You are incredibly strong and I wish nothing but the best for you and your husband and your whole family. I don’t know a lot about addiction on the level you do, but I do have family that have struggled with it. Just know if you ever need a person to talk to or just vent to, I’m here.nutbagmcgee wrote: ↑Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:10 am I have always said C and K seemed like my people. People we would hang out with, be friends with. This just summed it up so much. My husband is an addict, no one would ever know or guess. We hide it very well. We look good from the outside but behind closed doors we are a mess. I cover up so much, I don't talk about it because we look so perfect from the outside. I understand Katie hiding it and keeping it under wraps. I know a lot of you don't like her (I haven't liked her much lately either) but I understand her so much more. The control, the shopping, etc. It is me. I do things to cover up, keep myself happy (shopping.) That was TMI but I get it now.
Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
- Playsinrain
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
There are some scary vids of both katie and Cullen clearly on substances. But I remember very clearly when they were a vlogger fair the summer before Gaines was born.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
I am genuinely curious how Ellie and Jared feel about Cullen coming out as an addict.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
Something about all of this is rubbing me the wrong way...like they are just trying to get attention. Or did something happen?? Like a DUI?! It seems like for Katie to leave or kick him out then something HUGE happened. Cullen has been drunk and acting like a fool for years...so what changed??! I doubt he decided to go sober so suddenly for no reason at all.
To be fair, I haven't listened to the podcast, but Brittney was in NA and AA "for years"? Really?! Damn, that girl was drinking A LOT up until she got pregnant. She only sobered up once she got knocked up!
Cullen's issues were more than obvious. FFS, he was even seen drinking and driving the golf cart on public streets. I wonder if he was hooked on Adderall and/or Xanax. I wouldn't be surprised at all. It's not hard to get prescriptions for those.
Katie's video was just weird...like she wasn't really taking it all that seriously.
A lot of people serious about recovery go to meetings daily. I got the feeling he's not that committed.
Bottom line: Something really bad happened and Cullen is pretending to get sober. Or, maybe he's really trying, but he doesn't seem at all committed.
To be fair, I haven't listened to the podcast, but Brittney was in NA and AA "for years"? Really?! Damn, that girl was drinking A LOT up until she got pregnant. She only sobered up once she got knocked up!
Cullen's issues were more than obvious. FFS, he was even seen drinking and driving the golf cart on public streets. I wonder if he was hooked on Adderall and/or Xanax. I wouldn't be surprised at all. It's not hard to get prescriptions for those.
Katie's video was just weird...like she wasn't really taking it all that seriously.
A lot of people serious about recovery go to meetings daily. I got the feeling he's not that committed.
Bottom line: Something really bad happened and Cullen is pretending to get sober. Or, maybe he's really trying, but he doesn't seem at all committed.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
My God! Katie is such a control freak. She announces she is being “transparent” but makes sure to give her instructions to the audience about how they are NOT allowed to ask for details or questions. I can’t stand her. What a bitch.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
I completely understand if she’s tried to be by his side but what about the vow Katie took when she married Cullen “in sickness and in health.” Doesn’t that mean something? She should be by his side helping him and not kicking him out of the house.
On the other hand I do understand if she doesn’t want the kids seeing this.
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On the other hand I do understand if she doesn’t want the kids seeing this.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
LOL! As if Ellie and *Jared* aren't hiding their own personal issues. Wasn't Ellie's sister hooked on pills for awhile? I'm not sure why their opinion would matter. Mormons can be addicts too—and Utah actually has a high rate of prescription addicts.
I don't think Cullen ever hid his drinking from his LDS friends. In fact, I'm sure Cullen, Bryan, Missy and Katie all drank with them around on vacations or at conventions.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
Their comment on the vlog was less than sincere as well. “We love you! Wish we could give you a hug and a squeeze on the Tooshy!” It just made me shake my head. Here is one of your so called best friends admitting he’s an addict, crying his eyes out, talking about not being able to see his family in 3 days.. and they sound like he stubbed his toe or something. But I guess that’s more that Bryan and Missy have done. I didn’t see any comment from them.ewokfan11 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:34 pmLOL! As if Ellie and *Jared* aren't hiding their own personal issues. Wasn't Ellie's sister hooked on pills for awhile? I'm not sure why their opinion would matter. Mormons can be addicts too—and Utah actually has a high rate of prescription addicts.
I don't think Cullen ever hid his drinking from his LDS friends. In fact, I'm sure Cullen, Bryan, Missy and Katie all drank with them around on vacations or at conventions.
Bryan and Ellie both hopped on that depression train when Cullen came out about his problems. Wonder if they will jump on the addiction train as well.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
I thought that was real rich too. She was quick to say this wasn’t her problem and she wasn’t the one who could fix it and that it wasn’t her story to tell (which is true...but...) but she was even quicker to spout out some “rules” for commenters to follow. If this is all Cullen’s problem and his story, how about she let him set the ground rules? It was very clear she’s unhappy he went public with this. VERY CLEAR.auntasaurus19 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 17, 2019 1:32 pm My God! Katie is such a control freak. She announces she is being “transparent” but makes sure to give her instructions to the audience about how they are NOT allowed to ask for details or questions. I can’t stand her. What a bitch.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
If Katie really believes (per her most recent video on her channel) that Cullen’s addiction has been “off and on” over the years, she is in major denial. Cullen is saying he was a functioning alcoholic for years, at least since their daughter was born, and yet Katie says that their marriage wasn’t affected until this past year? I get the impression Katie was okay with the heavy drinking (and participated in it), but drew the line at narcotics, which really is a false dichotomy when you’re talking about mental illness, addiction and drug abuse. I think they were (are?) both heavy drinkers, but that Cullen graduated to illegal substances in the past few years and tried to hide it. I noticed that she didn’t admit to anything on her end. The focus was 100% on Cullen’s problem and it “wasn’t my struggle to share.” And yet Cullen claims that both were drinking heavily every night until recently and were heavy drinkers in the past?
I think her learning how to make her own videos in September and running her own channel is a way for her to control her narrative (as well as establish her own income). They obviously have some very different perspectives on what’s really going on here, which doesn’t bode well? I also get the impression Cullen is taking responsibility for BOTH of their drinking, because Katie can do no wrong. That's certainly not healthy. Drinking and "partying" is clearly part of the foundation for their relationship and their attraction. They both embraced that well into their 30s. I think her need to hide things and protect her image coupled with his need to talk about things openly is going to be a big sticking point. Katie just wants to talk about organizing her clothes, waking up early, and oh by the way her husband came out today as an addict but don't ask what her husband is addicted to or what he's doing to get help. That would be intrusive, despite the three monetized videos they've put out about it.
I think her learning how to make her own videos in September and running her own channel is a way for her to control her narrative (as well as establish her own income). They obviously have some very different perspectives on what’s really going on here, which doesn’t bode well? I also get the impression Cullen is taking responsibility for BOTH of their drinking, because Katie can do no wrong. That's certainly not healthy. Drinking and "partying" is clearly part of the foundation for their relationship and their attraction. They both embraced that well into their 30s. I think her need to hide things and protect her image coupled with his need to talk about things openly is going to be a big sticking point. Katie just wants to talk about organizing her clothes, waking up early, and oh by the way her husband came out today as an addict but don't ask what her husband is addicted to or what he's doing to get help. That would be intrusive, despite the three monetized videos they've put out about it.
Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
All she said for 16 minutes was , "It's not my story!, so I can't get into details!" Then why put out a video but the way she said "the parties involved," makes me think Cullen stepped out of their marriage, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't also in sex therapy as well. She never answered the immortal question of whether or not she was leaving him, and the focus on cleaning out Gaines's closet. I wonder if he's staying on his sister's couch?
Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
All she said for 16 minutes was , "It's not my story!, so I can't get into details!" Then why put out a video but the way she said "the parties involved," makes me think Cullen stepped out of their marriage, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't also in sex therapy as well. She never answered the immortal question of whether or not she was leaving him, and the focus on cleaning out Gaines's closet. I wonder if he's staying on his sister's couch?
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
There are low cost detox centers. Even Eric Clapton's place in Antigua offers "scholarships" because he said he didn't cost to be something that kept people from getting help. FYI, if I ever relapse, that's where I want to go! And with Jay being a DUI attorney, as you said, he should be able to help them find someplace. If he thinks he's too good for someplace like that (and I am projecting here, I know he hasn't said that) then he needs to get some humility. He has a lot of what we call "yets". Yets are a denial tool. People will say "I never went to jail" for instance, and we'll say "Yet".Playsinrain wrote:I just worry about his health while detoxing. Especially doing it on his own, and not knowing exactly what combos of drugs he is/was taking.angelfire89 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 17, 2019 10:34 amAren’t those generally pretty expensive? We already know they’re probably struggling financially, I highly doubt they could afford to send him to rehab. As long as he sticks to meetings and truly admits to at least himself the extent of his problem, I think he’ll be okay.Playsinrain wrote: I wonder why they aren’t considering an inpatient rehab program. Especially if Katie has said he’s not coming back to the house until he’s sober.
Don’t some insurance policies help with rehab? I would think that money wouldn’t be an issue if this was something that would put his life or marriage in danger. I’m willing to bet that Katie’s parents would help them with those expenses if they asked. Jay is also a DUI lawyer so I’m assuming he would have some connections with rehab facilities and could help him find one they could afford. (I know court ordered rehab is often a condition of repeat offenders probation. It was in my nephews case. I’m sure Jay would have a great deal of knowledge in that dept..)
Personally, I think they both need a big dose of humility.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
That's a tough one. Believe it or not, I actually get it. My ex told me that if I relapsed he would kick me out, which made it harder for me to ask for help when I did relapse. People say "You wouldn't kick him out if he had cancer, how is this different?" But although cancer destroys families, families don't usually blame themselves when someone has it either. Sometimes "tough love" is the only thing that gets through to the addict. When I was complaining about my ex kicking me out, one of my friends said "Get over it. You know you wouldn't respect him if he let you walk all over him". It's a hard line to walk between being supportive and enabling. For instance, getting up and getting the kids ready for school so I could go to my favorite 7am meeting every day was supportive. Enabling would have been covering up for me, or something like that.Baconsgirl wrote:I completely understand if she’s tried to be by his side but what about the vow Katie took when she married Cullen “in sickness and in health.” Doesn’t that mean something? She should be by his side helping him and not kicking him out of the house.
On the other hand I do understand if she doesn’t want the kids seeing this.
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It's so hard to say what the right thing to do is in that situation.
Katie is right that _Cullen's_ addiction isn't her fault. She didn't cause it, she can't cure it, and she can't fix it. But she does need to be facing up to any issues she may have herself.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
Everywhere weve seen cullen in the vlog and Instagram stories hes been at home. I wonder if Katie and the kids are staying with Doc and Dolly. I get yall are saying about Katie's video but at the same time if she would have come out with her "addictions" and how she was going to fix her AND Cullen, it would be the same as the whole depression.. katie making it all about her. At the end of the day weve all seen and acknowledged Cullens addiction in the past but katie is right it is not her story to share and she cannot fix it for him. He has to want it and do it for himself.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
woahnow wrote:Everywhere weve seen cullen in the vlog and Instagram stories hes been at home. I wonder if Katie and the kids are staying with Doc and Dolly. I get yall are saying about Katie's video but at the same time if she would have come out with her "addictions" and how she was going to fix her AND Cullen, it would be the same as the whole depression.. katie making it all about her. At the end of the day weve all seen and acknowledged Cullens addiction in the past but katie is right it is not her story to share and she cannot fix it for him. He has to want it and do it for himself.
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I completely disagree that commenting would have made it about Katie. Cullen brought up her story this time by suggesting she had a problem too. She felt the need to make today’s video to comment on everything and basically throw Cullen under the bus while she sanctimoniously acted like he was the only one that had contributed to the marital issues and needed to work on things. Katie took heat for making the depression thing about herself because she completely dismissed Cullen’s CURRENT problem, and instead talked about her PRIOR issues with PPD. Basically, she saw him getting sympathy and she wanted in on that. Similarly, I think she’s ignoring that her name was brought into this one because the truth it’s something that will bring criticism, not sympathy and understanding. For me, the two situations are different except for the consistent way Katie seems to resent having had the skeletons in their closet revealed in the first place.
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
I don't think Katie has a problem with alcohol. Most of what Cullen described was in college or her having a glass or two of wine. HE said HE was the one making the massive mixed drinks every night.
Cullen is the one who always seems drunk or hungover. Cullen said Katie was never into drugs.
Cullen needs to get his shit together—this has been my opinion for several years. Katie's probably totally fed up with him, just like all the viewers who stopped watching their channel.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's been drinking/using because their channel is basically dead and the stress is getting to him. Cullen is in a bad situation. He doesn't even have a college degree and now YT/SM isn't working out for them. What the F%^K is he going to do for a job?????
Cullen is the one who always seems drunk or hungover. Cullen said Katie was never into drugs.
Cullen needs to get his shit together—this has been my opinion for several years. Katie's probably totally fed up with him, just like all the viewers who stopped watching their channel.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's been drinking/using because their channel is basically dead and the stress is getting to him. Cullen is in a bad situation. He doesn't even have a college degree and now YT/SM isn't working out for them. What the F%^K is he going to do for a job?????
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Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
Katie could return to work and Cullen could return to school to get training of some sort. They have options. Katie isn’t responsible for Cullen’s addiction, but he has expressed issues with feeling depressed and anxious due to financial/marital issues. Katie was certainly a part of those problems. There’s no reason why she couldn’t return to work. If Cullen’s addiction issues are so bad that he can’t even be alone with the kids and she needs to stay home 24/7 to supervise and can’t work, should the kids really be around him in the first place?
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Re: Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21
Haven’t commented in a loooong time. Saw the hubub and got relatively caught up.
1.) Katie looks damn good.
2.) ADHD meds, when abused, don’t take on a cocaine-like tendency, it’s more like a light dose of meth. Take it from someone who’s done their fair share of blow and is also prescribed adderall for ADHD. One’s not like the other at all. While I haven’t done meth, the “tendencies” on meth and abuse-levels of Adderall, I’ve read, are the same. Repetitive thoughts, twitchy disposition, inability to focus yet an insane ability to hyper focus. I’ve highllllly suspected for years that Cullen’s been abusing his ADHD meds and also smoking weed. Alcohol started to get more apparent as time went on. It also explains him sleeping in so late — sleeping on these meds is really hard. Even when I take my prescribed dose at 8am, some nights I can just feel it still working in my system and can’t sleep until 2 or 3. It sucks.
Just my two cents.
1.) Katie looks damn good.
2.) ADHD meds, when abused, don’t take on a cocaine-like tendency, it’s more like a light dose of meth. Take it from someone who’s done their fair share of blow and is also prescribed adderall for ADHD. One’s not like the other at all. While I haven’t done meth, the “tendencies” on meth and abuse-levels of Adderall, I’ve read, are the same. Repetitive thoughts, twitchy disposition, inability to focus yet an insane ability to hyper focus. I’ve highllllly suspected for years that Cullen’s been abusing his ADHD meds and also smoking weed. Alcohol started to get more apparent as time went on. It also explains him sleeping in so late — sleeping on these meds is really hard. Even when I take my prescribed dose at 8am, some nights I can just feel it still working in my system and can’t sleep until 2 or 3. It sucks.
Just my two cents.