I'm so sorry for your loss.charmed596 wrote:
My dad died this week and I would full on brawl with someone who tried to compare grief. I got 22 years with my dad which is more than a lot get but my grief is obviously still valid. It’s would be incredibly narcissistic to assume otherwise.
I hate the pain Olympics.
John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
I’m so sorry Charmed. We may seem like a bunch of snarky bitches here, but we do have hearts.
((Hugs))
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((Hugs))
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Thank you all so much! We had about a weeks notice and our community has really helped out.
It def gave me a little more perspective on grief. Instead of having to have the most grief and awful story why not lean on each other? Even if you think your story is worse, you can still help another
It def gave me a little more perspective on grief. Instead of having to have the most grief and awful story why not lean on each other? Even if you think your story is worse, you can still help another
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
GymChick wrote:I’m sure at first Joan though everyone was haters when she was disabling comments and deleting Pics but it think she actually did some real googling and realized not everyone with advice is a hater. I still think it’s crazy that she didn’t already know about all the baby carry and car seat safety, the way she always talked about motherhood and Maeve- if it just seemed like she was involved in the mom community and I figured she was educated about a lot of things. By one of their recent blogs I watched Joan and John didn’t even realize that babies didn’t smile and react right away, and didn’t know about the startle reflex lol.
But I guess I should have known she would be uneducated, I remember one of her IG posts of Maeve turning one she of course wrote an essay about how she imagine Maeve’s day would have been and she said Maeve would have asked “more birthday cake” or something like that lol and I was like wow if my 12 month old could say that it would be amazing lol she actually thought a 12 month old could speak small sentences (endquote)
For the life of me I can't wrap my mind around someone who doesn't educate themselves for motherhood. I mean she is a second time mom (since she did give birth to Maeve and had 9 months etc) so you'd think during her pregnancy she'd read up on how to use car seats etc.
My ex sister in law is like that. She was 42 when she became a first time mom. She didn't care of the baby item was a good item or not. We still talk and I did help her with her baby registry. Apparently the store was out of the travel system she registered for and instead bought another brand. It was one of the cheapest junkiest pieces of crap ever. In 2015 if a travel system is $120 you know it's a piece of crap. Broke within 3 months.
But just common sense stuff like she'd put him down for naps with 4 adult pillows on the couch and lie him on top of them and would go to the basement to work. Her husband is 28 years older and he gives her advice based on what it was like 28 years ago when his next youngest son was a baby. Those two are hard to handle let me tell ya. They'd even put the car seat in the front seat. I just don't understand those that don't read a book, talk to veteran moms, watch videos, read instructions on a car seat etc.
I even have seen a photo on instagram where the mom is using the infant car seat forwards for a two year old. Not a quick trip either it was a 3 hour car ride.
Also Charmed596 I am so very sorry about your dad. That is just horrible.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Who wants to start taking bets that Vera will be a fox for Halloween?? ((Charmed, I’m so sorry for your loss!))
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Definitely a fox it’s so sad
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
They take the fox thing too far... it's like Maeve has been reincarnated into a fox. When they see one in the yard it's like a "sign" that she's watching. So creepy. "Maeve's in the yard again, Johnny!"
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
They take the fox thing too far... it's like Maeve has been reincarnated into a fox. When they see one in the yard it's like a "sign" that she's watching. So creepy. "Maeve's in the yard again, Johnny!"
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Maybe they’ll just cut out the middleman and she’ll just go as Maeve?ihateliars wrote:Who wants to start taking bets that Vera will be a fox for Halloween?? ((Charmed, I’m so sorry for your loss!))
I wonder if a little old lady stopped Joan and Vera on the street, peeked at Vera and cooed, asking the baby’s name... would Joan sometimes role play and say “Maeve”? Because I wouldn’t put that past her.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
That actually gave me a sick feeling!!:( I wouldn’t be surprised!actuallydear wrote:Maybe they’ll just cut out the middleman and she’ll just go as Maeve?ihateliars wrote:Who wants to start taking bets that Vera will be a fox for Halloween?? ((Charmed, I’m so sorry for your loss!))
I wonder if a little old lady stopped Joan and Vera on the street, peeked at Vera and cooed, asking the baby’s name... would Joan sometimes role play and say “Maeve”? Because I wouldn’t put that past her.
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
So I know she's pushed away friends who've had living children, I have to wonder if she's pushed away any family members yet.
Little off topic but doesn't John look a lot older than he really is? That beard does nothing for him.
Little off topic but doesn't John look a lot older than he really is? That beard does nothing for him.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
She’s previously spoken a few times about someone (I think an Aunty) who had asked if Joan was going to constantly post daily photos of Maeve as she found photos of a deceased baby and said I’m sorry but if you are I’ll have to unfriend you as it distresses me or something to that affect and both Joan and her mum were angry and Joan blocked her and cut her offeab424 wrote:So I know she's pushed away friends who've had living children, I have to wonder if she's pushed away any family members yet.
Little off topic but doesn't John look a lot older than he really is? That beard does nothing for him.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Is that true? If she actually said that to a woman who lost her four-year-old, that is truly disgusting. Imagine if Vera experiences a tragedy in her life growing up, what's Joan going to say? "Oh sorry honey, I know you're sad but at least you haven't lost a baby."lmmomSD wrote:She told a woman on IG who lost a 4 year old daughter that "at least you got 4 years".LCCS225 wrote:You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.
This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.
She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!
Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.
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She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
charmed596 wrote:Thank you all so much! We had about a weeks notice and our community has really helped out.
It def gave me a little more perspective on grief. Instead of having to have the most grief and awful story why not lean on each other? Even if you think your story is worse, you can still help another
So very sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is tremendously difficult no matter what. Wishing your family peace as you grieve.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
Yep. She said it. On Instagram. There may be a screenshot in one of the older threads.LCCS225 wrote:Is that true? If she actually said that to a woman who lost her four-year-old, that is truly disgusting. Imagine if Vera experiences a tragedy in her life growing up, what's Joan going to say? "Oh sorry honey, I know you're sad but at least you haven't lost a baby."lmmomSD wrote:She told a woman on IG who lost a 4 year old daughter that "at least you got 4 years".LCCS225 wrote: You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.
She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
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I have a friend who lost her 25 year old son in a stupid accident the day after Christmas. So her grief should be less because she had 25 years with him? And her reaction has been so different. She has spent her time since reaching out to others who are grieving and trying to help, and working on getting a traffic light at the corner where he was killed. She was even kind to the driver who hit her son, because it really was just a tragic accident. The guy wasn't speeding or drunk or on his phone. Just such a difference in the response. I know everyone reacts differently, but that kind of selfishness and callousness to another grieving mother just blows me away and makes it hard for me to cut her much slack.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
I do not buy nor make handmade jewelry so I am not the best judge but I think Joan's jewelry is ridiculously overpriced. I've seen similar designs on etsy much cheaper. The newest earrings, besides being ugly as f, seem like they wouldn't cost much nor take long to make. An $85 price tag seems crazy.
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
I followed Joan on insta before she and John entered and won the IVF contest. I had to unfollow because it was everyday she'd post the same pics in rotation of Maeve. As a loss mom I've gotten better but seeing photos of babies who are stillborn are a trigger for me and after a while I had to unfollow her.
She and John are so lucky. There were so many couples who entered and who didn't for privacy reasons who still have empty arms.
Counselors are one thing but she needs deeper treatment than they've been able to give her and I think they should refer her to a psychologist. Perhaps she needs medication but if they let this go too long something bad might happen. It just appears her grief is turning into a mental break.
She has Vera. She needs to focus on Vera. When she does mention Vera, Maeve isn't far behind.
As far as the jewelry yes it is ugly as f. It's a few beads for which she very well may get a discount on. One of the necklaces is on a very cheap looking chain and has 5 tiny pebble like beads on it and she's charging $45 for it. Necklace would take a whole less than 5 minutes to make. And yes the prices are crazy. For the longest time during her pregnancy even she had the note on the store that said proceeds would go towards FET. So people who didn't watch their vlogs would've been fooled into thinking they were helping get money towards that.
I have to wonder how long of a paternity leave John is taking or has taken?
She and John are so lucky. There were so many couples who entered and who didn't for privacy reasons who still have empty arms.
Counselors are one thing but she needs deeper treatment than they've been able to give her and I think they should refer her to a psychologist. Perhaps she needs medication but if they let this go too long something bad might happen. It just appears her grief is turning into a mental break.
She has Vera. She needs to focus on Vera. When she does mention Vera, Maeve isn't far behind.
As far as the jewelry yes it is ugly as f. It's a few beads for which she very well may get a discount on. One of the necklaces is on a very cheap looking chain and has 5 tiny pebble like beads on it and she's charging $45 for it. Necklace would take a whole less than 5 minutes to make. And yes the prices are crazy. For the longest time during her pregnancy even she had the note on the store that said proceeds would go towards FET. So people who didn't watch their vlogs would've been fooled into thinking they were helping get money towards that.
I have to wonder how long of a paternity leave John is taking or has taken?
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
He took 2 weeks. Now he’s choosing to stay home unpaid because he volunteered for furlough....eab424 wrote:I followed Joan on insta before she and John entered and won the IVF contest. I had to unfollow because it was everyday she'd post the same pics in rotation of Maeve. As a loss mom I've gotten better but seeing photos of babies who are stillborn are a trigger for me and after a while I had to unfollow her.
She and John are so lucky. There were so many couples who entered and who didn't for privacy reasons who still have empty arms.
Counselors are one thing but she needs deeper treatment than they've been able to give her and I think they should refer her to a psychologist. Perhaps she needs medication but if they let this go too long something bad might happen. It just appears her grief is turning into a mental break.
She has Vera. She needs to focus on Vera. When she does mention Vera, Maeve isn't far behind.
As far as the jewelry yes it is ugly as f. It's a few beads for which she very well may get a discount on. One of the necklaces is on a very cheap looking chain and has 5 tiny pebble like beads on it and she's charging $45 for it. Necklace would take a whole less than 5 minutes to make. And yes the prices are crazy. For the longest time during her pregnancy even she had the note on the store that said proceeds would go towards FET. So people who didn't watch their vlogs would've been fooled into thinking they were helping get money towards that.
I have to wonder how long of a paternity leave John is taking or has taken?
they can’t be hurting that bad.... I get That he’s doing odd jobs too as always but he has a history of not liking or keeping jobs from forever ago....
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
1000Words wrote:He took 2 weeks. Now he’s choosing to stay home unpaid because he volunteered for furlough....eab424 wrote:I followed Joan on insta before she and John entered and won the IVF contest. I had to unfollow because it was everyday she'd post the same pics in rotation of Maeve. As a loss mom I've gotten better but seeing photos of babies who are stillborn are a trigger for me and after a while I had to unfollow her.
She and John are so lucky. There were so many couples who entered and who didn't for privacy reasons who still have empty arms.
Counselors are one thing but she needs deeper treatment than they've been able to give her and I think they should refer her to a psychologist. Perhaps she needs medication but if they let this go too long something bad might happen. It just appears her grief is turning into a mental break.
She has Vera. She needs to focus on Vera. When she does mention Vera, Maeve isn't far behind.
As far as the jewelry yes it is ugly as f. It's a few beads for which she very well may get a discount on. One of the necklaces is on a very cheap looking chain and has 5 tiny pebble like beads on it and she's charging $45 for it. Necklace would take a whole less than 5 minutes to make. And yes the prices are crazy. For the longest time during her pregnancy even she had the note on the store that said proceeds would go towards FET. So people who didn't watch their vlogs would've been fooled into thinking they were helping get money towards that.
I have to wonder how long of a paternity leave John is taking or has taken?
they can’t be hurting that bad.... I get That he’s doing odd jobs too as always but he has a history of not liking or keeping jobs from forever ago....
Yeah yet another reason I don't believe in 5 years they'll still be married. We should start a pool.
Most youtubers don't want to work for a living to support their families several are like panhandlers.
Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3
So John volunteered for the furlough and is only working odd jobs right now? These two are the worst. They beg for money yet do not do everything possible to make $$ when they can. I've never seen anyone act more entitled than them. It is absolutely crazy! John should have been first in line begging to not be put on furlough.
It bothers me how often they go out to eat. In fairness, there was more before Vera was born but they sure did take every opportunity to go out. I'm not saying they shouldn't have the occasional treat or date but don't beg for money then go out to lunch or for milkshakes several times a week. All that adds up fast. Also saw once on John's insta that he was looking to buy a new kitchen knife. Likes to use chef quality ones. Seems these two feel they deserve the best. If you beg for money don't spend $100 on a kitchen knife. Just saying.
It bothers me how often they go out to eat. In fairness, there was more before Vera was born but they sure did take every opportunity to go out. I'm not saying they shouldn't have the occasional treat or date but don't beg for money then go out to lunch or for milkshakes several times a week. All that adds up fast. Also saw once on John's insta that he was looking to buy a new kitchen knife. Likes to use chef quality ones. Seems these two feel they deserve the best. If you beg for money don't spend $100 on a kitchen knife. Just saying.