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No_Sugarcoating11 wrote:In her last vlog she said the baby has marginal cord insertion. That can be serious and even lead to stillbirth. I'm glad she is being monitored closely but I don't have a good feeling about this pregnancy.
Is she at least at a viable point in the pregnancy? Regardless of my thoughts on joan and john, i’d hate for anything to happen to their baby
No_Sugarcoating11 wrote:In her last vlog she said the baby has marginal cord insertion. That can be serious and even lead to stillbirth. I'm glad she is being monitored closely but I don't have a good feeling about this pregnancy.
Is she at least at a viable point in the pregnancy? Regardless of my thoughts on joan and john, i’d hate for anything to happen to their baby
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Absolutely. They're sketchy and self absorbed, but I don't wish them any harm. Despite what John thinks about us haters, I don't think anyone here does.
No_Sugarcoating11 wrote:In her last vlog she said the baby has marginal cord insertion. That can be serious and even lead to stillbirth. I'm glad she is being monitored closely but I don't have a good feeling about this pregnancy.
Is she at least at a viable point in the pregnancy? Regardless of my thoughts on joan and john, i’d hate for anything to happen to their baby
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Yes, they’ve reached 3rd trimester. She’s at 28 weeks. I’ve never heard of marginal cord insertion.. can anyone give me the cliff notes?
She mentions in one of her posts that it was part of it, I think.
I as someone who tolerates them really hope everything turns out well and she just has a normal pregnancy for at least until 34 weeks, at 34 weeks she has a very good chance of having a take home baby within a week depending on weight and how well vera breathes and eats. At 34 weeks if they had to induce it'd be close enough to 37 that Vera would be okay, and I feel like everyone here agrees that they home for a good outcome.
Wow, if it was part of what caused Maeve's problems, and she has it again, that's pretty freaky. It occurs in roughly 7% of pregnancies. It's pretty rare. But there are risk factors. Maybe she has some of them.
Scary.
Joan has said that Maeve’s condition wasn’t hereditary, but if her next baby developed it she would give birth early. Praying, with fingers crossed that they have a healthy baby
lmmomSD wrote:Wow, if it was part of what caused Maeve's problems, and she has it again, that's pretty freaky. It occurs in roughly 7% of pregnancies. It's pretty rare. But there are risk factors. Maybe she has some of them.
Scary.
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I agree. It has to be terrifying that this pregnancy is already starting to show similarities to Maeve's. They must be so worried. I hope and pray that Vera turns out healthy. Even if it means delivering a bit early, it's much better than waiting too late and getting an outcome like with Maeve. At least this pregnancy, they aren't dealing with the same incompetent midwives.
lmmomSD wrote:Wow, if it was part of what caused Maeve's problems, and she has it again, that's pretty freaky. It occurs in roughly 7% of pregnancies. It's pretty rare. But there are risk factors. Maybe she has some of them.
Scary.
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I agree. It has to be terrifying that this pregnancy is already starting to show similarities to Maeve's. They must be so worried. I hope and pray that Vera turns out healthy. Even if it means delivering a bit early, it's much better than waiting too late and getting an outcome like with Maeve. At least this pregnancy, they aren't dealing with the same incompetent midwives.
If God forbid this pregnancy ends in a loss, I can see Joan going off the deep end. I can see her and John getting divorced and Joan becoming suicidal.
I’ve been following this thread for a couple of days now and I’ve taken the time to read almost every post. I have suffered major depression, hospitalizations, abusive relationships, infertility, divorce, you name it. It doesn’t make me special on the contrary it makes me realize that many women and men have gone through similar trials and they’ve successfully overcome them. It gives me hope. Prior to my disability I worked as a CPS Investigator for 3 years. I’m proactive in my treatment (I also suffer an autoimmune disorder) anyway!!!!
It wasn’t hard to see that Joan speaks over John most of the time. She’s always interrupting him. I used to do this to my ex-husband because I resented him for many things and I felt that his opinion was inferior. (This behavior was before I received help). That was the first thing that stood out from the first videos that I watched. I became interested in their story and their videos made me feel hopeful about overcoming loss and finding true love. I considered donating some of my limited income to them until I saw Joan getting her hair done, eating at restaurants, shopping here and there, and doing things that I simply cannot afford. Well, I still watched and disregarded those little things.
Then...
I watched a video (not sure which one) where Joan talks about their new family dynamic. She says that they will have two girls just like her parents did. She says that the only difference is that in her family she would have been the one that died (oldest - Maeve). John looks surprised at that comment and does not acknowledge it. This really concerned me because it sounds like she might have gone through extreme feelings of guilt for being alive after Maeve died. Would postpartum depression cause her to feel like she should die just like Maeve did. I’m worried about Vera because she’s at risk of losing her mother. I’ll try to look for the video, I honestly don’t remember which one it was but it’s TRUE.
Another thing that reminded me of my ex-husband was when Joan was on FaceTime with a fellow youtuber. Joan commented on the youtuber’s eyelashes/makeup and John interrupts by saying, “well, that’s how you get them numbers”. The fellow youtuber’s facial expressions became frozen and she ignored John. The comment was inappropriate! I’m sure comments like that don’t make Joan feel any better. This comment might seem innocent but after investigating abusive couples and observing their interactions, i can tell you that there’s a lot more to this.
I once had a very similar CPS investigation where the mother had recently lost a child. The case was called in because a younger child accidentally drank a whole bottle of Tylenol (not enough evidence to prove that it was intentional). Anyway after I interviewed the mother I discovered that she was suicidal and she had a recent suicide attempt. All the signs were there. The mother’s suicide attempt while her children were home raised no concerns for the children’s safety because neighbors quickly assumed care of the children. The emergency personnel did not see the children and the house did not have any visible baby objects. Odd, isn’t it? I can’t say more about the outcome on this case but this shows that it’s scarily easy to miss red flags.
On a side note I became disabled mainly due to my physical symptoms in case anybody is wondering about my competence to work as a CPS Investigator. However my doctor and I made the call to have me stop working right away because in order to ensure the safety of 30+ children in your workload you need to be mentally, emotionally and physically healthy.
A Marginal Cord Insertion is quite serious but with proper constant monitoring like stress tests she and bub should be okay. In short if a patient of mine has this, I try to explain (best way my superiors explained to me in uni and training), that it's the cord being at the very edge of the placenta. If you draw a simple balloon drawing, where the string is coming out at the edge, most severe MCIs look like that. ~O <-- like this (I can't find the emoji).
Skip to next post, the stillbirth advocate in me has a few words to say.
With stillbirths, having had two myself and specialising in "bereavement births" as my hospital calls it, is that most parents, like us, don't ask for autopsies. Most of those cases with intense blood tests come out as inconclusive and the death is considered medically "unknown." Whatever happened to Maeve, I wouldn't want to speculate myself because stillbirth is too close to home and I have compassion for Joan for having gone through it (though I dont agree with a lot of what she says or does about Maeve but each to their own). In Australia 6 babies are stillborn every day. In utero or during birth. I watch Joan only because I support her getting the word out. Women should know more about worst case scenarios, so they could identify risk factors and be encouraged to seek help, without feeling guilty or shy, with a medical professional rather than googling their symptoms and worries. Better safe than sorry.
Sorry/not sorry for the complete side note. I'm a huge advocate for trusting your body and gut to seek a professional if you have a feeling something is 'off' during pregnancy.
why does she always gotta play the pain olympics? in her most recent post she says that her and john “have been dealt more pain and sorrow than most”. it’s so insensitive considering she knows a good portion of her followers are people who have gone through/are still going through what she’s dealt with. just let your experiences speak for themselves instead of constantly throwing it in the faces of struggling people how certain you are that you have it worse than them :\
The pain Olympics kills me. How does she even know what others have been through. She wouldn’t be able to function if she lost a living breathing child she was raising. I read That too. Everyone has been through something. She doesn’t get a prize.
I'm sorry what? They've been through more pain and sorrow than most because they had a stillbirth and miscarriages? Am I missing something? Go talk to any parent on the pediatric oncology ward, talk to pediatric trauma doctors and ask them about the horrific deaths they've tried to prevent...then get back to me.
They have certainly endured a horrible loss but it's not worse than most people go through. Unfortunately many people have gone through exactly what they did.
That's the thing. Their loss was horrific. But almost everyone has been through loss. And saying her pain is more valid than someone else's, or that bit she does where moms who lost older children should be grateful that they got to know their children, is so dismissive and rude. And narcissistic.
lmmomSD wrote:That's the thing. Their loss was horrific. But almost everyone has been through loss. And saying her pain is more valid than someone else's, or that bit she does where moms who lost older children should be grateful that they got to know their children, is so dismissive and rude. And narcissistic.
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I dont like that either! The worse is when I hear mothers degrade their own emotions. A loss is a loss whether your baby was a an early loss and you were ttc for many years or months, or if you werent even ttc and feel sorrow and grief, whether the baby was 20 weeks full term, newborn, 2 years, 15 years, 30 years or 50 years old it doesnt matter. You lost someone you had an emotional connection to. Grief is a rollercoaster and sometimes it's not. It's all very personal. How one reacts to your grief is what matters. If you seek help or you don't it's up to the individual. I dont agree how Joan has 'reacted' but there are some aspects that are healthy like, keeping Maeve's memory alive whereas 30 years ago that was very condemned by society to talk about your dead child, let alone a stillbirth. Playing pain or grief olympics is the opposite of female empowerment. Hasnt she spoken about that once?
Maybe I’m taking it the wrong way, but this just feels like she’s blaming the midwives. Does she not realize that ultrasounds aren’t done every appointment?! I had 3 with my last pregnancy, and the 3rd was only because the doctor wanted another look at growth.
Midwives do great things, and honestly a piece of string isn’t that much different than the tape measure used by the OB docs.
