Katie:Learning to Say No to Everything Except Gaines|Part 21

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

Cullen and a Katie were drinking just a few days after the addiction reveal. They both seemed drunk in the IS the other day. But sure, that has to be Cory’s beer. Why the sudden assumption that they are completely dry?

I think people are going to be very surprised when Cullen and Katie are shown drinking still. I feel like they get passes and forgiveness that other YTers wouldn’t, and I don’t get why. Just because Katie had a better upbringing? She isn’t better than anyone. She’s lazy, selfish and enabling. If they lived in a small apartment or trailer, and were less photogenic, I doubt people would be as likely to excuse their mistakes.

A lot of people on this board seem to have swept the supposed addiction and marital issues under the rug just like Katie did. You don’t heal either one as quickly as they have led you to believe.


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Hasn’t Cullen even said they’d continue drinking?

This is just like the last time they brought up the big secret of their marriage struggling, they did a few sit downs to boost views but it was soon forgotten and nothing else said.

I think Cullen would like to share, but Katie shuts it down pretty quickly. She doesn’t want people to know she isn’t perfect, and that’s fair, but she should dictate what Cullen shares about himself. And these issues are fairly obvious in their vlogs, we’ve all seen this coming for a couple of years now, so if she’d rather not have it out there then maybe it’s tome to get off YouTube?

Either way, at this point they’re doing a huge disservice to their viewers. They’re assuming the adult viewers are just plain stupid and believe this watered down version of recovery and their showing young viewers terribly wrong things about recovery.

[HelloSweetie]

Cullen and a Katie were drinking just a few days after the addiction reveal. They both seemed drunk in the IS the other day. But sure, that has to be Cory’s beer. Why the sudden assumption that they are completely dry?

I think people are going to be very surprised when Cullen and Katie are shown drinking still. I feel like they get passes and forgiveness that other YTers wouldn’t, and I don’t get why. Just because Katie had a better upbringing? She isn’t better than anyone. She’s lazy, selfish and enabling. If they lived in a small apartment or trailer, and were less photogenic, I doubt people would be as likely to excuse their mistakes.

A lot of people on this board seem to have swept the supposed addiction and marital issues under the rug just like Katie did. You don’t heal either one as quickly as they have led you to believe.


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Hasn’t Cullen even said they’d continue drinking?

.

He did. He never said they weren’t going to drink anymore, quite the opposite actually. In the first podcast he was very clear that alcohol was a problem, but by the second one (and after he and Katie were back together and vlogged drinking marguerites) he changed his story and alcohol wasn’t his issue. This is why I’m not sure why people are arguing the beer is so obviously not his? I really doubt Cory is drinking while Brittany, Katie and Cullen are all dry. He doesn’t seem insensitive like that to me.

I agree they should just get off YT if they aren’t going to be honest.


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[FakingIt_MakingIt]

Cullen and a Katie were drinking just a few days after the addiction reveal. They both seemed drunk in the IS the other day. But sure, that has to be Cory’s beer. Why the sudden assumption that they are completely dry?

I think people are going to be very surprised when Cullen and Katie are shown drinking still. I feel like they get passes and forgiveness that other YTers wouldn’t, and I don’t get why. Just because Katie had a better upbringing? She isn’t better than anyone. She’s lazy, selfish and enabling. If they lived in a small apartment or trailer, and were less photogenic, I doubt people would be as likely to excuse their mistakes.

A lot of people on this board seem to have swept the supposed addiction and marital issues under the rug just like Katie did. You don’t heal either one as quickly as they have led you to believe.


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Hasn’t Cullen even said they’d continue drinking?

.

He did. He never said they weren’t going to drink anymore, quite the opposite actually. In the first podcast he was very clear that alcohol was a problem, but by the second one (and after he and Katie were back together and vlogged drinking marguerites) he changed his story and alcohol wasn’t his issue. This is why I’m not sure why people are arguing the beer is so obviously not his? I really doubt Cory is drinking while Brittany, Katie and Cullen are all dry. He doesn’t seem insensitive like that to me.

I agree they should just get off YT if they aren’t going to be honest.


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It won’t be long before we get another talk from Katie up on her high horse about not prying and asking and blah blah blah. The vlogs will return to “normal” for a bit and then we will start picking up on tension again and be right back to where the vlogs were a week or so ago with Katie and Cullen apart, big dramatics, only for it all to be swept under the rug.
They’re disfunctional. And until they’ll deal with their issues (together and their own) it won’t change. And no, they don’t need to share all of these issues with the entire world but it seems to me Katie refuses to deal with and acknowledge a lot of things in real life too.

[lmmomSD]

Well, if Britany is Cullen's main source of recovery information, I am not surprised that he doesn't think alcohol is an issue for people taking their NA journey seriously. She was drinking like a fish until she got pregnant, and even says she "picks and chooses what works". If he's "having fun" at meetings, he's probably not really listening. Obviously, they're not totally somber affairs, and people laugh. Sometimes people laugh at things that would shock "normies". And in every NA meeting, at the beginning, they talk about alcohol. It's part of the script for the opening of the meeting. "Alcohol is a drug. Period." They recite that statement in unison at the beginning of every meeting.
So he's being pretty disingenuous if he's saying that he "didn't know" that alcohol is frowned upon in NA.

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[Playsinrain]

Well, if Britany is Cullen's main source of recovery information, I am not surprised that he doesn't think alcohol is an issue for people taking their NA journey seriously. She was drinking like a fish until she got pregnant, and even says she "picks and chooses what works". If he's "having fun" at meetings, he's probably not really listening. Obviously, they're not totally somber affairs, and people laugh. Sometimes people laugh at things that would shock "normies". And in every NA meeting, at the beginning, they talk about alcohol. It's part of the script for the opening of the meeting. "Alcohol is a drug. Period." They recite that statement in unison at the beginning of every meeting.
So he's being pretty disingenuous if he's saying that he "didn't know" that alcohol is frowned upon in NA.

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I know we have discussed this before, but i do think in come cases it's ok for former addicts to drink, IF that wasn't their addiction to begin with and they aren't using as a substitute for whatever their vice was. If Britney can drink and control it (not while she's pregnant of course) then i think that's fine, booze was never her issue. She has been off her "drug of choice" for some time now and seems to be doing great with her recovery. Cullen on the other hand is a different story. If he really is wanting to bring up NA/AA and talk about meetings then he needs to walk the walk, so to speak. Britney was QUICK to let him know that's not how it works and that he can't expect people to be ok with him drinking while talking about being at AA meetings. This is at least twice that she has shut him down when he talks about being sober when he's really not. I guess what i'm trying to say is that i think Britney knows the program and stuck with it for sometime, at least enough to know when to call out Cullen for things he should know and be sensitive of. While her recovery has been (seemingly) successful and she is ok enough in her process to have a few drinks, Cullen cannot assume his journey will be the same. I don't understand why he called himself an alcoholic but then gets defensive when people calling him out for drinking, or for talking about NA/AA. Now suddenly when he is expected not to drink, bc he said he's an alcoholic and was going to meetings, the booze really isnt the issue, just the weed. I just don't understand... is it problem or not Cullen? Or is it only not a problem bc he called katie out on her drinking (again in the last podcast as well) and she doesn't want her name involved so Cullen is continuing to drink to down play Katie's issues? She's been outted more than once in this situation with her drinking but has YET to speak up about it. Sure, that's her prerogative, but she doesn't exactly get a free pass to talk about how great she is while they both continue to place blame on cullen if she has her own problems she wont fess up too.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

Cullen has made it pretty clear that Katie’s drinking is a problem. I wonder if he feels like he can’t give up drinking because it’s one of the few things they do together?
I don’t think the blame should be only on Katie, Cullen’s a big boy and needs to make some changes for himself but I wonder if he feels a bit of pressure to drink along side Katie? If she gave up drinking would he be ok giving it up too?
I wonder if Katie is telling him the drinking is fine (because she doesn’t think she has a problem) but he needs to give up the drugs?

[HelloSweetie]

Cullen has made it pretty clear that Katie’s drinking is a problem. I wonder if he feels like he can’t give up drinking because it’s one of the few things they do together?
I don’t think the blame should be only on Katie, Cullen’s a big boy and needs to make some changes for himself but I wonder if he feels a bit of pressure to drink along side Katie? If she gave up drinking would he be ok giving it up too?
I wonder if Katie is telling him the drinking is fine (because she doesn’t think she has a problem) but he needs to give up the drugs?

This is what I wonder as well. I also don’t really care if Brittany picked and chose what worked because I never saw a vlog where I was concerned about her behaviour, and she never indicated she had a problem with alcohol. I can’t speculate on that. She seems to have quit alcohol no problem during her pregnancy, so maybe it isn’t an issue for her? Cullen didn’t go a week before he and Katie were drinking again. That is shocking to me!

The issue I have with Cullen is that his story changed. He said he would use ANYTHING to feel high. Said he would eat a dirty mushroom off the ground if he thought it would do something. That does not translate to a little issue with weed. He said he had a problem with alcohol, so I’m going to focus on that just as I would if someone who admitted to food issues started showing signs of binge eating or restricting again.


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[Playsinrain]

Cullen has made it pretty clear that Katie’s drinking is a problem. I wonder if he feels like he can’t give up drinking because it’s one of the few things they do together?
I don’t think the blame should be only on Katie, Cullen’s a big boy and needs to make some changes for himself but I wonder if he feels a bit of pressure to drink along side Katie? If she gave up drinking would he be ok giving it up too?
I wonder if Katie is telling him the drinking is fine (because she doesn’t think she has a problem) but he needs to give up the drugs?

This is 100% what i think the issue is.

[Playsinrain]

Cullen has made it pretty clear that Katie’s drinking is a problem. I wonder if he feels like he can’t give up drinking because it’s one of the few things they do together?
I don’t think the blame should be only on Katie, Cullen’s a big boy and needs to make some changes for himself but I wonder if he feels a bit of pressure to drink along side Katie? If she gave up drinking would he be ok giving it up too?
I wonder if Katie is telling him the drinking is fine (because she doesn’t think she has a problem) but he needs to give up the drugs?

This is what I wonder as well. I also don’t really care if Brittany picked and chose what worked because I never saw a vlog where I was concerned about her behaviour, and she never indicated she had a problem with alcohol. I can’t speculate on that. She seems to have quit alcohol no problem during her pregnancy, so maybe it isn’t an issue for her? Cullen didn’t go a week before he and Katie were drinking again. That is shocking to me!

The issue I have with Cullen is that his story changed. He said he would use ANYTHING to feel high. Said he would eat a dirty mushroom off the ground if he thought it would do something. That does not translate to a little issue with weed. He said he had a problem with alcohol, so I’m going to focus on that just as I would if someone who admitted to food issues started showing signs of binge eating or restricting again.


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and got hella defensive about it to the point of telling someone "screw you" bc they said something along the likes of "i hope this was filmed before you started AA, bc you shouldnt be drinking while on the program".....

[lmmomSD]

Oh, I know we've been back and forth on the Britany drinking thing. I guess I didn't express myself very clearly. You're absolutely right that Cullen can't assume that his recovery is going to be the same as hers. I meant that too. I don't follow Britany on SM since she got pregnant, and I barely watched her vlogs, so except for seeing her wasted in the background of C&K's vlogs before she stopped drinking for her pregnancy, I honestly don't know how she's handled it. Some people can. She did seem to be drinking a concerning amount before she got pregnant. You have said she didn't seem to have a problem stopping drinking when she got pregnant. But putting up a good front on social media doesn't really mean crap. But I do sincerely hope that she is really doing well. I don't wish relapses on anyone.

I'm rambling. What I meant to say and botched it, is that Britany needs to stop being Cullen's "expert". She has her experience, which except for the period of her pregnancy hasn't been one of abstinence, so he seems to be getting the idea that he can pick and choose what he wants too, and that may not be the case. She may be too close to the problem to really be of any help to him. And like I said, if he doesn't realize that abstinence from alcohol is _generally_ part of NA, he definitely isn't listening.

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[HelloSweetie]

Britany may absolutely still be drinking while pregnant, but I see no reason to speculate. Her eyes always seem bright and clear from what I’ve seen. I rarely speculate that Cullen was drinking/using before, because like people always said, we really don’t know.

But once you come out with the details Cullen and Katie have, I feel it’s fair to speculate. We thought there was an issue, and it was confirmed. I still see the signs I saw before, and therefore still think the issues are there.

This is also Cullen and Katie’s board, and not Brittany’s so why would I speculate here? If Katie isn’t responsible for Cullen’s issues (and her own) then B certainly isn’t! But just as people used to defend Cullen by saying that you can’t assume he’s using drugs just because his sister has, I think we can’t assume Brittany is still drinking/using just because her brother is.


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[Playsinrain]

Oh, I know we've been back and forth on the Britany drinking thing. I guess I didn't express myself very clearly. You're absolutely right that Cullen can't assume that his recovery is going to be the same as hers. I meant that too. I don't follow Britany on SM since she got pregnant, and I barely watched her vlogs, so except for seeing her wasted in the background of C&K's vlogs before she stopped drinking for her pregnancy, I honestly don't know how she's handled it. Some people can. She did seem to be drinking a concerning amount before she got pregnant. You have said she didn't seem to have a problem stopping drinking when she got pregnant. But putting up a good front on social media doesn't really mean crap. But I do sincerely hope that she is really doing well. I don't wish relapses on anyone.

I'm rambling. What I meant to say and botched it, is that Britany needs to stop being Cullen's "expert". She has her experience, which except for the period of her pregnancy hasn't been one of abstinence, so he seems to be getting the idea that he can pick and choose what he wants too, and that may not be the case. She may be too close to the problem to really be of any help to him. And like I said, if he doesn't realize that abstinence from alcohol is _generally_ part of NA, he definitely isn't listening.

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I agree with this but i also think that Cullen is trying to make Britney the expert, not that Britney is trying to be one. Britney has point blank told him he needs to watch what he says and that he can't be acting like he's fine and sober and "healed" after 2 weeks. She also called him out on his getting defensive about people talking about his drinking after saying he's attended meetings. I think, from what i have heard, that Cullen 100% needs to stop thinking Britney knows best, bc she only knows whats best for her. I don't think it's britney telling him, oh i can still drink and be fine, and picking and choosing was enough for me to kick my habit, so you should do the same. I think it's Cullen looking at Brit and thinking these same thing will apply to him, even when he has no idea if they will or not bc he's YET to be completely sober for longer than a few days at a time. He needs to listen more to the things his sister is telling him he is doing wrong and listen less to the things that worked for her... if that makes sense.

[lmmomSD]

I didn't mean that she was still using or drinking. I'll clarify and then let it drop because like you said, it's not even her forum, although other families cross post all the time.
I definitely didn't mean to imply that she is continuing to drink during the pregnancy. But coming from AA/NA, when people say "doing fine", that means something different. You can be abstinent and be FAR from fine. It's why people relapse. That's all I meant when I saw that I had no idea if she was really doing fine or not.
Done.

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[madi_b_123]

My dad is an addict/alcoholic and I’ve been to plenty of rehab family therapy sessions, I’ve been to Al-Anon meetings and I’ve read tons of books/done tons of research. From everything I’ve heard and seen, if you are truly an addict of any type, it’s not a good idea to drink alcohol. Alcohol is a mind altering substance and affects your ability to make choices. Because he is an addict, he doesn’t know how to use substances in moderation. Drinking alcohol very likely could lead to Cullen thinking that he can handle using other drugs in moderation.


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[HelloSweetie]

Plus if we believe what they want us to, and that it’s just a weed issue and assume that Katie overreacted and made him quit, then why isn’t she more concerned about the drinking? Wouldn’t most wives worry their spouse is just going to trade one addiction for another? His dad had an issue with alcohol, but she’s not concerned he’s going to stop smoking weed and just start drinking alcohol more? This makes no sense. If she could make him quit one, she could make him quit the other. Unless he (or she!) can’t?....


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[FakingIt_MakingIt]

My dad is an addict/alcoholic and I’ve been to plenty of rehab family therapy sessions, I’ve been to Al-Anon meetings and I’ve read tons of books/done tons of research. From everything I’ve heard and seen, if you are truly an addict of any type, it’s not a good idea to drink alcohol. Alcohol is a mind altering substance and affects your ability to make choices. Because he is an addict, he doesn’t know how to use substances in moderation. Drinking alcohol very likely could lead to Cullen thinking that he can handle using other drugs in moderation.


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I said that earlier too, that he might thinking drinking occasionally is fine but soon enough he will think using pot on occasion is fine, and then coke and whatever else he comes across.

Cullen (or anyone else who has an addiction problem) can’t expect to have enough self control to limit alcohol this soon after admitting a problem.

[lmmomSD]

And HS, you definitely said it when you said that they either need to be honest or shut up.
This whole bit is too much.
C: "I'm an alcoholic. Katie drinks too much too"
C: "No, wait. It's only weed. I can drink"
K: "I don't have a drinking problem! Cullen is the one with the problem! I am just fine!" (BTW-- FINE stands for f*cked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional, which seems to fit both of them well)
Two weeks go by...
Both: "Now everything is great. Look at Cullen wearing a breast pump! Hahaha!"

I am getting whiplash.

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[lmmomSD]

My dad is an addict/alcoholic and I’ve been to plenty of rehab family therapy sessions, I’ve been to Al-Anon meetings and I’ve read tons of books/done tons of research. From everything I’ve heard and seen, if you are truly an addict of any type, it’s not a good idea to drink alcohol. Alcohol is a mind altering substance and affects your ability to make choices. Because he is an addict, he doesn’t know how to use substances in moderation. Drinking alcohol very likely could lead to Cullen thinking that he can handle using other drugs in moderation.


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I said that earlier too, that he might thinking drinking occasionally is fine but soon enough he will think using pot on occasion is fine, and then coke and whatever else he comes across.

Cullen (or anyone else who has an addiction problem) can’t expect to have enough self control to limit alcohol this soon after admitting a problem.

And even if he's looking at his sister thinking she did it and was able to make it work, she at least had _some_ abstinence under her belt before she was drinking. She wasn't using meth and pot right up to her release.

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[FakingIt_MakingIt]

And HS, you definitely said it when you said that they either need to be honest or shut up.
This whole bit is too much.
C: "I'm an alcoholic. Katie drinks too much too"
C: "No, wait. It's only weed. I can drink"
K: "I don't have a drinking problem! Cullen is the one with the problem! I am just fine!" (BTW-- FINE stands for f*cked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional, which seems to fit both of them well)
Two weeks go by...
Both: "Now everything is great. Look at Cullen wearing a breast pump! Hahaha!"


I am getting whiplash.

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It’s the same thing they did before. Sit down video crying about the state of their marriage, how Cullen isn’t affectionate (many of us suspected addiction issues) to no, we are totally great and I’m love and don’t question or remind us what we said a few videos ago, to we are buying our dream home that we can’t afford!!


Edited to fix quoting errors.

[FakingIt_MakingIt]

My dad is an addict/alcoholic and I’ve been to plenty of rehab family therapy sessions, I’ve been to Al-Anon meetings and I’ve read tons of books/done tons of research. From everything I’ve heard and seen, if you are truly an addict of any type, it’s not a good idea to drink alcohol. Alcohol is a mind altering substance and affects your ability to make choices. Because he is an addict, he doesn’t know how to use substances in moderation. Drinking alcohol very likely could lead to Cullen thinking that he can handle using other drugs in moderation.


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I said that earlier too, that he might thinking drinking occasionally is fine but soon enough he will think using pot on occasion is fine, and then coke and whatever else he comes across.

Cullen (or anyone else who has an addiction problem) can’t expect to have enough self control to limit alcohol this soon after admitting a problem.

And even if he's looking at his sister thinking she did it and was able to make it work, she at least had _some_ abstinence under her belt before she was drinking. She wasn't using meth and pot right up to her release.

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Exactly. I absolutely think after some time that a person addicted to pot (and or other drugs) could at some point be able to drink occasionally. However, I don’t think just days after admitting a problem and trying to stop drug use that anyone would have the self control needed to stop after a few drinks.
Plus, Cullen at first claimed he was an alcoholic sooooo yeah, he has no place to be drinking and definitely no place to be such an ass to people concerned for him.