J Squared

Scar2016
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Re: J Squared

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''I sure do love my Bon Bon'' Joel thought to himself as the surgeon finished up the suture on his under foot. ''But she's been SO busy lately, what with her awesome new clothing line and taking four months to find the perfect couch. Golly, my Dolly never stops'' he thought. ''Most people would take a few days to find a couch but I know my Bon Bon and her standards and four months and nothing less for her to get her perfect couch is why I love her so.''

The surgeon leaves the room as Joel sits up on the operating table waiting for instructions on how to look after the wound. He can't help feeling disappointed that Bonnie won't be coming to pick him up from the clinic due to her high powered career, but he understands as he waits for her sister Ellie instead. A nurse enters the room with an after surgery care sheet and tells Joel someone's arrived and waiting in reception to take him home. When he enters reception he's surprised to see Jared sitting there with a bigger grin than the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Jared jumps up and bounds over to Joel enthusiastically, and in a high pitched sing song voice exclaims ''Hey good lookin, what ya got cookin?'' and proceeds to nudge and wink at Joel in a 'joking' manner as though it's their own private joke. Joel looks a little embarrassed by this display but smiles and laughs in the jocular manner he's become accustomed to when diffusing Bonnie's awkward, excitable or just plain rude moments.

Once in the car Jared tells Joel he's going to be his nurse for the afternoon. ''But I'm not really going to be your nurse nurse Joel'' as he snickers like an eleven year old boy telling a fart joke, ''that would be just dastardly downright stranger than Stranger Things.'' ''I'll be your doctor though'' he says with a triumphant smile. Triumphant because he thought it was genius to have been able to fool Ellie by telling her the doctors outfit he'd recently bought on Amazon was for Halloween this year and he'd convinced her she could dress up as his patient. Little did she know he suggested patient on account of how much time he knew she'd spend in bed once the baby arrived and that the real patient (at least for this one glorious afternoon) would be his Joely.

''Why aren't you taking me home Jared, you were supposed to turn right there?'' Joel looked confused. ''Oh shnucks shmucks Joel, no need to go home today'' replied Jared in an upbeat tone that he just couldn't dilute. ''Jennifer and Bonnie are hard at work on the new cookbook at yours dincha know. Bonnie asked if I could let you recover at my house til tea time (Jared crossed his fingers surreptitiously so that Heavenly Father didn't hear his lie and Joel couldn't see it).

They pull into Jared's driveway and then garage and Jared can barely contain his e̶r̶e̶c̶t̶ excitement as he hops skips and a-jumps around to Joel's side of the car to help him out. Oh the touch of Joel's rough manly working hand against Jared's smooth lily soft palm is almost too much for Jared as he involuntarily let's out a small shudder of joy. Luckily Joel is wincing from putting weight on his foot and doesn't hear him. Jared proceeds to put his arm around Joel's shoulder as he helps him up the steps into the house through the internal garage door. ''Oh my Hello Kitty's and Snoodle Doodle's have come at once'' he blissfully thinks to himself as he never thought he'd see the day he would be able to put his arm around his one love.

Once inside he helps hobble Joel into the laundry room come bathroom. Jared is still confused what room it is supposed to be but is grateful right now that they have it. He tells Joel to wait there while he goes run the jacuzzi because they need to bathe the wound as per the instruction sheet. Jared leaves and shuts the door behind him and sneaks quietly into his bedroom to make sure Ellie is still sleeping. She was so pleased when he offered to pick Joel up instead of her because SHE'S PREGNANT!!! He knew the boys would be fine playing in the basement alone for another five hours give or take, so this was his exquisite moment with his Joely.

Jared had been careful to only fill the jacuzzi half full and Joel was now ensconced in it, feet splayed up out of the water on the far end wall, either side of an inflatable drinks holder. Jared just couldn't help himself and had to film this moment 'for the vlog.' He asked Joel to hold the camera and film as he began to bathe his sweethearts feet. Unbeknown to them there was a reflection in the base of the Dr Pepper can that Jared had expertly laid flat in the inflatable drinks holder that reflected and filmed the manliness of his hearts desire . . .
I see NapTubers everywhere :coffee:
Scar2016
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Re: J Squared

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*Unbeknown to them should read Unbeknown to Joel.
I see NapTubers everywhere :coffee:
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by RecklessDisregard »

This is really fantastic "fan" fiction!

I think the next step, logically, would be reenactments of pivotal scenes (the churro comes to mind) using Barbie and Ken dolls. There used to be a really excellent blog that did this same thing with Pioneer Woman, just recreating scenes from her photos or descriptions. Now the account has been suspended - probably happened when PW went into business with Mattel to create actual PW dolls & accessories.

Well, that veered off topic, lol. I will have to bite the bullet and watch some of their vlogs, so I can come up with something to add.
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by WhatTheHelloKitty »

I hope that you will forgive me. I just had to try my hand at writing some J squared fan fiction.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared frowned. How did he get here and why was Joely lying on a colourful beach towel sipping a virgin pina coloda in his finest swimwear on a Mexican beach? "Ah well. It makes for one pretty sight. Maybe I should go and get changed so I can join him?", Jared thought to himself, realising that they were the only two people on the beach. This made him so happy he let out a Bonnie-on-Bollie-launch-day-like squeal. “Bonnie?!” Joely jumped up, knocking over his drink. No, Joely, it’s just me, thought Jared as he let out a manly roar and ran to Joel so that he could embrace him in an even more manly hug. Joel noticed who it was and the smile that stretched across his handsome face was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. "This is the best day of my life", thought Jared. “Jared, I can’t believe you’re here”. Joel was still hugging me. His eyes were wide and oh so tender. “I’ve been waiting to tell you something. I think I l-“…

*prrfffttt*

Jared jerks awake, cursing the gassy monster that slept beside him. He caught himself and admonished himself. She was PREGNANT after all. The fact that he hadn’t slept for days because she was gassier than air hardly mattered. At least listening to her fart was better than listening to her try to work out how much Miralax she would need once the baby comes, Jared consoled himself. He was frustrated. His dream had been so vivid, so beautiful. *pffrrrt* Well, fiddlesticks, Ellie, that was quite a smelly one. Jared rolled out of bed and grabbed his pillow. It looked like he would need to sleep on the couch tonight. He'd only recently been allowed back into Ellie's bedroom. It was going to be, once again, a cold night.

As he walked to the couch, he stubbed his toe on one of the ugly velvet ottomans. “Oooff. Oww.” Jared hissed before remembering that his Joely was recovering from a foot procedure. His pain instantly dissipated. The thought of his one true love being in pain brought him the realisation that his own pain was a great way to put himself in Joel’s position and he was grateful. He curled up on the couch. He was content. Thoughts of Joel. Having fresh air to breathe. He was grateful. He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face full of hopes of seeing Joel on the beach once again.

“JEEERRRRR BEAARRRRR, where are you?” Jared shocked awake from the harpy’s screeching. He promptly made his way into Ellie’s bedroom. “Jer, there you are! I slept so well last night. You know how hard it is to get plenty of rest when you’re PREGNANT. I deserve a break. Run me a bath and put the biggest bath bomb you can find into it”. There was no arguing with her. Jared squared his shoulders and got to it with the same level of enthusiasm as he had when he ‘agreed’ to putting most of their life savings into Bollie and when he did the thing with the turkey baster.

Ellie was safely in her Lush bath bitching about the haters (“They just don’t understand that acrylic is NOT plastic”, “That dress is the most perfect dress EVER. It fits me like a glove so how could anyone else think it doesn’t fit them. $100 is just such a bargain.”, “Can you believe that they would want returns?? Like, seriously? Our products are just so high quality.”). She had refused to take part in the filming today leaving Jared a bit unsure of how he was going to pad the vlog. He had been banking on Ellie to rub her belly and talk about her pregnancy. He was thinking back to his dream about Joely. He was feeling so upside down smiley that remembering his dream brought little joy. When he'd fallen back asleep, he hadn't managed to get back to his beach paradise. He caught sight of himself in the mirror. His hair was so not on point! Just another thing to make this just not a great day. He would need to wear a hat today. His reflection was nowhere near as good as the one he saw when he was washing Joely's feet, though, honestly, was there ever a better reflection? He left Ellie and got ready for the day. He patted himself on the back for filming a cute scene with Jackson as he sat down on the couch in the basement. Both kiddos were playing as he got lost in thought planning today's motivational talk.

*bang bang bang* What was that noise? Jared blinked. Jackson was playing near him, but Calvin was nowhere to be seen. *bang bang bang*. There it was again. Jared would need to investigate. He got up and followed the sound to his office where Calvin was whacking his keyboard with a screwdriver. The office chair he was standing on was spinning this way and that. "What a little tyke!", thought Jared as he raced to get the camera. “Jackson! Come here. We’re going to play hide and seek. Let’s go find Calvin!”. Content for the vlog! Jared found himself drooling as he rushed off to film the scene.

Later, after he had gone out for fresh air with sweet Penny girl and ranted at the camera about why people should still watch his videos, he went back in to play a game on his computer only to find that his keyboard was broken. Rotten bananas and tomatoes! That stinker had broken his keyboard. Did that child not understand that you can’t just go potty in toys and break other people’s stuff? He briefly wondered if he should go and play with the boys in the basement before he reached for his phone. He was going to call Joely. He needed his daily fix.
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Re: J Squared

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Scar2016 wrote:''I sure do love my Bon Bon'' Joel thought to himself as the surgeon finished up the suture on his under foot. ''But she's been SO busy lately, what with her awesome new clothing line and taking four months to find the perfect couch. Golly, my Dolly never stops'' he thought. ''Most people would take a few days to find a couch but I know my Bon Bon and her standards and four months and nothing less for her to get her perfect couch is why I love her so.''

The surgeon leaves the room as Joel sits up on the operating table waiting for instructions on how to look after the wound. He can't help feeling disappointed that Bonnie won't be coming to pick him up from the clinic due to her high powered career, but he understands as he waits for her sister Ellie instead. A nurse enters the room with an after surgery care sheet and tells Joel someone's arrived and waiting in reception to take him home. When he enters reception he's surprised to see Jared sitting there with a bigger grin than the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. Jared jumps up and bounds over to Joel enthusiastically, and in a high pitched sing song voice exclaims ''Hey good lookin, what ya got cookin?'' and proceeds to nudge and wink at Joel in a 'joking' manner as though it's their own private joke. Joel looks a little embarrassed by this display but smiles and laughs in the jocular manner he's become accustomed to when diffusing Bonnie's awkward, excitable or just plain rude moments.

Once in the car Jared tells Joel he's going to be his nurse for the afternoon. ''But I'm not really going to be your nurse nurse Joel'' as he snickers like an eleven year old boy telling a fart joke, ''that would be just dastardly downright stranger than Stranger Things.'' ''I'll be your doctor though'' he says with a triumphant smile. Triumphant because he thought it was genius to have been able to fool Ellie by telling her the doctors outfit he'd recently bought on Amazon was for Halloween this year and he'd convinced her she could dress up as his patient. Little did she know he suggested patient on account of how much time he knew she'd spend in bed once the baby arrived and that the real patient (at least for this one glorious afternoon) would be his Joely.

''Why aren't you taking me home Jared, you were supposed to turn right there?'' Joel looked confused. ''Oh shnucks shmucks Joel, no need to go home today'' replied Jared in an upbeat tone that he just couldn't dilute. ''Jennifer and Bonnie are hard at work on the new cookbook at yours dincha know. Bonnie asked if I could let you recover at my house til tea time (Jared crossed his fingers surreptitiously so that Heavenly Father didn't hear his lie and Joel couldn't see it).

They pull into Jared's driveway and then garage and Jared can barely contain his e̶r̶e̶c̶t̶ excitement as he hops skips and a-jumps around to Joel's side of the car to help him out. Oh the touch of Joel's rough manly working hand against Jared's smooth lily soft palm is almost too much for Jared as he involuntarily let's out a small shudder of joy. Luckily Joel is wincing from putting weight on his foot and doesn't hear him. Jared proceeds to put his arm around Joel's shoulder as he helps him up the steps into the house through the internal garage door. ''Oh my Hello Kitty's and Snoodle Doodle's have come at once'' he blissfully thinks to himself as he never thought he'd see the day he would be able to put his arm around his one love.

Once inside he helps hobble Joel into the laundry room come bathroom. Jared is still confused what room it is supposed to be but is grateful right now that they have it. He tells Joel to wait there while he goes run the jacuzzi because they need to bathe the wound as per the instruction sheet. Jared leaves and shuts the door behind him and sneaks quietly into his bedroom to make sure Ellie is still sleeping. She was so pleased when he offered to pick Joel up instead of her because SHE'S PREGNANT!!! He knew the boys would be fine playing in the basement alone for another five hours give or take, so this was his exquisite moment with his Joely.

Jared had been careful to only fill the jacuzzi half full and Joel was now ensconced in it, feet splayed up out of the water on the far end wall, either side of an inflatable drinks holder. Jared just couldn't help himself and had to film this moment 'for the vlog.' He asked Joel to hold the camera and film as he began to bathe his sweethearts feet. Unbeknown to them there was a reflection in the base of the Dr Pepper can that Jared had expertly laid flat in the inflatable drinks holder that reflected and filmed the manliness of his hearts desire . . .
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by RecklessDisregard »

Bravo! I can't imagine sharing a bed with Ellie. Her sheets have to be filthy from wiping snot, absorbing farts, catching the crumbs of all the "little snacks" she digs into once the camera is off and the kids have been put in their beds. Well, I don't know that she eats so much under normal circumstances, but now that she's PREGNANT, anything goes.
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Scar2016 »

Kryptonite wrote:What. Is. This. Thread?
It's a parody thread of Jared's pretend parallel life as an uncloseted non Mormon gay guy ;)
I see NapTubers everywhere :coffee:
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by RecklessDisregard »

Yeah, we are the self-appointed co-captains of the Jared & Joel ship. True love is unsinkable.

At some point, Ellie or one of the sisters described this forum as "fan fiction." We aim to please.
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Re: J Squared

Unread post by Sue_Sceptic »

Could the gifted individuals that made this happen add some more? I am DYING for Jared experiencing this so, so tender moment with Joel at the CVX party. Singing a sappy song together and then the KISS? Omg! pleaseee!
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