C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by Playsinrain »

lmmomSD wrote:
Playsinrain wrote:I'm not trying to disregard others opinions in that ^ statement btw, it just made me a little bummed that my original post was turned into the whole they have so much help, they should have known being a parent would be hard ect kinda discussion. That wasn't the intent of my comment. Alas! Continue on!! lol
I did say that her feelings are her feelings, and that they're definitely valid, no matter how much help they have. I also do think though, that as true as that is, they still have it easier than a lot of parents. And they did scoff at people telling them it was going to be harder with two.
I do feel that Katie is more relatable when she's like this, because it _is_ real. We do all feel like we're never doing enough. At least most parents I know feel that way, no matter how much they may try to hide it.
But talking about how hard it is, when you're winding up a mall trip by yourself, and having gotten your nails done, does take some of the relatability away.

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I do get what you are saying, but I also think that we all have made her emotions in her talk into something it really isn't (myself included) I don't think that she got upset over her mental struggles as a parent (feeling overwhelmed, guilty etc) I think she was just super emotional over him turning 1, and that spilled over into an overreaction of sorts over him being a difficult baby and feeling guilty about her frustration with it. When I get into one of those emotional mom moments everything will make me cry. They do have it easier than many many many other parents. I agree! I just hope she finds peace in herself soon Bc I really feel like she's having a difficult time balancing her grief for their losses and the emotions that parents have.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by Ducklings4 »

whys0seri0us wrote:
RootBeerFloatie wrote:I think it serves them right for all the bragging about how easy MG was, and implying that other parents were doing it wrong rather than them just having an easy baby. Two parents at home while one kid goes to grandma's and the other is only recently mobile... Do they really expect anyone to feel sorry for them? They're so out of touch with reality. If they keep it up they'll bore and alienate the tiny bity of audience that they have left.

Personally, I hope Brooks runs them ragged. They could use the exercise.
This.

I'll never understand why some vloggers get away with shit that others don't. Missy complains that Finn isn't a good sleeper and she's torn to shreds. Katie does it and it's "oh poor Katie." I think they both need a huge reality check. They both have more help then any person I know in real life and also have both parents home.

I get the guilt Katie feels, and yea kids are tough. But I don't feel sorry for her (or any other vlogger in her position.) Not even slightly.


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Was Katie really complains about how hard it was? I thought she was crying because all the feelings came back with Brooks' upcoming Birthday and the song that was always on when she had her miscarriages. I think they realize and are smart to realize that having two kids is harder than having one. Brooks is not Gaines and having another right now would be difficult, but not impossible.
She has also said she feels guilty when she does not spend time with her kids because she wanted them so much and when she is not with them she felt she was not appreciating all she was blessed with. I am sure when she is not giving both kids the same attention she feels guilty. Both her kids are at a demanding age so I am sure she feels torn. Those feelings don't go away when you have help. Those feelings probably increase. I am glad she acknowledges her feelings. As opposed to Ellie and Jared who seem to want to jump back in with both feet when they are already in over their heads with how the handle their boys. Cullen and Katie do not show favoritism which is why she feels guilty not giving both kids all of her. My apologies for rambling. I guess 25, 23, and 21 years ago I felt the same way and I had help. BTW tomorrow is my oldest's 27th birthday maybe I have the same feelings Katie is about Brooks' birthday.


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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Playsinrain wrote:
lmmomSD wrote:
Playsinrain wrote:I'm not trying to disregard others opinions in that ^ statement btw, it just made me a little bummed that my original post was turned into the whole they have so much help, they should have known being a parent would be hard ect kinda discussion. That wasn't the intent of my comment. Alas! Continue on!! lol
I did say that her feelings are her feelings, and that they're definitely valid, no matter how much help they have. I also do think though, that as true as that is, they still have it easier than a lot of parents. And they did scoff at people telling them it was going to be harder with two.
I do feel that Katie is more relatable when she's like this, because it _is_ real. We do all feel like we're never doing enough. At least most parents I know feel that way, no matter how much they may try to hide it.
But talking about how hard it is, when you're winding up a mall trip by yourself, and having gotten your nails done, does take some of the relatability away.

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I do get what you are saying, but I also think that we all have made her emotions in her talk into something it really isn't (myself included) I don't think that she got upset over her mental struggles as a parent (feeling overwhelmed, guilty etc) I think she was just super emotional over him turning 1, and that spilled over into an overreaction of sorts over him being a difficult baby and feeling guilty about her frustration with it. When I get into one of those emotional mom moments everything will make me cry. They do have it easier than many many many other parents. I agree! I just hope she finds peace in herself soon Bc I really feel like she's having a difficult time balancing her grief for their losses and the emotions that parents have.
And for the record, I think it's wonderful that her parents and Grandberry are so involved. My dad loved being a grandpa. He lived too far away from my sister's kids to really get involved, and died when I was pregnant with my second. I only wish he could have had the time with my kids that Katie's parents and Grandberry get. I don't intend to sound like I am snarking about the times they take the kids. And you are exactly right. Missy complaining is very different from Katie.
I just roll my eyes at anyone with all their help (Missy or Katie) saying they're exhausted and that it's hard. Even if to them,it is. I just know too many people who have it really hard (single moms working two jobs,etc) to take that with any kind of belief.

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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by lmmomSD »

And may I just say, props to you, PlaysinRain, for staying relentlessly civil! I appreciate how you never throw shade at posters, you just state why you disagree. Just so you know, it is noticed.

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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by Playsinrain »

Ducklings4 wrote:
whys0seri0us wrote:
RootBeerFloatie wrote:I think it serves them right for all the bragging about how easy MG was, and implying that other parents were doing it wrong rather than them just having an easy baby. Two parents at home while one kid goes to grandma's and the other is only recently mobile... Do they really expect anyone to feel sorry for them? They're so out of touch with reality. If they keep it up they'll bore and alienate the tiny bity of audience that they have left.

Personally, I hope Brooks runs them ragged. They could use the exercise.
This.

I'll never understand why some vloggers get away with shit that others don't. Missy complains that Finn isn't a good sleeper and she's torn to shreds. Katie does it and it's "oh poor Katie." I think they both need a huge reality check. They both have more help then any person I know in real life and also have both parents home.

I get the guilt Katie feels, and yea kids are tough. But I don't feel sorry for her (or any other vlogger in her position.) Not even slightly.


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Was Katie really complains about how hard it was? I thought she was crying because all the feelings came back with Brooks' upcoming Birthday and the song that was always on when she had her miscarriages. I think they realize and are smart to realize that having two kids is harder than having one. Brooks is not Gaines and having another right now would be difficult, but not impossible.
She has also said she feels guilty when she does not spend time with her kids because she wanted them so much and when she is not with them she felt she was not appreciating all she was blessed with. I am sure when she is not giving both kids the same attention she feels guilty. Both her kids are at a demanding age so I am sure she feels torn. Those feelings don't go away when you have help. Those feelings probably increase. I am glad she acknowledges her feelings. As opposed to Ellie and Jared who seem to want to jump back in with both feet when they are already in over their heads with how the handle their boys. Cullen and Katie do not show favoritism which is why she feels guilty not giving both kids all of her. My apologies for rambling. I guess 25, 23, and 21 years ago I felt the same way and I had help. BTW tomorrow is my oldest's 27th birthday maybe I have the same feelings Katie is about Brooks' birthday.


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Very well put, and I am the same. Even to this day with my kids being teens and tweens I STILL feel guilty when my kids are away from me. I've gotten better as they have gotten older, but that guilt was always compounded even more when my kids were with someone else. I know I keep saying it but I really think Katie especially is dealing with some mental health strain (I don't want to say issues anything like that, at least not yet...) with the long term repercussions of parenting after infertility. This is actually something I'm finding quite interesting. It would be interesting to know what sort of studies and findings have been made on how losses and infertility effects a person after they become parents. I'm sure that in some aspect it changes they way you parent a child.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by Playsinrain »

lmmomSD wrote:And may I just say, props to you, PlaysinRain, for staying relentlessly civil! I appreciate how you never throw shade at posters, you just state why you disagree. Just so you know, it is noticed.

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Thank you Immom :) I really enjoy debating and trading opinions, I don't enjoy fighting and bickering and snottiness. There is a huge difference and I really enjoy that most times, at least in the forums I regularly read and participate in, we all pretty much get along even if our opinions differ. I've lost my cool a few times, but I try to keep things civilized. I appreciate your (and most everyone here) ability to respectfully disagree at times as well!!! :)
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by bunny88 »

In my opinion, I don't agree that Katie can't say she is having a hard time. Yes there are lots of people out there that have it worse, but that doesn't change the fact that Katie is struggling.

"Saying you don't have the right to be sad because someone has it worse is like saying you don't have the right to be happy because someone has it better."

I really like that quote because it reminds me that while it is good to have perspective on your life and your problems, it is also good to remember that your feelings are valid. To use a previous example, the single moms working 2 jobs aren't homeless moms with five kids. So by that logic, the single mom working 2 jobs has it "easy" in comparison.

Just something to think about. (Not wanting to fight or argue, just stating my opinion)

P.S. If Katie was complaining non stop, I may feel differently. However, I do not feel like she does.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Trying to avoid a long quote tree, but I imagine loss would color your parenting style. It's different, but if you watch Bratayley, since their son Caleb died, they give the daughters just about everything they want, and have slacked way off on discipline, all in the name of "celebrate life". I had thought maybe that had something to do with the way Bryan and Missy spoil Ollie, but they don't do the same with Finn. And it's going to be very interesting to see how Joan the IVF grant winner from E&J's Pain Olympics parents if she's able to become a parent.
And on the kids growing up too fast end of things, it's awful! I blinked, and my baby was in basic training for the National Guard! If you're new parents, don't blink, whatever you do. And not just because of weeping angels, lol.

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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by Playsinrain »

bunny88 wrote:In my opinion, I don't agree that Katie can't say she is having a hard time. Yes there are lots of people out there that have it worse, but that doesn't change the fact that Katie is struggling.

"Saying you don't have the right to be sad because someone has it worse is like saying you don't have the right to be happy because someone has it better."

I really like that quote because it reminds me that while it is good to have perspective on your life and your problems, it is also good to remember that your feelings are valid. To use a previous example, the single moms working 2 jobs aren't homeless moms with five kids. So by that logic, the single mom working 2 jobs has it "easy" in comparison.

Just something to think about. (Not wanting to fight or argue, just stating my opinion)

P.S. If Katie was complaining non stop, I may feel differently. However, I do not feel like she does.
Thank you for saying this. This is exactly what I was going to say but couldn't find the words to say it. You put it very well.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by 3BoysandaLilMiss »

I feel for her and I often feel the same way..
doesnt help I'm also coming up to my daughters 1st birthday..

loss does something to a person (its hard to explain) but no matter what your never the same person you where before

I'm a prem mum and had multiple losses and I can be fine one minute
then a song from that time or handwash smell similar to the used in hospital, birthday's/due dates ect
it brings it all flooding back and its like your back there
and everything you felt at that time comes back like your reliving it

does it get easier... yes
but do you forget.... no

as this quote says "Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s fine. It’s not their journey to make sense of. It’s yours."

we shouldn't say she has no right to feel like she does as its her journey not ours..
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by HelloSweetie »

I can admit to parenting differently after a loss. My oldest son was a dream baby and came fairly easy despite Endometriosis. My second child was a struggle, and was conceived after a long road of repeat losses and years of IF. I could relate to what Katie was saying about time moving slowly while struggling in such a big way. We fought so hard to have a healthy baby, that once he was here I felt like I could never complain or ask for help. He was wanted, and a crazy part of me was paranoid to let my guard down and forget that for a second. I get the impression that Katie doesn't complain about how needy Brookes is for this same reason. Yes she's at home with him all day, and yes she has it easier than most, but it can still be hard. I'm a stay at home mom for the most part, and being home with my needy son 24/7 can be mentally taxing. Sometimes working a few hours a day here and there is actually like a break. I definitely feel guilty though, like I'm not taking full advantage of the time that I've been given.... I know this probably won't make sense to most people, but for me at least I can definitely see where Katie may be coming from.

Missy is different because I really don't feel she's caring for her children in the same demanding 24/7 way. I feel like she phones it in most of the time (no pun intended) and isn't putting the same effort into talking to me entertaining her kids as Katie does.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by askeptichere »

I can respect that Katie is confessing to having a hard time, and she has every right to have those feelings. Every mom gets stressed, every mom feels guilt, and every mom goes through hard times. I won't belittle those feelings she's having, but it doesn't necessarily make me able to relate to her any better. If her mental health is suffering I hope she would recognize it and get help. She needs to start taking better care of herself. Not just focus on her children.


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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Honestly, I think she's bored. She has this advanced degree that she worked so hard for, and maybe I am projecting, but as much as she wanted to be home, I think she's missing working. Maybe I'm just projecting. But if that's the case, plus she feels guilty when she's away, because she wanted these kids so badly, she needs to find a balance or she is going to get depressed. She used to be a bit of a counter to Cullen's goofiness. Now she just cackles like he's the funniest thing she's ever seen, and does things like waxing his back hair for a prank. It's concerning.

And I never said she has it "easy". Being a parent is hard, even with help. But yes, she does have it easier. As does even the single mom working two jobs vs a homeless mom. It's all perspective. And being grateful for what you do have goes a long way. And I don't mean like Ellie with her "be happy!"" BS. Only responding because my post was referred to. I also said a few times that her feelings are valid, and her problems are hers and important to her.
Not going to beat the dead horse anymore. Just felt compelled to answer.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by usernamessuck »

Can we talk about how frustrating it is to be with two little kids all day? Maybe she is realise stay-at-home mom isn't what she wants to do right now. Being with your kids all day everyday when just one is super demanding makes anyone want to pull their hair out. Add to that a pre-schooler who also wants endless attention and it's a lot to put up with. Maybe Katie is realizing she misses working just a little bit. (Or maybe not. I'm just assuming).

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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by Shorty02 »

I'm a huge Disney fan and I'm super jealous that they're at the D23 Expo. I would love to go to that someday!


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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by wishes »

Parenting is hard, so so hard. I get Katie's feelings. My baby girl was so wanted for almost 2 years and now I developed PPA (post-partum anxiety) when I'm left alone with her for some time. I'm happy I work to get the break I need and Katie doesn't really have that. Sure, she sends Gaines to her family's house but she also has Brooks to take care of. I'm sure her family would gladly take both of them but then guilt arises. I'm quite envious of her for having family so close by, what I would do to have my family close to by to help a little bit. I'm just relieved they're finally seeing how not all kids are easy like MG was.

Everyone is entitled to their feelings and good for her expressing it to the viewers that it isn't all rainbows and unicorns.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by wishes »

So she does leave notes for her own parents about Brooks, that's good!
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by wishes »

Waiting a few more years until both of them can remember to go to Disney parks will be so much better when they can remember the experience and like they said, spend a week there exploring all the parks.

Seems Katie loves the YT job business, lol.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by askeptichere »

japaluvr wrote:Waiting a few more years until both of them can remember to go to Disney parks will be so much better when they can remember the experience and like they said, spend a week there exploring all the parks.

Seems Katie loves the YT job business, lol.
Yes, if they only plan on doing Walt Disney World once, it's best to do it when the kids can do everything and stay a whole week. My family goes quite often, so for us it's amazing taking them as soon as they can walk and experience the magic through their eyes as they grow.
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Re: C&K: Golf Carts and Thunderstorms. Part #12

Unread post by wishes »

askeptichere wrote:
japaluvr wrote:Waiting a few more years until both of them can remember to go to Disney parks will be so much better when they can remember the experience and like they said, spend a week there exploring all the parks.

Seems Katie loves the YT job business, lol.
Yes, if they only plan on doing Walt Disney World once, it's best to do it when the kids can do everything and stay a whole week. My family goes quite often, so for us it's amazing taking them as soon as they can walk and experience the magic through their eyes as they grow.
Ah yes, true. We don't live anywhere close to either the CA or FL one, so going for a week is a definite must with older kids. I went when I was 13 for the first time and I still remember it! I necessarily wouldn't wait that long but yeah.
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