C&K: The 'D' Word. Part #17

[actuallydear]

Continued from: http://ytmommadrama.com/viewtopic.php?f ... start=1025

[Liz_444]

So what is too late? The marriage or youtube?

Sorry, didn't watch it.

[staceyeileen]

40 minutes? I'm gonna need a synopsis. I can't watch until the kids are in bed.

Is there actually any new information in this video?

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[actuallydear]

^ I think it's worth watching. And I don't watch them anymore.

So what is too late? The marriage or youtube?

Sorry, didn't watch it.

I'm still watching, so can't say the outcome. So far: Cullen has talked about his depression and his treatment, Katie has talked about her PPD, they've said their marriage has been very rocky and they have said they've told each other they were done multiple times, but they're trying to work through it with counseling - not church counseling, but actual marriage counseling. They've said it's an uphill battle. Katie said Cullen was away for a few days and wrote her a letter. They've said there are certain things they've been through in their marriage, but don't want to share on YT.

[HashtagBlessed]

Yikes, it definitely sounds like they are confirming that they were (are?) on the brink of divorce. It sounds like it's really serious. I don't really know what's "normal" in a marriage, but I've been with my husband for nine years and I can safely say that despite what we've gone through (neither one of us is perfect, we fight and have gone through some stressful times) neither one of us has ever gotten to the point where we're "done" with our marriage. We've had bad days, and rarely we've had a bad month, but I can't imagine having the bad periods that are as long and intense as they're describing. I can't imagine how you move forward after you've both admitted that you've been at that point multiple times, that you've contemplated how you are going to work out the logistics of a divorce, how you're going to parent post-divorce, etc. I'm sure there are people out there who have clawed their way back after being at that point, but I wonder.

I'm only about half way through the video (holy smokes 40 minutes). Personally, I don't think what they're doing is working (obviously) in terms of their lifestyle, making a living on YouTube, parenting, etc. Unless they make some major changes, they're going to be stuck in the same cycle they described. It will get better for a little bit, and then it will be miserable again. They obviously have some strong forces counseling them to stick it out, but I seriously wonder if they'll still be together in a couple years. Personally I just don't think they're happy together anymore and they're just not compatible. I imagine it's very hard to turn it around once you've been miserable together for what sounds like several years at this point.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

The “too late” title is click bait. He talks about it being too late for some people who have depression. Not himself.

Katie definitely hinted at some serious stuff Cullen was doing other then the depression. Things she felt were unforgivable. I still stand by the substance abuse.

I hope they’re on their way up but time will tell how genuine this is.

[Refrigerator_Light]

After watching that I get the feeling that at some point Cullen cheated on Katie. I think there are substance issues as well, but how they kept coming back to unforgivable things affecting their marriage- infidelity was top of my mind.

[sw121314]

After watching that I get the feeling that at some point Cullen cheated on Katie. I think there are substance issues as well, but how they kept coming back to unforgivable things affecting their marriage- infidelity was top of my mind.

My suspicion is not full blown cheating but probably some inappropriate things happening. I'm curious what makes everyone think substance abuse?

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[FakingIt_MakingIt]

It’s interesting to me that they’ve been acknowledging this since the beginning of September, yet in that time things have gotten noticeably worse.
Also interesting is that Katie admitted to planning how she would be a single mother yet let her license lapse.

[Kaylor1]

Besides drug use, infidelity and physical abuse what would you consider unforgivable?

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[HelloSweetie]

I believe that Cullen is struggling and that it isn’t just for the vlog. Katie chose not to tell her story originally, so it really rubs me the wrong way how she now uses it to interrupt Cullen, speak for him and make it about her. I also found it off-putting that she suddenly wants to wear her therapist hat and talk like she knows it all. If she knew how to handle things, they wouldn’t have gotten this bad. No one wants to be married to a parent, and the way Katie speaks to and of Cullen is very condescending. Maybe it’s deserved, or maybe not, but it won’t help her marriage. The comment about raising the kids alone was also dismissive, and I think she’s made it very clear that to keep his kids they need to stay together. I also think she did a lot of rug sweeping and they were both acting more ok than they are. The hugging and kissing was too much in my opinion, and felt so forced.... as did Katie’s talk of how much she still loves Cullen. If you’re in so deep that you’re “done” you just aren’t in that place to express how much you love your partner from my experience.

Katie justified the delay and dismissed people’s concerns about it. Because you know, it’s not like happy viewers might lighten the pressure that Cullen feels is on him or anything


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[Bethypooh51]

I couldn’t watch...but I wish them the best! I have found that once YouTube channels start falling apart because of personal reason it is the beginning of the end. I feel bad for them I really do, I hope that they don’t end up as a statistic and their marriage ends in divorce. It is a horrible path to go down. Wishing them the best!


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[askeptichere]

I hate that they used a clickbait title on this video.

Otherwise, I’m glad that we were wrong that they were too lazy to seek professional help. I’m glad Cullen has been seeing a psychiatrist and they have been going to marriage counseling.

It’s kind of shocking how little Katie seemed to know about depression. She didn’t notice the signs in herself, and didn’t seem to realize it was what Cullen was going through either. I wonder how much bad advice she gave to past clients based on lack of knowledge.


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[FakingIt_MakingIt]

I believe that Cullen is struggling and that it isn’t just for the vlog. Katie chose not to tell her story originally, so it really rubs me the wrong way how she now uses it to interrupt Cullen, speak for him and make it about her. I also found it off-putting that she suddenly wants to wear her therapist hat and talk like she knows it all. If she knew how to handle things, they wouldn’t have gotten this bad. No one wants to be married to a parent, and the way Katie speaks to and of Cullen is very condescending. Maybe it’s deserved, or maybe not, but it won’t help her marriage. The comment about raising the kids alone was also dismissive, and I think she’s made it very clear that to keep his kids they need to stay together. I also think she did a lot of rug sweeping and they were both acting more ok than they are. The hugging and kissing was too much in my opinion, and felt so forced.... as did Katie’s talk of how much she still loves Cullen. If you’re in so deep that you’re “done” you just aren’t in that place to express how much you love your partner from my experience.

Katie justified the delay and dismissed people’s concerns about it. Because you know, it’s not like happy viewers might lighten the pressure that Cullen feels is on him or anything


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I agree. Katie presented herself exactly as I thought she would. Briefly admitted to issues, but acted superior to the viewers. Acting condescending and dismissive of Cullen’s feelings and disregarding the viewers (their source of income currently).

[Lovethesnark]

I agree that he's probably cheated. I've thought that for a while. I think living a public life has made that easier for Cullen. That's why they're saying they have to deal with things normal couples won't face. I'm sure he gets plenty of attention from other women. It's probably why he's saying he's realized he more like his father.

[prettypink-dreamer]

I’m only 5 or so minutes in but if you love someone & you see them crying, you comfort them! Cullen is crying & Katie didn’t even put her hand on his back or anything to just comfort him. I think he wants this marriage to work more then she does.


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[Theirmom]

After watching that I get the feeling that at some point Cullen cheated on Katie. I think there are substance issues as well, but how they kept coming back to unforgivable things affecting their marriage- infidelity was top of my mind.

I don’t think infidelity. I think it’s more likely that he said awful things to her during all out screaming matches. Possibly punching holes in walls, throwing things, breaking stuff. Leaving on a bender, and late night phone calls to say he’s never coming back and that he’s better off alone.

Maybe a strip club or something, but I don’t think straight up cheating.

I don’t think Katie has any hope that the marriage will work, and I don’t think Cullen knows that. I think Cullen believes that with the right meds, and the right therapy, and enough hugs and good deeds everything will be fine. And I think Katie has no faith that he can do those things. They’ve got a lot of work to do.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

It definitely seems like Katie is more then willing to let Cullen blame himself for the state of their marriage. Which isn’t helping his depression. She didn’t give the impression to me that she believes she’s part of the problem.

[HelloSweetie]

It definitely seems like Katie is more then willing to let Cullen blame himself for the state of their marriage. Which isn’t helping his depression. She didn’t give the impression to me that she believes she’s part of the problem.

100%


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[HashtagBlessed]

Besides drug use, infidelity and physical abuse what would you consider unforgivable?

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Those are the major betrayals that come to mind. Like, sometimes my husband forgets things and it grates on my nerves and I have a moment of, "This is ridiculous! I will not live like this!" overreaction, but in order for it to be "unforgivable" and not just your average run-of-the-mill annoyance, I would think it would need to be lying about infidelity, drug abuse, or another type of abuse, whether it's physical or emotional. For me, "unforgivable" has to do with breaking trust, because once you can no longer trust your partner, it's very hard to regain that. I think that whatever has happened has lead Katie to lose respect for him, and that's why she comes across as condescending and contemptuous, which is also another big red flag.

They mention in the video that they're looking for a new therapist, because as Cullen put it they're about to get really intimate with their problems and he needs to be more comfortable with their therapist than he is with the current one. To me, that sounds like Cullen is about to own up to some things that carry a lot of guilt and shame, and he can't go there with their current therapist for whatever reason.

The way they talk about it, it's clear that Cullen is the one that "needs work" and Katie isn't so much in the wrong. I don't know the intimate details of their marriage, so I can't say one way or the other. But that's definitely the vibe they're giving off. We don't know exactly what happened. Maybe what Cullen did or said was unforgivable. We only know that they choose to share, which is obviously going to be filtered to portray them in a certain light.