Britneyandbaby Part 3

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VolcomCherry
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by VolcomCherry »

Has she started daycare with aria yet? I know there was talk ? Think she was worried about the judging but I agree with her 100%
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by VolcomCherry »

Has she started daycare with aria yet? I know there was talk ? Think she was worried about the judging but I agree with her 100%
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by mandylouwho »

She's mentioned dropping her off at daycare before appointments. But then she picked her up after. I don't know if she only uses day care when she needs it or if it's just a half day sort of thing. I took my 2 year old to all my appointments up until the end when I was having biweekly NSTs.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by placebo »

In Finland, early daycare is very controversial. If you don't work or study, then there should be no reason for daycare until your child is 4-5 unless it is backed by CPS for mother's mental health issues.

I don't know why people think early daycare is beneficial. Up to age 4-5 or even 6, the parents are perfectly capable of offering enough activities and stimuli. Finland also supports mothers staying home with their children up to child's 3rd birthday by paying support money. Every mother is entitled to apply for it.

If a mother just wants to have a break.. Family, friends, anyone?

Though, that being said, I admit I know nothing of foreign daycare systems. Here, one daycare worker, for example can have 4 kinds under the age of three under their care. In some daycares, that's up to 21-26 kids in one group, especially if they fall under the range of 3-6. There is no way the workers can offer a child the same attention a mother would and the rules of jungle law do apply to an extend.

Personally, I feel very lucky to have been able to keep Sira home for so long, and when she did go to daycare when I studied, the experience was mostly negative. At six, most kids here go through year before school, usually four hours a day to practice school structure. They practice basic maths, finnish, arts, sports. Of course play time is still heavily combined. This was a very positive experience for us both :)

In few weeks she will start school and I have no doubt she will fit in despite her diagnoses.

Now, I am aware this might cause a shit storm. I just don't understand why make more babies if you're just pawning them off to daycare. Maybe someone can enlighten me about US system and perhaps even change my mind about it?
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by JennaLuvBug »

I use daycare (but I work) I have family that can watch her but OMG that was a disaster. They want to do things their way, and I have a certain way I do things. It was MORE stressful on me to leave my daughter with family. At daycare they HAVE to do as I say because that is what I pay them for and I AM her mother. My family didn't see it like that. They were of the "we did it this way with you" and thats great but I am also 25 and times have changed.

In my daughters room it is 12 month olds- 24 month olds and their are 5? students to a teacher. She probably doesn't get as much one on one time as she does at home or with family but I am okay with that. It has taught her a little independence when I need to go off to the bathroom. Before daycare I couldn't do anything without her. Even though she isn't 1 on 1 all day I can tell they spend a lot of individual time with her because she adores every one of her caretakers. (she is shy with strangers) Sometimes they tell me how they took just her to sit up at the front desk if she was having an off day.

Would I send her to daycare if i wasn't working? Maybe one half day, but probably not.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by HelloHolaHallo »

I agree that when you're a stay at home mom there's no need to send your child off to daycare the entire day 5 days a week that kinda defeats the purpose of staying at home but I see benefits in sending your child a few times a week. I'm not sure exactly how often Aria goes to daycare but when my child is 3 he/she will attend daycare/preschool (KITA as they call it here) 2 times a week for 3 hours. For my it's important my child socialize with other kids. Not only that but being in a trilingual family I will only speak to my child in Spanish and her father in English so we want her to learn German in school.


On a side note I haven't found out the sex of my baby and I just recognized I referred to the baby as "her" OMG lol!!!!!
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by placebo »

Yeah, but stay at home parents are perfectly capable of offering the children a chance to socialize by taking them to parks, hobbies, etc. That is enough for small children. Just my opinion though :)
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by Ambrosia »

I let my daughter go 3hrs at a time after my son was born last October, only because he was a high maintenance baby and my supply was so low when I wasn't nursing and holding him, I was pumping. I felt terrible like she was getting enough attention until my husband was home and could focus solely on her. Now he's older and it's much easier because they play together, and he will actually take a nap so we can spend time together.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by JennaLuvBug »

I am not pulling my daughter out when I have my son. (She is enrolled full time, she can go up to 40 hours a week) I will be on maternity leave, but I don't want to disrupt her schedule we have spent the last 2 years perfecting.

I think it will be easier on me, and her if she stays in daycare when I have him. She wont go the full 40 hours, but it will be nice to have it as an option.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by placebo »

Kids adjust to new schedules fast.

You are saying you'll keep her in daycare because it will be easier on you? Why did you make more babies if you feel two kids is hard when one of them is a baby? At worst, your daughter will have worse jealousy because she sees she has to go somewhere but the baby doesn't. Who knows, it might not happen at all.

In Finland, many stay at home moms do the same. And it's tax payers money in most cases that pays the daycare. It's one more reason for me to resent the system we have.

Many Lindseys here that pawn their kids to daycare because by law, the right is subjective. You see them tanning, shopping, etc & taking care of the baby while the older children are at daycare. Some of them don't even have babies and they still pawn their kids off. I understand I might be biased here because of where I was born and how our system is, but I firmly believe any child is better of with their mother/father provided there isn't a medical or psychological condition with the parent that stays home.

I have full respect to parents that work to support their families, but in stay at home case.. Why stay at home at all if you have to pawn even one of your kids off? If it's just few hrs a week.. Why not go to play groups? Park? Hobbies?

I'll drop the topic from my end. Have a nice day! :)
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by JennaLuvBug »

placebo wrote:Kids adjust to new schedules fast.

You are saying you'll keep her in daycare because it will be easier on you? Why did you make more babies if you feel two kids is hard when one of them is a baby? At worst, your daughter will have worse jealousy because she sees she has to go somewhere but the baby doesn't. Who knows, it might not happen at all.

In Finland, many stay at home moms do the same. And it's tax payers money in most cases that pays the daycare. It's one more reason for me to resent the system we have.

Many Lindseys here that pawn their kids to daycare because by law, the right is subjective. You see them tanning, shopping, etc & taking care of the baby while the older children are at daycare. Some of them don't even have babies and they still pawn their kids off. I understand I might be biased here because of where I was born and how our system is, but I firmly believe any child is better of with their mother/father provided there isn't a medical or psychological condition with the parent that stays home.

I have full respect to parents that work to support their families, but in stay at home case.. Why stay at home at all if you have to pawn even one of your kids off? If it's just few hrs a week.. Why not go to play groups? Park? Hobbies?

I'll drop the topic from my end. Have a nice day! :)
No, it will be easier on HER. She took a while to adjust to daycare... so pulling her out, and putting her back in would be hard on HER. I've had to do it before when she had a surgery. I am going to pull her out during the holidays but not before. Like I said, she wont go the full 40 hours she goes now, but I pay for them, and I also pay for her meal plan so if she just goes for breakfast or lunch that is fine with me and then I will go and get her. (It is literally a block away)

Mat leave here is only 3 months... so yeah, keeping her in for those 3 (well more like 2 if you count the few weeks she will be completely out in Dec, and Jan) months really isn't a big deal. (I am due Nov 3rd. She will be out from Dec 10, to Jan 10)

And to answer your question, this baby was not planned by my husband or I. I am in no means ready (as I have stated several times on another board). So if a couple of hours at daycare helps me keep my sanity and keep my depression at bay then that's what it will be. I had a very hard time postpartum with her. If I was a SAHM she wouldn't go to daycare, but I am a woking mom so keeping my lifestyle in line with that while I am on leave is very very important to me. I have to try and work to get both of my kids onto our schedule we have spent the last 2 years perfecting. If I can keep 1 of them on, then that will make things easier.


I highly doubt getting my nails done, or anything other than housework will be on my agenda since I will not be receiving an income. I am undecided if I am even going to take a full leave. (I took 4 months with her, although I had to have surgery in month 3)

We do spend a lot of time together now even though I work. If I get off early, or have a weekday off she comes home. Same with her dad... if he gets off early he has her. She also spends time with my family... sometimes my grandma likes to keep her instead of me sending her to daycare.

I think it is just difference of how things are. If I could I would be a SAHM. (maybe ;) )
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by placebo »

I did not in any part discriminate against those with medical conditions :) But it is a sad fact there are people who do it for the wrong reasons. In Finland, you get state support up until child is three years old. Anyone, no matter what their income, receives this if they apply for it and in most cases it is enough to get by though it is cutting from where you can. Of this, I am extremely grateful, but our daycare system is highly flawed.

Still, if everything checks health wise and someone decides to be a SAHM or SAHD, then they should not use daycare to have easier time. Literally, so many parents in Finland abuse the system it's not even funny :S
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by JennaLuvBug »

It does here too. My poor nephew is at daycare from open to close. His mom doesn't work. She takes just 1 class!

I take my daughter at the last possible second to where I won't be late and pick her up ASAP! I much rather her be with me. But, she's gotta go :(. When it comes down to it I can't see her going too much when I have this baby. She's such a little helper she will wanna stick around and help lol.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by Dumbledore »

I don't think Britney is getting gov't assistance for daycare though. I think the only assistance she might be getting is health insurance. So if she rather pay the daycare to watch aria 2-4hrs a couple days a week than to ask a relative to babysit, I don't think its a big deal. It's obvious she takes an active role in parenting Aria, I don't think she putting her in daycare just to pawn her off. She put her there during a vlog and it was only during her doctor appointment (1hr), when Nolan comes along who knows if anyone will be able to help her while she tries to adjust to breastfeeding. Maybe her family doesn't live close by? not everyone has a strong support system.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by staceymj »

I'm a stay at home mum and I put my oldest into daycare one day per week. For socialising, education, his independence and my sanity. We live across the country from our families so them helping isn't an option and in summer it is too hot to be going to the park and things and being a rural mining town there's not a whole lot of other options. He loved it and he has learnt heaps so I think it's great. And I don't really get a huge break because I still have my daughter everyday as I don't feel she is old enough to go yet.
Would I send him everyday? No. I don't agree with that.
Anyway, I can't see a problem with britney sending aria a couple of hours a week, she's obviously a full on child and she loves interacting with people and if aria enjoys it than why not?!
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

Unread post by Wagurl »

After working in a daycare with more than 70+ children at a time in our center for over 5 years, I know exactly what Jennalovebug is saying. It is VERY hard for kids to adjust to schedules. It's hard enough when kids have a 3 day weekend and then come back to daycare/child care/school after the weekend. If a kid stays home with mom for a week, let alone months, it's going to be very hard and confusing for the child when they go back. The kids don't understand why their schedule was changed and then changed again. I found that it works better for parents to leave their kids in childcare while on maternity leave. It's hard enough on the child to adjust to a sibling, but adjusting to a new schedule and home life is even harder. Also, even if I do become a SAHM, my children will be in some sort of part time program. I know a lot of people look at the negatives of childcare, but there are positives. Children learn faster, in different ways, they learn life skills and skills that prepare them for the future. Their senses are exposed to so much more at childcare. Where I work, we have two mandarin speaking ladies and a couple spanish who are teaching the children and letting them learn their cultures. It's amazing how beneficial daycare or childcare programs can be.
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Re: Britneyandbaby Part 3

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