John and Joan,The bold and the pregnant || Part 2 ||

[Playsinrain]

[img]

Maybe I’m taking it the wrong way, but this just feels like she’s blaming the midwives. Does she not realize that ultrasounds aren’t done every appointment?! I had 3 with my last pregnancy, and the 3rd was only because the doctor wanted another look at growth.
Midwives do great things, and honestly a piece of string isn’t that much different than the tape measure used by the OB docs.


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I'm pretty sure she has came right out and said she blames the midwives 100%.
String or a tape measure would not have changed the outcome of her pregnancy with Maeve. There is zero difference between a piece of string that is 40cm long and a tape measure. Maeve would have still been growth restricted. did the midwives overlook something they shouldn't have? We have no idea, but going to a dr vs going to a midwife would not have changed Maeve's growth.
Joan has never experienced a normal, low risk, healthy pregnancy. I had 2 ultrasounds with my pregnancy. I feel like between 2-4 is the norm. 20 (so far) is NOT NORMAL... not that she doesn't need them, i'm not a professional, so i dont know, but i do know that a normal low risk pregnancy would not be given that many. It almost feels like to me that she is convinced that the dr she is seeing now is keeping this baby alive, in the same way that she thinks her midwives killed Maeve. She doesn't seem to understand that Maeve's outcome would have just as easily been the same if she had been going to this same doctor, and that Vera would be just as healthy if she were seen by midwives. Some babies thrive, some babies don't and while yes modern medicine does amazing things, sometimes babies die, and that can't always be prevented even with the best of care and 40 ultrasounds and laser precise belly measurements.

[kittypurry]

Yeah I think measuring the fundal height to check growth is standard procedure for low risk pregnancies, which is what Joan was with Maeve. I want to say she did have ultrasounds in her third trimester once they suspected her growth was off. Wasn’t it during an ultrasound that they found out she had passed? She was scheduled to be induced later that week when they found out, so it’s not like the midwives didn’t think there was an issue—they just didn’t act quickly enough. I’ll try to find screenshots later today. Unfortunately it’s hard to get a clear picture of what actually happened since Joan’s story keeps changing


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[1000Words]

Does Joan realize 95% or women don’t have the luxury of having 100 ultrasounds and 2 + appointments a week? Or are able to spend an hour each night counting kicks?
Also I wonder If she will request Vera be taken early?? She seems to be a normal baby growing well. I will definitely be irked if she requests a baby be taken at 37/38 weeks if she’s a normal healthy baby. There is no need but Joan will devise a plan...
Also working 40 hours a week and pregnant and always needing to sit. It’s just not real life.
So many women can’t.
So when she miraculously gets pregnant with another baby when Vera is still tiny and can’t handle life what is she going to do then?
She’s very self absorbed in her posts as she doesn’t realize she isn’t living the normal life... some people have multiple jobs to survive. They don’t get a go
Fund me.
Also what her midwives did was normal.
She keeps dissing midwives and such but her care was that Of a regular pregnancy. My regular doctors office does the same. She wasn’t advocating for herself. Or Maeve if she really thought there was an issue you don’t go back 4 x you go and advocate for your damn self and child.

[lmmomSD]

The dissing of midwives like they're "substandard" really pisses me off. Midwives are well-educated, require advanced degrees, and sometimes provide better, more holistic patient centered care than MD's because doctors and nurses are different in their approach. My pregnancy with my daughter was taken care of by a doctor, and the Navy gave me a midwife for my son. Both gave me excellent care. I got treated like crap by an MD who said he "cured" my endometriosis by lasering visible implants. There are bad apples in every barrel. She really pisses me off with her "midwives are bad providers" BS. Especially because other women seem to look up to her-- don't ask me why.


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[SassySassenach]

Does Joan realize 95% or women don’t have the luxury of having 100 ultrasounds and 2 + appointments a week? Or are able to spend an hour each night counting kicks?
Also I wonder If she will request Vera be taken early?? She seems to be a normal baby growing well. I will definitely be irked if she requests a baby be taken at 37/38 weeks if she’s a normal healthy baby. There is no need but Joan will devise a plan...
Also working 40 hours a week and pregnant and always needing to sit. It’s just not real life.
So many women can’t.
So when she miraculously gets pregnant with another baby when Vera is still tiny and can’t handle life what is she going to do then?
She’s very self absorbed in her posts as she doesn’t realize she isn’t living the normal life... some people have multiple jobs to survive. They don’t get a go
Fund me.
Also what her midwives did was normal.
She keeps dissing midwives and such but her care was that Of a regular pregnancy. My regular doctors office does the same. She wasn’t advocating for herself. Or Maeve if she really thought there was an issue you don’t go back 4 x you go and advocate for your damn self and child.

She had said that Vera will be delivered between 37-39 weeks. The more I see of her posts, the more I just don’t understand why people are fawning over her. She’s a narcissist & shows a complete lack of empathy for others.

She’s definitely in her own fantasy world. I truly hope she’s ready for what life with an infant really entails. Sadly, I feel like she’s already building up this image of who Vera is.. and the crazy fans are just encouraging it.


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[boredmamaneedsdrama]

The dissing of midwives like they're "substandard" really pisses me off. Midwives are well-educated, require advanced degrees, and sometimes provide better, more holistic patient centered care than MD's because doctors and nurses are different in their approach. My pregnancy with my daughter was taken care of by a doctor, and the Navy gave me a midwife for my son. Both gave me excellent care. I got treated like crap by an MD who said he "cured" my endometriosis by lasering visible implants. There are bad apples in every barrel. She really pisses me off with her "midwives are bad providers" BS. Especially because other women seem to look up to her-- don't ask me why.


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OMG, yes! All of this! Midwives don't sit in a circle singing Kumbaya and hoping for the best. Her dissing drives me insane. Closed the video after that part.

[Tiger27]

Did she see a certified nurse midwife or an certified professional midwife (aka internet certificate/apprenticeship midwife)? I hate that the two share the same name as they are vastly different and the cpm education requirements and scope of practice greatly varies by state!! I think it’s very confusing to the general public.

[lmmomSD]

Did she see a certified nurse midwife or an certified professional midwife (aka internet certificate/apprenticeship midwife)? I hate that the two share the same name as they are vastly different and the cpm education requirements and scope of practice greatly varies by state!! I think it’s very confusing to the general public.

Very true. I _think_ that because it was a group practice, it was a CNM.
Don't get me started on the other, or people who aren't qualified and call themselves midwives. That's a whole different story.


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[kittypurry]

They are CNMs, Back Cove midwives is the name of the group she went to


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[kittypurry]

Here’s what that wrote on their Yelp review. I count minimum of four ultrasounds, not counting the anatomy scan they almost certainly had at 20 weeks, and any early/dating ultrasounds. Once again, Joan is misremembering What actually happened

“We went to several assigned caregivers for scheduled ultrasounds as per the order of the midwives. All was going seemingly well until after the 28th week sonogram. Up until that point the baby was "at the 45th percentile" for her weight. Between sonograms the midwives were merely measuring Joan's belly with a length of tape. It took 4 scheduled visits (and 4 months) for them to determine the baby "wasn't growing." At her next sonogram, the baby had dropped to "the 6th percentile." Joan and I expressed concern but were assured expecting mothers need only be under constant monitoring in the hospital if the baby dips to the 5th percentile... close enough, we'd say! Still, we trusted in their expertise.

At week 35 we had a sonogram at the Mercy Birthcenter which concluded her weight to be 5 pounds and that Joan had very low amniotic fluid. At week 36 we had two sonograms at Maine Med: the first of which Maeve was recorded to weigh 4lbs, 10oz, the second sonogram reading 4lbs, 5oz. Each reading was subsequently given to the midwives who determined the machines were improperly calibrated, rather than the baby was quickly losing weight. One midwife even joked that "they had better get the machines figured out." Joan and I were increasingly concerned but we still trusted the midwives professional opinion, with only one week to go before Joan's scheduled inducing. They frequently referred to Maeve as "a petit", that she "would be small but perfectly healthy."

At our 36th week sonogram one ultrasound tech was able to determine a potential concern. The umbilical cord was attached to a corner of the placenta and not at the center (the latter is much more common). She mused that this could be effectively choking the supply of nutrients but confirmed that blood-flow through the umbilical cord as well as in the babies brain and kidney were functioning perfectly well. The tech was also able to determine that the placenta "seemed small" for such a late term. Nothing was done to treat this issue and we were given no special instructions no matter how many pointed questions we asked. We specifically inquired if Joan should reduce her hours at work, be put on bedrest or be full-on taken into the hospital for monitoring: the answer was always "no" with chuckling and nodding.

Regarding the low amniotic fluid, the only special instructions we (sort-of) received were from the sonogram tech who suggested Joan drink more water. Joan then upped her already fairly high daily water intake to 5-6 liters a day. When she did receive any kind of instruction, barring prescriptions counter-indicative to pregnancy, she followed them. She also took prenatal vitamins, did prenatal yoga and ate a balanced, nutritious diet and was never exposed to potentially harmful solvents or cleaners.

What would be Maeve's last sonogram took place on Friday the fifth. Her amniotic fluid levels had rebounded slightly but Maeve's weight had held st” (review cuts off)


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[kittypurry]

Also, as you can see, they were not just using a “piece of string” to track Maeve’s growth, she had multiple growth ultrasounds in the third trimester


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[Playsinrain]

Does Joan realize 95% or women don’t have the luxury of having 100 ultrasounds and 2 + appointments a week? Or are able to spend an hour each night counting kicks?
Also I wonder If she will request Vera be taken early?? She seems to be a normal baby growing well. I will definitely be irked if she requests a baby be taken at 37/38 weeks if she’s a normal healthy baby. There is no need but Joan will devise a plan...
Also working 40 hours a week and pregnant and always needing to sit. It’s just not real life.
So many women can’t.
So when she miraculously gets pregnant with another baby when Vera is still tiny and can’t handle life what is she going to do then?
She’s very self absorbed in her posts as she doesn’t realize she isn’t living the normal life... some people have multiple jobs to survive. They don’t get a go
Fund me.
Also what her midwives did was normal.
She keeps dissing midwives and such but her care was that Of a regular pregnancy. My regular doctors office does the same. She wasn’t advocating for herself. Or Maeve if she really thought there was an issue you don’t go back 4 x you go and advocate for your damn self and child.

She had said that Vera will be delivered between 37-39 weeks. The more I see of her posts, the more I just don’t understand why people are fawning over her. She’s a narcissist & shows a complete lack of empathy for others.

She’s definitely in her own fantasy world. I truly hope she’s ready for what life with an infant really entails. Sadly, I feel like she’s already building up this image of who Vera is.. and the crazy fans are just encouraging it.


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Yeah she outright says that she will be induced with medications between 37-39 weeks "like before" she then ignores questions about why she would be inducing early if everything looks perfectly normal with Vera. I have no idea why this would be considered with her, Maeves issues had nothing to do with her labor or delivery so why take the risk of delivering early?? She does realize that the reason she was medically induced was bc her baby was dead, right? Not bc there was some issue with her carrying to full term... Her trash talking ALL midwives is super ignorant and disgusting. And people fawning all over her "I'm so sorry Maeve wasnt given the same treatment and wasn't watched as closely as Vera..." do none of these people realize that the ONLY reason she is so closely monitored is bc Maeve passed? If Maeve was born alive or this was her first pregnancy they would not be so closely watched. Her care is not the norm for a normal pregnancy. If they go on to have more children after this, (i assume) she will go back to low risk care, and she will more than likely lose her mind and freak out on the dr's bc they are measuring her with a tape measure and she's not getting 20 + ultrasounds. (Which opens a whole other can of worms... has it not been said that overuse of sonograms can be harmful for baby?? I wonder if Joan knows that...)

[HelloSweetie]

Does Joan realize 95% or women don’t have the luxury of having 100 ultrasounds and 2 + appointments a week? Or are able to spend an hour each night counting kicks?
Also I wonder If she will request Vera be taken early?? She seems to be a normal baby growing well. I will definitely be irked if she requests a baby be taken at 37/38 weeks if she’s a normal healthy baby. There is no need but Joan will devise a plan...
Also working 40 hours a week and pregnant and always needing to sit. It’s just not real life.
So many women can’t.
So when she miraculously gets pregnant with another baby when Vera is still tiny and can’t handle life what is she going to do then?
She’s very self absorbed in her posts as she doesn’t realize she isn’t living the normal life... some people have multiple jobs to survive. They don’t get a go
Fund me.
Also what her midwives did was normal.
She keeps dissing midwives and such but her care was that Of a regular pregnancy. My regular doctors office does the same. She wasn’t advocating for herself. Or Maeve if she really thought there was an issue you don’t go back 4 x you go and advocate for your damn self and child.

She had said that Vera will be delivered between 37-39 weeks. The more I see of her posts, the more I just don’t understand why people are fawning over her. She’s a narcissist & shows a complete lack of empathy for others.

She’s definitely in her own fantasy world. I truly hope she’s ready for what life with an infant really entails. Sadly, I feel like she’s already building up this image of who Vera is.. and the crazy fans are just encouraging it.


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Yeah she outright says that she will be induced with medications between 37-39 weeks "like before" she then ignores questions about why she would be inducing early if everything looks perfectly normal with Vera. I have no idea why this would be considered with her, Maeves issues had nothing to do with her labor or delivery so why take the risk of delivering early?? She does realize that the reason she was medically induced was bc her baby was dead, right? Not bc there was some issue with her carrying to full term... Her trash talking ALL midwives is super ignorant and disgusting. And people fawning all over her "I'm so sorry Maeve wasnt given the same treatment and wasn't watched as closely as Vera..." do none of these people realize that the ONLY reason she is so closely monitored is bc Maeve passed? If Maeve was born alive or this was her first pregnancy they would not be so closely watched. Her care is not the norm for a normal pregnancy. If they go on to have more children after this, (i assume) she will go back to low risk care, and she will more than likely lose her mind and freak out on the dr's bc they are measuring her with a tape measure and she's not getting 20 + ultrasounds. (Which opens a whole other can of worms... has it not been said that overuse of sonograms can be harmful for baby?? I wonder if Joan knows that...)

They are accommodating Joan because she is a squeaky wheel nutcase and that won't change. Her next pregnant will get the same care and attention as this one or she will cry foul.




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[1000Words]

Does Joan realize 95% or women don’t have the luxury of having 100 ultrasounds and 2 + appointments a week? Or are able to spend an hour each night counting kicks?
Also I wonder If she will request Vera be taken early?? She seems to be a normal baby growing well. I will definitely be irked if she requests a baby be taken at 37/38 weeks if she’s a normal healthy baby. There is no need but Joan will devise a plan...
Also working 40 hours a week and pregnant and always needing to sit. It’s just not real life.
So many women can’t.
So when she miraculously gets pregnant with another baby when Vera is still tiny and can’t handle life what is she going to do then?
She’s very self absorbed in her posts as she doesn’t realize she isn’t living the normal life... some people have multiple jobs to survive. They don’t get a go
Fund me.
Also what her midwives did was normal.
She keeps dissing midwives and such but her care was that Of a regular pregnancy. My regular doctors office does the same. She wasn’t advocating for herself. Or Maeve if she really thought there was an issue you don’t go back 4 x you go and advocate for your damn self and child.

She had said that Vera will be delivered between 37-39 weeks. The more I see of her posts, the more I just don’t understand why people are fawning over her. She’s a narcissist & shows a complete lack of empathy for others.

She’s definitely in her own fantasy world. I truly hope she’s ready for what life with an infant really entails. Sadly, I feel like she’s already building up this image of who Vera is.. and the crazy fans are just encouraging it.


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Yes but she said she wants Vera delivered 37-38 weeks. Normal people know that at least 39 weeks is full term. Before that - yes a lot of babies are fine but some are not. So to deliver a healthy child for peace of mind and no other reason is a really selfish way to start motherhood. Also anyone who’s ever been induced knows that there’s a higher chance of c section.
If Vera is big and perfect and Maeve was an anomaly (people who’ve had more than one child know how often each pregnancy is so different) why not let her grow safely inside. It’s just selfish. We all want our babies out at the end. But in reality be a good mom and let her come at her appointed time.

Maybe she wants a 37 week baby who ends up not being able to breathe correctly and gets bad Jaudice and is sent to the NICU and can’t nurse because mama wanted her out for peace of mind. Pisses me off

[Bumblebee93]

Does Joan realize 95% or women don’t have the luxury of having 100 ultrasounds and 2 + appointments a week? Or are able to spend an hour each night counting kicks?
Also I wonder If she will request Vera be taken early?? She seems to be a normal baby growing well. I will definitely be irked if she requests a baby be taken at 37/38 weeks if she’s a normal healthy baby. There is no need but Joan will devise a plan...
Also working 40 hours a week and pregnant and always needing to sit. It’s just not real life.
So many women can’t.
So when she miraculously gets pregnant with another baby when Vera is still tiny and can’t handle life what is she going to do then?
She’s very self absorbed in her posts as she doesn’t realize she isn’t living the normal life... some people have multiple jobs to survive. They don’t get a go
Fund me.
Also what her midwives did was normal.
She keeps dissing midwives and such but her care was that Of a regular pregnancy. My regular doctors office does the same. She wasn’t advocating for herself. Or Maeve if she really thought there was an issue you don’t go back 4 x you go and advocate for your damn self and child.

She had said that Vera will be delivered between 37-39 weeks. The more I see of her posts, the more I just don’t understand why people are fawning over her. She’s a narcissist & shows a complete lack of empathy for others.

She’s definitely in her own fantasy world. I truly hope she’s ready for what life with an infant really entails. Sadly, I feel like she’s already building up this image of who Vera is.. and the crazy fans are just encouraging it.


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Yes but she said she wants Vera delivered 37-38 weeks. Normal people know that at least 39 weeks is full term. Before that - yes a lot of babies are fine but some are not. So to deliver a healthy child for peace of mind and no other reason is a really selfish way to start motherhood. Also anyone who’s ever been induced knows that there’s a higher chance of c section.
If Vera is big and perfect and Maeve was an anomaly (people who’ve had more than one child know how often each pregnancy is so different) why not let her grow safely inside. It’s just selfish. We all want our babies out at the end. But in reality be a good mom and let her come at her appointed time.

Maybe she wants a 37 week baby who ends up not being able to breathe correctly and gets bad Jaudice and is sent to the NICU and can’t nurse because mama wanted her out for peace of mind. Pisses me off

Ok i've never watched John and Joan but have to add - my friend lost her baby at term after a perfect, healthy pregnancy last year. Everything was fine up until labour although they later found out that the baby had been a bit ill just beforehand i think? their second baby was delivered last month. She was due at the beginning of April but was advised with good reasons by the midwife/consultant team that a caesarean two weeks earlier would be best for her and her baby to avoid what happened in the last pregnancy and the baby getting ill and suffering through a natural delivery before stopping breathing and suffering brain damage (what happened last time). and yes, their new baby was delivered early with no issues and is at a good size with no health issues. I'm not surprised she is wanting to deliver early. In fact, knowing what i know now, i'd be more surprised if she didnt.

[1000Words]

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Ok i've never watched John and Joan but have to add - my friend lost her baby at term after a perfect, healthy pregnancy last year. Everything was fine up until labour although they later found out that the baby had been a bit ill just beforehand i think? their second baby was delivered last month. She was due at the beginning of April but was advised with good reasons by the midwife/consultant team that a caesarean two weeks earlier would be best for her and her baby to avoid what happened in the last pregnancy and the baby getting ill and suffering through a natural delivery before stopping breathing and suffering brain damage (what happened last time). and yes, their new baby was delivered early with no issues and is at a good size with no health issues. I'm not surprised she is wanting to deliver early. In fact, knowing what i know now, i'd be more surprised if she didnt.[/quote]

Maeve specifically had things wrong with her and the pregnancy. They never did an autopsy so they cannot be sure she also didn’t have birth defects.

Vera is 100% healthy and so is Joan’s pregnancy. That’s not because someone is doing 20 + ultrasounds it is because it’s a different baby and different pregnancy

[ughpleasee]

I'm pretty sure doctors would recommend an early delivery in this case, since she had a still birth. A truly selfish reason would be to plan a c-section before 39 weeks only cause you want your kids to be born on the same day. Maeve was relatively healthy until the last few weeks. I think if the baby is big enough to be born early, it makes sense to do so.

[SassySassenach]

I'm pretty sure doctors would recommend an early delivery in this case, since she had a still birth. A truly selfish reason would be to plan a c-section before 39 weeks only cause you want your kids to be born on the same day. Maeve was relatively healthy until the last few weeks. I think if the baby is big enough to be born early, it makes sense to do so.

When is Joan’s due date compared to Maeve’s birth??


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[TheOneWhoBlogs]

I'm pretty sure doctors would recommend an early delivery in this case, since she had a still birth. A truly selfish reason would be to plan a c-section before 39 weeks only cause you want your kids to be born on the same day. Maeve was relatively healthy until the last few weeks. I think if the baby is big enough to be born early, it makes sense to do so.

When is Joan’s due date compared to Maeve’s birth??


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Same due date for both pregnancies.

[NellieNovember]

I was just talking to my OB about this. It is absolutely the recommendation after stillbirth to deliver between 37-38 weeks the next baby for many, many reasons. So that specific point isn’t Joan being selfish, that is the standard medical recommendation as of recent.