E+J - Fake Happy Campers | Part 27

[HelloSweetie]

I think it's funny that it's the younger posters that are saying they would expect more, and the older ones that are saying it isn't the gift that matters.

As time goes on in a relationship you learn that most men just don't think like we do. If she wants something tangible, she should have said. She received a thoughtful gift from her first son, and she should have been grateful for that. If she wanted a memento she could have kept a baby sock.

She also wanted a push present did she not? I don't think it's the tangible part she was upset about. I think it was not getting the ring upgrade we've seen her hinting at for years.

[smellycat801]

Yep, if you want something very specific to commemorate something, go out and pick it out yourself. Problem solved. I think Ellie likes to play games and guilt trip her husband over every little thing. Again, I can't imagine finally getting the child you've hoped and prayed for only to ruin your first Mother's Day by throwing a fit over a gift card. Normal, healthy people have enough perspective and maturity to express gratitude and recognize what's truly important.

She didn't throw a fit? He seemed to not really know about it or remember it 3 years later....and she only brought it up when asked a specific question about gifts.


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She may have not thrown a fit but once it was brought up, she kept on rubbing it in his face by bringing it up again. I'm sure she'll bring it up again and again now that it's out in the open. Jared will probably buy her a gift now to make up for that gift.

A whole tub full of lush bombs.

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[Cgl33]

Was anyone else surprised that she even knows the word tangible?

[onbreak]

Ruby has mentioned before that her and Kevin have had fights over gifts. Seems to me like all of the Griffith girls have a hard time appreciating things. Instead of being grateful she chose to be a sour puss and create a bad memory of her first mothers day.


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And didn't Bonnie get pissed because Joel said he was bringing a "surprise", and brought home doughnuts? She was mad because a "surprise" to her meant something else.
I wouldn't want to try to please one of the Griffiths girls. My ex knew he was clueless about jewelry, so he would ask me what I wanted, but if he bought something without asking, I was never mad at him. Have these women never heard that it's the thought that counts?

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I would be mad too about donuts.. guys just like to fatten women up

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[Cgl33]

I think it's funny that it's the younger posters that are saying they would expect more, and the older ones that are saying it isn't the gift that matters.

As time goes on in a relationship you learn that most men just don't think like we do. If she wants something tangible, she should have said. She received a thoughtful gift from her first son, and she should have been grateful for that. If she wanted a memento she could have kept a baby sock.

She also wanted a push present did she not? I don't think it's the tangible part she was upset about. I think it was not getting the ring upgrade we've seen her hinting at for years.

It's very immature to expect your partner to be a mind reader. She had an imagine in her head and Jared didn't give her that. He couldn't win. For my first Mother's Day, I wanted a specific personalized necklace. I saw the Duchess of Cambridge wearing it in a picture and fell in love with it. He ordered it with me right there to make sure the personalization was right. That's 11 years of marriage experience lol.

[amyfalafal]

I think it's funny that it's the younger posters that are saying they would expect more, and the older ones that are saying it isn't the gift that matters.

As time goes on in a relationship you learn that most men just don't think like we do. If she wants something tangible, she should have said. She received a thoughtful gift from her first son, and she should have been grateful for that. If she wanted a memento she could have kept a baby sock.

She also wanted a push present did she not? I don't think it's the tangible part she was upset about. I think it was not getting the ring upgrade we've seen her hinting at for years.

I agree. After our first year of marriage we learned my husband cant take a hint, and though I would love to be surprised with someone I really wanted, I just give my husband 2-3 options of what i need/want for any mothers day or birthday occasions, and he does the same for me and we chose one of those options and it sort of is a surprise. It works for us. But we learned to freakin communicate because other than the typical first year of marriage and learning to live together, we learned communication is so so important in any instance. I feel like Ellie, like myself 6 years ago, believes her husband reads her mind and takes a hint. Guys' minds work differently to ours. Anyone read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?

[smellycat801]

I would actually be very happy about the donuts

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[littlebaby]

Did anyone go back to watch the video of their first Mother's Day to see her reaction?


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[yallstupid]

Did anyone go back to watch the video of their first Mother's Day to see her reaction?


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They didn't make a vlog it was a tribute to those with infertility oddly enough.


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[BellaRose]

Did anyone go back to watch the video of their first Mother's Day to see her reaction?


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I tried to find a vlog of it, but all I found was a video they did for their first Mother's Day talking about their infertility journey. It's actually weird to watch because Ellie looks so vacant. And they mention how hard it was to watch success stories and still not having any luck.


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[ferriswheel]

Aren't E&J of the mindset that a gift is something the gift giver thinks it's something you'd like to receive, not necessarily something you want?

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[amyfalafal]

Don't hate on me, but I do own when I am wrong. And I didnt want to be wrong about Ellie not having PCOS.
I was looking back at her first mother's day reaction, which it wasnt a reaction or anything about how they spent Mother's day, more of a tribute to the infertility community. Which was nice. Anyway, this video was in the "suggested videos" section on the side and the doctor at the fertility clinic is very suspicious during Ellie's ultrasound that she does have PCOS. I thought Ellie came into the clinic declaring she has PCOS. It didnt surprise me but then I saw this. I'll link it below. But yeah. Now I do believe she has it by how her doctor is talking to her about it. I think to confirm it they would have needed extra blood tests but because they had a successful pregnancy that round they didnt bother confirming it 100%.

[luci417]

I haven't been reading this forum for a few days and I normally just lurk but I wanted to say I really hope they don't call it a rainbow baby when they get pregnant again. Ellie probably wasn't even pregnant and even if she was...the baby was microscopic at that point. I know it was very wanted and they were (apparently) very sad about it but that pain is a drop in the ocean compared to a late term miscarriage or even worse, a still birth. I say this as someone who has had a miscarriage at 12 weeks (so a helluva a lot further along than Ellie was), I think it's very disrespectful to compare a 1st trimester miscarriage to the horrible trauma of a still birth and act like you know what that kind of pain is. Yes it's very painful to lose a pregnancy at any stage but they're just not the same. Rainbow babies are supposed to be after a loss and to me a loss implies that your child was big/formed enough to be a child that you could hold in your arms. I know some people might disagree but if you'd had a still birth/lost a living child and you googled 'rainbow baby' and came across these idiots with 2 other children talking about their evap line pregnancy how would you feel?

[luci417]

Ruby has mentioned before that her and Kevin have had fights over gifts. Seems to me like all of the Griffith girls have a hard time appreciating things. Instead of being grateful she chose to be a sour puss and create a bad memory of her first mothers day.


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And didn't Bonnie get pissed because Joel said he was bringing a "surprise", and brought home doughnuts? She was mad because a "surprise" to her meant something else.
I wouldn't want to try to please one of the Griffiths girls. My ex knew he was clueless about jewelry, so he would ask me what I wanted, but if he bought something without asking, I was never mad at him. Have these women never heard that it's the thought that counts?

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I would be mad too about donuts.. guys just like to fatten women up

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I have to admit if my husband surprised me with donuts he brought home I'd be delighted (yay donuts!) but if he told me ahead of time it was 'a surprise' and was all cryptic like it was something really exciting I'd be...underwhelmed. I wouldn't be mad about it, probably just like 'oh thanks' and if he wanted a bigger reaction for picking up some junk food last minute as my gift for a special occasion he'd be disappointed lol. I think it's a sweet thing to do but not something I'd hype my SO up over.

[BellaRose]

Don't hate on me, but I do own when I am wrong. And I didnt want to be wrong about Ellie not having PCOS.
I was looking back at her first mother's day reaction, which it wasnt a reaction or anything about how they spent Mother's day, more of a tribute to the infertility community. Which was nice. Anyway, this video was in the "suggested videos" section on the side and the doctor at the fertility clinic is very suspicious during Ellie's ultrasound that she does have PCOS. I thought Ellie came into the clinic declaring she has PCOS. It didnt surprise me but then I saw this. I'll link it below. But yeah. Now I do believe she has it by how her doctor is talking to her about it. I think to confirm it they would have needed extra blood tests but because they had a successful pregnancy that round they didnt bother confirming it 100%.

It looks like she's completely forgotten the doctor telling her about false positive ovulation tests too with PCOS. She kept Harping on about having a positive ovulation when SHE KNOWS that her condition can cause false positives.


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[LydiaE]

I haven't been reading this forum for a few days and I normally just lurk but I wanted to say I really hope they don't call it a rainbow baby when they get pregnant again. Ellie probably wasn't even pregnant and even if she was...the baby was microscopic at that point. I know it was very wanted and they were (apparently) very sad about it but that pain is a drop in the ocean compared to a late term miscarriage or even worse, a still birth. I say this as someone who has had a miscarriage at 12 weeks (so a helluva a lot further along than Ellie was), I think it's very disrespectful to compare a 1st trimester miscarriage to the horrible trauma of a still birth and act like you know what that kind of pain is. Yes it's very painful to lose a pregnancy at any stage but they're just not the same. Rainbow babies are supposed to be after a loss and to me a loss implies that your child was big/formed enough to be a child that you could hold in your arms. I know some people might disagree but if you'd had a still birth/lost a living child and you googled 'rainbow baby' and came across these idiots with 2 other children talking about their evap line pregnancy how would you feel?

I agree and many will be incensed if they milk the alleged miscarriage.

I think it's safe to say that many of us have experienced early term miscarriages and it's no picnic, but I'd never complain around a woman who lost her late term baby, experienced stillbirth or infant death, or lost a child to death at any age.

I know someone who experienced a miscarriage early in the pregnancy and she cruelly told a woman who had recently lost her four year old daughter that she shouldn't complain because she'd been lucky enough to love her baby for the four years.

I'd say Ellie would be the type to be more sentimental about a miscarriage than her living sons, but I do not think she cares all that much about anyone. I think she's just one of those women that likes to experience pregnancy and the attention she receives. Her sister Ruby seems to be the same way.

[pirateayy07]

I've seen many people on various internet platforms have this type of discussion and it is so disheartening to see such a divide in the pregnancy loss and still birth community.

While I am in the camp that believes Ellie was not pregnant at all, and agree using the term rainbow baby wouldn't be appropriate for her...

I would never have the audacity to say to a woman that the grief of a 32 week loss is greater than her 11 week loss. The lesser of a gestation does not negate a woman's grief over the loss of the human life growing inside of her. Simply because we never know WHAT it took (mentally, physically, financially, spirtually) for that child to be conceived and whether they'll ever have that opportunity to bear a child again.

It comes across like "my baby's beating heart that stopped mattered more than yours because mine was bigger."

This is absolutely in no defense of E&J it just completely blows my mind to know people think this way.

[luci417]

I've seen many people on various internet platforms have this type of discussion and it is so disheartening to see such a divide in the pregnancy loss and still birth community.

While I am in the camp that believes Ellie was not pregnant at all, and agree using the term rainbow baby wouldn't be appropriate for her...

I would never have the audacity to say to a woman that the grief of a 32 week loss is greater than her 11 week loss. The lesser of a gestation does not negate a woman's grief over the loss of the human life growing inside of her. Simply because we never know WHAT it took (mentally, physically, financially, spirtually) for that child to be conceived and whether they'll ever have that opportunity to bear a child again.

It comes across like "my baby's beating heart that stopped mattered more than yours because mine was bigger."

This is absolutely in no defense of E&J it just completely blows my mind to know people think this way.

Maybe it takes being through it to know but I really believe it does. I had an early-ish miscarriage with my first pregnancy and we were heartbroken. But I've had a friend who miscarried at 22 weeks (I'm not sure if it qualifies as a stillbirth at that point) and a relative who sadly had a stillbirth and although I've never experienced it myself...the agony of it was horrific to watch. I'd say the difference is, I lost a pregnancy. They lost a child. One is a loss and the other is a death. Although we were so sad at the time, we went on to have 3 healthy children and tbh I don't think of my miscarriage in the same way I think of my living children, if one of them died my world would end and it wasn't the end of the world when I lost my pregnancy. Really I can't believe anyone would have the audacity to say their loss is just as much at 11 weeks as a couple's loss at 32. Even if you went through a lot to conceive that child it's just a different kind of pain.

ETA: I just want to reiterate that both situations are horrible and while I don't think they're comparable, my heart does go out to anyone who has had a miscarriage no matter how early. I know how hard it is and I wouldn't wish either situation on anyone.

[boredmamaneedsdrama]

I've seen many people on various internet platforms have this type of discussion and it is so disheartening to see such a divide in the pregnancy loss and still birth community.

While I am in the camp that believes Ellie was not pregnant at all, and agree using the term rainbow baby wouldn't be appropriate for her...

I would never have the audacity to say to a woman that the grief of a 32 week loss is greater than her 11 week loss. The lesser of a gestation does not negate a woman's grief over the loss of the human life growing inside of her. Simply because we never know WHAT it took (mentally, physically, financially, spirtually) for that child to be conceived and whether they'll ever have that opportunity to bear a child again.

It comes across like "my baby's beating heart that stopped mattered more than yours because mine was bigger."

This is absolutely in no defense of E&J it just completely blows my mind to know people think this way.

Completely agree. Sure, all losses are different but some people make it seem like it's a competition. Let people grieve their babies how they want, geez.

[gopedjane]

I've seen many people on various internet platforms have this type of discussion and it is so disheartening to see such a divide in the pregnancy loss and still birth community.

While I am in the camp that believes Ellie was not pregnant at all, and agree using the term rainbow baby wouldn't be appropriate for her...

I would never have the audacity to say to a woman that the grief of a 32 week loss is greater than her 11 week loss. The lesser of a gestation does not negate a woman's grief over the loss of the human life growing inside of her. Simply because we never know WHAT it took (mentally, physically, financially, spirtually) for that child to be conceived and whether they'll ever have that opportunity to bear a child again.

It comes across like "my baby's beating heart that stopped mattered more than yours because mine was bigger."

This is absolutely in no defense of E&J it just completely blows my mind to know people think this way.

Maybe it takes being through it to know but I really believe it does. I had an early-ish miscarriage with my first pregnancy and we were heartbroken. But I've had a friend who miscarried at 22 weeks (I'm not sure if it qualifies as a stillbirth at that point) and a relative who sadly had a stillbirth and although I've never experienced it myself...the agony of it was horrific to watch. I'd say the difference is, I lost a pregnancy. They lost a child. One is a loss and the other is a death. Although we were so sad at the time, we went on to have 3 healthy children and tbh I don't think of my miscarriage in the same way I think of my living children, if one of them died my world would end and it wasn't the end of the world when I lost my pregnancy. Really I can't believe anyone would have the audacity to say their loss is just as much at 11 weeks as a couple's loss at 32. Even if you went through a lot to conceive that child it's just a different kind of pain.

ETA: I just want to reiterate that both situations are horrible and while I don't think they're comparable, my heart does go out to anyone who has had a miscarriage no matter how early. I know how hard it is and I wouldn't wish either situation on anyone.

Did I miss something? If Ellie was even pregnant it was a chemical pregnancy and somewhere between 3 and 4 weeks mark. Where is the 11 weeks coming from? I am sorry but there is a big difference between a chemical pregnancy and 32 week loss. My son was born at 32 weeks. The further along the harder it is and I think that is obvious. Not to negate that it is a loss.

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