GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by STF2000 »

mia0212 wrote:
STF2000 wrote:Mia, in response to your last post, of course I think people can change for the better. It happens all of the time. But how can you fix something when that person doesn't think anything is broken? Jess and Chris LAUGH about him pulling a knife and she even admitted that it's a running joke in their house to call him Stabby (there's a screen shot of that comment somewhere around here). Does that sound like someone to you who has acknowledged their violent behavior and changed for the better? You can't justify pulling a knife on someone, laugh about it and then also say that you've been treated for that behavior and you're all better now. You have to first recognize that it was wrong in the first place. Jess and Chris don't sound like they think it is. Apparently cheating on someone warrants them getting a knifed pulled on them...
I did see that screen shot... I took them laughing/joking about calling him Stabby more of an eff you to the nickname made about him. Not necessarily as a joke about what he actually did. More like scoffing at the people who gave him the nickname... Maybe because they know those people don't know the whole story. I get the impression they feel like it's none of our business & they don't care what we think.


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Oh they definitely care. At least Chris does, considering he himself has replied to people's comments before. Sure they could have just posted that picture to poke people's buttons and laugh about it, even then, was there really a reason to justify it though? "Oh, Chris walked in on his bitter ex wife cheating on him and drew his knife to scare everyone. No big deal!"
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by mia0212 »

STF2000 wrote:Mia, if your daughter (hypothetical daughter if you don't have one) came up to you and told you her boyfriend/ex pulled a knife on her because of x, y, z, would you tell her that he's just being immature and people make mistakes? Would you defend him just because his family and friends looove him and no one else has said he's done that before? Abusers can be the most charming people on the planet and once their abusive ways comes to light, people can't believe it because of how they presented themselves to everyone else. Sure Jess' family loves him, but keep in my mind they barely know him, just like Jess barely knows him. He COULD be a nice guy, but he also couldn't be either. It makes sense to be concerned of his past though.
It would depend on my daughter... Her age, her judgement of people, I'd have to get to know him (I'd be very cautious/watch the guy very closely) & it would depend on what x, y & z reasons were. I would for sure say there would be no way in heck I'd let him live with me. I do agree she doesn't know him well & she's rushing things.... but I'm also the type of woman who does not need a man to feel complete. I have no problem being single (I actually have been for over 2 years & this isn't the first time). BUT!! most women aren't like me & so many women do what Jess does so I almost feel like I'm the odd one really haha. I feel like some of you are being really harsh towards her for doing something that MOST women do.


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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by KittyKax »

I just don't understand what the stinkin rush was for! It's not like her last wedding when she was pregnant, and they already live together so why did they feel the need to get married so quickly?! She acts like people never stay engaged for more than 6 months.

And btw just because most women act like Jessica doesn't mean it's okay, but we're extra critical of Jess because she has FOUR children involved;children that have already experienced father figures leaving them multiple times. These are very critical developmental times for these kids, it's her choices that's going to affect them for the rest of their lives!
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by HeavenOnlyKnows »

I'm being really harsh on Jessica because as someone who was nearly murdered in a domestic violence situation, ALL the signs are there that he has the potential to be dangerous. And you know what? Even if I am wrong about him, even if we are all wrong about him- WHY would she still take a chance on him when that means putting her kids at risk? She cannot possibly know him well enough to bring him into her kids' lives- she simply hasn't known him long enough to be 100% sure that he's a good guy. Instead of taking people's warnings to heart and taking things slow, she's moved him in with her kids. And that's fucked up.

The more I think about it, the more I think she's rushing to marry him because she wants baby #5 BUT she'll be embarrassed to get knocked up again unless she does it the "right" way, which in her mind means married. I think she thinks he's all she can get right now so she's settling for the first guy who will have her so she can breed in wedlock. Instead of putting her existing kids first, she's putting herself first, which isn't surprising but it's incredibly sad.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by mia0212 »

HeavenOnlyKnows wrote:Personally, I think Jessica is a self-absorbed, entitled brat with Daddy issues. She may have some mental health issues, or she may just be your run of the mill not nice person. Who knows? But Stabby, mark my words that man is not right in the head. I would LOVE it if he stands her up at the altar. Not only because I think she deserves to have her "perfect" day ruined, but it honestly would be better for her and her kids if they don't end up together.
What's your opinion on Drake? Maybe we'll agree on that one lol


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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by KittyKax »

Oh and btw most sane 23 year olds don't marry someone they've only known for a year lol(much less have 3 marriages before 25)
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

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mia0212 wrote:
STF2000 wrote:Mia, if your daughter (hypothetical daughter if you don't have one) came up to you and told you her boyfriend/ex pulled a knife on her because of x, y, z, would you tell her that he's just being immature and people make mistakes? Would you defend him just because his family and friends looove him and no one else has said he's done that before? Abusers can be the most charming people on the planet and once their abusive ways comes to light, people can't believe it because of how they presented themselves to everyone else. Sure Jess' family loves him, but keep in my mind they barely know him, just like Jess barely knows him. He COULD be a nice guy, but he also couldn't be either. It makes sense to be concerned of his past though.
It would depend on my daughter... Her age, her judgement of people, I'd have to get to know him (I'd be very cautious/watch the guy very closely) & it would depend on what x, y & z reasons were. I would for sure say there would be no way in heck I'd let him live with me. I do agree she doesn't know him well & she's rushing things.... but I'm also the type of woman who does not need a man to feel complete. I have no problem being single (I actually have been for over 2 years & this isn't the first time). BUT!! most women aren't like me & so many women do what Jess does so I almost feel like I'm the odd one really haha. I feel like some of you are being really harsh towards her for doing something that MOST women do.


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Why would it depend on your daughter? Nothing she'd do would justify having her spouse pull a knife out on her. I really don't mean to be rude; you've said you've seen crazy stuff. Have you gotten therapy for the things in your past? I feel like maybe your perception of things could be a little "off" because of things you've seen in your past that may have skewed your idea or normal and acceptable behavior. Look, no one here really cares if she wants to date other people. We care that she involved her 4 very young, impressionable children into a relationship she has with a virtual stranger and decided to move him in, let him play a fatherly role when they've been dating a few months and then marry him not long after. She had only been divorced a few months when they got seriously involved. Do most women really do that? Have multiple children, divorce multiple times and get married right after their most recent divorce? Cuz I hope they wouldn't. And just because something is common, doesn't make it right. You should take a look on the divorce statistics on 1st, 2nd and 3rd marriages... it's not pretty.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by KittyKax »

STF2000 wrote:You should take a look on the divorce statistics on 1st, 2nd and 3rd marriages... it's not pretty.
If what i remember from Family/Relationship Sociology is correct 3rd marriages have a 75% chance of ending in divorce. So basically they're screwed.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by mia0212 »

STF2000 wrote:
mia0212 wrote:
STF2000 wrote:Mia, if your daughter (hypothetical daughter if you don't have one) came up to you and told you her boyfriend/ex pulled a knife on her because of x, y, z, would you tell her that he's just being immature and people make mistakes? Would you defend him just because his family and friends looove him and no one else has said he's done that before? Abusers can be the most charming people on the planet and once their abusive ways comes to light, people can't believe it because of how they presented themselves to everyone else. Sure Jess' family loves him, but keep in my mind they barely know him, just like Jess barely knows him. He COULD be a nice guy, but he also couldn't be either. It makes sense to be concerned of his past though.
It would depend on my daughter... Her age, her judgement of people, I'd have to get to know him (I'd be very cautious/watch the guy very closely) & it would depend on what x, y & z reasons were. I would for sure say there would be no way in heck I'd let him live with me. I do agree she doesn't know him well & she's rushing things.... but I'm also the type of woman who does not need a man to feel complete. I have no problem being single (I actually have been for over 2 years & this isn't the first time). BUT!! most women aren't like me & so many women do what Jess does so I almost feel like I'm the odd one really haha. I feel like some of you are being really harsh towards her for doing something that MOST women do.


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Why would it depend on your daughter? Nothing she'd do would justify having her spouse pull a knife out on her. I really don't mean to be rude; you've said you've seen crazy stuff. Have you gotten therapy for the things in your past? I feel like maybe your perception of things could be a little "off" because of things you've seen in your past that may have skewed your idea or normal and acceptable behavior. Look, no one here really cares if she wants to date other people. We care that she involved her 4 very young, impressionable children into a relationship she has with a virtual stranger and decided to move him in, let him play a fatherly role when they've been dating a few months and then marry him not long after. She had only been divorced a few months when they got seriously involved. Do most women really do that? Have multiple children, divorce multiple times and get married right after their most recent divorce? Cuz I hope they wouldn't. And just because something is common, doesn't make it right. You should take a look on the divorce statistics on 1st, 2nd and 3rd marriages... it's not pretty.
As I said, it would depend on her age, judgement, etc. I'm currently in therapy. I wouldn't doubt if my perception is a little off... I have encountered a lot of mental, emotional, sexual & physical abuse in my life (all throughout it, most of it as a young child but also in my adulthood. I'm 26, btw) One thing every single person who has done any of those things to me has had in common is that they endured some kind of abuse as well. It's just like you guys are saying about her kids... You feel for them. They may end up screwed up because of the decision she is making but she & Chris are probably just a product of the same things they (the kids) are going through. Maybe if these people are shown some kind of compassion they won't be so quick to defend themselves in a nasty way. I have just always found it odd that people always care about protecting the kids but when those kids grow up to act in the only way they have ever known people just treat them like damaged goods. Just another statistic, maybe they need to hear that they can do it & people are rooting in their favor instead of always hearing they are going to fail. I'm probably not making much sense to you guys.


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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by STF2000 »

Here's a quick excerpt from an article about 2nd and 3rd marriages. I did a quick Google search, I'll see if I can post the link.

"One common explanation is that a significant number of people enter a second or marriage 'on the rebound' of a first or second divorce. Often the people concerned are vulnerable; they do not allow sufficient time to recover from their divorce or to get their priorities straight before taking their vows again. They enter their next marriage for the wrong reasons, not having internalized the lessons of their past experience. They are liable to repeat their mistakes, making them susceptible to similar conflicts and another broken marriage follows."

This sounds like Jess did exactly that.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by Context101 »

My goodness.. gone all day and come back to a war zone basically. I know there's a whole thread for title suggestions, but I vote for Say yes to the mess! Ya know, if Chris decides to show up. He did put "maybe" on Facebook :P
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by sugarbee »

Context101 wrote:My goodness.. gone all day and come back to a war zone basically. I know there's a whole thread for title suggestions, but I vote for Say yes to the mess! Ya know, if Chris decides to show up. He did put "maybe" on Facebook :P
Oh man, he actually said "maybe" to his own wedding?! I thought that was just a joke on here!! Who does that?!
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by STF2000 »

mia0212 wrote:
STF2000 wrote:
mia0212 wrote: It would depend on my daughter... Her age, her judgement of people, I'd have to get to know him (I'd be very cautious/watch the guy very closely) & it would depend on what x, y & z reasons were. I would for sure say there would be no way in heck I'd let him live with me. I do agree she doesn't know him well & she's rushing things.... but I'm also the type of woman who does not need a man to feel complete. I have no problem being single (I actually have been for over 2 years & this isn't the first time). BUT!! most women aren't like me & so many women do what Jess does so I almost feel like I'm the odd one really haha. I feel like some of you are being really harsh towards her for doing something that MOST women do.


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Why would it depend on your daughter? Nothing she'd do would justify having her spouse pull a knife out on her. I really don't mean to be rude; you've said you've seen crazy stuff. Have you gotten therapy for the things in your past? I feel like maybe your perception of things could be a little "off" because of things you've seen in your past that may have skewed your idea or normal and acceptable behavior. Look, no one here really cares if she wants to date other people. We care that she involved her 4 very young, impressionable children into a relationship she has with a virtual stranger and decided to move him in, let him play a fatherly role when they've been dating a few months and then marry him not long after. She had only been divorced a few months when they got seriously involved. Do most women really do that? Have multiple children, divorce multiple times and get married right after their most recent divorce? Cuz I hope they wouldn't. And just because something is common, doesn't make it right. You should take a look on the divorce statistics on 1st, 2nd and 3rd marriages... it's not pretty.
As I said, it would depend on her age, judgement, etc. I'm currently in therapy. I wouldn't doubt if my perception is a little off... I have encountered a lot of mental, emotional, sexual & physical abuse in my life (all throughout it, most of it as a young child but also in my adulthood. I'm 26, btw) One thing every single person who has done any of those things to me has had in common is that they endured some kind of abuse as well. It's just like you guys are saying about her kids... You feel for them. They may end up screwed up because of the decision she is making but she & Chris are probably just a product of the same things they (the kids) are going through. Maybe if these people are shown some kind of compassion they won't be so quick to defend themselves in a nasty way. I have just always found it odd that people always care about protecting the kids but when those kids grow up to act in the only way they have ever known people just treat them like damaged goods. Just another statistic, maybe they need to hear that they can do it & people are rooting in their favor instead of always hearing they are going to fail. I'm probably not making much sense to you guys.


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I do understand what you're saying and I'm sorry for all you've gone through. I have no doubt abuse is a vicious cycle that can and does repeat itself.

I hold adults to different standards than children though. Most adults know right from wrong and in Jess and Chris' case, I have no doubt they know some of their choices aren't exactly right. They choose to look the other way when people bring up valid points about their life. Maybe I do need to have more compassion, but compassion can only go so far. At some point, you can be enabling bad behavior, like Jess' mom does. The truth hurts and I don't find it unreasonable to call people out on the shit they do wrong sometimes.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by Context101 »

sugarbee wrote:
Context101 wrote:My goodness.. gone all day and come back to a war zone basically. I know there's a whole thread for title suggestions, but I vote for Say yes to the mess! Ya know, if Chris decides to show up. He did put "maybe" on Facebook :P
Oh man, he actually said "maybe" to his own wedding?! I thought that was just a joke on here!! Who does that?!
If you watch her "65 days til 'I do' video" she says it starting at 45 seconds into the video :D I'm kinda hoping he's not joking :rofl: I don't wish anything bad on Jess, but Chris leaving would be better for the kids..
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by HeavenOnlyKnows »

I don't believe in playing the victim card. If Mess and/or Stabby went through horrible things in their childhood I can sympathize because I did too, but that's where it ends. Having a messed up past does NOT give people the right to treat other people poorly, and it certainly doesn't give them the right to create children and then willfully choose to not provide the best life for them. If they want to break the cycle of dysfunction they can go to therapy, read self help books, join support groups, etc. As adults they are (hopefully) self aware enough to recognize that they are not happy, and they have to tools to try to fix it. Kids don't. That's why I feel compassion for the kids who are stuck in this situation and not the adults.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by Context101 »

Abuse is abuse, no excuse. As a parent, your job is to love, teach, nourish, and protect your kids. Her knowing Chris' past and STILL moving him in relatively fast was not smart on her part and certainly not safe for every person who lives in that mess. We have seen him lash out at people on Instagram numerous times. He has anger issues. It's not just "one court document" that is making us think this. On top of that, him & Jessica both joked about the incident. It's immature. And to think these people are raising innocent little humans :roll:
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by STF2000 »

HeavenOnlyKnows wrote:I don't believe in playing the victim card. If Mess and/or Stabby went through horrible things in their childhood I can sympathize because I did too, but that's where it ends. Having a messed up past does NOT give people the right to treat other people poorly, and it certainly doesn't give them the right to create children and then willfully choose to not provide the best life for them. If they want to break the cycle of dysfunction they can go to therapy, read self help books, join support groups, etc. As adults they are (hopefully) self aware enough to recognize that they are not happy, and they have to tools to try to fix it. Kids don't. That's why I feel compassion for the kids who are stuck in this situation and not the adults.
This! ^ You said it be much better than I did/could.
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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

Unread post by mia0212 »

I guess I'm just an empath. I think it's obvious WHY people are for children more than adults, that wasn't my point. Some adults just don't have the tools to act as you expect them. I feel like some of you are committed to not seeing my side. Just because you have gone through hard times & got through them doesn't mean you should walk around with a chip on your shoulder. Not everyone is as strong as you are... Also, with that logic then don't worry about the kids... They'll grow up to be adults & know right from wrong... just like you ;)


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Re: GabeandJesss/ SkubeyDoobeyDoo Who Are You? Part 58

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mia0212 wrote:I guess I'm just an empath. I think it's obvious WHY people are for children more than adults, that wasn't my point. Some adults just don't have the tools to act as you expect them. I feel like some of you are committed to not seeing my side. Just because you have gone through hard times & got through them doesn't mean you should walk around with a chip on your shoulder. Not everyone is as strong as you are... Also, with that logic then don't worry about the kids... They'll grow up to be adults & know right from wrong... just like you ;)


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You were the one who couldn't understand why people have more compassion for the children than they do the adults. We gave our reasons why we feel differently towards adults. Obviously not everyone's situation is the same, some adults are bound to fail themselves and their children. It's the world we live in. But when I say most know right from wrong, it's true. Many people KNOW they are making poor choices and refuse to acknowledge it and do it anyway. That is wrong no matter how you spin it; I really don't see how you can argue that. I'm not committed to ignoring your point, I can see where you're coming from but I honestly don't agree at all.
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