Andrea Mills

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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by cjl123 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:31 pm

Scarlett Kami wrote:I'm not sure what good speculating on her death is doing. She passed, the doctors have had their say and she is in the ground. Even Tom has said the family will be turning more toward Western medicine now.
I’m pretty sure this is a normal part of the grieving process. We may not have met Andrea but a lot of us liked her and listening to her and were fascinated by her family, we feel like we know her. Her death was so sudden, it’s hard to not try to “figure it out”, or try to find were it could have been prevented. Its the bargaining stage of grief and personally I think it’s okay as long as everyone keeps it respectful, but I’m not an admin.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by bbbella » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:46 pm

It's true - you can't turn back time and change things. You can change things in the present and that is what he is trying to do.

It doesn't make things easier to deal with but I think dwelling on her death could be worse.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by FakingIt_MakingIt » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:04 pm

Scarlett Kami wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:21 pm
I'm not sure what good speculating on her death is doing. She passed, the doctors have had their say and she is in the ground. Even Tom has said the family will be turning more toward Western medicine now.
Well, for starters it is a gossip thread. Speculating is par for the course. And when you consider some of the things said on this website as a whole the things speculated here are VERY tame and respectful.
Tom has also said that they don't really trust western medicine. He has downplayed therapy as well. While he has said they would be less into herbs as Andrea was he has never outright said the children and himself would be seeing a Dr. regularly for check ups or anything of the like.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by chs6213 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:25 pm

So Tom definitely doesn’t believe in western medicine as well? It’s a shame. I think his parents do/did. Andrea’s as well.

I wonder if she had a sense her time was coming to an end as well. People often do. She wouldn’t have gone through chemo. I know I’ve often talked about my mom before and I’m sorry. I know it’s annoying. A few weeks or months before she died, she told my disabled dad that she would die before him and it would be soon and sudden. She was supposed to have a non stress test that day. Cancelled it and died of a major heart attack in front of me at 14. And I have guilt, I have anger and every emotion in the book. Why didn’t she go, why didn’t she just freaking GO.

I fear the children will have these thoughts. No matter how they been brought up. Resentment and questioning is natural. They have the internet and not restricted access. I questioned God even though I was raised Southern Baptist. Because I NEEDED her and why was she GONE. I still have days I wonder. I worry about the kids so much. More than I should. They’ll miss out on so much not having their mom. Eden looks so sad.

And I don’t think or know Andrea could’ve done much differently. I know my mom could have. I honestly think even if they’d caught it, she would have chosen to just let herself pass away.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by FakingIt_MakingIt » Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:45 pm

chs6213 wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 3:25 pm
So Tom definitely doesn’t believe in western medicine as well? It’s a shame. I think his parents do/did. Andrea’s as well.

I wonder if she had a sense her time was coming to an end as well. People often do. She wouldn’t have gone through chemo. I know I’ve often talked about my mom before and I’m sorry. I know it’s annoying. A few weeks or months before she died, she told my disabled dad that she would die before him and it would be soon and sudden. She was supposed to have a non stress test that day. Cancelled it and died of a major heart attack in front of me at 14. And I have guilt, I have anger and every emotion in the book. Why didn’t she go, why didn’t she just freaking GO.

I fear the children will have these thoughts. No matter how they been brought up. Resentment and questioning is natural. They have the internet and not restricted access. I questioned God even though I was raised Southern Baptist. Because I NEEDED her and why was she GONE. I still have days I wonder. I worry about the kids so much. More than I should. They’ll miss out on so much not having their mom. Eden looks so sad.

And I don’t think or know Andrea could’ve done much differently. I know my mom could have. I honestly think even if they’d caught it, she would have chosen to just let herself pass away.


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I don’t think she would have chosen to do anything either. But if she had known she could have, and would have IMO, said a proper goodbye to her children and prepared them (as much as one can prepare to lose their mother obviously).
Tom was as much into the herbs and such as Andrea. He just doesn’t have the knowledge to continue on with them. When he says they won’t be as “herby” as Andrea he says it much the same as they won’t be as crafty.
That being said, I do think tom is doing a good job at this point. I just hope as things settle his opinions change. I also hope he stops with the 24/7 bible broadcasting, but that’s not likely to happen haha.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by MervelllaB » Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:08 pm

I honestly don’t believe that there was a lot Andrea could have done about this particular type of cancer - apart from maybe prepared the children better.
There is no perfect way to die, though.
I’m so dreadfully sorry for the posters here who have lost loved ones in such tragic circumstances. Life can change in an instant, leaving us with so many questions, which sometimes there just aren’t any answers for


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by onbreak » Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:17 pm

If she was in bed and in pain, the kids might have been more aware than we realize.
I agree, never the right time for a mother to die.

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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by dramalurker2019 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:10 pm

Tom gave an update on GoFundMe.
Thanks so much, I thought it was slowing down but apparently it is picking back up again! It has been immensely helpful in paying medical bills. Again we should be reimbursed for all of those eventually if all goes right, but being able to pay now helps us to get discounted rates for the bills for quick pay, which helps keep the total hopefully well below the limit that our Samaritan Ministries plan covers.

The kids are seemingly doing fine, Thomas is a rock, hasn't really been sad much -at least in front of me, but we have talked a lot about it. His faith is very strong and he knows he will see her again. Asher is sad sometimes, but mostly fine. Every now and then he needs to be alone which is good. Me and him have been playing video games in the evenings which helps us both forget the whole world for a very short time, which helps a lot. Asher is still pulling the most weight among the kids on how much he has helps me fill the gaps. Judah grieves alone in his bed when he is sad, but is doing very well most of the time. We have some very good one on one talks. Justus is still his mischievous silly self, I was worried about him initially but seems to be doing fine. Eden is the one who seems to be the saddest, but her sadness times seem to be getting more sparse. Solomon seems totally fine, hes a "tough boy" so he tries to never cry, which would be concerning to me, but he really doesn't seem to be too bad off. Sophia and Claudia both are questioning of the whole thing with Sophia showing more emotion than Claudia, who is still confused on if Andrea "is a zombie." But she has said things several times that shows she remembers the way mommy did things. Hannah is literally the same, She smiles at Andrea's picture, but she doesn't know anything going on and is still her happy self.
I guess I am still a mess. The loneliness is a poison I can't escape, but I am totally fine part of the time. I am anxious to see what the future brings and how we will figure all these things out.
Thank you all for the continued prayers and for all these donations. It is a great burden lifted that I don't have to worry much about money. We love all of you.
I put it in spoiler so whoever wants read it. I feel so bad for the kids especially Asher. Why is a fifteen years old teenager boy doing so much?!! He should be allowed to be a teenager not be a defacto parent substitute for their mom.

sorry for my short rant- I just don't like seeing kids to take bigger roles than they should do.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by onbreak » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:07 pm

A zombie. Kids and their imaginations. I guess they aren't as sheltered as I thought either.
It's almost been a month. You're not out of the woods by a long shot, Tom.

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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by summerinohio » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:38 pm

dramalurker2019 wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:10 pm
I put it in spoiler so whoever wants read it. I feel so bad for the kids especially Asher. Why is a fifteen years old teenager boy doing so much?!! He should be allowed to be a teenager not be a defacto parent substitute for their mom.

sorry for my short rant- I just don't like seeing kids to take bigger roles than they should do.
Asher has always played that role though. He's always been the one to gravitate to helping with the younger kids. Tom even said Asher wouldn't go to the store without Hannah. I think caring for her is a comfort to him right now. I don't at all seem this being forced on him.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by bbbella » Tue Sep 10, 2019 6:41 am

I just watched a video and they asked Asher when he was younger what he wanted to me when he grew up and he said "a daddy". I think he likes taking care of the kids. He seems to be the most "motherly" child.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by chs6213 » Tue Sep 10, 2019 11:29 am

Tom wasn’t into the herbal stuff as much as Andrea, though. There was a shop with me video where he was buying Lotrimin. Andrea said something about people asking why she doesn’t make Tom stuff or that she always offers and he says no, he wants the medicated stuff. He doesn’t like the herb-y stuff. He also is seen buying Excedrin in the videos. I realize this doesn’t mean he actually visits the doctor but I do think he believes in Western medicine to an extent.

The children also were given Tylenol when needed. In another shop with me, Andrea was purchasing it and joking that one of the children had asked for it and it was so expired because they hardly ever used it so they needed to replenish it.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by Missy1393 » Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:16 pm

dramalurker2019 wrote:Tom gave an update on GoFundMe.
Thanks so much, I thought it was slowing down but apparently it is picking back up again! It has been immensely helpful in paying medical bills. Again we should be reimbursed for all of those eventually if all goes right, but being able to pay now helps us to get discounted rates for the bills for quick pay, which helps keep the total hopefully well below the limit that our Samaritan Ministries plan covers.

The kids are seemingly doing fine, Thomas is a rock, hasn't really been sad much -at least in front of me, but we have talked a lot about it. His faith is very strong and he knows he will see her again. Asher is sad sometimes, but mostly fine. Every now and then he needs to be alone which is good. Me and him have been playing video games in the evenings which helps us both forget the whole world for a very short time, which helps a lot. Asher is still pulling the most weight among the kids on how much he has helps me fill the gaps. Judah grieves alone in his bed when he is sad, but is doing very well most of the time. We have some very good one on one talks. Justus is still his mischievous silly self, I was worried about him initially but seems to be doing fine. Eden is the one who seems to be the saddest, but her sadness times seem to be getting more sparse. Solomon seems totally fine, hes a "tough boy" so he tries to never cry, which would be concerning to me, but he really doesn't seem to be too bad off. Sophia and Claudia both are questioning of the whole thing with Sophia showing more emotion than Claudia, who is still confused on if Andrea "is a zombie." But she has said things several times that shows she remembers the way mommy did things. Hannah is literally the same, She smiles at Andrea's picture, but she doesn't know anything going on and is still her happy self.
I guess I am still a mess. The loneliness is a poison I can't escape, but I am totally fine part of the time. I am anxious to see what the future brings and how we will figure all these things out.
Thank you all for the continued prayers and for all these donations. It is a great burden lifted that I don't have to worry much about money. We love all of you.
I put it in spoiler so whoever wants read it. I feel so bad for the kids especially Asher. Why is a fifteen years old teenager boy doing so much?!! He should be allowed to be a teenager not be a defacto parent substitute for their mom.

sorry for my short rant- I just don't like seeing kids to take bigger roles than they should do.
I could definitely see myself doing the same thing as Asher in this situation. It's easier to focus on others and stay busy then it is to wallow in sadness and grief. As this post illustrates no person grieves the same as the next. There are plenty of siblings and extended family members around that I don't think Asher is doing anything he doesn't want to do.

Their children arent 'normal' children by society's standards, I don't see that at a bad thing in any way shape or form. Especially when I think of what I was up to at 15/16/17. Image

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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by Lucky-one » Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:23 pm

Claudia is so adorable and funny . The mills children are sweet, that’s for sure.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by IHateCilantro » Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:27 pm

Oh wow. So sad.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by geewhiz » Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:30 pm

Did anybody see the live stream tonight? At the very beginning of the stream Claudia says, “can we say hi to Mom?” Tom had to explain that Andrea’s in heaven and Claudia kept insisting that she’s not dead or that she’s some kind of zombie. Ugh, it totally gutted me.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by Tiger27 » Sat Sep 14, 2019 4:46 am

geewhiz wrote:Did anybody see the live stream tonight? At the very beginning of the stream Claudia says, “can we say hi to Mom?” Image Tom had to explain that Andrea’s in heaven and Claudia kept insisting that she’s not dead or that she’s some kind of zombie. Ugh, it totally gutted me. Image


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Oh so heartbreaking. I hope they get her therapy to help her understand and cope with this in age-appropriate ways. This could mess her (or any of them) up long term in so many ways.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by MervelllaB » Sat Sep 14, 2019 5:04 am

Tiger27 wrote:
geewhiz wrote:Did anybody see the live stream tonight? At the very beginning of the stream Claudia says, “can we say hi to Mom?” Image Tom had to explain that Andrea’s in heaven and Claudia kept insisting that she’s not dead or that she’s some kind of zombie. Ugh, it totally gutted me. Image


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Oh so heartbreaking. I hope they get her therapy to help her understand and cope with this in age-appropriate ways. This could mess her (or any of them) up long term in so many ways.


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Bless her. I think it’s maybe understandable at this age for her not to understand those things. Solomon said that sometimes he forgets his mum is dead and then remembers.
It’s good to see them talking about how they feel and asking questions. They have a tremendous network of support around them. Sometimes I wonder if their approach of making Andrea’s death part of life, isn’t a healthy approach to take?
I also think it’s very healthy that Tom isn’t afraid to show his grief in front of the kids. He’s very clearly heartbroken.
I think they’re all doing as well as can be expected, for now.


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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by IHateCilantro » Sat Sep 14, 2019 5:16 am

geewhiz wrote:
Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:30 pm
Did anybody see the live stream tonight? At the very beginning of the stream Claudia says, “can we say hi to Mom?” Image Tom had to explain that Andrea’s in heaven and Claudia kept insisting that she’s not dead or that she’s some kind of zombie. Ugh, it totally gutted me. Image


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This is why they need to not do YouTube.
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by onbreak » Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:23 pm

She said one of the boys told her her mom was a zombie. Then they started talking about magic cards. I don't know anything about those cards. Maybe there's a zombie
I tell my kids, I'll be coming back as a zombie for one last hurrah, so they better not cremate me.
I think he has great intentions with the channel. But the live comments popping up were depressingly aggravating.

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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by rachel337 » Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:24 pm

Tom posted Claudia's birthday video from early August. Andrea sounds so tired and sick. So sad, it must have been so hard to post this video
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by HappyPotatoes » Sun Sep 15, 2019 1:00 am

After watching Claudia's birthday vlog I looked at the other kids birthdays - I feel so bad for Justus - his birthday is on the 21st of September (so in sixish days) - that is going to be so rough to get through without his mum
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by dramalurker2019 » Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:33 pm

mills went live today
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by FakingIt_MakingIt » Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:29 am

Im continually surprised at how well Tom is doing.
He talked a bit about what they might do with the money and mentioned again adding onto their house. I actually think that would be a great idea and would watch those vlogs for sure! (Renovations are my jam haha).
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Re: Andrea Mills

Post by IHateCilantro » Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:38 pm

FakingIt_MakingIt wrote:
Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:29 am
Im continually surprised at how well Tom is doing.
He talked a bit about what they might do with the money and mentioned again adding onto their house. I actually think that would be a great idea and would watch those vlogs for sure! (Renovations are my jam haha).
Are you watching that Brady Bunch HGTV show?
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