8 Passengers: Spreading a Disease while Doing As I Please | Part #16

[ZzzCupcakes]

"It's not my job to make her feel better."

No, that's not how it works. You cannot force Eve to feel better, but, it is your job to provide her with a safe environment, support her emotionally, and provide for her needs, especially when she is struggling. It's true that as a parent you cannot always take your child's pain away, but, it is your job to support them.

Personal: We talked about this concept a lot when I was in veterinary school and learning how to effectively communicate with and support grieving/struggling clients. When someone loses a pet, there is nothing I can do to that would take all their pain away. And as someone who loves to help others, this was incredibly hard to accept. However, just because I *can't* take their pain away and make it all better, doesn't mean that I should do nothing to support them. I talk clients through procedures, make sure they understand what to expect so they can make informed decisions and feel confident about those decisions. I listen to their concerns, answer their questions, I cry with them, and I listen to them tell their favorite stories. It's not my job to take their pain away (I can't do that), but it is my job to help them through it as much as I can, and I take it just as seriously as the rest of my job.

My guess is Ruby learned of this concept in her fake program and saw an opportunity to absolve herself of even more responsibility for her kids. Not wanting your kids to come to you when they are struggling is so weird. Humans are social creatures. There are countless studies that show when going through hard experiences, having support is the most critical factor in mental health. And considering they can't have friends outside of the family, who are they supposed to turn to?

[tn37185mp]

All the Griffiths sisters are baby hatchers...not mothers. Real Mothers are nurturing and have unconditional love for their children. I’m no helicopter mom, but I would move heaven and earth to be there for my kids..whatever they needed. Of course they have to learn how to do for themselves...but you have to teach them, guide them with love and support. These sisters are missing something in their genetic code that is just all abt them...nobody else matters. Their so cold and calculating it’s disgusting. Shameful

Bonnie and Ellie are one and the same when it comes to their children. Bonnie might be a little more neglectful than Ellie. They both put their needs before their children. Ruby is much the same way. Bonnie and Ruby hoard clothes and by super expensive items for themselves and give their kids the bare minimum. Ellie does at least buy nice clothes for her kids and plenty of them. There is a little more motherly love given by Ellie to her kids, than by Bonnie. Ruby is just about the absolute worst out of the girls.

Then there is Julie. I don’t watch her family religiously but when I do, I see two parents that love their children. They seem to enjoy spending time with their kids. Their kids seem loved. I do feel like Landon is a habitual student, which puts a lot of stress on Julie. I wouldn’t lump Julie into the same category as Ruby, Bonnie and Ellie.

[eloise92]

The weird life coaching thing
a) she is being taught by someone who trained LAST YEAR?! I'm thinking this is another Utah MLM now... How can a newly 'qualified' person already be in the position to train someone?

b) Ruby/ the program seems to have gone from distraction from the problem i.e. have a treat/ not allowing the kids to express emotions to now not helping them at all. No you can't 'fix' your child's emotions through giving them a treat or some other quick relief/ bribery nor through getting angry at them. However, you can help them identify the emotions (emotional literacy), help them identify healthy coping mechanisms and healthy habits (eating, sleeping, helping others, talking about emotions, exercise). It's also important to give children information at a level they can understand. I.e. so in this situation your child knows why they need to stay home, that everyone has to, what we need to do to try and stay well. Also saying that the doctors are working hard to find how to stop anyone getting the virus. That no one is alone in the hospital (!) for instance 'all the doctors and nurses are there to take care of them'.

Also yes validate that it's extra hard for Eve that she just moved then this happened BUT... don't tell her she doesn't have any friends! Remind her about facetime and be organised enough that she can facetime friends/ cousins!!!

Ruby seems to have heard 'you can't fix this with treats' and gone 'oh... that's all I got! I can't help!'

[Catface2]

All the Griffiths sisters are baby hatchers...not mothers. Real Mothers are nurturing and have unconditional love for their children. I’m no helicopter mom, but I would move heaven and earth to be there for my kids..whatever they needed. Of course they have to learn how to do for themselves...but you have to teach them, guide them with love and support. These sisters are missing something in their genetic code that is just all abt them...nobody else matters. Their so cold and calculating it’s disgusting. Shameful

Bonnie and Ellie are one and the same when it comes to their children. Bonnie might be a little more neglectful than Ellie. They both put their needs before their children. Ruby is much the same way. Bonnie and Ruby hoard clothes and by super expensive items for themselves and give their kids the bare minimum. Ellie does at least buy nice clothes for her kids and plenty of them. There is a little more motherly love given by Ellie to her kids, than by Bonnie. Ruby is just about the absolute worst out of the girls.

Then there is Julie. I don’t watch her family religiously but when I do, I see two parents that love their children. They seem to enjoy spending time with their kids. Their kids seem loved. I do feel like Landon is a habitual student, which puts a lot of stress on Julie. I wouldn’t lump Julie into the same category as Ruby, Bonnie and Ellie.

My bad..I completely forgot about Julie. She is the only sister with any nurturing going on. She doesn’t seem to be a self absorbed clown like her sisters.

[gopedjane]

All the Griffiths sisters are baby hatchers...not mothers. Real Mothers are nurturing and have unconditional love for their children. I’m no helicopter mom, but I would move heaven and earth to be there for my kids..whatever they needed. Of course they have to learn how to do for themselves...but you have to teach them, guide them with love and support. These sisters are missing something in their genetic code that is just all abt them...nobody else matters. Their so cold and calculating it’s disgusting. Shameful

Bonnie and Ellie are one and the same when it comes to their children. Bonnie might be a little more neglectful than Ellie. They both put their needs before their children. Ruby is much the same way. Bonnie and Ruby hoard clothes and by super expensive items for themselves and give their kids the bare minimum. Ellie does at least buy nice clothes for her kids and plenty of them. There is a little more motherly love given by Ellie to her kids, than by Bonnie. Ruby is just about the absolute worst out of the girls.

Then there is Julie. I don’t watch her family religiously but when I do, I see two parents that love their children. They seem to enjoy spending time with their kids. Their kids seem loved. I do feel like Landon is a habitual student, which puts a lot of stress on Julie. I wouldn’t lump Julie into the same category as Ruby, Bonnie and Ellie.

My bad..I completely forgot about Julie. She is the only sister with any nurturing going on. She doesn’t seem to be a self absorbed clown like her sisters.

No Julie is the same. It's not as obvious with her because she doesn't have the "money" yet. However, if you watch her vlogs you see it.

Also, Ellie does NOT buy a lot of clothes for her kids. Maybe for the babies but that's it. She only wants to wash one or two outfits and one set of pj's for them a week.

[emma2948]

Ruby says, “It’s not my job to make my child feel better when they are sad.” Um… yes it is Ruby. What the hell is she even saying anymore? When I was that young and was sad about something, my mom always tried to make me feel better, most times it would work because kids tend to forget bad things and be more resilient and sometimes it didn’t work. Why does she think she shouldn’t be one of the people who make Eve feel like she should be “excited and joyful?” Isn’t that the job of the parent? To keep your kids happy (at least the younger ones most of the time)?? Ruby says, “I don’t have the ability to make Eve happy.” wow… she’s fully given up on every single parenting responsibility ever. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s okay for kids to feel sad, mad, angry and let them feel whatever they want to, but not doing anything about it 100% of the time, like what Ruby said she’s gonna do is crazy to me.

[PumpkinHead]

I have no doubt that Bonnie and Ellie probably feel the same way about their kids, and share a lot of the same parenting philosophies as Ruby.. but Ruby is by far the worst. It blows my mind that she says the things she says, like she's proud of it! Because making your kids fend for themselves and being emotionally unavailable makes you the world's great mom Man, my heart really breaks for those kids.

[emma2948]

“I don’t think they are more important than us.” Ruby thinks the people in hospitals who are suffering and who are alone and have no one to comfort them are NOT more important than her… I don’t know if that’s what she meant to tell Eve, but knowing Ruby, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what she meant. I’ve literally never known anyone as selfish as Ruby, and I’m worried that she’s teaching Eve to be the same way.

[natalka81]

Today's vlog was INFURIATING. I am absolutely appalled. YouTube supposedly has a policy that says you can't film your child on the toilet, naked, getting injured, getting blood taken, etc. They really need a policy that says you also cannot film your child in a pseudo-psychotherapy session while exploiting their emotions and pontificating to others about the right way to parent.

[Parktown]

The woman is dangerously stupid! She reads in her dumb non existent literature that people’s emotions cannot be changed and deciphers it as oh great let me check out even more as a mom since I can’t change how you feel! Nurture has no meaning to her and after exploiting her crying 6 year old she sends her off to bed alone! Can’t even raise her useless behind to go cuddle 5 minutes in bed! When Eve is left alone to deal with her stress that is when mental health issues start to occur! Ruby is clueless and dangerous and devoid of any emotion and understanding there of.
Eve went to her,crying and what does the 6 year old receive observing the mother for understanding? Wait honey let me grab the camera and shove it in your face press record now what was that you are sad? How sad? Do you miss everyone? You broke my heart! Let recap and regurgitate the sadness! Lets cry more! Lets talk about how I can’t help you! Help yourself but please keep looking into the camera!

[Parktown]

She can’t help Eve with her emotions but Eve can certainly help her with her emotions viewing her bank account she made off Eve’s tears!
Sorry for doubles but the woman is despicable!

[amyfalafalagain]

I can’t believe what I just watched!!! She’s noticed responsible for her kids emotions? If their emotional needs aren’t met from the people raising them that’s on the kid who doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to run for the hills? I am so sad that there are actual followers who adore and look up to ruby and think this will be a good idea to apply to their own children’s lives?? Good she’s documenting this for her children to look back on later to see where shit hit thr fan… what the actual f....

[amyfalafalagain]

I can’t believe what I just watched!!! She’s noticed responsible for her kids emotions? If their emotional needs aren’t met from the people raising them that’s on the kid who doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to run for the hills? I am so sad that there are actual followers who adore and look up to ruby and think this will be a good idea to apply to their own children’s lives?? Good she’s documenting this for her children to look back on later to see where shit hit thr fan… what the actual f....

Excuse my typos I’m using an iPad for the first time and hate it.

I’m still flabbergasted that she thinks her kids emotions may not be her own doing?? They feel disconnect to you- if you ever wonder why Ruby, that’s because of you. Not because they chose to feel that way from you. It’s the result of your emotional unavailability. There’s a difference with guiding and teaching your kid to deal with stress, and how to express emotions and this is NOT the way to do it. Take responsibility for bringing these innocent kids into the world! You did this. They didn’t have a choice here Ruby. Or does she think they did.

[imoverit]

I am shocked this video doesn’t have more dislikes. Surely even casual viewers see how horrible it is.

[eloise92]

I think Shari's video today, or just generally her recent videos, show what the kids are actually like when they are relaxed. It shows how they aren't relaxed around Ruby!
Also that Shari does have insight into being intense at times and can see the funny side of things. It reminded me of a vlog she did with her friends where they got the train to Salt Lake.
I really hope she is able to just study and live, work etc until 25 at least before having kids because she is still growing up and will continue to.

[Alycat_2001_uk]

I think Shari's video today, or just generally her recent videos, show what the kids are actually like when they are relaxed. It shows how they aren't relaxed around Ruby!
Also that Shari does have insight into being intense at times and can see the funny side of things. It reminded me of a vlog she did with her friends where they got the train to Salt Lake.
I really hope she is able to just study and live, work etc until 25 at least before having kids because she is still growing up and will continue to.

Yup, the kids generally seem to get along and be more relaxed when their mum isn't around.
I think Shari is a people pleaser who wants to show how good and grown up she is. It likely comes from Ruby pushing her to look after her siblings, along with her always acting like her kids need to be so perfect and independent. I think Shari will do well once she moves out and has a bit of a break from Ruby.

[thanksihateit]

This is very nit picky of me but it bothers me how public they, and all Mormons for that matter, are about fasting. I was raised in an extremely catholic home and we were told to never tell people we are fasting (except the no meat on Friday cause that’s more of a public fact) because Matthew 6:16-18 states:

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

I’m not religious at all anymore and maybe it’s just my upbringing but it always bothers me how they feel the need to state it in their posts.

They're the same about tithing and charity. All the "look! We're tithing!" and making sure they show their kids tithing when they get paid for grades or money on birthdays, and showing off charitable acts. In the same passage, the Bible says not to brag about good works, and to not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. It's not just Mormon vloggers though. Sav and Cole Labrant do that too.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

I thought it was so weird too that they’re like..boasting about it. Look look we’re tithing we’re such good people. It’s not necessary.

[thatgirl_]

*Excuse my poor English, is not my first language*


I truly believe Ruby has some sort of mental issue. The way she acts with her children is not normal. It's like she sees them as her rivals, not her responsability. Of course you can make your daughter's concern go way with just a huge, but you can make her feel safer. It's your duty as a mother. If Eve is feeling anxious because all these covid-19 situation (omg news are full of death, devastation and crisis if I feel awful when I hear them, imagine being a 6 years old) you must explain her how things are gonna be from now on. This family is lucky. They're wealthy, they have a new, big, comfy home. The father has a real job. They are not gonna lose a lot with this crisis. Why don't you say that to your daughter? "Don't worry Eve, we're gonna be ok and we all are healthy". Poor Eve. The child has potential. She's smart. But because of her parents poor parenting skills she will have a lot of traumas in the future. She lies that much because she has learnt is the only way she can have her mother's attention. She doesn't care for school because she knows her mother doesn't care either. She fights that much because is the only way she has to express her feelings, because her mother thinks a 6 years old doesn't need comfort.

But NO. Instead of doing that, you decide to record your crying kid because money, money, money. Who cares for a little girl's feelings? Not Ruby. Selfish. Narcissistic. Psyco. There aren't enough words in the world to describe her. How the hell she thinks is OK to huge Eve looking in to the camera?? Look at you child into her eyes for once in your life! It brokes my heart when I realised that Eve also look to the camera instead to her mother while she's talking. She already know the only way to comunicate with Ruby is trough a camera.

OMG the part when Eve is talking about people in hospitals? She's more aware about them than her grown up mother. Instead of saying: "I don't think they are more important than us" and just that, what she should have say to Eve is something like: "People is giving them tablets and cellphones to videocall their families so they won't feel that lonely" or "I agree we all need to help them and that's why we stay at home, but we all are equaly important". She's so narcissistic that she can't stand the idea that now there is people more important than her.


"You don't have any friends here". God Ruby. Really? "We are together as a family Eve, and you have your brothers and sisters with you. You'll see your friends soon and you'll have plenty of time to play with them, but for now you can play with your siblings, don't you think you're a lucky girl?".

And, what about Kevin? The man is even worse than her. He doesn't care either for his family. He should have stop Ruby long ago. But he's a fake father. He's only there when it's time to take a "happy family" picture.

[Namm]

*Excuse my poor English, is not my first language*


I truly believe Ruby has some sort of mental issue. The way she acts with her children is not normal. It's like she sees them as her rivals, not her responsability. Of course you can make your daughter's concern go way with just a huge, but you can make her feel safer. It's your duty as a mother. If Eve is feeling anxious because all these covid-19 situation (omg news are full of death, devastation and crisis if I feel awful when I hear them, imagine being a 6 years old) you must explain her how things are gonna be from now on. This family is lucky. They're wealthy, they have a new, big, comfy home. The father has a real job. They are not gonna lose a lot with this crisis. Why don't you say that to your daughter? "Don't worry Eve, we're gonna be ok and we all are healthy". Poor Eve. The child has potential. She's smart. But because of her parents poor parenting skills she will have a lot of traumas in the future. She lies that much because she has learnt is the only way she can have her mother's attention. She doesn't care for school because she knows her mother doesn't care either. She fights that much because is the only way she has to express her feelings, because her mother thinks a 6 years old doesn't need comfort.

But NO. Instead of doing that, you decide to record your crying kid because money, money, money. Who cares for a little girl's feelings? Not Ruby. Selfish. Narcissistic. Psyco. There aren't enough words in the world to describe her. How the hell she thinks is OK to huge Eve looking in to the camera?? Look at you child into her eyes for once in your life! It brokes my heart when I realised that Eve also look to the camera instead to her mother while she's talking. She already know the only way to comunicate with Ruby is trough a camera.

OMG the part when Eve is talking about people in hospitals? She's more aware about them than her grown up mother. Instead of saying: "I don't think they are more important than us" and just that, what she should have say to Eve is something like: "People is giving them tablets and cellphones to videocall their families so they won't feel that lonely" or "I agree we all need to help them and that's why we stay at home, but we all are equaly important". She's so narcissistic that she can't stand the idea that now there is people more important than her.


"You don't have any friends here". God Ruby. Really? "We are together as a family Eve, and you have your brothers and sisters with you. You'll see your friends soon and you'll have plenty of time to play with them, but for now you can play with your siblings, don't you think you're a lucky girl?".

And, what about Kevin? The man is even worse than her. He doesn't care either for his family. He should have stop Ruby long ago. But he's a fake father. He's only there when it's time to take a "happy family" picture.

Ruby is suffering from the same condition as her mom and sisters, it's called narcissism. Kevin is not far behind, he's selfabsorbed, arrogant and full of himself as well. I think Shari inherited his arrogance.

[Cinderellaswiss]

Ruby says, “It’s not my job to make my child feel better when they are sad.” Um… yes it is Ruby. What the hell is she even saying anymore? When I was that young and was sad about something, my mom always tried to make me feel better, most times it would work because kids tend to forget bad things and be more resilient and sometimes it didn’t work. Why does she think she shouldn’t be one of the people who make Eve feel like she should be “excited and joyful?” Isn’t that the job of the parent? To keep your kids happy (at least the younger ones most of the time)?? Ruby says, “I don’t have the ability to make Eve happy.” wow… she’s fully given up on every single parenting responsibility ever. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s okay for kids to feel sad, mad, angry and let them feel whatever they want to, but not doing anything about it 100% of the time, like what Ruby said she’s gonna do is crazy to me.

I agree with all of you! I'm appalled beyond believe, had to turn it off! What is wrong with her?!? She has come a long way from " I just want to be a mum who brings her daughter to preschool. All I ever wanted to do is having kids and look after them, nurture them, cook for them". Seriously shocking. I hope YouTube starts reacting to this type of emotional abuse.