E+J: The Lessons of Karma - Part # 31

[lmmomSD]

I actually have PCOS (and endo), and it's shit. I'm so. fucking. tired. of everyone and their mother claiming they have it all over social media because of irregular periods. Soooo many times I've heard people use the excuse "I thought I had PCOS and couldn't have kids" for the reasoning as to why they're unexpectedly pregnant. It's hurtful and fucked. I've had to have surgeries from ruptured cysts, spent thousands of dollars.

Re: painful cysts - Spironolactone and Retin-A. I usually only get one every two-three months with that.

I still have no answer for the hair loss, which I'm pretty sure is mainly due to the fact male doctors don't take me as seriously. From what I understand, I could've had an option at shots long ago, but I was just told "some people lose their hair" Uh huh, yeah, fuck you too, doc. At this point, I'm investing in a wig, which is looking to cost me about 2.5-3k

I hate how I'm a hairy fucking beast from the waist down, but lose it in chunks on my head. Hate this damn disease.

Thank you for this! Omg. I feel you, hard. I'm currently on spiro and the headaches + constantly having to pee, and still fighting break outs is the absolute worst. The whole, "Shiseido cured my PCOS acne" story that Ellie played pisses me TF off. I wish it were that simple. Plus, the thousands of dollars I've wasted on laser hair removal (out of necessity, not just vanity or convenience)..... The clumps of hair I have to make sure to collect every time I wash my hair so that I'm not constantly clogging the drain... It's not glamorous. It's not "SO FUN." It's hell. You're not alone.

Sorry to get all personal, but this is a topic that pisses me off to my core. I related to Ellie in the beginning. I felt that strange bond you feel with a stranger that shares your same pain. And now, as the years have gone by, and she has revealed her true colors and contradicted herself more and more, I feel an odd sense of betrayal. It pisses me TF off.

Y'all are making me well up with tears, because YOU GET IT. And I hate that you even do get it. If I could put PCOS into a human form, I'd offer myself up as a hitman for free, lmao, and I'm not a violent person!

The spiro peeing is so fucking annoying, it's the biggest downside for me. I'm up sometimes every 30-45 minutes while trying to fall asleep peeing. It bothers me less during the day, but is endlessly frustrating at night when I'm just dead dog tired, about to drift off... And then I get the urge. It hasn't helped with my bacne, but it's reduced the number of cysts I get, and seems to have helped with healing time a bit -- I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's not just shitty enough to have a nasty, uber painful cyst perched on your face, noooo, it has to take months to heal where it looks like a purple, round bruise -- thank God for tarte's Shape Tape.

I was never TTC, but always have found family dynamics interesting. When I found E+J, I was interested thinking their struggles may someday be my own. I will admit I looked at her with a critical eye, because, like y'all said, she didn't look like she had PCOS. But, despite that, I've known of a couple of people with formal PCOS diagnoses who don't show most of the symptoms outwardly. Now, I think she may be one of those people who use the 'label' as a source for attention, sympathy, and is mainly self-diagnosed. There's just too many things proving otherwise. It's so hurtful.

I feel lame because this is my Friday night, but my endo is flaring up and I'm in so much pain I'm sweating and retching. Reading and talking with you has made me feel a little better Some days I hate being a woman, for many reasons -- sexism, misogyny, and my constant struggle from the age of 12 with my shitty reproductive system. But one thing I DO love about being a woman is the community and camaraderie we can have in moments like these, that make me feel so damn good -- even when talking about shitty medical conditions. So, thank you guys for that

God, y'all. I feel like I dodged one bullet at least. My sister and niece have PCOS, and I don't, but I did have Endo. Had all that crap taken out at 33. Broke my heart to do it, (talk about "deciding" no more babies) but I was bleeding all the time, and on so much pain medicine. My best friend said "Get it out. The only good thing your uterus ever gave you was your kids" We thought my daughter might have PCOS, but the tests were negative. I can't even imagine having PCOS _and_ endo. Hugs to all of you.
Did you see today's title and thumbnail? They have seriously jumped the shark. This is definitely beyond the valley of good taste. I wonder what Katie thinks of this. Their "friends for life" capitalizing on such a sorrowful event. I was feeling bad for them, but there really is a difference between sharing and using it for attention/sympathy/views. I am so glad you all are here, because I know I would get crucified if I dared express these thoughts in the vlog comments.

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[sweetener]

I cannot deal with the dramatic way Jared vlogs. It's just too much.

I understand that they do this for a living, but I think there are certain times when it's probably better not to vlog. I'm totally all for being open about miscarriages — they're not something that should be as taboo as they are — and I appreciate when people talk about them, how they felt during it, how they felt after, how it affected them, etc. HOWEVER, seeing Ellie sob in the hospital bed after coming out of the D&C... I wouldn't have vlogged that at all. I just think there are moments that should be kept between spouses and that was one of them. My heart breaks for them.

[trumputin]

I have mentioned it, but my doctor is hesitant for some reason. Unfortunately, my hospital is super shitty with allowing me to switch to another to give me care. I was screwed with getting him because I had a large ovarian tumor that needed removal ASAP when I moved here, and he was the only doc open... Women doctors weren't open for 3 months and that wasn't an option for me according to radiologist who looked over my ultrasounds (and it really wasn't, I needed it out). It's to the point where I've considered asking Planned Parenthood if that is something they would be able to do for me, which is ridiculous considering I do have an OBGYN and primary care provider.

Thanks for commiserating with me. I've cried gallons of tears over the hair loss the most. I am half native american, so my hair is very precious to me and a huge part of my family's culture. A lot of people take their hair for granted. I've looked into hair follicle surgeries... But that just grafts hair from other parts of your head, so that's not an option because they're all dying off.

Have you noticed hair regrowth with Metformin, or just a slowing of it falling?

It definitely stopped falling out as much. For awhile there it was coming out in clumps, and I can recall a huge chunk coming out in my hand one day as my 5 year old was there and him looking at me with this horrified look on his face. That's when I couldn't deny that it was getting worse anymore.

I started the Met to help with repeat losses, and it not only regulated my periods somewhat, but allowed me to carry my youngest son. My hair has grown back, but is probably still a lot thinner than most people's. Then again, it's also a lot finer to start with. My Endometriosis is more severe than the PCOS, so while the Metformin doesn't correct all my issues, it definitely helps.

If you are self conscious about the thinner patches, have you considered tattooing? I just recently had my brows microbladed and my Esthetician was telling me about some courses she had just taken on hair tattooing for men that are balding.

I might have to get pushy and creative and possibly call PP then, to see if that would be covered in their services.

I used to have anxiety about taking showers because of the clumps that would fall out as I scrubbed. It was always really hard to get that realization in your most vulnerable state.

I haven't heard about the microblading the scalp, although that's interesting! I'll have to do some research into it. I'm usually not the biggest fan of how microblading looks on the eyebrows from what I've seen on YouTubers -- although I've seen some super nice ones on IG, but it may look better on the scalp. It would allow me to feel more comfortable taking my dog out without needing to use my (future) wig

I'm so glad Metformin has allowed you to have your youngest! Sounds like it's relieved some stress in your life, which is great with shitty health issues that seem to be so relentless.

[trumputin]

You keep saying there is a vlog of them telling them that, but what she actually says is that she has a pattern of cysts that is often seen with PCOS. They did an ultrasound, but we never heard or saw the results of any of the other tests commonly used to confirm. PCOS cannot be diagnosed by ultrasound alone. Regardless, even if she has PCOS, she does not have infertility because of it.

People don't believe the thyroid condition because it has never been mentioned again since, and even when she had the crisis about her low weight she still wasn't going to see an Endocrinologist.

Thank you. Not to mention.... she shows absolutely no symptoms or signs that a typical woman with PCOS struggles mercilessly with, other than her irregular periods (which could be contributed to low BF%) and her "acne." Which, by the way, I'm really curious - have any of you ladies out there with PCOS (or any other hormone-related imbalance that causes acne) cured your painful, cystic acne by using some high-end, non-prescription skin care routine??? That one still throws me for a freakin loop.

Also - and this is an important thing to note - when Ellie cried about being so thin that she didn't even have enough energy to walk up the stairs... what did she do? She went and got a personal trainer and started working out... Hello?? Does that make any sense to anyone?? Sure, she saw a nutritionalist once and started putting a little more effort into her meals (...which was short lived), but STILL. Use your common sense. If you were clinically diagnosed with PCOS and a thyroid condition, and began to feel so weak that you couldn't walk up the stairs, would your first instinct be to go and start working out? Hell. No. You would call your DOCTOR(s) and tell them that you are not doing well at all and probably need to begin/change medication.

Actions speak louder than words - that's all I'm sayin'.

I actually have PCOS (and endo), and it's shit. I'm so. fucking. tired. of everyone and their mother claiming they have it all over social media because of irregular periods. Soooo many times I've heard people use the excuse "I thought I had PCOS and couldn't have kids" for the reasoning as to why they're unexpectedly pregnant. It's hurtful and fucked. I've had to have surgeries from ruptured cysts, spent thousands of dollars.

Re: painful cysts - Spironolactone and Retin-A. I usually only get one every two-three months with that.

I still have no answer for the hair loss, which I'm pretty sure is mainly due to the fact male doctors don't take me as seriously. From what I understand, I could've had an option at shots long ago, but I was just told "some people lose their hair" Uh huh, yeah, fuck you too, doc. At this point, I'm investing in a wig, which is looking to cost me about 2.5-3k

I hate how I'm a hairy fucking beast from the waist down, but lose it in chunks on my head. Hate this damn disease.

You sound just like Ellie and Joan no one has it worst than me. Just because everyone who has pocs isn't a hairy beast doesn't mean they have it less than you. Everyone who has MS isn't in a wheelchair but that doesnt mean they still don't suffer.[/quote]


No, I don't think that at all. I'm just talking about people who think they have PCOS with no formal diagnosis, not saying I have the worst thing in the world. I'm not saying those people aren't experiencing pain or shitty health issues. I don't like participating in the pain olympics, I was just commiserating with fellow posters who experience the same thing. I apologize if it came across that way, as it was never my intent. I'm a strong believer that everyone is entitled to mourn or be upset over whatever their struggles are, no matter how benign it may feel to myself or others.

Just because I talked about my struggle doesn't mean I think it's worse than anyones, it was just simple conversation. No competition here. I already addressed the fact that I know of a few women who don't look like they have PCOS but do in a few posts later.

[greygoose]

"Getting a D&C (Dilation and Curettage) is not the most fun thing to have." in the description box.

Wow. Just wow. I really don't mind people being plain-spoken, but Jared continues to seem so callous, like a total outsider to the situation. It's freaking me out! Then again, everybody grieves differently...

[trumputin]

Jared just tweeted and they aren't skipping a vlog. Instead it's a longer one.

It makes me really uneasy that a lot of kids are going to watch this. That's not even something you want them Googling. I know parents should know what their children are watching, but if they've previously decided E&J are harmless, I'm sure they wouldn't see this coming.

That's really all I can say at this point. I think they're pushing themselves too far. I mean, these vlogs may be a source of therapy for some people who have gone through this and are looking for a YT video of people to relate to. But I also think privacy is a really great thing, especially in times like these that you often have to digest the situation away from other people.

[lmmomSD]

"Getting a D&C (Dilation and Curettage) is not the most fun thing to have." in the description box.

Wow. Just wow. I really don't mind people being plain-spoken, but Jared continues to seem so callous, like a total outsider to the situation. It's freaking me out! Then again, everybody grieves differently...

You mean, it wasn't "So fun!"?
I repeat: they have jumped the shark.

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[HelloSweetie]

They didn't have a loss and keep it secret. Nope. No way.

There would have been a million mentions about Ellie having a hard time and comments suggesting that Ellie deserves sympathy. You don't go this far for attention, yet keep some things private. They should have left the camera at home.

I wonder if they thought she would have a "funny" reaction like Bonnie did post-anaesthesia? If so, he's an absolute moron.

[wonderwoman123]

I have not posted here in a while. I catch up though often. I stopped watching their videos after the fake miscarriage. This current miscarriage very obviously proves that the last one was fake. If you can't see that I don't know how to help you. I had to respond today because I am so disgusted that they would show any footage related to the D & C. It is VERY inappropriate to do this. It only further shows why I cannot watch these horrible people any longer. They put money and views above anything else. Of course they will use the excuse that they are trying to help others who may be going through the same thing. That is BS. Ellie clearly has some mental health issues. This experience and miscarriage will now traumatize her and not help with her mental health at all. Her idiot husband cannot see this. He just keeps adding insult to injury. Clearly they are going to milk this miscarriage for all that it is worth. They know she needs infertility treatment, yet they are just getting pregnant on their own and seeing what happens. It makes me wonder if they are doing it on purpose so they have lots of good vlog footage. Well, it is working. Their numbers are going up once again. It just disgusts me that they will sell out their private lives like that. If anyone still watches them they should really check their values. Money is evil and clearly it is the ruler with Ellie and Jared.

[whys0seri0us]

Everyone keeps talking about the video where she does/doesn't get diagnosed with PCOS. Can someone link it? I started watching after Jackson was born so I have no clue about the vlogs before.


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[menehune]

I have not posted here in a while. I catch up though often. I stopped watching their videos after the fake miscarriage. This current miscarriage very obviously proves that the last one was fake. If you can't see that I don't know how to help you. I had to respond today because I am so disgusted that they would show any footage related to the D & C. It is VERY inappropriate to do this. It only further shows why I cannot watch these horrible people any longer. They put money and views above anything else. Of course they will use the excuse that they are trying to help others who may be going through the same thing. That is BS. Ellie clearly has some mental health issues. This experience and miscarriage will now traumatize her and not help with her mental health at all. Her idiot husband cannot see this. He just keeps adding insult to injury. Clearly they are going to milk this miscarriage for all that it is worth. They know she needs infertility treatment, yet they are just getting pregnant on their own and seeing what happens. It makes me wonder if they are doing it on purpose so they have lots of good vlog footage. Well, it is working. Their numbers are going up once again. It just disgusts me that they will sell out their private lives like that. If anyone still watches them they should really check their values. Money is evil and clearly it is the ruler with Ellie and Jared.

I agree. I am only 30 seconds in and had to come here and comment on Jared's editing. He is so out of the moment its ridiculous. I only got as far as the pouring chocolate milk for the kids, and realized how set up that moment is. He isn't even having a normal morning with his children! He would have set up the camera, grabbed the cups and poured the milk, then moved the camera to the table, went back and got the cups and gave them to the kids, moved the camera again to the other side of the table and then went back to get the bowls and bring them over. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I really think they need the money because they made so many purchases early in the year (like the trailer) budgeting on making (at most) a million a year, and now they are down to $500K. They both need therapy at this point.

[HelloSweetie]

I had never thought of it before, but the way they are monopolizing off this has me thinking that it was E&J's suggestion to shave Jennifer's head. This not only made for great vlog footage, but made it ok for them to talk about Aunt Sonja's diagnosis which they later sold tshirts off of.

They left Bonnie out of it because maybe the idea was floated by her and she said it was inappropriate and they knew not to tell her it was happening.

[kathpt]

This vlog broke my heart. I cried like a baby when she was crying because they made her go through it by herself. So horrible.

[HelloSweetie]

Jared waited so long he had time to drink a Coke? I schedule surgeries and the procedure from the time they go into the OR to the time they are out is 15-30 minutes.

[menehune]

Now I'm at the part with him sadly waiting, and am I alone in saying it just doesn't feel relatable to me? I swear I perceive an underlying giddiness about the vlog potential and financial benefits. Ellie seems more open to vlogging than she has been in a long time.

When I went through the same thing, it was a dark day and I just don't feel the heaviness of the morning.

Plus that scene with the lights off is just totally staged because she was waiting to go into surgery and there was no reason for her to be taking a nap. They bring you in an hour before the procedure for prep.

[foreversoulmates]

Let's throw a tantrum and toss a 800 dollar camera at the wall!!! Seriously! I've had misscarriages. Grow up Ellie!

[MommaLindsey2]

Omg this vlog is the craziest thing I've ever seen. Jared is really cashing in on Ellie's pain. It is a production and you can tell Jared is milking it trying to make as much money as they can off of these miscarriage vlogs.

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[YouTubeIdiots101]

It's all such a staged show. "Let me set up this camera and walk back and forth and look concerned..." Seriously?? Can you not keep anything private and actually real for once?

[littlebaby]

Jared just tweeted and they aren't skipping a vlog. Instead it's a longer one.

It makes me really uneasy that a lot of kids are going to watch this. That's not even something you want them Googling. I know parents should know what their children are watching, but if they've previously decided E&J are harmless, I'm sure they wouldn't see this coming.

They're going to tell us the details of the d&c? Please tell me there will be a warning or something at the beginning. I am also very worried about kids watching this.

I don't know if they are telling the details, but I can't imagine they have anything else they filmed yesterday to make up a longer vlog.

Also, for those that may not know, the D&C procedure is used for abortions so if kids start Googling who knows what they could stumble upon!

So is misoprostol, but they didn't mention that by name so it's totally different from talking/vlogging about a D&C. I'm off to watch the vlog now so we'll see how it goes!


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[HelloSweetie]

This vlog broke my heart. I cried like a baby when she was crying because they made her go through it by herself. So horrible.

You can't have people in the OR with you no matter how special you feel you are. It is a sterile environment, and there are more cases waiting to be done as soon as Ellie's is over. Plus the doctor, nurses and anaesthetists need to be able to concentrate on what they are doing. A D&C may not be an "open" procedure, but any time anaesthesia is used it is serious. Plus she was crying because she was still coming out of the drugs. Jared shouldn't have been filming her on that state if she was agitated.

I felt the same way when Beau was filmed after his knee surgery.