What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Shameless
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What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by Shameless »

Thought it would be a fun question. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant right now? Would you be happy/disappointed/shocked/etc? Would you keep the baby? Would the father be in the picture? Do you have the resources to raise a child? Tell me everything.

For me: I don't currently have a boyfriend or any means of getting pregnant so we'll just have to pretend that I just met/started dating someone and we had an accident and birth control failed somehow.

The more I think about this, the weirder it gets. The thought of having a baby with no one to be the father/be there with me is really scary and heartbreaking.

The rational side of me tells me to get an abortion but I don't think I could ever go through with it. 2+ years ago my immediate decision would have been to get an abortion but now that I am almost 22 I don't think I could do that.

I suppose I would tell the "father" and see what his thoughts are and go from there. We'll just assume that the father doesn't want to be in the picture.

Looks like I'm moving back in with my mother who lives 1.5 hrs away. I suppose I would keep working and stash money for as long as I can and then move back in with her.

Once the baby is born... I honestly don't know. I suppose I would try and go back to work though I'm sure the cost of childcare would be pretty much the same amount that I was making so there's probably no point. Looks like I'm living on welfare money from the government.

It's really scary to think about.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by HeavenOnlyKnows »

Unpopular opinion: I'd get an abortion. I am also childfree so I think about pregnancy and raising children completely differently than the majority of the population does.

I'm 29, happily single, not currently dating anyone or looking, and I am currently abstaining from sex, so the idea of getting knocked up now is purely hypothetical. I will only date men who are childfree as well so we are on the same page about no babies .In my last relationship we discussed it in depth and came to the mutual agreement that if our birth control failed (condoms) we would both choose termination.

I was raised Catholic (I'm not anymore) and was taught it is 100% wrong to have an abortion except in cases of rape, or if the mother or fetus's life would be in danger from carrying the pregnancy to term. I believed this for most of my life. Then a few years ago I finally figured out that it's none of my damn business what another person/family wants to do with their bodies and lives. Just because *I* wouldn't choose an abortion for myself, I have no right to want to take that choice away from anyone else. Now that I get further into the childfree lifestyle I realize that the most wrong thing I could do would be to bring an unwanted child into this world that I can't properly provide for. Even though it goes entirely against what I was raised, I am 100% certain now that abortion would be the best choice for me AND the hypothetical fetus. People always say you can just give it up for adoption, but I don't feel comfortable with the idea of experiencing 9 miserable months of pregnancy and the trauma of actual delivery. And more importantly, here in the United States the only babies that have a reasonable chance of getting adopted are healthy white newborns. I have a family history of serious medical issues (one of the reasons why I choose not to reproduce), and I am a minority. The chances of my child being adopted would be VERY slim and it would be cruel to subject them to living in foster care indefinitely.

In the United States, the cost of raising a child from 0-18, not counting college, is $245,000. That number is so high it doesn't even make sense to me, but when you break it down it comes out to $261.75/week. Looking at it that way, the number seems to be a lowball figure. There are a hell of a lot better things I can do with an extra $245k than raise a baby, including improving my own life and the lives of people who already exist in this world.

One of the main reasons I choose not to have biological children is my genuine concern about overpopulation. The planet simply cannot sustain the current amount of humans already here, and there is pretty much a guarantee to be a fight for resources within the next couple of decades. Likely within my hypothetical child's lifetime, and definitely in their child's lifetime. Not sure how many people realize this, but scientists predict that by 2030, nearly 50% of the world's population will live in areas with acute water shortage- including the US. We consume freshwater approximately 10x faster than it is replenished. This is simply non sustainable. Knowing what I know, the most selfish thing I could do would be to ignore all of this and choose to have a baby anyway, basically condemning it to a life of suffering and probably starvation simply by existing.

I actually have may more reasons for being childfree but to answer your question, there will definitely be zero babies in my future. I'm turning 30 next month and as soon as I do I will start visiting doctors to try to get approved for a tubal ligation and ablation so that I can't get pregnant. Most doctors won't perform permanent sterilization on a nulliparous woman of my age. I'm hoping that once I'm officially in my 30s I'll be more likely to be approved for the procedure.

And like I said, I know my opinion is unpopular and will probably be bashed to hell, but I'm fine with that. This is an issue I'm pretty passionate about so I felt compelled to answer.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by nutbagmcgee »

I'm married with 3 kids already, we would love another baby but I would have major complications and the baby would have a huge chance of genetic abnormalities. Not a good situation for us.
If I was guaranteed a normal pregnancy and a typical child I would be all in!


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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by STF2000 »

If I were to get pregnant right now, I would get an abortion. I just had my second baby 6 months ago and I am DONE. At least for the next 10 years. I'm only 22, so I have plenty of time to have one more baby (I only want 3 at most). There's no way we could financially afford a 3rd right now, not to mention the toll it would take on my mental health. Seriously, I am wiped out by the end of the day.

There are so many things I want to do and I feel like adding more babies will completely limit me. I got pregnant at 19 and before then I always swore if I found myself in that situation, I'd get an abortion. I was shocked when I realized I couldn't go through with it. You always think you'll know what you'll do in a certain situation, but when you're actually in it, anything can change. A friend of mine fell pregnant at 20, had a horrible relationship with her baby's father and ended up having an abortion... something she said she'd never do.

I just do my best to prevent pregnancy because I don't want to be faced with that situation again. Just know that if it were to happen to you, it's not the end of the world! Things WILL work out whatever you choose to do.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by HazelnutSoup »

I'm 20, and have a daughter who will be 2 in October. I really think it would be a mixture of emotions if I got pregnant - happiness, fear, guilt. I do want one more child, and I'd always wanted kids close in age, but at the same time I'd worry how I'd handle it. Could I mentally handle having 2 kids right now? My daughter isn't even talking yet, and while I know she's good with babies (I babysit weekly) it's a whole other ballgame to have a baby with you 24/7. I think it would take me awhile to adjust. I'd probably also feel quite guilty, which I think is normal for parents transitioning from 1 to 2 kids. Can I love this baby the same? How will I spend quality time with my first? Will they hate me for having another? Etc.


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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by HazelnutSoup »

Continuing, because my fat thumbs hit send on accident...

I couldn't have an abortion. I chose to have one at 15, with the pressure from my mom and boyfriend, and it really took a toll on me mentally. I still struggle with my decision. Logically I know it was probably the best choice, but there's no way I could go through that again. I wouldn't be able to adopt out, either. It's very selfish of me to say, but the thought of my baby going and being with another family just doesn't seem feasible to me. My grandma was adopted, and while she was lucky and had a good adoption, she's really bitter about it.

I've been with my fiancé for going on 5 years now, he's the father of ,y daughter, and we've talked in length about what we would do if I became pregnant again. We have no interest in buying a home, so we would move out of our townhome and into a rental house. I'd continue with my schooling, he'd continue working (he's going on 23), and we would be okay financially. Probably not as good as we are now, but we manage our finances well and I'm a smart shopper lol.


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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by Robolt »

I always think about this and honestly,I dont know what I would do!
I am 21 right now and would like to wait some more years before getting pregnant..but if it did happen right now I guess it would not be THAT bad...Id still be shocked and a little dissapointed but I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, he has a great job and I graduate college next year, financially I know we could afford it, mostly from his work BUT I have always wanted to travel after I graduate and spend a few years living alone with him before adding a child into the family.
I guess right now I cant say if I would keep it or abort..Abortion is legal over here so thats not an issue but could I live with myself feeling like I made a very selfish decision? I dont know, we would have to think long and hard about it.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by Yue195 »

Probably shit twice and cry. I'm not financially ready to raise a child. Or anything. I still live at home and everything is just expensive. I'm in awe how my cousin who is one year older then me ( I'm 20) can take care of her daughter, two dogs, a chicken ( don't ask) while manage to save for a house, pay rent and bills. I swear her and her fiancé are super human.

But say it did happen, I'd probably get by.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by KirstyBash14 »

It would take me a while to get my head around it but I will be happy.
We are done though so would be happier if I didnt get pregnant again lol..we have 4 already. Aged 5, 4, 3 &10 months.

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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by rodgerdodger »

I would happily raise the second coming of Jesus Christ.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by Siiri »

After 3 years of ttc (now we gave up, not trying, not preventing) and 4 miscarriages I'd be about as happy as I can get. :D I've been in this relationship for 10 years. We own a house, have 2 kids already, and we're financially stable.

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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by missparzival »

Well considering im 35 weeks id be very concerned with my drs credentials haha.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by paigemyrissa1991 »

Seeing as my husband had a vasectomy last year, I'd have some explaing to do lmao
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by violet-kelsey black »

i just had my little girl 3 weeks ago, so i would freak out lol im done with two kids, but i would keep the baby if it happened. plus i think Irish twins are cute :P
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by fossilfinger »

We have decided not to have kids. That being said, IF I got pregnant by accident, I would keep the baby. However, there would already be a huge chance of miscarriage so I would be very scared the whole pregnancy. I would continue going to school and probably put off getting a career until the baby was at least a year old. It's such an abstract concept now because I don't visualize my life with a child, but if it happened, it would be such a weird and rare thing that I'd just embrace it.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by yummles »

Interesting question! To be honest, I don't know. I am 20 and have a 16 month old already. I married her father when I was 17. We are currently struggling. Both of us are in college, he works, I am a SAHM. It's easy for me to say I'd get an abortion, but I don't think I could go through it. That's why I am doing my best to prevent pregnancy (I have a disorder where I can't take birth control). We can't afford it, and frankly I don't think our relationship can take another child at the moment.

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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by roseter »

I would be shit scared. My youngest (I have two) is only going on 4 months. I would keep the baby, much to the distaste of my partner who has stated he will leave if I get pregnant again (charming, right? I call BS on that). I am very much pro-choice, but don't think I would personally consider abortion unless I was raped.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by princessvoldemort »

I am in a long distance relationship, but hypothetically, if I were to get pregnant at this point in my life, I would have an abortion. I'm not financially ready to raise a child, and I do not want to go through all the heartbreak of placing my hypothetical child for adoption/having them shuffle through the foster care system. Plus, with what I'm currently dealing with as far as my mental health goes (GAD and depression), I feel like it would be best for my mental health to have an abortion. I do want kids in the future, but right now would be a horrible time.
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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by MichaelScarn »

I'd be optimistically cautious. We just had a second miscarriage in June & found out I have a balanced translocation in July. So I'd be happy but would have trouble getting excited. Basically I have a 1 in 4 chance of a pregnancy sticking. And it takes us a bit to get pregnant.
We're financially ready. We'd be happy but just... Have guarded hearts. I'd be over the moon to add a member to our little family [emoji173]️ One day it will be our turn.


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Re: What if you found out you were pregnant right now?

Unread post by sarahbearrr01 »

I wouldn't be shocked, because we're currently not trying, but we aren't preventing it either.

I think after processing it, we'd be excited about this new stage of life. My husband and I have talked about it a few times, and he's pretty neutral. I keep going through bouts of baby fever, but then I think about it and I remember we have plenty of time to have kids. I sometimes wonder if he's put a lot of thought into it. It sounds silly, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Anywhoozle, we would keep the baby, and we're living pretty comfortably so that wouldn't be a factor in this decision.

So this is where I kind of need help from y'all. I came off the pill in Feb while he was still training, and I bought condoms as our new form of contraception. He hates them in general, so I said to him "You either wear them or we run the risk of getting pregnant because I'm not dealing with hormonal BC anymore" so that's when he says his favorite line, "if it happens, it happens". I don't hate the idea of having a child, but does this sound like he wants to? It's hard to read him on this one and I'm almost afraid of violating his reproductive rights (I'm not sure if I'm using the correct terminology but close enough).


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