John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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notclever wrote:
LCCS225 wrote:As a mom who has lost a baby and also a mom who went through severe postpartum depression following the birth of my first baby, I really have given Joan the benefit of the doubt. I have been nothing but supportive of her journey.

Yesterday, I commented on her Instagram of the C-section scar that there is no reason to "rate" other people's pain, that we all process and handle grief differently. It was not disrespectful in ANY way. Well. She instantly blocked me. I am shocked--she and I have actually communicated over Instagram in the past and like that, she blocked me. I really worry she is mentally unstable. I also think she is a spoiled child who cannot stand to have anyone dare to question HER pain and HER loss. For the first time, I feel sorry for John and worried for Vera.
Same! She blocked me for my comment too and I was respectful to her. I just didn't agree with her. I even told her I was happy that Vera was here safely and that both her AND Maeve were lovely.

I have tried to not judge her because I don't understand what's she going through but it's clear she lost friends because she can't stand hearing any sort of criticism. It's very sad. I am glad that John seems to be so happy because I think Vera will need him if Joan can't wake up. I really think she's been sad so long she doesn't know how to just be happy.


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That's the reason I don't say anything because you never know what might upset Joan as frivolous as it may be. It's like eggshells.

I've been in groups in the loss community for almost 10 years and I've never encountered anyone like Joan. She's been seeing a grief counselor, but I don't feel like they're helping much. You'd think she'd be on cloud 9 with Vera here.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by LCCS225 »

Well I feel slightly better knowing that it wasn't just me! For a second, I wished there was a way to apologize to her...but I honestly did NOTHING WRONG. I have faced many tragedies in my life and you can't let the sadness eat you alive. You have to pick yourself up and keep going and she clearly cannot do that. And what makes me sad is now she has a living, breathing child who needs her, but all Joan wants to do is wallow in grief. It is so unhealthy and sad that she cannot truly appreciate what she has. I really cannot stand her "my pain is the worst" mentality.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by lmmomSD »

LCCS225 wrote:Well I feel slightly better knowing that it wasn't just me! For a second, I wished there was a way to apologize to her...but I honestly did NOTHING WRONG. I have faced many tragedies in my life and you can't let the sadness eat you alive. You have to pick yourself up and keep going and she clearly cannot do that. And what makes me sad is now she has a living, breathing child who needs her, but all Joan wants to do is wallow in grief. It is so unhealthy and sad that she cannot truly appreciate what she has. I really cannot stand her "my pain is the worst" mentality.
That's what I meant about her lack of perspective and gratitude. She has SO MUCH to be grateful for. And she just can't or won't see it. I feel so bad for Vera. She is innocent, and it's almost like she's going to be punished for having lived and not Maeve.

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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by Amelia322 »

It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by 1000Words »

lmmomSD wrote:
DreamLead wrote:Man, Joan just will not let Maeve rest in peace. You're finally a mom now, focus on your only child.. Vera. She's here, she's alive and she needs you. Let Maeve go, cherish the memory of her and be thankful you were given a second chance. MANYY people have been through more grief than you will ever experience in your life Joan. We get it, your fetus died, but man it's been 3 years.. move on with your life. Change your lock screen, put vera first in your bio, change your profile picture.. M O V E O N.
This. She thinks she won the Pain Olympics, but how many women never get to take a baby home and suffer multiple losses? She has NO perspective. She puts down other women who share their grief with her. And she has so much to be thankful for, not just Vera-- she has a beautiful home. A supportive husband, who has a job. She has a job, even if she chooses not to go back to it. She had prenatal care, and never goes to bed hungry. And Vera isn't likely to. She has thousands of followers who think she's beautiful and brave.
It just pisses me off when people are so blind to their blessings. Gratitude can really change your day. Every time I am feeling bad about my life, I think about all the homeless people in my town-- and there are a LOT of them. Sure makes me feel better about things I don't like. I am not a saint. But I know how important it is to be grateful for what you do have. And she isn't.

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This. It’s also not kind or fair to tell another person what they are allowed to grieve or what is called grief. It’s so degrading and rude.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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here4thepopcorn wrote:I am not sure what I am more irritated with at the moment:
1. Joan's Pain Olympics commentary on the photo
or
2. The photo itself and that Instagram refused to remove it for nudity. I reported it. And I know many others did. There is nothing remotely beautiful or touching about that photo. It is inappropriate.

If it was simply about the scar, she could have cropped the photo A LOT more. But she didn't. She used it on purpose to rile people up. I had high hopes that Joan would give birth to Vera and be reborn herself into a happier and more mentally stable person now that she has a living child. Oh how wrong I was, unfortunately. That child deserves a mom that is present and puts her first. Thankfully she has a dad who does that. Joan is setting up her child to resent her later in life. I will be shocked if Joan and John's marriage survive this.

But will John?

Did anyone notice in the you tube video that John chose to take furlough????
They beg for $ and he has. A history of job hopping and not staying stable.... it’s addict behavior. I know He’s doing odd jobs but the point is his lack of stability
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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My husband is a therapist. I've told him about her and he's basically said the same thing we all have. Therapy is not doing what it should for her and if things stay how they are, Vera will most likely have an inferiority complex. It's so sad, just hoping that as the weeks pass, she can accept the fact that she has a living child that needs her

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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by kittypurry »

It seems like Joan is really struggling with wanting to give both her daughters equal attention, and that’s just not feasible, or fair to Vera.


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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by lmmomSD »

1000Words wrote:
lmmomSD wrote:
DreamLead wrote:Man, Joan just will not let Maeve rest in peace. You're finally a mom now, focus on your only child.. Vera. She's here, she's alive and she needs you. Let Maeve go, cherish the memory of her and be thankful you were given a second chance. MANYY people have been through more grief than you will ever experience in your life Joan. We get it, your fetus died, but man it's been 3 years.. move on with your life. Change your lock screen, put vera first in your bio, change your profile picture.. M O V E O N.
This. She thinks she won the Pain Olympics, but how many women never get to take a baby home and suffer multiple losses? She has NO perspective. She puts down other women who share their grief with her. And she has so much to be thankful for, not just Vera-- she has a beautiful home. A supportive husband, who has a job. She has a job, even if she chooses not to go back to it. She had prenatal care, and never goes to bed hungry. And Vera isn't likely to. She has thousands of followers who think she's beautiful and brave.
It just pisses me off when people are so blind to their blessings. Gratitude can really change your day. Every time I am feeling bad about my life, I think about all the homeless people in my town-- and there are a LOT of them. Sure makes me feel better about things I don't like. I am not a saint. But I know how important it is to be grateful for what you do have. And she isn't.

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This. It’s also not kind or fair to tell another person what they are allowed to grieve or what is called grief. It’s so degrading and rude.
Very true. Which is part of why people tiptoe around Joan. Because the rest of is know that everyone grieves how they grieve, and no one else can "rate" their grief or whether or not they should be feeling that way. Except Joan. Because she's apparently suffered more than anyone else, she can tell people that their pain isn't as important as hers.

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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by LCCS225 »

Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.

She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by kittypurry »

I imagine she has a difficult time taking suggestions from a therapist if she’s blocking people left and right for giving their well-meaning advice. Talk therapy is great but if you’re not willing to implement what the therapist suggests you won’t heal, as it’s obvious Joan has not


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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by lmmomSD »

LCCS225 wrote:
Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.

She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
She told a woman on IG who lost a 4 year old daughter that "at least you got 4 years".
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.


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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by cheesecakes »

lmmomSD wrote:
LCCS225 wrote:
Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.

She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
She told a woman on IG who lost a 4 year old daughter that "at least you got 4 years".
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.


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I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of losing a small child. I know stillbirth is devastating, but to lose a child who you have raised and loved, has loved you, and has developed into their own little person would be that x1000.

I balled my eyes out this morning when I saw this story on Facebook https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/12/health/5 ... index.html

I don’t know what I’d do without my 2 boys.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by 1000Words »

LCCS225 wrote:
Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.

She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
I was a real life friend... she blocked us all. She doesn’t have any real old ones left. IF they had kids.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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Can someone post the pic from her insta? She blocked me
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by charmed596 »

lmmomSD wrote:
LCCS225 wrote:
Amelia322 wrote:It’s just sad all around. I think she needs to remove her self from the loss community. I was hoping Vera would be the thing to get her out of her grief funk. I know that it never goes away but it does get better over time. She seems to have been in constant counseling over the last 3 years and it still seems like a recent loss. You would think maybe she’d consider medication since she’s not healing? I wonder what her counselors think... how much can they go over in 3 years? I’ve never been to one longer than 6 months so I’m curious... if anyone has any insight.

This is her opportunity to come out of the sadness. She keeps going back. Her life doesn’t revolve around Maeve anymore, at least it shouldn’t. It’s okay to move on from passed loved ones. They will always be in our hearts. Always.

She pushes everyone away who doesn’t kiss her ass. It’s sad. She can’t handle anything one says! Scary!!

Can you imagine how the in laws feel? Like oh shit we are going to Joan’s it’s better if we just don’t talk in case we make her break down.


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You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.

She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
She told a woman on IG who lost a 4 year old daughter that "at least you got 4 years".
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.


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My dad died this week and I would full on brawl with someone who tried to compare grief. I got 22 years with my dad which is more than a lot get but my grief is obviously still valid. It’s would be incredibly narcissistic to assume otherwise.

I hate the pain Olympics.
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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sadie wrote:Can someone post the pic from her insta? She blocked me
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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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Ah, the special (fox) footie pajamas...

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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

Unread post by lmmomSD »

charmed596 wrote:
lmmomSD wrote:
LCCS225 wrote: You're right. She has surrounded herself for so long with ONLY mothers who have had still births. I think for her own health and the health of her family, she needs to move away from them for a while. I really cannot believe that Joan has any friends in her daily life, everyone must walk on eggshells all the time because having seen the way she reacts to anyone who dares think differently than her on social media, I cannot imagine what she does/says in real life. I'd love to know how she reacts to a person who has never had a child, or has had live children that have then passed away from illness in their young years...because guess what Joan, their pain is probably WORSE than yours.

She is clearly in need of medication and more intensive therapy. But if she is unwilling to let go of Maeve even one iota, even the best therapist will not be able to help her. I wonder if one day Vera will be troubled/upset by the pictures of her dead sister all over their house. That is clearly not a healthy environment for a child.
She told a woman on IG who lost a 4 year old daughter that "at least you got 4 years".
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.


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My dad died this week and I would full on brawl with someone who tried to compare grief. I got 22 years with my dad which is more than a lot get but my grief is obviously still valid. It’s would be incredibly narcissistic to assume otherwise.

I hate the pain Olympics.
I'm so sorry. That really sucks. Hugs!

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Re: John and Joan: 11 Hours of Pushing Lies | Part 3

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131618 wrote:
sadie wrote:Can someone post the pic from her insta? She blocked me
Screenshot_20180713-224437_Instagram.jpeg
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Thanks

Jeez somethings should be kept private.
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