Precious Calvin the favored child

staceymj
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by staceymj »

I don't watch the vlogs, and if I do i tend to skim through them because I can't handle the screaming from Ellie. Does Calvin speak? I don't think I've ever heard him say anything he just whines. By 18 months he should be able to say a few words, mum, dad, please, ta etc.


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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by nutbagmcgee »

Today she said Calvin was going to talk, he didn't. I don't think he says much, he just shrieks and screams.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by jaynshann »

You know l hate to say it but l am starting to get this vibe from watching Calvin in the vlogs that makes me think he has some special needs. He's definitely speech delayed. You know if he had any words yet they'd of taped it. My cousins son acted exactly like him...super super huggy, no sense of personal space/boundaries, and shrieked just like Calvin. He's now 8 yrs. and still completely non verbal. Oddly he has the same kind of teeth as Cal (even as baby.) I hope l am wrong but l used to teach special ed., and l saw it with my cousins baby before anyone wanted to admitt it. Calvins neck issues/tight muscles could be part of a syndrome. Also his episodes where his breathing stopped as a baby. Ellie has said "Calvin is special and different and needs more attention. l give him what my instincts tell me he needs" way back before his 1st bday. Even down to the fact that they say he outeats sometimes even adults( l think her words were up to 4x as much as Jackson) can, when coupled with other signs point to special needs. Sometimes people with special needs lack the signal in their brain that tells them they're full. My cousins 8yr old weighs 110 lbs because of it. It wouldn't shock me if they have been told that he has a diagnosis and they're just not sharing it. There is something off about that kid. Hmmm

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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by ellay »

jaynshann wrote:You know l hate to say it but l am starting to get this vibe from watching Calvin in the vlogs that makes me think he has some special needs. He's definitely speech delayed. You know if he had any words yet they'd of taped it. My cousins son acted exactly like him...super super huggy, no sense of personal space/boundaries, and shrieked just like Calvin. He's now 8 yrs. and still completely non verbal. Oddly he has the same kind of teeth as Cal (even as baby.) I hope l am wrong but l used to teach special ed., and l saw it with my cousins baby before anyone wanted to admitt it. Calvins neck issues/tight muscles could be part of a syndrome. Also his episodes where his breathing stopped as a baby. Ellie has said "Calvin is special and different and needs more attention. l give him what my instincts tell me he needs" way back before his 1st bday. Even down to the fact that they say he outeats sometimes even adults( l think her words were up to 4x as much as Jackson) can, when coupled with other signs point to special needs. Sometimes people with special needs lack the signal in their brain that tells them they're full. My cousins 8yr old weighs 110 lbs because of it. It wouldn't shock me if they have been told that he has a diagnosis and they're just not sharing it. There is something off about that kid. Hmmm

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I also sense that something is wrong with him other than the neck problem. His physical appearence itself kind of tells me there's something off with that kid. I guess the next years will tell us but if he is disabled Ellie will never tell us. Did they ever check with a doctor to see if his brain didn't suffer while he stopped breathing?
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by MommaLindsey2 »

It's funny because there was a time when the barely showed Calvin in the vlogs. Ellie only showing Calvin attention is kind of new thing. There would be an entire vlog when they didn't even show Calvin back when they were hiding his neck brace.


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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by WTFoxtrot »

staceybrax wrote:I don't watch the vlogs, and if I do i tend to skim through them because I can't handle the screaming from Ellie. Does Calvin speak? I don't think I've ever heard him say anything he just whines. By 18 months he should be able to say a few words, mum, dad, please, ta etc.


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Thank you, I've asked this same question several times over the past few months, but with pretty much zero experience with kids, I didn't know if it was "normal" or not that he seems non-verbal. Maybe I just started asking too soon, but I've thought it rather odd that E+J have never even mentioned him having said many words, if any at all. There was a time he said "hi," on camera, & Ellie practically cried. Haven't heard it from him since! Other than that ONE hi, I've heard nothing but shrieks & screams from him. At least they taught Jackson several "words" in sign language before he really spoke, you never questioned what Jackson had on his mind, because he communicated-- be it verbally or with sign language. You'd think if Calvin knew these things, they'd show them off like he's a circus animal: "Calvin, say...." this, that or the other thing. But there's none of it. Just screaming & shrieking!

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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by RecklessDisregard »

I heard the "hi" too, and know that he can sign a few things. I've been kind of on the fence about his verbal development... Intellectual and emotional too. We know at this point that the Griffiths girls tend to have boys that (to avoid using the D-word so many folks hate around here) are "not advanced." Calvin also doesn't have the temperament to let himself be trotted out like a circus animal for the vlog or generally cooperate with "Calvin, say Dada" or other similar requests.

But no... I've never personally known any kids his age who didn't have at least a few words. And I'm certain that E+J would vlog anything that made his development seem on track (and their parenting less questionable).

Many are babblers at that age (and MUCH younger tbh), and will happily/excitedly/nonsensically "tell" you all sorts of things. Those conversations are so much fun. For all the attention Ellie lavishes on Calvin, I feel like she's completely skipping the fun/amusing parts of having an 18-month-old, which includes talking with them all the time, probably in favor of pretending he's still an infant.

I'm sure plenty of people have normally-developed kids whose speech just happened to click into place later than what most think of as average... But if Calvin were my son, I would still want to have that checked out. I guess it is pointless to start the list of things I'd do differently as Calvin's mother, though... It would be one hell of a long list.

As for his food intake as a potential signal that something is wrong... I suppose it's possible. I don't have the training or firsthand experience to discount it. But I can't take Ellie seriously when she says Calvin eats "soooo much." That woman has no concept of normal. She has always eaten like a bird (in her own words). Jared has been trained to eat Ellie-approved portions, and is probably a major snacker anyway. Jackson isn't a big eater at mealtimes either, and will probably wind up having inherited the Griffiths skinny genes (insert "jeans" joke here).

I think Calvin just has a normal appetite. It's entirely possible IMO that he wasn't getting enough to eat when Ellie was exclusively breastfeeding, and that was why he was difficult to deal with, up crying all night at an age when a lot of babies are more settled, etc. Ellie herself got to the point where she was haggard, sick-looking (worse than usual), reported being unable to walk up the stairs... So what nutrition was she passing on to Calvin? Then the bottles appeared, and Jennifer/Jared/etc reported putting him to bed with ease. Well, duh. The kid was finally full. And him continuing as a toddler to need to sign for more, get surreptitious cereal donations from Jackson, etc, seems to me less like a sign that he has a disability (though he very well could) and more like Ellie continuing to underfeed him due to her own warped ideas about serving sizes and probable eating disorder.

I think Ellie should take a class on nutrition, specifically focusing on what/how much to feed her kids as they grow (because going hungry herself is her prerogative, even though it is irresponsible to do as a YT "role model"). Many WIC/SNAP program offices hold classes, and though she wouldn't qualify to actually get WIC or SNAP, they could probably get her into a class or tell her where to find one. Ellie does deserve some credit for preparing healthy, home cooked meals on a regular basis - which is an improvement over most YouTubers and even a large percentage of the population of the US. But when your 18 month old consistently asks for more food, like at every meal, something isn't right with that picture. For most families, understanding serving sizes comes fairly naturally, and as long as children are offered generally healthy meals, they should be allowed to eat as much as they care to. But when the person who does the shopping and meal prep has such an odd relationship with food, a bit of re-education is called for.

Do you guys think she always gives him more? Like when the camera isn't on? Or is she worried about him getting fat? Because that would be seriously disturbed thinking IMO.

It's so bizarre to me that Calvin is blatantly her favorite, the Golden Child, and it STILL seems like she isn't even doing normal, basic things to look after his health. We have the obvious breathing episodes + torticollis that we've been talking about for a year... But the speech thing is odd, and he would definitely benefit from socialization with other children that aren't related to him. Ellie literally has nothing else to do with her life now that the house is finished, other than look after her favorite "baby" - because let's get real, Jackson is Jared's responsibility and she's not going to do jack shit for that puppy. And Ellie has, compared to most moms, virtually unlimited free time and income. By that logic, Calvin should be the most well-fed, well-socialized, active and healthy little boy in Utah. Instead we have... Well, Calvin.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by Theresa »

So, really unpopular opinion here, but I don't think it's weird they put Jackson on a different floor then them. My parents build rooms for my brother and me in the attic when we were three and never had any problems.

My baby sleeps in a room downstairs while my husband and I sleep upstairs; has been so since she was just born. I found that not constantly being near her has made her sleep better than my friends who co-slept with their children through the night. Of course we have a baby monitor, but just the basic one with sound.

Fires and other emergencies are extremely rare and if I remember the layout of their house correctly, Ellie and Jared would likely get Jackson out through his window instead of going all the way through the house.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by lmmomSD »

The other thing they do to Calvin's detriment as far as speech is concerned, is to not encourage him to use his words. He screeches for something, and they give it to him. They never (from what I've seen anyway) say "Ask nicely", or "Use your words" Even if he doesn't know the words for what he wants, trying to talk will help him.

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Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by MommaLindsey2 »

Calvin seems super delayed to me. At his age my older son was speaking short sentences, nothing like Gaines but pretty average for a little boy. Hell my 17 month old is around the same level as Calvin in speech. I know all kids are different but he seems super behind (Jackson seemed the same to me at that age and so does Lincoln so maybe just a Griffiths boy thing)

You are so right about them not encouraging him to talk though. Ellie and Bonnie are really clinging to their youngest staying babies as long as possible.


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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by usernamessuck »

I do find it odd that calvin doesnt say anything. I feel like he should have some words. I dont think it is because he is delayed though. I think it is because he is never encouraged to speak. He doesnt learn to speak because he doesnt have the need to speak for anything because ellie and jared will just hand it to him.

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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by lmmomSD »

usernamessuck wrote:I do find it odd that calvin doesnt say anything. I feel like he should have some words. I dont think it is because he is delayed though. I think it is because he is never encouraged to speak. He doesnt learn to speak because he doesnt have the need to speak for anything because ellie and jared will just hand it to him.

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That's exactly what I was saying. He screeches, and they hand him whatever he's screeching about. They never make him at least try to ask for it.

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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by shewolf_07 »

lmmomSD wrote:
usernamessuck wrote:I do find it odd that calvin doesnt say anything. I feel like he should have some words. I dont think it is because he is delayed though. I think it is because he is never encouraged to speak. He doesnt learn to speak because he doesnt have the need to speak for anything because ellie and jared will just hand it to him.

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That's exactly what I was saying. He screeches, and they hand him whatever he's screeching about. They never make him at least try to ask for it.

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Another disadvantage of being a vlogger's kid. Rather than putting the camera down and encouraging Calvin to use actual words they just hand him whatever he wants while continuing to speak to the camera. They've allowed him to form a terrible habit. He'll just scream for what he wants henceforth. But then again, maybe all the screaming is indicative of a deeper rooted developmental issue. Well, we'll see.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by auntasaurus19 »

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that has been thinking this about Calvin. I don't wish any bad on a little kid, it's just that something seems off with Calvin.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by Boredomatitsfinest »

This is totally personal but, I don't know why I haven't made the connection until now: I have a family friend who treated her daughter the exact same way that Ellie treats Cal - possibly even more so. She had her on her hip literally 24/7. She didn't start forming full sentences until she was 3. No developmental issue whatsoever; purely due to how she was raised and catered to with no need to communicate. She's a teenager now and very bright and completely "normal". (She's not even a brat, surprisingly, lol.)

My point of saying this is that, judging by the way Cal has been raised, it's likely a very similar situation. There's likely no real developmental issue going on. His lack of speech is almost certainly due to the fact that, really, there's no true need/demand for him to communicate.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by actuallydear »

i have an irrational dislike for this child. everytime he appears on my screen i cringe and then skip through. it makes me feel so bad to feel this way about a child, but... when he smiles, i just can't. i have to look away.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by kelsey811 »

actuallydear wrote:i have an irrational dislike for this child. everytime he appears on my screen i cringe and then skip through. it makes me feel so bad to feel this way about a child, but... when he smiles, i just can't. i have to look away.
I cannot believe any sane person would ever write this. You realize you are talking about a child. Whether or not he has a disability is none of your business and they might not even know if he does yet. It's their private life and they don't have to share every part of it. I worked with kids with disabilities and they are the most beautiful humans I have met. All of these comments are horrifying. I don't care if you don't like Ellie and Jared's parenting style.. just don't watch their videos. Keep those thoughts to yourself.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by Edenberry »

kelsey811 wrote:
actuallydear wrote:i have an irrational dislike for this child. everytime he appears on my screen i cringe and then skip through. it makes me feel so bad to feel this way about a child, but... when he smiles, i just can't. i have to look away.
I cannot believe any sane person would ever write this. You realize you are talking about a child. Whether or not he has a disability is none of your business and they might not even know if he does yet. It's their private life and they don't have to share every part of it. I worked with kids with disabilities and they are the most beautiful humans I have met. All of these comments are horrifying. I don't care if you don't like Ellie and Jared's parenting style.. just don't watch their videos. Keep those thoughts to yourself.
"Kelsey"...this is not the YouTube comment section of their channel. This is a page for people to discuss what they like, when they like, how they like. No one has said anything horrid or abusive. Most is just speculation and genuine concern. If you don't like it, don't read here.
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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by lmmomSD »

She said she feels bad about it, and 7 people (including me) liked her comment, so obviously others of us feel that way too. We're not happy about it, but there it is. There's somethIng about him that's off putting. Part of it is the result of Ellie obviously favoring him. No need to bash AD for it.
My daughter has special needs, and she's beautiful to me. But I wouldn't have uploaded footage of her screeching and expected everyone to love her.

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Re: Precious Calvin the favored child

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Ellie posted an IG story with a turtle swimming, and she says "Hi baby turtle! You make me miss my Calvin!" No word about missing Jackson...

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