snagglesnoogle wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:14 am Aaryn is a Baby Mama
Aaryn enters in a tiny little sports bra, that is being absorbed into her stomach and skintight leggings that are akin to a second layer of skin … Baby Mama wants to make an impression. She is rocking a high ponytail and sneakers; girlfriend is feeling herself. Meanwhile, Nick has on a porn-stache (mustache), Old-Navy flag t-shirt, and has it tucked into khaki shorts, fanny pack, and a phone holster, rocking total dad vibes. Aaryn gets started shaking her booty (kind of), and grinding, while Nicky Boy circles around her with his hands out framing her tummy.
Aaryn then transitions to a scene with her using her favorite lazy tool, the grab stick, and when she drops it “down, real low” girlfriend almost looses her balance and falls over. She also caresses her grab-stick like it’s a shaft, kay, we get it, you’re knocked up and sexual Aaryn (3 times a week, am I right?) Her facial expressions throughout this entire “dance” are priceless.
Next, we are treated to a montage of her stomach at 1 month, 2 month, 3 month, 4 … and again, are reminded of how surprisingly small her stomach was during her 4 month pregnancy update, even though her insta-stories and photos showed otherwise, but whatever Airhead, fake photos, fake ego. She then shows herself walking oh, so, “cool” into the front door with Nordstrom Bags, throwing diapers on herself, Nick awkwardly shuffling err dancing? kids running around, and overall chaos. Nicky boy then writes Airhead a check for $5 to which she shows exasperation, reflective of how life would really be if the two separated … Nothing would ever be good enough for our princess, and lord knows she isn’t about to get a job anytime soon.
Flash forward to the “club scene,” AKA disco lights, rave style, in the playroom … Aaryn is framing her body with light sabers … and then comes my favorite scene, a slow motion clip of Aaryn chopping off the top of a pineapple, creepily smelling while caressing a knife, and then making “seductive” faces while she caresses, and chomps into her pineapple, and with that there back at the “club.” Aaryn using disco-balls on her boobs is everything, and then some. The secondhand cringe is real.
We are then treated to several moments of Nick attempting to twerk and drop it down real low. Aaryn finishes with a few aerobic-esque dance moves, and Nick backing it up onto Aaryn and then a finale finish with her Beyoncé icon pregnant pose.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This is amazing!!
I couldn't spare the two minutes of my time to watch the wreck on YT, but caught a glimpse on IG.
I WAS MORTIFIED.
Your narration is hilarious!!
