8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

[mollybaby]

If you take a look at their social blade, they deleted a vlog/vlogs yesterday.


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[tarheelgirl-71]

Today I came across a post about narcissistic families.

A narcissistic family is one in which the needs of the parents are the focus and the children are expected in various ways to meet those needs.

As in other kinds of dysfunctional families, there is abuse and corresponding denial of the abuse. There is also secrecy, neglect, unrealistic expectations, an impoverishment of empathy, disrespect for boundaries, and ongoing conflict.

To gain acceptance, children must comply with the family narrative and value system. Expressions of difference are rejected and pathologized.  

Everyone is expected to submit to the dominant narcissist’s authority, no matter how ignorant, arbitrary, cruel, or destructive it is.

Renewable resources in healthy families, love and respect are limited to the narcissist and whomever else is deemed worthy, usually a favored "golden" child.

Typically there is a family scapegoat who is made to bear the main burden of the family’s problems, frustration, and unhappiness, as well as the dominant narcissist’s projected self-loathing. 

One-upmanship, favoritism, and constant comparison create a harshly competitive environment that undermines trust and breeds hostility and betrayal.

To sustain the dominant narcissist’s control over the family, there is denial of:

1. Abusive incidents
2. Continual atmosphere of fear
3. Ongoing mistreatment of the scapegoat/s
4. Routine forms of neglect

Although the scapegoat is targeted with the most abuse, everyone is on hyperalert because no one is safe from blame and rage. 

Sounds familiar? Golden child aka Shark, scapegoat aka Chad.
Abusive incidents, neglect... yeah I think Ruby pretty much ticks all the boxes!

I agree. Ruby fits all the criteria!
I watched an old vlog recently that highlights the constant fear especially with the younger ones. I think it was 3 maybe 4 years ago. All the kids were packing to go on a trip to grandma’s. Ruby was checking each backpack to make sure they had what they needed. Julie looked terrified when Ruby checked hers. Julie wanted to take her stuffed bear that she slept with every night. Of course Ruby made it seem like it was fine, but that poor girl was crying while Abbey explained to Ruby that she couldn’t sleep without “Sprinkles”. It broke my heart to see her so scared that her mom was going to make her leave the bear at home.


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[Lolislol26]

Today I came across a post about narcissistic families.

A narcissistic family is one in which the needs of the parents are the focus and the children are expected in various ways to meet those needs.

As in other kinds of dysfunctional families, there is abuse and corresponding denial of the abuse. There is also secrecy, neglect, unrealistic expectations, an impoverishment of empathy, disrespect for boundaries, and ongoing conflict.

To gain acceptance, children must comply with the family narrative and value system. Expressions of difference are rejected and pathologized.  

Everyone is expected to submit to the dominant narcissist’s authority, no matter how ignorant, arbitrary, cruel, or destructive it is.

Renewable resources in healthy families, love and respect are limited to the narcissist and whomever else is deemed worthy, usually a favored "golden" child.

Typically there is a family scapegoat who is made to bear the main burden of the family’s problems, frustration, and unhappiness, as well as the dominant narcissist’s projected self-loathing. 

One-upmanship, favoritism, and constant comparison create a harshly competitive environment that undermines trust and breeds hostility and betrayal.

To sustain the dominant narcissist’s control over the family, there is denial of:

1. Abusive incidents
2. Continual atmosphere of fear
3. Ongoing mistreatment of the scapegoat/s
4. Routine forms of neglect

Although the scapegoat is targeted with the most abuse, everyone is on hyperalert because no one is safe from blame and rage. 

Sounds familiar? Golden child aka Shark, scapegoat aka Chad.
Abusive incidents, neglect... yeah I think Ruby pretty much ticks all the boxes!

I agree. Ruby fits all the criteria!
I watched an old vlog recently that highlights the constant fear especially with the younger ones. I think it was 3 maybe 4 years ago. All the kids were packing to go on a trip to grandma’s. Ruby was checking each backpack to make sure they had what they needed. Julie looked terrified when Ruby checked hers. Julie wanted to take her stuffed bear that she slept with every night. Of course Ruby made it seem like it was fine, but that poor girl was crying while Abbey explained to Ruby that she couldn’t sleep without “Sprinkles”. It broke my heart to see her so scared that her mom was going to make her leave the bear at home.


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Was the the same video where Julie packed Abby’s underwear?


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[tebbyvines]

Today I came across a post about narcissistic families.

A narcissistic family is one in which the needs of the parents are the focus and the children are expected in various ways to meet those needs.

As in other kinds of dysfunctional families, there is abuse and corresponding denial of the abuse. There is also secrecy, neglect, unrealistic expectations, an impoverishment of empathy, disrespect for boundaries, and ongoing conflict.

To gain acceptance, children must comply with the family narrative and value system. Expressions of difference are rejected and pathologized.  

Everyone is expected to submit to the dominant narcissist’s authority, no matter how ignorant, arbitrary, cruel, or destructive it is.

Renewable resources in healthy families, love and respect are limited to the narcissist and whomever else is deemed worthy, usually a favored "golden" child.

Typically there is a family scapegoat who is made to bear the main burden of the family’s problems, frustration, and unhappiness, as well as the dominant narcissist’s projected self-loathing. 

One-upmanship, favoritism, and constant comparison create a harshly competitive environment that undermines trust and breeds hostility and betrayal.

To sustain the dominant narcissist’s control over the family, there is denial of:

1. Abusive incidents
2. Continual atmosphere of fear
3. Ongoing mistreatment of the scapegoat/s
4. Routine forms of neglect

Although the scapegoat is targeted with the most abuse, everyone is on hyperalert because no one is safe from blame and rage. 

Sounds familiar? Golden child aka Shark, scapegoat aka Chad.
Abusive incidents, neglect... yeah I think Ruby pretty much ticks all the boxes!

I agree. Ruby fits all the criteria!
I watched an old vlog recently that highlights the constant fear especially with the younger ones. I think it was 3 maybe 4 years ago. All the kids were packing to go on a trip to grandma’s. Ruby was checking each backpack to make sure they had what they needed. Julie looked terrified when Ruby checked hers. Julie wanted to take her stuffed bear that she slept with every night. Of course Ruby made it seem like it was fine, but that poor girl was crying while Abbey explained to Ruby that she couldn’t sleep without “Sprinkles”. It broke my heart to see her so scared that her mom was going to make her leave the bear at home.


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Was the the same video where Julie packed Abby’s underwear?


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No. It's called 'Emotional packing day'

[Jamie Love]

sorry if this has been said before but,
Ruby is going after smaller creators like Sloan for copyright and having her lawyers send out cease and desist letters.

I hope Ruby and her camp know that this makes her more shady and unlikeable than ever before and this is just putting fire to the flame. Also, that she can't take any legal action if her were to continue. I've watched his videos and he hasn't said anything that other Youtubers haven't said before and just stated other people's opinions as well as his own. Just like other creators he was using content that RUBY HERSELF put on the interwebs. Honestly, if she couldn't take the criticism that people have she shouldn't be on YouTube and she definitely shouldn't be giving parenting advise and shouldn't be showing the content she posts.


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqW9ZA ... 4Fg/videos

[destroyedbythesun]

I’ve been rewatching some of their videos and something that constantly happens and bothers me is how Ruby disciplines the kids in front of each other. Especially in front of Shari. Most of the the kids are too young to probably ever remember seeing Shari get in trouble and now every time they do something wrong not only does their mom discipline them but you have Shari throwing them under the bus and making them feel even worse for usually minor mistakes.

I have an 8 year age gap with my sister and my parents never disciplined me in front of her. Solely because when I was 8 and she was 16 she would have laid into me about whatever I had done because it had been years since she had made a mistake like I had.

Shari is not completely responsible for her behavior but she absolutely acts like her siblings answer to her and that she has never been in trouble or made a mistake in her entire life. She’s in for a rude awakening when she moves out and realizes her peers aren’t going to just listen to her because she told them what to do and thinks she’s in charge of everyone. I can see her having major issues with her first roommate because unlike sharing with her little sister, she won’t be able to call all the shots and expect her roommate to just go along with it. She also won’t be able to call it her room and say her roommate just sleeps there like she did with Abby.

One reason Shari left the public school is because Shari kept telling her small group of friends what to do. She's always had a controlling attitude coming from her mother. Her friends stood up to her and Shari and Ruby took it at bullying. They left the school and made a video trashing public schools.

[destroyedbythesun]

I’ve been rewatching some of their videos and something that constantly happens and bothers me is how Ruby disciplines the kids in front of each other. Especially in front of Shari. Most of the the kids are too young to probably ever remember seeing Shari get in trouble and now every time they do something wrong not only does their mom discipline them but you have Shari throwing them under the bus and making them feel even worse for usually minor mistakes.

I have an 8 year age gap with my sister and my parents never disciplined me in front of her. Solely because when I was 8 and she was 16 she would have laid into me about whatever I had done because it had been years since she had made a mistake like I had.

Shari is not completely responsible for her behavior but she absolutely acts like her siblings answer to her and that she has never been in trouble or made a mistake in her entire life. She’s in for a rude awakening when she moves out and realizes her peers aren’t going to just listen to her because she told them what to do and thinks she’s in charge of everyone. I can see her having major issues with her first roommate because unlike sharing with her little sister, she won’t be able to call all the shots and expect her roommate to just go along with it. She also won’t be able to call it her room and say her roommate just sleeps there like she did with Abby.

One reason Shari left the public school is because Shari kept telling her small group of friends what to do. She's always had a controlling attitude coming from her mother. Her friends stood up to her and Shari and Ruby took it at bullying. They left the school and made a video trashing public schools.

[lmmomSD]

sorry if this has been said before but,
Ruby is going after smaller creators like Sloan for copyright and having her lawyers send out cease and desist letters.

I hope Ruby and her camp know that this makes her more shady and unlikeable than ever before and this is just putting fire to the flame. Also, that she can't take any legal action if her were to continue. I've watched his videos and he hasn't said anything that other Youtubers haven't said before and just stated other people's opinions as well as his own. Just like other creators he was using content that RUBY HERSELF put on the interwebs. Honestly, if she couldn't take the criticism that people have she shouldn't be on YouTube and she definitely shouldn't be giving parenting advise and shouldn't be showing the content she posts.


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqW9ZA ... 4Fg/videos

She's not going to succeed. It's called "fair use". People do reaction videos all the time, and YT has upheld their rights to do so.
She is spending money on attorneys for the wrong reasons.

[Alycat_2001_uk]

I know they've put up a few videos since bed-gate but I just don't think I can bring myself to watch them. I assume that it's them being sickly sweet fake cutesy family as though they aren't being so abusive?

[eloise92]

I know they've put up a few videos since bed-gate but I just don't think I can bring myself to watch them. I assume that it's them being sickly sweet fake cutesy family as though they aren't being so abusive?

I have watched them but on invideous. I didn't know it existed until someone on here posted it but it means you aren't giving them views etc.
The videos feel very staged, Ruby isn't on camera and for the 'end of school' one everything is filmed in the kitchen/ open-plan downstairs area. Like a set.

https://invidio.us/channel/UCQ3FRaHOIwX ... _by=newest

[tebbyvines]

New vlog. These are my notes on it.

No ads? Have they been demonetized?

• Chad in the thumbnail, clearly Ruby's idea to gain more views. Since videos with Chad in the thumbnail get more views.

• No Ruby again. Surprise, Surprise. (Edit, she showed up as I was typing. Only briefly though)

• Shari constantly interrupting Kevin when he's talking about supplements. Like, nobody cares that YOU made a video on it. Kevin isn't talking about YOU.

• Russell's vlogging almost gave me motion sickness.

• Shari getting in trouble for once made me weirdly happy. She needs taking down a few levels. She's been on a pedestal for far too long. But if anyone else, especially Chad. Had done that to Ruby's pot, she'd make him pay for a new one.

[Happy+Charlie]

New vlog. These are my notes on it.

No ads? Have they been demonetized?

• Chad in the thumbnail, clearly Ruby's idea to gain more views. Since videos with Chad in the thumbnail get more views.

• No Ruby again. Surprise, Surprise. (Edit, she showed up as I was typing. Only briefly though)

• Shari constantly interrupting Kevin when he's talking about supplements. Like, nobody cares that YOU made a video on it. Kevin isn't talking about YOU.

• Russell's vlogging almost gave me motion sickness.

• Shari getting in trouble for once made me weirdly happy. She needs taking down a few levels. She's been on a pedestal for far too long. But if anyone else, especially Chad. Had done that to Ruby's pot, she'd make him pay for a new one.

Kevin going over his many pills he takes.....CLA "I don't know what it does," either he doesn't want to say, or doesn't know (in that case why would he take something he doesn't know what it does?) appears to be a weight loss supplement. I hope if he's on any prescribed meds he does check with doctor to find out if all these supplements are safe to mix.

[nesland300]

I don't think starting out with Chad talking about a friend was any coincidence. Definitely damage control for the whole "no friends" thing.

[JetpackBlue]

I am pretty sure the only reason Chad was featured so much in the video is a way of damage controlling the abuse allegations, I wouldn't be surprised if they "off-hand" mention that he got his bed back or that he and Eve (since people are speaking about her being mistreated as well) get some sort of special treatment and attention for the vlog.

[Audrey3196]

It’s honestly so frustrating watching Shari get away with a half assed apology when you know that if chad or Julie had been the ones to scratch that pot, Ruby would have taken everything away from them and made them pay for a new pot. And Shari would have screamed at them as well about how stupid they are. But when Shari makes a mistake she gets away with it because she “wasn’t thinking”

[YTIG60]

I am pretty sure the only reason Chad was featured so much in the video is a way of damage controlling the abuse allegations, I wouldn't be surprised if they "off-hand" mention that he got his bed back or that he and Eve (since people are speaking about her being mistreated as well) get some sort of special treatment and attention for the vlog.

I feel like we've gone from watching the mom/family in Jon and Kate Plus Eight to --> the 50's mom/family in Leave it to Beaver or the Anderson family in Father Knows Best.
I imagine with editing, they can keep this perfect family image up for a long time.

[Namm]

I’ve been rewatching some of their videos and something that constantly happens and bothers me is how Ruby disciplines the kids in front of each other. Especially in front of Shari. Most of the the kids are too young to probably ever remember seeing Shari get in trouble and now every time they do something wrong not only does their mom discipline them but you have Shari throwing them under the bus and making them feel even worse for usually minor mistakes.

I have an 8 year age gap with my sister and my parents never disciplined me in front of her. Solely because when I was 8 and she was 16 she would have laid into me about whatever I had done because it had been years since she had made a mistake like I had.

Shari is not completely responsible for her behavior but she absolutely acts like her siblings answer to her and that she has never been in trouble or made a mistake in her entire life. She’s in for a rude awakening when she moves out and realizes her peers aren’t going to just listen to her because she told them what to do and thinks she’s in charge of everyone. I can see her having major issues with her first roommate because unlike sharing with her little sister, she won’t be able to call all the shots and expect her roommate to just go along with it. She also won’t be able to call it her room and say her roommate just sleeps there like she did with Abby.

One reason Shari left the public school is because Shari kept telling her small group of friends what to do. She's always had a controlling attitude coming from her mother. Her friends stood up to her and Shari and Ruby took it at bullying. They left the school and made a video trashing public schools.

I didn't know about that, but it makes sense though. I thought the public schools were bad in the area. They are so delusional. Shari is going to face the same in life everywhere. How is she even going to survive college or a marriage?

Didn't they talk about going back to public school lately and hinting that private wasn't that much better. I think it's the money. Ruby doesn't want to pay anymore as YouTube income has declined and they need to focuse on the new house and all the coming costs.
They could've saved all that private school money for each childs future but Ruby had to show off.

[nesland300]

I didn't know about that, but it makes sense though. I thought the public schools were bad in the area.

They seem to live in a fairly upscale area, which typically means the schools are decently funded. If the public schools are bad in their area I would guess the only reason would be prevalence of Mormons in the staff and administration letting their cult leak into their work. For Ruby though the problem is probably that the public schools aren't Mormon enough.

[nesland300]

I have been watching old vlogs and I just came across one where Chad writes a "contract" asking if the kids can buy themselves a Wii. He is obviously asking for it because the Xbox was locked up for being not "family friendly". Ruby won't agree to allow them to get the Wii, but suggests they sell the Xbox since "they don't use it". Chad is pissed and says it is because she won't let them use it.

I remember that and it made my blood boil. If you're the parent and you don't want an Xbox in the house, fine. But grow up, be an adult, and tell the kids you don't want an Xbox in the house. Don't play the childish, manipulative games that falsely put the blame for your choice back on the kid.

[rulatows000]

I feel like even when they try to be fake and pretend that they're a happy, normal family in their vlogs - the dysfunction still shows through. First of all, Kevin with his pills. I don't know a lot about supplements, but he literally had handfuls upon handfuls of pills that he takes everyday. I just don't think that can be good for anyone and I also can't stand how vain he is. Why does he need to be a bodybuilder? Yes, he should exercise and want to take care of himself, but there's no reason for him to be living at the gym and taking thousands of pills for his body image while he has six kids at home who need him. It made me really sad at the beginning when Kevin said he was going to the gym and Russell said, "I wish I could go with you." Poor kid. Do their parents ever spend one on one time with them? It also made me sad that Kevin is making breakfast for himself while Abby is making breakfast for Russell and Eve. Even when the parents are around, it's always still the older kids taking care of the younger kids.

The issue with Shari and the pot was just weird. I wanted to say that maybe she just hadn't been shown the right way to use it, but then Ruby said that she specifically told her not to do that. I feel like Shari's know-it-all attitude is going to get her in serious trouble some day, because she constantly does the opposite of what people tell her and comes up with excuses as to why she's right and should keep doing it her way. She barely got punished for it, though. I remember one time (was it Julie or Abby?) one of the younger girls did the laundry and didn't separate the colors, so Ruby's white dress got dyed pink. Ruby spent an entire vlog just humiliating that girl and of course Shari joined in yelling at her that she ruined it and making her feel horrible even though she really was just trying to help. I need to go back and find that vlog because the difference in the way Ruby responds when Shari makes a mistake vs. when one of the other kids makes a mistake, is pretty tell-tale of the favoritism and scapegoating that goes on in that house.