NEED ADVICE My friends treat me like crap

[thewordalive]

so I suffer with mental illness and this is why these two issues are a problem for me. I hate walking around with the anger.
I'm.so angry and so depressed I literally can't concentrate, it's so disssruptuve. I asked to talk to my one friend but it's obvious she's avoiding it. like she said it wasn't a good time but after that time passed she wouldn't say "hey I'm free" and she's done this before.
I'm just so tired of being told "you know I'll ALWAYS be here to talk to you" it's such bs.
call me old school but when I'm really depressed I find it really difficult to just text. I need to communicate my feelings through like a phone call and it's obvious my friend is ovoidng it and it makes me feel like crap.

I'm also having and issue with another "friend" who treats me like absolute crap but the problem is I can't confront them because this person doesn't listen to how others feel. if you tell them how you feel. they'll scoff "Oh my god" as if you're stupid and wrong for feeling that way and as if you're ridiculous and I'm just not putting up with thst again.
This even begin to cover all the things this person does to me.

They also enjoy humiliating/ embarrassing in front of a bunch of others telling them how I owe them money etc, and of course because it makes me look bad I'm frantically trying to defend myself so they then sit there laughing because they find it amusing.

They also like to rip on me all the time for saving money, which I don't understand. but the fact that they constantly bring up my money really bothers me. It's a long story but it has a lot to do with my rough childhood
but anyhow they constantly claim it's just a joke but I'm so sick of it I'm gonna snap and it's not going to be pretty.

I want to separate myself from this person however I owe this person dinner. The problem with that is whenever I offer to take this person out they only want to do things on their time and go to places that THEY WANT to go. I moved to the other end of the city to be closer to college and they always say that they way my choice and that they don't have to come see me so I have to come downtown to come to them. I'm honestly.so tired of this and I'm about to just tell them if thst getting their money back is so important that they need to spot being selfish because I've visited them a bunch of times.

The anger is festering and it's just getting worse and I know I can't have this in my life.


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[Kryptonite]

I am like you and much prefer phone calls with friends over texting but unfortunately most people prefer to multitask and text. Phone calls do often take up a lot of time. Perhaps try talking to them about it in person if you can? A happy medium of some sort?

Sometimes it's difficult for people to understand something that they don't deal with on a daily basis. It's a lot to ask them to listen and understand something foreign to them. However, their behavior is upsetting. There is a difference between simply not understanding and being conscious of your friend's feelings. It sounds like your friends are ignorant and need some educating on mental illness. They should be more aware of how their words are affecting you.

You're never 'wrong' for feeling how you feel. All feelings are valid even if someone doesn't understand them.

If your friends are saying negative things to and/or about you, in addition to essentially telling you that your feelings are invalid, that is a major problem. That is not something a true friend would do. If I were personally you, I would cut the cord from them. Owing someone something doesn't necessarily mean you must continue contact with them. I would send that person the money you'd planned to use for dinner and cut off all lines of communication.

If people are bringing you down purposefully, there is no place for them in your life. You don't need that negativity festering. As you said yourself, your anger is becoming worse and worse and eventually you will explode. It's better to either talk to them about the situation or cut them out of your life than to have a major blow up that ends in even more anger.

Best of luck to you!

[thewordalive]

Someone had suggested a gift card which I think is a great idea. I think I'll just get them that.

In terms of the other stuff, it's super frustrating because I'm fully aware that what this person doing is so not right.
I'm the type of person where I like to talk out any issues I'm having but this person i think just doesn't give a crap.
The weird thing Is I've honestly never seen this person show any kind of empathy towards anybodys feelings. The only time she thinks someone did a kind gesture is if they do something materialistic
she herself seems to only buy people's affection maybe because she really can be quite a nasty person.
I'm really starting to think this person is a narcissist.
Anytime they say anything rude and I ask them about it it's always "Oh it's a joke"

Since I've moved away I think I definitely can now cut this person off.
When I tried to before they got mad that I distanced myself and basically forced me to be their friend again.

I hope the gift card idea works but knowing them they may throw a fit.

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