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Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby HelloSweetie » Mon Mar 19, 2018 12:58 pm

natalka81 wrote:
candy_toffee wrote:
snowbaby95 wrote:When Joel told Cody "that's the way you win 'em" in today's vlog about giving women money & presents... :roll: :roll: :roll:


It's straight up benevolent sexism. It might look nice and pretty but it's still sexism. It's sad they are raising their boys to look at women as possessions i.e., something to be won.
And teaching their girls that they are fragile, special and something to be protected at all costs. This kind of teaching severely limits women's ability to develop a sense of self, a sense of pride and a sense of personal accomplishment. Keeping them indoctrinated with ideas that they only belong in the home as mothers and wives because they need to be protected and worshiped causes them to lose any ideas that they can be whatever they want to be. It prevents them from pursuing greater life goals. THIS is the great travesty of the benevolent sexism that is RAMPANT in their family.

Best. Analysis. Ever.


I think it’s a bit much based off one comment. We’ve seen from Joel that he respects Bonnie, and doesn’t treat her like a possession. Cody did a kind thing, and it’s kind and thoughtful actions that can win someone over. Most women are looking for a man that will be in touch with their needs and desires and “take care of them.” Not in a patronizing way, but in a partnership. Some women have a love language that involves gifts and surprises. That’s a natural need for some to feel loved. We’ve seen Bonnie is one of these women, and so hats what Joel knows works from his experience. If a man is thoughtful and kind enough to recognize his woman’s needs, then it’s likely he will also be a good father. I don’t know many women that are looking for a man that they can take care of. Joel clearly doesn’t own Bonnie, and I don’t think he would ever claim to.

The Griffiths women are staying at home because they are being made to. They want to. Victimizing all women that value a partnership where the man is the breadwinner is just as ignorant and dismissive as the argument that men are better than women. Many of us are stay at home moms on these boards. Many of us have hard working husbands and appreciate the validation that comes with a surprise gift. Winning someone over does not equate to owning them in my opinion.


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby lmmomSD » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:06 pm

But calling the girl his "girlfriend" isn't right either. They're what, in first grade?
Bryan used Ollie freaking out over a roller coaster for a thumbnail, and now Bonnie is using Cody's "girlfriend". Aren't they not supposed to be exploiting their kids?


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby YouTubeIdiots101 » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:10 pm

^^Avoiding the big quote tree, but I think it is much more than being based off of this one comment. There have been little things here and there that make people think this way in regards to "gender roles" and everything associated with that. Joel does respect Bonnie, and truly does love her. You can tell 100%. It's not so much about treating the women like property (in my mind set anyways) It's just that they have such a strong view on what different roles should do. They conclude that all girls are similar and all boys are similar as well. Girls need to eat properly so boys will like them. Boys need to shower the girl with gifts and money.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby HelloSweetie » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:11 pm

lmmomSD wrote:But calling the girl his "girlfriend" isn't right either. They're what, in first grade?
Bryan used Ollie freaking out over a roller coaster for a thumbnail, and now Bonnie is using Cody's "girlfriend". Aren't they not supposed to be exploiting their kids?


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I remember using that term when I was in school. Heck, I remember having weddings! The argument wasn’t about what was being used in the vlog, but what Joel was saying to Cody. I just don’t think we can argue 90% of the time that the Griffiths women run the show, but then turn around and demonize the men as though they are these archaic sexists running the show. From what I’ve seen, the Griffiths women are free to do whatever the heck they like. They want to stay home, so thats what they are doing.


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby FakingIt_MakingIt » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:11 pm

I don't think the gift thing is the same as "owning" or thinking you own someone...however I still found it uncomfortable.
It was a sweet and innocent gesture on Cody's part, but very telling to Bonnie and Joels relationship and that made it uncomfortable.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby HelloSweetie » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:13 pm

YouTubeIdiots101 wrote:^^Avoiding the big quote tree, but I think it is much more than being based off of this one comment. There have been little things here and there that make people think this way in regards to "gender roles" and everything associated with that. Joel does respect Bonnie, and truly does love her. You can tell 100%. It's not so much about treating the women like property (in my mind set anyways) It's just that they have such a strong view on what different roles should do.


That the man should work and the woman should stay home right? Look at their family. Is this really what they are modelling? Bonnie is he one that started Yt. Bonnie ventured out and started the unfortunate Bollie venture. Joel is more a house husband than anything.

I know what the religion preaches, but just don’t see it reflected in the Griffiths to the extent everyone else is. Not even Ellie and Jared who I can’t stand.


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby YouTubeIdiots101 » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:16 pm

Also, I feel like parents (not just Bonnie & Joel) put too much emphasis on so-called "relationships" at this age. When I was Cody's age, I do not remember anyone around me acting the way these YouTubers do now. "This is how you win the girls over" etc... just too much. Let the kid have a friend, because in the end that's all that it is.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby lmmomSD » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:20 pm

Oh, I know. I agree with you on that. Although Joel has made comments like that before, I think it's a lot of talk. Bonnie and Ellie especially do pretty much as they please. I do think that they are encouraged to stay home and make babies, but I also believe that they like it. At least Bonnie does. Ellie would like to live like the family in Mary Poppins, with a nanny doing the actual baby care.
I was going off on a tangent. I had just noticed some exploitive titles the last couple of days. And it seems like they were being more careful for a while, but now they're getting back to putting kids in the thumbnails with titles that are inflammatory. It's like the demonetization scare has passed, so now they're relaxing and going back to their old ways.


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby candy_toffee » Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:51 pm

Wow. This blew up.
First of all Hellosweetie, I'm very very sorry if I came across to you as victimizing stay at home spouses. It was definitively not my intention. In fact I have mad respect for people who manage the house with kids. It is the biggest job in the world .And you live in a real world with real responsibilities so you deserve every gift and surprise. So my apologies. :love2:

And secondly, Maybe I come from a country where gender disparity and enforcement of gender roles is next to none so my views may be a little more strongly reflected. Again, i'm sorry.

Thirdly, My observation was not just based on one single comment. The gender roles in this family are real. Do you think in the future Olivia (or Bonnie for that matter), be able change a deflated Tyre, change the oil of her car or drive a nail in a wall to assemble a frame despite her dad being a tradesman? (correct me if they can do any of these)


So my only point was that yes, they are living willingly at home. But they will never be able to survive as an independent women. They would always need a man to take care of basic things. It takes away significant control of their life from them.

They make their living from YT as a career so it changes the perspective completely. And my debate game is weak so please be considerate. :)
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby lmmomSD » Mon Mar 19, 2018 2:21 pm

And one thing I didn't say, is that kids calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend and having mock weddings is different from their parents doing it for views.


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby snowbaby95 » Mon Mar 19, 2018 2:39 pm

HelloSweetie wrote:I think it’s a bit much based off one comment. We’ve seen from Joel that he respects Bonnie, and doesn’t treat her like a possession. Cody did a kind thing, and it’s kind and thoughtful actions that can win someone over. Most women are looking for a man that will be in touch with their needs and desires and “take care of them.” Not in a patronizing way, but in a partnership. Some women have a love language that involves gifts and surprises. Joel clearly doesn’t own Bonnie, and I don’t think he would ever claim to.

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He seemed to be ingraining the idea that you "get" women by giving them money and gifts. That is a horrible thing to teach a child. Yes, some people may have a gift-giving love language, but the idea that this is solely how you "win over" women is a pretty problematic way to think. If Joel's comment was truly about how being thoughtful and kind gestures impress girls, he should have said something about that. But he literally just implied that giving women money is how you "get" them.

And Bonnie was pretty damn proud with her smug smile to say, "That's how he got me!" because she loves when he buys her stuff. She also literally said the other day she opens material presents in front of her boys and Olivia so the boys know what to "do" for and how to treat their wives. I have no problem with someone liking to get gifts, but I do find a problem with how they have repeatedly acted like this is the way to "get" a wife.

People, like Joel, can hold sexist ideas such as this one. It doesn't mean he doesn't love Bonnie or he's a 100% sexist who thinks he owns his wife. There are varying degrees of sexism.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby WriteMeOut » Mon Mar 19, 2018 4:53 pm

I think that it's very likely that the receiving love language of both Ellie and Bonnie is gift receiving. It's okay if their husbands understand that and act accordingly, no matter how ridiculous it might seem to the rest of us. However I don't think it's okay to teach their children that all women will appreciate gifts in the same way, because they won't.

Also, I do think there is a mix of matriarchy and some very conservative, maybe even sexist values. I think you can have some of both, as illogical as that seems. An example would be that in the midst of the Griffiths women very obviously ruling the roost, no girls have middle names. It is expected that she does not need one because she will get married and take her husband's last name. Bonnie and Joel talked about this in a video a few years back about how they name their kids. Maybe when they were expecting Lincoln? I forget exactly.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby dw30 » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:36 pm

I was raised in a religion (IFB) with similar gender roles as Mormons. A very patriarchal system where the man (father & husband) is the authority and the woman is the “helpmeet”. The biggest irony in this system is many homes (behind the scenes) the wife/mum ruled the roost!

Yes, we needed to present as the submissive wife/ daughter to the outside world but we all knew, in which homes, who made the final decision.

From my perspective, the Griffiths present the same.

I remember as a teen, walking into church with my brother and one of the male teens walked up to me & said “You look amazing today!” I blushed and said “Thank-you!”. He then turned to my brother and said, “See, that’s how you talk to girls.”. I was gobsmacked. It took the compliment out of the compliment. It was more about getting me to think he was an amazing guy as opposed to taking his statement as a genuine compliment. But this was the culture of that environment.

I don’t think Joel’s interaction with Cody is anything more than the culture in which they are in. It’s sad & ignorant but it is what it is. He still is an amazing father & husband but they do raise their children in that belief system and to expect them to raise above it is defunct. You’re unbelievably blinded by it when you’re in it.


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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby LumpyDays » Tue Mar 20, 2018 1:13 am

I have no problem with traditional gender roles at all. My boys know how to look after a house though and my girl will know how to do car stuff and yard work. Each to their own.
I just think that Bonnie and Ellie are as shallow as puddles and Jared and Joel wanted a pretty wife who didn't have too much brain. Giving them presents makes them happy and agreeable. I have no doubt that both women rule those houses but I do think Joel is one to not be pushed too far.
Seriously if one of them cracked a book occasionally, a whole new world would open up to them.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby janemom1 » Tue Mar 20, 2018 5:01 am

I agree with above. My daughter is gonna be 4 in July. She is obsessed with little girl lip gloss, nail polish, purses, doing make up etc. But she also is starting to love softball and wants to play really bad. Loves being in the garage with her pap pap and loves the dirt of outside. I don't really see that with Olivia, but it's probably bc they never had her go that route. Yes she rides 4 wheelers with her Dad and plays in the snow..but I don't see anything other than girly stuff from her. Which is fine if that's her choice. But I'm assuming it wasn't and now that's all her life is..
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby theyellow_daisy » Tue Mar 20, 2018 6:28 am

When your child is that stressed out about you playing with his hair, you stop filming and put the camera down. You don't bribe him with gum and keep filming.

I am glad that she did cut Lincoln's hair though.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby FakingIt_MakingIt » Tue Mar 20, 2018 7:15 am

theyellow_daisy wrote:When your child is that stressed out about you playing with his hair, you stop filming and put the camera down. You don't bribe him with gum and keep filming.

I am glad that she did cut Lincoln's hair though.



Its almost like they want to lose their monetization again.
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby Manitowoc123 » Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:05 am

hnelson1443 wrote:
MommaLindsey2 wrote:I’m behind in the vlogs because frankly I cannot stand them anymore. Why the hell do all 4 kids have sippy cups now?

She still hand feeds them - you’re surprised by sippy cups? Lol

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My 2 1/2 year old doesn't even use sippy cups anymore...

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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby Refrigerator_Light » Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:11 am

So this footage was from St. Patrick's Day, which was Saturday. Was there no usable footage from Friday- aka. Penisgate Day? Lol....
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby megtanner35 » Tue Mar 20, 2018 3:38 pm

Todays video needs to be reported. I just reported it to youtube. How can someone stand there and film their child crying rather than comfort him. It is so sad she deserves to have a strike or warning given to her channel
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby hnelson1443 » Tue Mar 20, 2018 4:32 pm

megtanner35 wrote:Todays video needs to be reported. I just reported it to youtube. How can someone stand there and film their child crying rather than comfort him. It is so sad she deserves to have a strike or warning given to her channel
How do you report a YT video? I'm not going to report today's without watching it first, but I've wanted to report others in the past and didn't know how.

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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby Bollie_Dollie_4_Life » Tue Mar 20, 2018 4:54 pm

hnelson1443 wrote:
megtanner35 wrote:Todays video needs to be reported. I just reported it to youtube. How can someone stand there and film their child crying rather than comfort him. It is so sad she deserves to have a strike or warning given to her channel
How do you report a YT video? I'm not going to report today's without watching it first, but I've wanted to report others in the past and didn't know how.

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On the youtube video, look for the thumbs up, thumbs down.......Next to the that are a few more options. The last one on the right looks like ... (3 dots in a row) click on that and a dropdown box will appear and one of those options is REPORT. Then once you click that, a bunch of options are available. Sorry if that is confusing, I may not be the best at describing it. lol
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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby hnelson1443 » Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:28 pm

Bollie_Dollie_4_Life wrote:
hnelson1443 wrote:
megtanner35 wrote:Todays video needs to be reported. I just reported it to youtube. How can someone stand there and film their child crying rather than comfort him. It is so sad she deserves to have a strike or warning given to her channel
How do you report a YT video? I'm not going to report today's without watching it first, but I've wanted to report others in the past and didn't know how.

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On the youtube video, look for the thumbs up, thumbs down.......Next to the that are a few more options. The last one on the right looks like ... (3 dots in a row) click on that and a dropdown box will appear and one of those options is REPORT. Then once you click that, a bunch of options are available. Sorry if that is confusing, I may not be the best at describing it. lol
Nope, perfect explanation! Thanks :)

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Re: Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby Mischa » Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:38 pm

You guys really have nothing better to do than to report a video of a kid crying for a few mins cuz of a hairstyle? Have you guys never dealt with kids that age?
You really are THE definition of "Can I see your manager?!!" types of people.

I enjoy the gossip and all, but some of you are really petty :-D
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Bollie Hoellein: The Bold & The Blocked | Part 15

Postby staceybrax » Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:16 pm

Mischa wrote:You guys really have nothing better to do than to report a video of a kid crying for a few mins cuz of a hairstyle? Have you guys never dealt with kids that age?
You really are THE definition of "Can I see your manager?!!" types of people.

I enjoy the gossip and all, but some of you are really petty


I don’t understand the drama around today’s vlog, the way people have described it you’d think Bonnie was holding lincoln down and forcing him to get a hair cut. She didn’t cut his hair while he was crying (and he was barely crying, he wasn’t freaking out and crying hysterically) and they were talking to him and trying to make him happy about it. If it takes some bribery with treats to get a 2 year old to sit while he gets a hair cut, who cares? That’s pretty common.


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