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Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Re: Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Postby Anniekins » Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:06 pm

Oh, I hate hearing "I need adult interaction." I do activities with other moms and kids all the time. I don't go crazy staying at home because I'm always doing something, we're out and about a lot.

I've worked and stayed home. I find staying home easier overall. I hated juggling my home and my work. My work just wasn't as important to me anymore. I was lucky in that I was able to afford to quit my job. I understand some moms have to work and some moms choose to. I don't think there's anything wrong with childcare, my son was in it for over 2 years. For our family though, my staying home works better for all of us. It's really what works best for you.
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Re: Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Postby gypsophila » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:49 pm

I guess I can understand needing the adult interaction. When I needed that, I volunteered at the kid's school, as soon as my oldest hit kindergarten. We didn't have a PTA, but we had a parent council that got together and did all kinds of events/activities for and at the school. By being part of the council, you got to know the principal(s) and teachers on a more personal level too. Schools always need volunteers. It actually took up a lot of time and energy, but it was worth it, and did provide for some networking as well.
“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”- Buddha
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Re: Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Postby sleep84 » Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:29 am

There's no right and wrong solution for everyone, what's right for one can be very wrong for another. My mom screwed her life over when she got pregnant young, quit job, school, stayed at home with the kids. Then, bad marriage, not enough money, life happening, that didn't turn out well.
For other people the same situation turned out really well, wealthy, happy, fulfilled, everything.

I'd say that one more element to consider is if it would be possible to get back on track if things go south. Think of Jeni. You need a plan B in case you need one. Even just the possibility of a safety net.
Like, you want to be a stay at home mom (hello labels.. :D) if things happen in your marriage, your income goes to pot, do you have enough to get right back up? Or are you completely dependant on your situation always working out like that?
Like, your marriage fails, so your whole life fails as well?

If it's really fully your choice it's great, but if you don't want to quit your job, if you'd give up too much personal safety , or you'll miss it, or regret quitting it , or it's important to you, maybe you studied 15 yrs to do it.. "I should have done...I shouldn't have done..coulda woulda shoulda.."
Those are very bitter things to regret.
Be happy, keep yourself happy, that's the best guarantee for a child.

You are just as allowed to like working and being a mom than a man is allowed to keep wanting to work when he has kids.
How come it's still judged if a woman wants to have her career and job on top of a family..and not for a man?

Then there are practical financial reasons. Sometimes if you keep working and you need to put your baby(ies) in daycare before they are 3 (private and expensive), unless you have a high payed job you end up working just to pay for daycare.

Whichever schedule, organization your family has, - dad works, both work, mom works, mom does the house chores, get help handling the house etc. two people are the parents. It's both of the parents responsibility (if there are two, obviously).

I wholly agree with Shameless and BlackBetty. Also, I think it's great for a child to see their parents active in the world (mind you, this doesn't imply having a job or not, it's about you keeping your individuality as a woman, as a person whether you work or stay at home).

What do I mean? I mean that you don't have to give up something you really want and makes you happy in order to be a good mom.
Mostly, your kids need you to be happy. Of course don't neglect them, be there for them emotionally etc.
Whichever option you choose for your family kids are happy and strong and well balanced as adults when they are raised by strong happy well balanced people.
Taking care of what works best for you, takes care of your kid's future happiness.
up all night, got demons to fight
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Re: Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Postby staceybrax » Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:08 am

I'm a stay at home mum and I prefer it that way. I work a couple of hours a week in the crèche at my gym for a little extra cash to go into our savings to buy a house but it's only like 9 hours a week and I can take my kids with me. I am studying fitness online so I will be a qualified personal trainer by the end of the year, so when my kids are in school I'll be able to work within school hours and not have to stress about before and after school care and during school holidays they can go into the crèche if I have clients. I can also work early in the morning before they're even awake and at night when their dad is home from work. It's flexible. But I would be perfectly happy to never work again lol.
There is no point in me going to work while my children are young, my entire wage would go to daycare fees. I live in a mining town in Australia and it would cost me around $130 per day for my two kids to go to daycare so it's not even affordable. My 2.5 year old does go to daycare one day a week and he LOVES it and he is completely wrecked at the end of the day and has like a 4 hour nap the day after catching up because he goes the hard at daycare, I don't think he would cope going full time if I was to full time. Most people up here use nannies or au pairs because it's more affordable but I don't think I would feel comfortable with that.

I think daycare is a great option if you don't have a choice but to work, but I don't know why you would choose to, if you can stay home. I think studying is a great option while staying home with your children, it gives you options for if things to go south and you do need to return to work.
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Re: Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Postby mommyoftwogirlsca » Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:23 am

I work two jobs and we can't afford for me to stay home.i work in a daycare and my youngest goes to a different center. I thank goodness got paid maternity leave and got to be home for a year. Love being a
Canadian lol. I think that it's great to stay home but I personally think moms should have education and job experience. Cause I know a few moms who depend on guys and if anything ever happen they would be screwed. My mom always taught me to not depend on a guy.
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Re: Working vs. Staying At Home - The Great Debate

Postby TaylorKnows » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:40 pm

I don't see the issue with being a working mom. Some people do need the adult interaction. This is going to sound snarky, but not everyone is you. Some parents have a better relationship with their kids because they can get out of the hosue and be away from them. Vise versa for SAHMs. Some parents thrive being around their kids all day.

I don't know, my mom was a hell of a lot more tolerable after a day of work vs. when I had breaks and had to go to work with her and we'd get sick of each other. Now she works from home and I look forward to leaving the house for my other job and classes. I love her, but we're not the type that can function together all day long, trapped in the house.
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