John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

[RootBeerFloatie]

The thing is that Joan's grieving has never been about Maeve, but about Joan. It's in her identity as a grief sufferer and a loss mom. She refuses to identify as a first time mom because that takes away from her status as a loss mom. The sign on the door while giving birth served as a reminder that even though she's having a healthy baby, she's more special than other moms on the floor because she's had a dead one. She won't interact with other mothers in case they dare imply that she's just like them-- don't know you, Joan had a stillbirth and that makes her more special, saintly, and wise than any other mother? How dare the small business she works part time for not offer her months of maternity leave? How dare women breast feed in the shop without a picture of Maeve's corpse reminding them that Joan is more important than they are because her baby died?

She's putting Vera at risk every day, physically and later emotionally, because she can't stand the thought of her endless pity party coming to a halt.

[lmmomSD]

The thing is that Joan's grieving has never been about Maeve, but about Joan. It's in her identity as a grief sufferer and a loss mom. She refuses to identify as a first time mom because that takes away from her status as a loss mom. The sign on the door while giving birth served as a reminder that even though she's having a healthy baby, she's more special than other moms on the floor because she's had a dead one. She won't interact with other mothers in case they dare imply that she's just like them-- don't know you, Joan had a stillbirth and that makes her more special, saintly, and wise than any other mother? How dare the small business she works part time for not offer her months of maternity leave? How dare women breast feed in the shop without a picture of Maeve's corpse reminding them that Joan is more important than they are because her baby died?

She's putting Vera at risk every day, physically and later emotionally, because she can't stand the thought of her endless pity party coming to a halt.

That's what I was trying to say but you said it much better.
She's saying Maeve is better? Maeve didn't have a chance to be fussy or not perfect at breastfeeding. Of course she was "better". And Joan is definitely a "new mom". She is certainly making new mom mistakes, which is why she needs to listen. She's never had to parent a living human being. It's ok to make mistakes. It's not ok to block people who gently try to tell you how to do it right.

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[HelloSweetie]

The thing is that Joan's grieving has never been about Maeve, but about Joan. It's in her identity as a grief sufferer and a loss mom. She refuses to identify as a first time mom because that takes away from her status as a loss mom. The sign on the door while giving birth served as a reminder that even though she's having a healthy baby, she's more special than other moms on the floor because she's had a dead one. She won't interact with other mothers in case they dare imply that she's just like them-- don't know you, Joan had a stillbirth and that makes her more special, saintly, and wise than any other mother? How dare the small business she works part time for not offer her months of maternity leave? How dare women breast feed in the shop without a picture of Maeve's corpse reminding them that Joan is more important than they are because her baby died?

She's putting Vera at risk every day, physically and later emotionally, because she can't stand the thought of her endless pity party coming to a halt.

EXACTLY.

This is why I worry about all the “mistakes” she’s making. I absolutely believe she knows better than to let her new baby’s head flop all over and to always secure her in her car seat/stroller , which means these risks are intentional. Why would someone do that? If Joan feels Vera is making people forget Maeve, and that she’s losing her Pain Olympics medal, then I can see her being less concerned about an accident happening. The IG post about her pain practically writes itself!

My hope is that John loses patience with Joan if she doesn’t move on and fights for Vera. She needs a champion. I’m very sad for all Joan has been through, and for the mental illness she appears to have, but Vera didn’t ask for that. She deserves the same parents Maeve would have had.


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[131618]

The thing is that Joan's grieving has never been about Maeve, but about Joan. It's in her identity as a grief sufferer and a loss mom. She refuses to identify as a first time mom because that takes away from her status as a loss mom. The sign on the door while giving birth served as a reminder that even though she's having a healthy baby, she's more special than other moms on the floor because she's had a dead one. She won't interact with other mothers in case they dare imply that she's just like them-- don't know you, Joan had a stillbirth and that makes her more special, saintly, and wise than any other mother? How dare the small business she works part time for not offer her months of maternity leave? How dare women breast feed in the shop without a picture of Maeve's corpse reminding them that Joan is more important than they are because her baby died?

She's putting Vera at risk every day, physically and later emotionally, because she can't stand the thought of her endless pity party coming to a halt.

EXACTLY.

This is why I worry about all the “mistakes” she’s making. I absolutely believe she knows better than to let her new baby’s head flop all over and to always secure her in her car seat/stroller , which means these risks are intentional. Why would someone do that? If Joan feels Vera is making people forget Maeve, and that she’s losing her Pain Olympics medal, then I can see her being less concerned about an accident happening. The IG post about her pain practically writes itself!

My hope is that John loses patience with Joan if she doesn’t move on and fights for Vera. She needs a champion. I’m very sad for all Joan has been through, and for the mental illness she appears to have, but Vera didn’t ask for that. She deserves the same parents Maeve would have had.


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Oof, that last sentence hit me in the feels. Well said, totally agree

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[here4thepopcorn]

I decided to watch one of her latest videos and noticed John's comments... I predict a patreon account coming soon!

[Gossipgirlygirl333]

I can't get over how bad their editing skills are...
Joan: "I'm not going to show you my bottom half because I'm not wearing pants"
John takes camera and pans to full body shot
....
Joan and john eating lunch outside house John is working on.
John: "dont show the house!"
*five seconds later*
*shows entire house in background multiple times*

[sweetener]

John and Joan are so bizarre. I'd stop watching, but it's like coming across a car accident — I just can't look away, plus I'm interested to see how Vera turns out. I hope that Joan is able to get her shit together for Vera's sake.

[spooky]

I know it's been brought up before but these two don't even sound like they're in the same conversation most of the time. And the way they talk over each other so much, it's no wonder they both sound clueless.

I think John will step up and be the dad Vera deserves. I'll admit, I was worried as the pregnancy progressed and he seemed to be in Joan's pain boat, but to me, it seems like a switch has been flipped and he is 100% aware that Vera is her own person; not just the sister of a deceased sibling.

I had to laugh at John in today's vlog when Joan mentioned he had to pick up some supplies for her and he mentioned "some $2 thing". Yeah, some $2 thing that Joan includes in her "borrowed" jewelry designs she sells for $$$$$$$$$.

[SA1023]

I know it's been brought up before but these two don't even sound like they're in the same conversation most of the time. And the way they talk over each other so much, it's no wonder they both sound clueless.

I think John will step up and be the dad Vera deserves. I'll admit, I was worried as the pregnancy progressed and he seemed to be in Joan's pain boat, but to me, it seems like a switch has been flipped and he is 100% aware that Vera is her own person; not just the sister of a deceased sibling.

I had to laugh at John in today's vlog when Joan mentioned he had to pick up some supplies for her and he mentioned "some $2 thing". Yeah, some $2 thing that Joan includes in her "borrowed" jewelry designs she sells for $$$$$$$$$.

She never lets him speak! Drives me crazy.

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[kittypurry]

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[kittypurry]

I wonder how long Joan will try to compare Vera to pictures of Maeve? Probably the rest of her life (in private, at least)


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[Scar2016]

I know it's been brought up before but these two don't even sound like they're in the same conversation most of the time. And the way they talk over each other so much, it's no wonder they both sound clueless.

I think John will step up and be the dad Vera deserves. I'll admit, I was worried as the pregnancy progressed and he seemed to be in Joan's pain boat, but to me, it seems like a switch has been flipped and he is 100% aware that Vera is her own person; not just the sister of a deceased sibling.

I had to laugh at John in today's vlog when Joan mentioned he had to pick up some supplies for her and he mentioned "some $2 thing". Yeah, some $2 thing that Joan includes in her "borrowed" jewelry designs she sells for $$$$$$$$$.

She never lets him speak! Drives me crazy.

She doesn't even reply or listen to him half the time. She just stares at him blankly and then looks away or literally walks away in silence - so bizarre. I have to say, watching Johns face in this sit down video was adorable. He had a constant smile of absolute bliss stuck on his face. Joan, on the other hand, spent THE whole sit down time talking about her. Why does it always have to be about her? . . .

1) Talks about her post natal appt and her C Section scar far too long imo, although I'm glad she mentioned the nurse talked to her about PPD.

2) She's going to make a vlog about the birth - about her body during the birth and what it went through a la number 1)

3) As an afterthought she says she'll also make one about the actual birth of Vera Thanks Joan, so generous of you.

4) Vera is barely 3 weeks old and Joan's already mourning the fact she enjoyed being pregnant so much and won't ever be able to experience pregnancy again. Isn't it a bit soon to be having those thoughts? Shouldn't Joan be all consumed with love and focus and bonding with Vera? Why is Vera, at only three weeks old, not enough? She should be Joan's absolute world right now. After so much heartache they have this precious little bundle to love finally but no, Joan is always looking for things to pull her back to into the mourning mentality, even if it's mourning about not having the 'experience' of pregnancy again. What about all those women who don't even get to have one healthy pregnancy and birth like you've just experienced Joan? She's like a bottomless pit of woe-is-me and it's exhausting. People who say her grief is about her and not Maeve seem to be sadly correct. Or is this all part of the PTSD rumination?

[GetYouTubesTied]

How great would it be if Joan did a sit-down video challenge with the rule that she could talk about anything she wanted as long as she didn't use the "I" pronoun? That would be a huge eye-opener for her...

[fossilfinger]

It's going to be so weird for Vera when throughout her life Joan is always referring to Maeve. "I wish Maeve were here," "Maeve would have loved this," "I can see Maeve drawing that/reading that/learning that," etc. It's going to be like being raised with a ghost, or her mother's imaginary friend.

[SA1023]

It's going to be so weird for Vera when throughout her life Joan is always referring to Maeve. "I wish Maeve were here," "Maeve would have loved this," "I can see Maeve drawing that/reading that/learning that," etc. It's going to be like being raised with a ghost, or her mother's imaginary friend.

Wonder how she will feel when she realizes her name is Maeves mixed up...someone pointed it out here before I think. Vera Mae...her middle name is the beginning of Maeve. That's creepy to me. She will end up hating her mother.

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[HelloSweetie]

It's going to be so weird for Vera when throughout her life Joan is always referring to Maeve. "I wish Maeve were here," "Maeve would have loved this," "I can see Maeve drawing that/reading that/learning that," etc. It's going to be like being raised with a ghost, or her mother's imaginary friend.

Wonder how she will feel when she realizes her name is Maeves mixed up...someone pointed it out here before I think. Vera Mae...her middle name is the beginning of Maeve. That's creepy to me. She will end up hating her mother.

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It wasn’t just noticed. I think someone actually predicted it.


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[Nikier]

I saw in her insta story today they have Vera in her car seat with rolled towels on each side of her head! Finally!!!

[ihateliars]

Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that she follows him to work??? I really hope she can do this on her own...I’m so worried that she’s going to get ppd :/ John seems head over heals with Vera which is wonderful and is adorable to see!! His robe is just too cute LOL

[Edenberry]

Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that she follows him to work??? I really hope she can do this on her own...I’m so worried that she’s going to get ppd :/ John seems head over heals with Vera which is wonderful and is adorable to see!! His robe is just too cute LOL

We were down one car when our first was born, so we drove my husband to work every morning and picked him up every evening. About a 30 minute drive each way. I realllllly am grateful for that time, as inconvenient as having one car was, because I was adjusting to new motherhood, not working, and it gave us some extra time together each day during the first two months of our daughter's life.

But our situation was born out of necessity. After his car was fixed, you best believe we were enjoying our early morning hours at home, lol!

[1000Words]

Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that she follows him to work??? I really hope she can do this on her own...I’m so worried that she’s going to get ppd :/ John seems head over heals with Vera which is wonderful and is adorable to see!! His robe is just too cute LOL

We were down one car when our first was born, so we drove my husband to work every morning and picked him up every evening. About a 30 minute drive each way. I realllllly am grateful for that time, as inconvenient as having one car was, because I was adjusting to new motherhood, not working, and it gave us some extra time together each day during the first two months of our daughter's life.

But our situation was born out of necessity. After his car was fixed, you best believe we were enjoying our early morning hours at home, lol!