Todays drama wrote: ↑Fri May 08, 2020 12:31 pm
Ellie needs an intervention. I think that her aches and pains are her body breaking down. When she goes to the doctors in July, I hope he has a talk with Jared, possibly putting Ellie in a hospital. Jared needs to be strong enough to get Ellie help or I don't think she'll ever change. She looks old, sick, nothing about her says healthy, vibrant 29 years old mom. She's withering away, sad but true.
I agree 100%! When I saw the recent photo of her on here (the one with the dog), I was alarmed. I really, really, really hope it's just a bad angle/distorted photo because if that is the true reflection of her body, I think she's in trouble. Judging by the other photos posted from the past, she has been in trouble for a long time. If you look at her large joints (elbows, knees), they protrude. She has almost
no muscle tone and appears skeletal except for the little muscle on her calf that she's developed from wearing heels. Her skin appears sallow and the dark circles under her eyes that she claims have always been there (and they have if you look at her childhood photos), while this can be more prominent in people with fair skin, can also be an indicator of poor health, which I FIRMLY believe she has.
There is something called sustainable anorexia. I forget the real medical term, but it's basically anorexia that is maintained over a period of many, many years as opposed to a more dramatic progression. In this case, a person will keep themselves just barely above a
very low baseline of health to avoid tripping any alarms, so to speak. They can also go through periods of relatively healthy-
looking eating patterns. It's not really about the food, though. Someone with anorexia can still eat and eat regularly, however, *what* they eat and *how* they eat are the underlying mechanisms that keep it going. She can eat candy until she barfs (and I suspect there may be some of that mixed in, too, with her obsessions about gorging on snacks in the bedroom and at very late hours of the night) and still definitely have a profound eating disorder. We've seen her exhibit tale-tell signs like pushing food around the plate, regressing or reverting back to childlike behavior around food and mealtimes (pulling her feet up into the chair like a little girl or going under the table), and also not eating her adult portion of a meal, but rather taking bites from other people's plates. <-
That is a red flag that prevents people from actually knowing how much she eats. Mealtimes must be VERY stressful to her and I suspect that is why Jared does most of the cooking. Family dinners together are probably very rare and will get even rarer as the boys get older and will be aware enough to start noticing her abnormal eating habits. She'll have them eat at a separate time from her. That has already started. These are control mechanisms to hide what she knows is a problem she is powerless to stop, and she's probably kept this just barely above the danger zone for a decade at least, but it may have shown up in her hormone problems(?), infertility(?), irritability, etc. Now, it's beginning to take its toll on her body in more noticeable ways as her deficiencies are catching up with her. Her problems are a "mystery" to everyone because she's done a good job at throwing everyone off the scent of an actual eating disorder (which are really underlying psychological problems) and she's probably lying through her teeth with any "doctor" or therapist she is in contact with. I also see red flags in her alternative avenues of treatment. She's only going to doctors and getting counseling in ways that SHE can control. When it gets out of her control or when it gets too close to the real problem, she discards them and finds another. She is "Dr. shopping", but not in the way a drug addict would. She's crying out for help and for someone to actually notice what her problem really is and help her. That's what all her "Woe is me
" stuff is about. She's crying out for someone to notice, but she's going to bite every hand that comes close to giving her REAL help. That's typical. That's part of the psychology. She needs an intervention - BADLY - and whoever steps up to the plate needs to love her enough to let her hate them. She will. She's functional, but barely. It's going downhill pretty quickly. I'm mainly writing this in hopes that someone from her intimate circle actually does lurk on here. SHE NEEDS HELP.