John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

[Pineapples]

I genuinely just think that's how her voice sounds though. She always speaks like that even in her instavids.

[lmmomSD]

Not updating the GFM to reflect the grant is definitely skeevy.
Kryptonite, you expressed exactly what I was thinking, perfectly.
I wish her the best, absolutely. I can't imagine what she has been through. So I will just say that, and that I agree with you 100%, Krypto!

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[Ceirsten8676]

Yeah, she definitely doesn't have all of it right up in the head.


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[chs6213]

I have lost two baby girls. I wasn't as far along as Joan. And everyone grieves differently. In June 2013 I lost my first daughter at 24 weeks. In December 2016 I lost my second daughter. Both losses were devastating. I don't go a day without thinking about or crying over my girls. But I never post pictures of myself crying online and I rarely post stuff online at all, really. I do mention my losses on here but I don't go much in depth... but everyone does grieve differently.

I'm surprised that they started trying again so soon after Maeve. I don't know when/if/how my husband and I will ever be ready. How did she find out about fertility issues so quickly, too? I know it's been almost two years at this point but in the video they submitted to Ellie and Jared, they'd been through months and months of fertility treatments right? Or am I remembering wrong...? I haven't watched all their videos so I know there are pieces of their story that I've missed.


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[sataninwonderland]

While I was looking through her Instagram, I noticed a post about being 2.5 years sober (this was an old post from like a year ago). Anybody know what she was addicted to?

[actuallydear]

While I was looking through her Instagram, I noticed a post about being 2.5 years sober (this was an old post from like a year ago). Anybody know what she was addicted to?

I'm guessing alcohol. I saw a post that said "now I don't drink anymore".

[Scar2016]

I keep finding out things about them that make me cringe. The top three are:

Living with her parents but accepting money for IVF.
Not updating the GoFundMe.
The cat situation.

...screaming out for my manager, demanding that they hang up a plaque in my baby's honor at work because other mom's are pumping and I feel left out.

I don't think she is ready for another baby. She wants “her” baby, she's said so herself. She wants the baby she lost. I don't think she'll ever be completely content until she works through that.

While I was looking through her Instagram, I noticed a post about being 2.5 years sober (this was an old post from like a year ago). Anybody know what she was addicted to?

I'm guessing alcohol. I saw a post that said "now I don't drink anymore".

(Have paraphrased Krypto to keep quote tree short)
Yikes, that's a whole lot of stuff I wasn't aware of as don't watch their videos. I did watch yesterdays announcement one though and iirc they lost Maeve in June 2015 and began trying again three months later in Sep 2015, that's mighty quick.

1) Living with her parents but accepting money for IVF. They don't have a home of their own??

2) Not updated their GoFundMe to reflect their IVF gift is at the least morally wrong imo, I don't know how that stands legally.

3) The cat situation I don't fully know the situ on..

4) ''Demanding that they hang up a plaque in my baby's honor at work because other mom's are pumping and I feel left out.'' That's pretty unreasonable. They already have a plaque (or is it a bench) in the city/town they live in I think I read. Wasn't that paid for from funds from the GoFundMe or was it another additional donation platform?

5) I don't read her instagram or facebook so was not aware of her using language such as ''I want MY baby.'' Is she saying ''I want her'' as in she wants Maeve back?

6) The timeline ref her being sober from whatever addiction she has is interesting. Two and a half years = 30 months. It's been 21 months since Mae's stillbirth, so if that timeline is correct it appears her addiction was still active right up until the moment of conceiving. Was Maeve planned does anyone know? I couldn't get my head around Joan's incoherent story about a ring John gave her, a restaurant dinner and him asking 'will you have a baby with me'. Something (actually no, a lot of things) seems off.

There's clearly a lot more going on that just PTSD and while that diagnosis requires ongoing treatment she clearly needs other treatment/help too. But crucially it sounds like more time also which worryingly is not going to happen if this pregnancy continues to term. I wonder if the gender of the baby will make any difference on the positive or negative impact to her stability which of course it shouldn't. The whole thing is sad but also worrying for this current baby. It would be so damaging and concerning for Maeve to forvever be the ghost child and the living one to be the shadow child.

[chs6213]

(Have paraphrased Krypto to keep quote tree short)
Yikes, that's a whole lot of stuff I wasn't aware of as don't watch their videos. I did watch yesterdays announcement one though and iirc they lost Maeve in June 2015 and began trying again three months later in Sep 2015, that's mighty quick.

1) Living with her parents but accepting money for IVF. They don't have a home of their own??

2) Not updated their GoFundMe to reflect their IVF gift is at the least morally wrong imo, I don't know how that stands legally.

3) The cat situation I don't fully know the situ on..

4) ''Demanding that they hang up a plaque in my baby's honor at work because other mom's are pumping and I feel left out.'' That's pretty unreasonable. They already have a plaque (or is it a bench) in the city/town they live in I think I read. Wasn't that paid for from funds from the GoFundMe or was it another additional donation platform?

5) I don't read her instagram or facebook so was not aware of her using language such as ''I want MY baby.'' Is she saying ''I want her'' as in she wants Maeve back?

6) The timeline ref her being sober from whatever addiction she has is interesting. Two and a half years = 30 months. It's been 21 months since Mae's stillbirth, so if that timeline is correct it appears her addiction was still active right up until the moment of conceiving. Was Maeve planned does anyone know? I couldn't get my head around Joan's incoherent story about a ring John gave her, a restaurant dinner and him asking 'will you have a baby with me'. Something (actually no, a lot of things) seems off.

There's clearly a lot more going on that just PTSD and while that diagnosis requires ongoing treatment she clearly needs other treatment/help too. But crucially it sounds like more time also which worryingly is not going to happen if this pregnancy continues to term. I wonder if the gender of the baby will make any difference on the positive or negative impact to her stability which of course it shouldn't. The whole thing is sad but also worrying for this current baby. It would be so damaging and concerning for Maeve to forvever be the ghost child and the living one to be the shadow child.

I am concerned that the gender will have an impact. If the baby is a boy, she might not feel as though she's getting "her baby" as she should. I know when I thought about TTC after my first daughter was stillborn, one of the biggest signs that I wasn't ready was I felt that I'd be crushed if I didn't have a girl. I also knew that I would irrationally have my first daughter on a pedestal and it wouldn't be fair to the new baby. It wouldn't have been healthy for me to try at that point and I don't especially think it's healthy for Joan to have started trying when she did. I think it and the following infertility strongly affected/stunted her grieving process.

Maeve was planned. She said she was conceived the first month they tried and she was a honeymoon baby. So maybe she stopped drinking to TTC? I'm not sure. She's still so early in this pregnancy and seems to have her hopes so high. I really am scared of what will happen if anything goes wrong. I pray she will have a smooth pregnancy and no more scares...


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[lmmomSD]

With all the talk about what she's going to do if this is a boy-- is it possible that they only implanted girl embryos?
That would be another big red flag...

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[marshmallowfluf]

I was thinking that the grant probably didnt cover genetic testing. And they only did one embryo for her because she would be very high risk if she were to have twins.


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[fossilfinger]

With all the talk about what she's going to do if this is a boy-- is it possible that they only implanted girl embryos?
That would be another big red flag...

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Only two out of five embryos survived, so they couldn't be both beggars and choosers in this situation.

[Sarai]

There's something really off about them.

[Stuuu3]

I agree with you guys. She clearly has to work on her problems before the baby comes. The attention seaking posts give me mixed feelings. However, since I think she really is still grieving and needs the help of a therapist I don't want to blame her. Her family really should step in though. If my daughter was in the same position I would do everything in my power to stop her from joining the YouTube train. That can't be healthy for her. I understand it brings in money, but it's not going to do her any good. I pray for this baby to be healthy and to not be born with an insane amount of expectations, pressure and overly protective parents.

[HelloSweetie]

I agree with you guys. She clearly has to work on her problems before the baby comes. The attention seaking posts give me mixed feelings. However, since I think she really is still grieving and needs the help of a therapist I don't want to blame her. Her family really should step in though. If my daughter was in the same position I would do everything in my power to stop her from joining the YouTube train. That can't be healthy for her. I understand it brings in money, but it's not going to do her any good. I pray for this baby to be healthy and to not be born with an insane amount of expectations, pressure and overly protective parents.

I don't think her family is any better based on her dad's reaction to the pregnancy news...[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201703 ... 228237.jpg[/img]

I think it would be best for all of them if the new baby were a boy and looked nothing like Maeve.

[MommaLindsey2]

I fear if the poor child doesn't have red hair like it's big sister.


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[lmmomSD]

Wow. Her dad finds out she's pregnant with another and cries and says he wants Maeve?
Maybe she expressed it badly, and he meant that he's sorry she won't be there to be a big sister? Because what she _said_ is weird too. It's so hard to find the words to express what I mean, because I don't want to sound judgy. They've been through such a wrenching experience. I have no reference point for that. But some of the stuff she posts just sounds _off_.

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[MommaLindsey2]

Have they discussed what happened to the baby? Was it the cord wrapped around the neck or something else?


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[chs6213]

Goodness. Her posts and comments make me so sad. I wonder how John has dealt with things. Is he as emotional? How does he react when Joan sobs and screams for their baby? Does he do the same? I don't know. It's just a heartbreaking situation all around.


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[flowerpuppy]

Have they discussed what happened to the baby? Was it the cord wrapped around the neck or something else?


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the most i've seen her say about it is that maeve had a "growth restriction"


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[Stuuu3]

Oh wow. But to be fair it might be her paraphrasing...I hope. Like I hope he said something along the lines "I wish M would be here to be a big sister" and her obsession (sorry I can't find a better word, not trying to be insensitive) made it all about her daughter. Know what I mean?