John and Joan (IVF grant recipients)

[actuallydear]

In reality, the more she grieves the less she'll be able to love anyone else

I don't think she cares

[Popcorn]

Her latest post is interesting. Not going to screenshot it as I use YTMD on my laptop and instagram on my phone. But it's a picture of the stuffed fox on Maeve's bench with the passage from The Velveteen Rabbit about how things become "real" by being loved.

It seems like an admission of everything that's been said here: she kind of knows that she has made Maeve into a "real"/imaginary person...but

[marshmallowfluf]

Her latest post is interesting. Not going to screenshot it as I use YTMD on my laptop and instagram on my phone. But it's a picture of the stuffed fox on Maeve's bench with the passage from The Velveteen Rabbit about how things become "real" by being loved.

It seems like an admission of everything that's been said here: she kind of knows that she has made Maeve into a "real"/imaginary person...but

The most interesting thing about that post is that the fox is wearing a baby outfit..


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[actuallydear]

I definitely think she could benefit from an inpatient program.

I truly hope she can get better.

[lmmomSD]

I definitely think she could benefit from an inpatient program.

I truly hope she can get better.

I definitely don't think that the multiple GFMs and using the situation to make $$ off people's sympathy is OK. But-- I do believe that she is really consumed by her grief and really needs more help than she is getting. I hope she can get better too. And I don't think bringing another baby into the mix is going to help, and it could really be damaging to the poor kid who will never live up to perfect Maeve.

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[cruelwinter]

Sorry if this is something that's been discussed, but why did Maeve pass away at 37 weeks? Was it preventable? And whatever it was, would it have affected her if she was born?

She had a growth restriction in utero. In most cases when it is caught and the mother is induced and the baby is born early they do just fine once they are surviving outside the mother. Maeve passed away because the growth restriction Joan had wasn't caught by her midwives, she went in multiple times due to decreased movement and they dismissed her and sadly Maeve passed and at her next checkup when her heartbeat wasn't detectable she was rushed to the hospital for induction and delivered Maeve dead. I am sure the reason for her intense agony was only heightened due to the fact that had her team caught it Maeve would have been alive and well, sadly medicine, doctors, and midwives aren't perfect.

They don't _know_ that Maeve would have been alive and well. They don't know what caused the growth restriction. That is why the lawyer said that they didn't have a case.

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They do actually know what caused the growth restriction, she has said before that Maeve's placenta had a condition called "villitis of unknown etiology"

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[skiingmama1]

She had a growth restriction in utero. In most cases when it is caught and the mother is induced and the baby is born early they do just fine once they are surviving outside the mother. Maeve passed away because the growth restriction Joan had wasn't caught by her midwives, she went in multiple times due to decreased movement and they dismissed her and sadly Maeve passed and at her next checkup when her heartbeat wasn't detectable she was rushed to the hospital for induction and delivered Maeve dead. I am sure the reason for her intense agony was only heightened due to the fact that had her team caught it Maeve would have been alive and well, sadly medicine, doctors, and midwives aren't perfect.[/quote]
They don't _know_ that Maeve would have been alive and well. They don't know what caused the growth restriction. That is why the lawyer said that they didn't have a case.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk[/quote]

They do actually know what caused the growth restriction, she has said before that Maeve's placenta had a condition called "villitis of unknown etiology"

Thats why I said in MOST cases the baby does well once it is thriving on its own. Of course there is always a chance this wouldn't be the case, but overall the prognosis is usually positive if it is caught and a mother is induced and a baby is born early.

[/quote]

[skiingmama1]

I definitely think she could benefit from an inpatient program.

I truly hope she can get better.

She did mention that she was invited to attend a retreat for grieving loss moms over the summer. Hopefully that can help her to start healing mentally and emotionally.

[lmmomSD]

She had a growth restriction in utero. In most cases when it is caught and the mother is induced and the baby is born early they do just fine once they are surviving outside the mother. Maeve passed away because the growth restriction Joan had wasn't caught by her midwives, she went in multiple times due to decreased movement and they dismissed her and sadly Maeve passed and at her next checkup when her heartbeat wasn't detectable she was rushed to the hospital for induction and delivered Maeve dead. I am sure the reason for her intense agony was only heightened due to the fact that had her team caught it Maeve would have been alive and well, sadly medicine, doctors, and midwives aren't perfect.

They don't _know_ that Maeve would have been alive and well. They don't know what caused the growth restriction. That is why the lawyer said that they didn't have a case.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk[/quote]

They do actually know what caused the growth restriction, she has said before that Maeve's placenta had a condition called "villitis of unknown etiology"

Thats why I said in MOST cases the baby does well once it is thriving on its own. Of course there is always a chance this wouldn't be the case, but overall the prognosis is usually positive if it is caught and a mother is induced and a baby is born early.

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Thanks. I must have misunderstood something along the line. My understanding was that there was no way to know if Maeve would have been OK. But thanks for clarifying!

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[GymChick]

She had a growth restriction in utero. In most cases when it is caught and the mother is induced and the baby is born early they do just fine once they are surviving outside the mother. Maeve passed away because the growth restriction Joan had wasn't caught by her midwives, she went in multiple times due to decreased movement and they dismissed her and sadly Maeve passed and at her next checkup when her heartbeat wasn't detectable she was rushed to the hospital for induction and delivered Maeve dead. I am sure the reason for her intense agony was only heightened due to the fact that had her team caught it Maeve would have been alive and well, sadly medicine, doctors, and midwives aren't perfect.

They don't _know_ that Maeve would have been alive and well. They don't know what caused the growth restriction. That is why the lawyer said that they didn't have a case.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk[/quote]

They do actually know what caused the growth restriction, she has said before that Maeve's placenta had a condition called "villitis of unknown etiology"

Thats why I said in MOST cases the baby does well once it is thriving on its own. Of course there is always a chance this wouldn't be the case, but overall the prognosis is usually positive if it is caught and a mother is induced and a baby is born early.

[img]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201705 ... e2d4f8.png[/img][/quote][/quote]

My coworker has this condition with one of her twins. She is high risk and they are monitoring growth and heart and they have an early section scheduled. If I were Joan my grief would most certainly be heightened by the fact that the midwives didn't catch it. If a baby has a genetic issues and going in you know their quality of life will be 0 I feel like, yes sad and devastating, it's easier to accept. Joan's situation makes it so much harder to accept because it was probably preventable. She is majorly depressed, and not very stable. I don't think I would ever recover if my doctor missed something obvious and my baby had a heart beat at 36 weeks and none the next week....God forbid, lock me in the nut house.


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[MommaLindsey2]

If she was really worried about decreased movement she should have rushed herself to the hospital not her midwife and not wait till the next appointment to find out the baby died. I would start freaking in my pregnancies if I went more than an hour or two without feeling movement. I would lay on my side and drink juice (someone I know lost a baby due to the cord wrapping around the neck at 39 weeks so I've always been freaked out about this stuff) I know it's not her fault but damn this whole thing just seems like it could have been avoided. I know she trusted her midwife but maybe she trusted her a little too much.


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[flowerpuppy]

their frozen embryo transfer gfm is STILL open! now, i'll admit that i'm not someone who is ashamed to accept monetary gifts or help from other people (so long as they are financially comfortable), but even to me, this is excessive! they are over 4000 dollars past their goal, and they're still keeping it open in hopes of squeaking more money out of people. it's so sketchy of them.

[Pineapples]

their frozen embryo transfer gfm is STILL open! now, i'll admit that i'm not someone who is ashamed to accept monetary gifts or help from other people (so long as they are financially comfortable), but even to me, this is excessive! they are over 4000 dollars past their goal, and they're still keeping it open in hopes of squeaking more money out of people. it's so sketchy of them.

You cannot close a gfm account. If people want to still donate they will. They have removed the links from their social media..


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[flowerpuppy]

their frozen embryo transfer gfm is STILL open! now, i'll admit that i'm not someone who is ashamed to accept monetary gifts or help from other people (so long as they are financially comfortable), but even to me, this is excessive! they are over 4000 dollars past their goal, and they're still keeping it open in hopes of squeaking more money out of people. it's so sketchy of them.

You cannot close a gfm account. If people want to still donate they will. They have removed the links from their social media..


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really? i swear i've seen fundraisers that no longer have the option to donate, and after a quick google search i see instructions on the gofundme site for how to disable donations.

[yoyo16]

I just looked on GofundMe's website. You can take a fundraiser down, you can even take down the donations button while leaving the page up. I think they're being lazy about it. They also know that people will continue to donate if they keep it up.


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[cruelwinter]

I just read her latest ig post and in it she said her ivf doctor told her she could have the embryo transferred in two cycles but she said to John she doesn't think she'll be ready by then. So it seems she's actually realising she needs to take care of herself.


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[HelloSweetie]

I just read her latest ig post and in it she said her ivf doctor told her she could have the embryo transferred in two cycles but she said to John she doesn't think she'll be ready by then. So it seems she's actually realising she needs to take care of herself.


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I disagree. I think it's just something she's saying for sympathy tbh.

She says her bleeding just stopped yesterday. This means she hasn't even finished one cycle yet, let alone two. She wants to avoid IVF around Maeve's birthday, but that is less than a month away. She also says Sweetpea will be 12 weeks at that time).

I'll be shocked if they don't try the IVF after June, just as she said from the start. Two cycles still seems to line up just right for that.

[crew96]

If she was really worried about decreased movement she should have rushed herself to the hospital not her midwife and not wait till the next appointment to find out the baby died. I would start freaking in my pregnancies if I went more than an hour or two without feeling movement. I would lay on my side and drink juice (someone I know lost a baby due to the cord wrapping around the neck at 39 weeks so I've always been freaked out about this stuff) I know it's not her fault but damn this whole thing just seems like it could have been avoided. I know she trusted her midwife but maybe she trusted her a little too much.


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It's easy to say what you would have done because it didn't happen to you. It's similar to jury's on personal injury cases. They typically don't award much because "I would have looked both ways before going through the intersection when my light turned green. Thus the driver running the red light wouldn't have hit me."


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[rodgerdodger]

More and more Joan is acting like one of those crazy old women in 19th century novels who are still grieving the loss of their stillborn. All she needs is some petticoats and a fainting couch


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[Scar2016]

More and more Joan is acting like one of those crazy old women in 19th century novels who are still grieving the loss of their stillborn. All she needs is some petticoats and a fainting couch

Don't forget the smelling salts for afterwards. Her instagram posts are reaching Shakespearean heights. People are telling her she should write a book. I'd say yes other than the fact it would mean opening yet another GFM account. I don't know how people survive in the rest of America without GFM's. How are y'all doing it?