8 Passengers: Feeding Your Kids Leftovers and Emotions | Part 15

[imoverit]

The boys are downstairs not because of gender but that is where Ruby tucks away anything nuisance to her and since Russell will have the dog andChad annoys her to no end tuck them away! I was so sad to hear Chad say ‘I was bad!’ G knows what she did to him since birth trying to get over the golden child she lost, that has made Chad value himself so little! I wish there was a higher power to clearly show her what an absolute horrendous parent she really is!
She was unlucky to miscarry that child and it is of course the worst experience for any woman but resented all the ones she did have, glorifying that one child! It is like if that one could not have her none of them would!
Julie probably got her own room because she reads here how people continuously call her out on how she treats Julie ,she has been pretending a lot when it comes to interacting with Julie lately!

She had more than one miscarriage, though. So it doesn't make sense that she "glorifies" the one when she had several. I don't necessarily believe that it was God's way of telling her she's a lousy parent, although she is a lousy parent. I do think that the sheer number of miscarriages was her body telling her to slow down (disclaimer: I mean Ruby specifically-- not aimed at anyone here who may have experienced losses). Having all those miscarriages had to have been hard on her body and her psyche. Add in the poor nutrition and taking care of small children, and she had to have been exhausted all the time.

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She has talked before about how one of her miscarriages hit her way harder than the others, and how she named that baby (I think she guessed it was a boy but didn’t know?) and thinks about him all the time, and all this. I always found it odd that she only chose one of her lost pregnancies to do this with, and why that didn’t happen with the others? But I guess I have no way of even understanding that kinda thing. She should honor those lost children by being the best mom to the ones she has with her, but she doesn’t.

[Boymomma123]

I had thought that one of her losses was a later term missed miscarriage and she had to have a procedure. I think she was 16-20 weeks so they would have known the gender. I understand being more attached in that circumstance. However, she needs to work through any grief she has and focus on her living children and give them all the attention and love they need.

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[Jamie Love]

I’m confused. Didn’t Shari say she was getting her very own bathroom in the new house? Looks like the bathroom is in the hallway..won’t the other girls be using that one too?

Well from what I got out of the video, Julie and Eve are sharing a bathroom and honestly, idk about Abby, but Shari's bathroom is (from what I gather) actually IN her room instead of a conjoining bathroom. However, back to abby, even if abby and Shari are sharing a bathroom, in the old house they were referring to abby and shari's room as "shari's room" (as if abby didn't exist, or just slept there ). So it wouldn't surprise me if they were sharing but shari just took over the bathroom as usual.

[ThisIsMeCeej]

I was so excited when Ruby said everyone was getting their own room, and Julie was got excited! You rarely see her show that much emotion, and she was so happy! She's going to be a teenager in no time, what teenager wants to share a room with their little sister? Poor Chad had to share with Russell for far too long.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

I thought I would do a Shari vlog summary since many of you avoid watching them. It is a "drive with me", where she talks to us about life for 15 min while she runs crucial errands.
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1. Shari constantly looks into the camera despite "trying not to die" from distracted driving. At her first stop she says an old lady "totally whacked her car" with her door and then walked away, but then confirms that she didn't actually hit her car!?!? Maybe Shari felt "emotionally whacked"...

2. Besides her normal tall tales of driving, I am kind of surprised how normal and relatively likable Shari came off in this. I wonder if the distraction got her out of her own head and we finally saw her true personality on camera. Maybe there is still hope for her once she is free of her mother's narcissistic web of manipulation and neglect.

3. She goes to pick up the PO Box contents for the first time in months, but it is filled with bills and legal notices. No fan mail? Maybe the kids stopped sending it after Ruby made fun of their little paper creations and said that they "never fail to disappoint".

4. Shari's big errand was going out of town to get her body fat scanned. She is trying to maintain 15% body fat and was thrilled she was down to 19% from 24% already. It sounds like she wanted to get under 15%, but was told it is only for "bikini models" and "not sustainable". I wonder if her "professional bikini athlete trainer" mentioned that studies show 15% body fat is well under the limit for maintaining fertility. I'm sure Ruby would be horrified, if she wasn't so stupid & neglectful. I doubt she understands Shari maintaining this lifestyle means she'll have to wait for Chad to settle down before she gets her coveted grandkids. And if the body is too deprived to support reproduction, what do you think it does to the developing body and mind of a child?

Shari is the first teen girl I have ever seen to have defined pectoral muscles up to her neck; scary that she will drop another 4% minimum. I wouldn't be surprised if this takes a dangerous turn. Saved the vlog link at the clip where she shows off her muscle definition at 19.1 % body fat...the HALFWAY mark in her "fat loss" journey:


5. Shari also shares how terrible it was having to sit for a 30 min MRI of each of her legs. They didn't give her any music or a movie or anything! She is rightfully not looking forward to her "surgery", but I was relieved to hear it only sounds like an angiogram and general anesthesia isn't even required. Is this just another diagnostic procedure or also the "cure"? If she thought sitting quietly snuggled in a heated blanket for an hour was torture, she's going to be super disappointed at the angiogram.

6. Shari picked up a white shower curtain for "a nice pop of color", but didn't show us because she didn't want to ruin her big bathroom reveal later on. It certainly looks like her bathroom isn't attached to her bedroom. Does she still get it all to herself while the other girls share? Or is it just more standard narcissistic Griffiths language, always taking possession/control of everything? "This is my Mom's room, she is just letting me sleep in it for 2 years", etc.

(Did anyone else notice that not only did Ruby plan to swipe a bedroom from Julie, but she took the biggest bedroom/closet in the house just to store her crap? Was it to fit her vlog camera or her ego? She already claimed the enormous furnished attic space for her "project tub"....looks like about 600-900 sqft alone)

7. Shari goes through her academics and notes how she is now comfortable not being an A student anymore. Math is a challenge and she is taking the easiest course available to help keep her grade at a B. It sounds like she is doing better in Chemistry, thanks to her low grades being bumped up to a B on a curve. It has been a while, but doesn't the highest scoring student usually get rewarded with an A and not a B when a grading curve is employed?

She is also going all in on the "trainer" career path, taking physiology/anatomy and "a bunch of athletic conditioning classes" (again) next year. I really hope she doesn't change her mind and want to go into a more "academic" path of study, because she might have a hard time getting into the Engineering school with a transcript full of weight training classes. She is still highly driven though, and aims to finish her 20 page Senior paper in her first semester.

8. This pic is actually from Shari's Insta, but it looks like she already has the puppy sleeping in her bed in the new house.

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[natalka81]

This whole vlogging about body fat stuff is very concerning. I'm really disappointed that Ruby, as a newly minted psychology specialist, hasn't put a stop to it.

[ba1006]

I’m confused. Didn’t Shari say she was getting her very own bathroom in the new house? Looks like the bathroom is in the hallway..won’t the other girls be using that one too?

Well from what I got out of the video, Julie and Eve are sharing a bathroom and honestly, idk about Abby, but Shari's bathroom is (from what I gather) actually IN her room instead of a conjoining bathroom. However, back to abby, even if abby and Shari are sharing a bathroom, in the old house they were referring to abby and shari's room as "shari's room" (as if abby didn't exist, or just slept there ). So it wouldn't surprise me if they were sharing but shari just took over the bathroom as usual.

According to Zillow, their new house has 7 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms so she probably does have her own bathroom.

[Parktown]

The boys are downstairs not because of gender but that is where Ruby tucks away anything nuisance to her and since Russell will have the dog andChad annoys her to no end tuck them away! I was so sad to hear Chad say ‘I was bad!’ G knows what she did to him since birth trying to get over the golden child she lost, that has made Chad value himself so little! I wish there was a higher power to clearly show her what an absolute horrendous parent she really is!
She was unlucky to miscarry that child and it is of course the worst experience for any woman but resented all the ones she did have, glorifying that one child! It is like if that one could not have her none of them would!
Julie probably got her own room because she reads here how people continuously call her out on how she treats Julie ,she has been pretending a lot when it comes to interacting with Julie lately!

She had more than one miscarriage, though. So it doesn't make sense that she "glorifies" the one when she had several. I don't necessarily believe that it was God's way of telling her she's a lousy parent, although she is a lousy parent. I do think that the sheer number of miscarriages was her body telling her to slow down (disclaimer: I mean Ruby specifically-- not aimed at anyone here who may have experienced losses). Having all those miscarriages had to have been hard on her body and her psyche. Add in the poor nutrition and taking care of small children, and she had to have been exhausted all the time.

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I would never say someone is a lousy parent for their loss maybe you misunderstood me.
I was referring to her video on her miscarriages! When she did that vlog on her losses she stressed that only one of that of a little baby boy affected her severely which she spent years getting over and still suffers today.She even said on that video the others did not affect her as much! It is like after losing that one child she checked out for all the rest devastating as any loss can be.

[chs6213]

Ruby was about 17 weeks when she lost the baby boy. I believe she knew the gender and it wasn’t a guess or feeling. I think a loss at 17 weeks often will hit a mother harder than a loss a few days or even weeks after they find out. I believe she said she didn’t get to hold him? And there wasn’t as much support back then.

That video made me really sad and it’s actually the only time I’ve felt a lot of respect towards her. I’ve had losses and empathize. There are so many varying emotions and I felt like she was actually being legitimately honest. When she thought about speaking his name then couldn’t share it... I don’t know, it got me. And this was years ago, when she was much more real.

I don’t think this baby was some golden child who Chad or the others can’t live up to. I do think she loved him greatly and misses him though.


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[Alycat_2001_uk]

3. She goes to pick up the PO Box contents for the first time in months, but it is filled with bills and legal notices. No fan mail? Maybe the kids stopped sending it after Ruby made fun of their little paper creations and said that they "never fail to disappoint".

Ruby genuinely said that about gifts her fans had sent?! How ungrateful!

I do worry about Shari - I think she's trying to find her own identity and is at risk of making herself ill. It must be difficult to be a teenager in that house if you aren't allowed any personal expression and are expected to be the parent to your siblings.

[mikaydean]

Ruby was about 17 weeks when she lost the baby boy. I believe she knew the gender and it wasn’t a guess or feeling. I think a loss at 17 weeks often will hit a mother harder than a loss a few days or even weeks after they find out. I believe she said she didn’t get to hold him? And there wasn’t as much support back then.

That video made me really sad and it’s actually the only time I’ve felt a lot of respect towards her. I’ve had losses and empathize. There are so many varying emotions and I felt like she was actually being legitimately honest. When she thought about speaking his name then couldn’t share it... I don’t know, it got me. And this was years ago, when she was much more real.

I don’t think this baby was some golden child who Chad or the others can’t live up to. I do think she loved him greatly and misses him though.


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Wasn't that boy her first child? Wouldn't he be older than shari?

[Lionking23]

I’m guessing having her own bathroom would be like her sharing it with the sewing room, just like how Julie and Eve are sharing one,


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[SunnySide0]

I wonder if they’ve moved closer to the private school and then Chad will be the one travelling ages back to his school.


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[mikaydean]

I wonder if they’ve moved closer to the private school and then Chad will be the one travelling ages back to his school.


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No they only moved a few blocks from the old house.

[imoverit]

Anyone else notice the photos of their new house are gone from the various real estate sites? Does that usually happen when a house is bought? Darn

[shortstop]

I didn’t know about this until last year when a 9 year old went missing in the beautiful Black Hills BUT apparently we have a Mormon Compound.

[Ducklings4]

Ruby was about 17 weeks when she lost the baby boy. I believe she knew the gender and it wasn’t a guess or feeling. I think a loss at 17 weeks often will hit a mother harder than a loss a few days or even weeks after they find out. I believe she said she didn’t get to hold him? And there wasn’t as much support back then.

That video made me really sad and it’s actually the only time I’ve felt a lot of respect towards her. I’ve had losses and empathize. There are so many varying emotions and I felt like she was actually being legitimately honest. When she thought about speaking his name then couldn’t share it... I don’t know, it got me. And this was years ago, when she was much more real.

I don’t think this baby was some golden child who Chad or the others can’t live up to. I do think she loved him greatly and misses him though.


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My oldest child is older than Ellie. Saying they did not have support back then is ridiculous because I had friends who miscarried between 17-22 weeks and they were allowed to hold their baby. One of them had a service and burial. Maybe it was where she was from , but within the past 30 years there has been support for 2nd and 3rd trimester miscarriages. It also could be how her family supported her or didn’t support her. I don’t see Jennifer as an empathetic person.


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[lmmomSD]

The boys are downstairs not because of gender but that is where Ruby tucks away anything nuisance to her and since Russell will have the dog andChad annoys her to no end tuck them away! I was so sad to hear Chad say ‘I was bad!’ G knows what she did to him since birth trying to get over the golden child she lost, that has made Chad value himself so little! I wish there was a higher power to clearly show her what an absolute horrendous parent she really is!
She was unlucky to miscarry that child and it is of course the worst experience for any woman but resented all the ones she did have, glorifying that one child! It is like if that one could not have her none of them would!
Julie probably got her own room because she reads here how people continuously call her out on how she treats Julie ,she has been pretending a lot when it comes to interacting with Julie lately!

She had more than one miscarriage, though. So it doesn't make sense that she "glorifies" the one when she had several. I don't necessarily believe that it was God's way of telling her she's a lousy parent, although she is a lousy parent. I do think that the sheer number of miscarriages was her body telling her to slow down (disclaimer: I mean Ruby specifically-- not aimed at anyone here who may have experienced losses). Having all those miscarriages had to have been hard on her body and her psyche. Add in the poor nutrition and taking care of small children, and she had to have been exhausted all the time.

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I would never say someone is a lousy parent for their loss maybe you misunderstood me.
I was referring to her video on her miscarriages! When she did that vlog on her losses she stressed that only one of that of a little baby boy affected her severely which she spent years getting over and still suffers today.She even said on that video the others did not affect her as much! It is like after losing that one child she checked out for all the rest devastating as any loss can be.

I'm sorry for misunderstanding you! I hadn't seen that video.
Thanks for clarifying!

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[Alycat_2001_uk]

Ruby feels it's unhealthy to feel bad about making her small children 'fend for themselves' pretty much every day, and her only contribution is to buy in fast food instead.
I'd like her to feel a bit bad about it, because then perhaps she'll stop neglecting her kids.
Given that she has no job, it's not like she's short on time. Buying groceries, making food for her kids, cleaning the house and supporting the kids with any chores and homework is the minimum she should be doing.
Before you try pushing psychobabble on others, fix yourself Ruby.

[chs6213]

Just rewatched. Her last miscarriage was in 2006, which was the 17 week miscarriage. It was not her first pregnancy. She had a miscarriage in 2003, she didn’t know she was pregnant before she miscarried. The second was 2004, that was the one she didn’t feel much emotion about.

I was mistaken saying she didn’t feel support. She had said she had to have a D&C or labor at home instead of laboring in the hospital. She was scared to labor at home and being in pain. She said wherever they lived at the time may have been the reason and back in Utah, she thinks she may have been able to labor in the hospital and been able to hold him since she’s known several people that have miscarried at the same point and been able to.

She thinks about him daily but doesn’t cry often. She did every day for a long time. It sounds like a pretty normal grieving process. I don’t think she holds him above others.

Unrelated but related... support for miscarriages and stillbirths has gotten better but it was still hard to find in a lot of places 15, 20 years ago. I know a lot of people who have gone through losses and struggled finding support. And I know 28 years ago when my brother was stillborn, where we lived in Pennsylvania, it was nonexistent. I have my mom’s journals and e-mails she wrote about it.


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