Bonnie's transparency in this vlog in particular; how she even admitted she didn't know how to handle it. How can we criticize her for that? It wasn't a scripted moment that was filmed numerous times *coughE+Jcough*, it was a real moment that I think/hope Bonnie took as a learning opportunity. That is all

I'm sorry but lack of knowledge is ignorance. What do you think the word means? I know the word sounds harsh but that's what it means.



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[hey girl hey007]

So I just watched the video and cringed the whole time. I felt terrible for Olivia, I just wanted to pull her off Bonnie's lap and give her a hug and tell her it was okay. Joel tried to comfort her, but the look on Bonnie's face said it all. Why wait for your child to break down and say they were scared of you being mad at them? Because that's who Bonnie is she let's it known how "ticked" off she is. You could tell Joel was uncomfortable filming the way the camera kept panning up. He was more concerned about his daugther than he was about having to buy two sets of earrings. What really gets me about these girls, is how much they rely on their mothers so much. Bonnie had to call her mom? No. Bonnie was going to lose her shit and her only option was talking to mommy to make things better. Why couldn't she talk to Joel and figure out what's best for their child? Bonnie shows Oliva her mom's doll to try and make something better. That doesn't make me feel any better. It's just rubbing it in my face and reminding me that I didn't go through with something. I got my ears pierced at Claire's when I was 18 and guess what? I freaked out! I had my ex boyfriend there walking me through it and I was still scared. For the sake of everyone I think Bonnie really needs to pull her head out of her ass. She isn't Jennifer. Not everything has to be up to Jennifer's standards. Jennifer isn't the one who has to deal with the consequences.

[Scar2016]

So I just watched the video and cringed the whole time. I felt terrible for Olivia, I just wanted to pull her off Bonnie's lap and give her a hug and tell her it was okay. Joel tried to comfort her, but the look on Bonnie's face said it all. Why wait for your child to break down and say they were scared of you being mad at them? Because that's who Bonnie is she let's it known how "ticked" off she is. You could tell Joel was uncomfortable filming the way the camera kept panning up. He was more concerned about his daugther than he was about having to buy two sets of earrings. What really gets me about these girls, is how much they rely on their mothers so much. Bonnie had to call her mom? No. Bonnie was going to lose her shit and her only option was talking to mommy to make things better. Why couldn't she talk to Joel and figure out what's best for their child? Bonnie shows Oliva her mom's doll to try and make something better. That doesn't make me feel any better. It's just rubbing it in my face and reminding me that I didn't go through with something. I got my ears pierced at Claire's when I was 18 and guess what? I freaked out! I had my ex boyfriend there walking me through it and I was still scared. For the sake of everyone I think Bonnie really needs to pull her head out of her ass. She isn't Jennifer. Not everything has to be up to Jennifer's standards. Jennifer isn't the one who has to deal with the consequences.

''Joel tried to comfort her, but the look on Bonnie's face said it all.'' I agree. If you watch Bonnie's reflection in the shop window when Joel tries to comfort Olivia and how Bonnie's mouthing to Olivia with her arms crossed and far from smiling it's hardly surprising Olivia was scared of upsetting her mom. Perfection complex is more than just an inward thing with Olivia because it appears the way she is parented only serves to exacerbate that trait in her.

Tongue-pole-licking incident - Bonnie: ''I'm totally confident in how I parent [sic].''
Ear piercing 'fail' - Calls her mom.

[nutbagmcgee]

I'm not gonna lie, I probably would've reacted just how Bonnie did. In my head I have thoughts of how the day is going to go, we're going to go to the shop get my daughters ears pierced and then have a great family dinner. Once we get there the child begins acting foolish, I paid for not one, but two sets of earrings because she promised that she was going to get it done, she acts like a fool again, I would be so pissed. Maybe that makes me a terrible mother?

[Namm]

Not a bad mother but an immature one. Children are unpredicable and still learning how to handle different situations as they're growing up. As an adult, expecially their own mother, should know better how to handle her self. If they do disappoint you at times please try to chose when to take it personal and get angry at them. Its about earings nothing more...

[lmmomSD]

One thing that pissed me of really and still does, was the vlog where Cody had been "bad" at church. Some "adult" wanted to play or joke with him and Cody wasn't feeling it so he said NO to this adult. And Bonnie dedicated this vlog to show how not to behave towards adults cause Cody had insulted and hurt this "adult" feelings not wanting to engage with this so called "adult". Couldn't it accure to her that maybe Cody didn't feel comfortable with this "adult". When a child isn't comfortable with someone you should ask your self why...

Do you recall what vlog that was in?

I would be interested in seeing that too. Because sometimes with the Griffiths, it does seem that children have to respect their elders to an extreme degree. Respect for elders is a good thing, but Ellie with her "be happy!" and do as I tell you no matter what, and Bonnie's perfectionism (everything must _look_ perfect-- well-behaved, well-groomed, well-dressed children but grammar doesn't matter) could put the kids in a dangerous situation. We always taught our kids that their bodies were their own. They didn't have to allow people to touch them. The way Bonnie is so sure they're safe, like not worrying about the boys being outside alone, leads me to think that any adult could come up to them and say that someone in the family was hurt (and use a name) and that they're taking the kid to mommy, and the kid would just go along, because you have to do what grown-ups say. I'm not dissing raising kids to be polite. You can teach them to be polite without teaching them that all adults are to be obeyed.

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[hey girl hey007]

I think what everyone needs to remember is that she's only 7. She thought she could go through with it then changed her mind. She already disappointed herself enough, and she has her mom saying "I'm not mad at you" with such a straight face you could tell she was lying. Bonnie should have stopped with the first set of earrings. She should have pulled Oliva to the side, shut off the camera and find out why she was so scared. Maybe talking to her and would have helped. Oliva acted the way she did because she was freaked out and rightfully so. She has two strangers coming at her with piercing guns and her mom is trying to hold her down. There was another little girl in there who had the same thing done and was crying. I'm sure she say that and it scared her. Bonnie needs to put her own feelings aside and put her children's feelings first. For all we know now Oliva may never want to try again.

[Peridot]

My take? It's friggin earrings for God's sake!! It's not like it's a medical procedure that has to be done. I had to hold my kid down for plenty of those. . .allergy testing, sweat test for cystic fibrosis and he freaked out about it. Those things HAD to be done. Earrings for vanity and appearance do not HAVE to be done! Get a grip Bonnie! Why not just comfort your child and say we'll try again in a couple of years, it's okay, I understand.

The humiliation, and shaming of children for thousands to witness is so flat out wrong. And the thumbnail? Just shameful Bonnie. I keep asking myself what is wrong with these family vloggers that expose, embarrass, and humiliate their children in public and for what? Money, that's it. I no longer watch any of them. It feels like I'm invading an innocent child's privacy. They have not consented to any of this. Joel is just as bad, he goes along with all of it because he afraid of the "wrath of Bonnie."

Narcissism is alive and well in ALL of these vloggers.

[Peridot]

Here's the 'Cody bad at church' video.

[Namm]

All of you guys are bringing out very important points, couldn't agree more. It's just sad that there isn't any way to reach Bonnie as she never does anything wrong in her parenting. None of the Griffiths sisters do as they've learned their "akwards" ways of handling things from the best (their mum who knows everything about nothing".

[Scar2016]

I think what everyone needs to remember is that she's only 7. She thought she could go through with it then changed her mind. She already disappointed herself enough, and she has her mom saying "I'm not mad at you" with such a straight face you could tell she was lying. Bonnie should have stopped with the first set of earrings. She should have pulled Oliva to the side, shut off the camera and find out why she was so scared. Maybe talking to her and would have helped. Oliva acted the way she did because she was freaked out and rightfully so. She has two strangers coming at her with piercing guns and her mom is trying to hold her down. There was another little girl in there who had the same thing done and was crying. I'm sure she say that and it scared her. Bonnie needs to put her own feelings aside and put her children's feelings first. For all we know now Oliva may never want to try again.

One thing that no one (iirc, forgive me if someone has) has mentioned is the chat in the car beforehand. Bonnie tells Olivia not to cry when she has her ears pierced and then does her trademark (and yes, it is a trademark in certain scenarios) laugh/smirk-smile to camera. Joel follows up saying he'll try not to cry either and Bonnie says the same thing but in a sad voice and ends with a sad face, implying 'Oh no, my baby girl' is getting her ears pierced.

Kids (generalization) have a super fragile ego despite how much gregariousness they show on the outside, so who knows how Olivia interpreted that scene when she was faced with the piercing guns. Did she think ''Oh no, mom doesn't want me to get it done?'' Coz that's also one of the things she clearly said while in Claire's.

[HelloSweetie]

I think what everyone needs to remember is that she's only 7. She thought she could go through with it then changed her mind. She already disappointed herself enough, and she has her mom saying "I'm not mad at you" with such a straight face you could tell she was lying. Bonnie should have stopped with the first set of earrings. She should have pulled Oliva to the side, shut off the camera and find out why she was so scared. Maybe talking to her and would have helped. Oliva acted the way she did because she was freaked out and rightfully so. She has two strangers coming at her with piercing guns and her mom is trying to hold her down. There was another little girl in there who had the same thing done and was crying. I'm sure she say that and it scared her. Bonnie needs to put her own feelings aside and put her children's feelings first. For all we know now Oliva may never want to try again.

It's entirely possible this was happening during the transitions. Somehow they ended up with the two pierced simultaneously. Somehow Olivia ended up in that chair again with Bonnie holding her. I'm sure Olivia thought that was a better option and she could do I at the time, just as she felt she could do it after they were about to leave. This indecisiveness is what made me say it sound like an anxiety attack. Yes Bonnie could have handled it differently, but if she's never seen Olivia react like this before, she really wouldn't know how.

[Namm]

"Narcissism is alive and well in ALL of these vloggers." AGREE!
I think that Bonnie has been good at hiding her traits but still has given us indication like the fact that she is NEVER wrong. Also because I truly believe that she really loves her kids and that they seem generally happy most of the times when they don't look terrified...

[lmmomSD]

I think what everyone needs to remember is that she's only 7. She thought she could go through with it then changed her mind. She already disappointed herself enough, and she has her mom saying "I'm not mad at you" with such a straight face you could tell she was lying. Bonnie should have stopped with the first set of earrings. She should have pulled Oliva to the side, shut off the camera and find out why she was so scared. Maybe talking to her and would have helped. Oliva acted the way she did because she was freaked out and rightfully so. She has two strangers coming at her with piercing guns and her mom is trying to hold her down. There was another little girl in there who had the same thing done and was crying. I'm sure she say that and it scared her. Bonnie needs to put her own feelings aside and put her children's feelings first. For all we know now Oliva may never want to try again.

It's entirely possible this was happening during the transitions. Somehow they ended up with the two pierced simultaneously. Somehow Olivia ended up in that chair again with Bonnie holding her. I'm sure Olivia thought that was a better option and she could do I at the time, just as she felt she could do it after they were about to leave. This indecisiveness is what made me say it sound like an anxiety attack. Yes Bonnie could have handled it differently, but if she's never seen Olivia react like this before, she really wouldn't know how.

Not arguing, just asking-- did she _say_ Olivia had never reacted this way, or are we assuming? Just curious if I missed that. I was watching peripherally.

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