Phil and Alex: Struggling With Maternity After Laboring For Eternity | Part 10

[Here_2_talk]

I was watching Phil’s IG videos earlier today and I just got some major depression vibes from him. His tone doesn’t match what he is saying, he’s talking about all the ‘hardships’ (urgh, I puke every time he says that word!) and couldn’t even muster up his usual high energy for his encouragement segment. Made me think of all the high energy people that are really just masking major depression. Don’t know. He’s got a bio baby, the girls, he’s got a house, Alex, Alex’s new curves ( he so obviously like her thicker)... a lot of good things there and he’s all down.

One more thing, good to see Cassidy tossed in the corner (on the sheepskin- not in the rocker ) whilst they are cleaning and dancing. Easier to stumble and hurt her, right?! And just blame the girls. What is wrong with people?!
Apologies, two long rants in a day, but they make me so mad, that baby should be cuddled and held more. I can’t believe they are treating her this badly.


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[JeasicaA71184]

The “she’s a narcissist and he’s a pussywhipped enabler who is defenseless against her.” Theme is common across a lot of these boards (Phil and Alex, Keren and Khoa, Ellie and Jared, Aaryn and Nick).

Do you think it is the type of personality that is drawn to Youtube?

The type of personality that youtube fans are drawn towards watching/making famous?

The result of being on YouTube long enough it changes you into this?

Implicit bias we have about people who share their personal lives so publicly?


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You’ll also notice nearly all of the well known women were nurses of some sort. Odd isn’t it?

They all quit their job to be youtube stars which means they need to keep some story line going in order to keep that money coming
In. Let’s be real - if YouTube fails and they’ve been out of the workforce for over a decade- where would they work? Who would hire them? They have no resume or real marketable skills. Made up storylines is what pays the bills. If that means creating the worst possible scenario or situation - then that’s what it means.

[nicolefrost]

Wait how do we know she replaced the tube herself? I have a son with a g tube and I replace it myself. A NG tube gets pulled a lot especially a wiggly baby. It will have to be replaced frequently I imagine so why is it a big deal?


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You do it yourself? We had a nurse come over to do it. The NICU will often assign a company to come into your home to weigh and change any materials. Our LO was on an NG tub and oxygen. I had more issues with the oxygen cannula but I’m shocked a nurse doesn’t come to your home

He’s 10. He’s had his tube since he was 2. We had to go threw a class at the hospital to learn to do it before we were allowed to take him home. He actually refuses to allow doctors to do it without being sedated he has severe panic attacks with it being touched. But the first year I had his doctor do it in clinic because i didn’t want to hurt him. But after that I’ve done it myself. Now he had a GJ tube for 3 years and those are done sedated because it has to be placed using X-ray to make sure it’s routed into the small intestine. But with just a basic G tube it’s simple and they show you how to make sure it’s placed correctly.


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[Mookiel]

I hate to be this person but this thread is becoming unbearable for me with all the newfound medical experts.

Parents who go home with kids with NG tubes are often taught how to replace them. Go watch Meet the Millers and their baby Jensen when he had an NG. It’s not a super difficult thing to do, besides the fact that’s it’s uncomfortable and the baby doesn’t enjoy it. But it really doesn’t take a lot and the assessment skills to ensure correct placement are really minimal (which is why they let parents do this at home). And notice the IV pump and pull in the videos, that stuff doesn’t just show up out of nowhere. A home care supply company gets you set up with all that and you typically get lots of extra tubes and essentials when you go home with this type of medical equipment. Alex said Cassie was gagging on her tube and doing better with the new one. So her feeds are potentially going a bit slower (we have no idea what set rate they are going at...they’re on a pump not to gravity so good chance it’s not effected at all) but she’s not gagging so potentially spitting up less feeds. Critical thinking tells me that sounds like a good thing. And signing a baby out AMA isn’t as easy as it sounds...if there was any concern for her health social workers and CPS would be involved before she was allowed to do that. There’s no evidence to indicate that. Believe it or not, the goal is to get babies OUT of the hospital, especially in a pandemic. If she was tolerating the tube feedings and gaining weight, that’s all the matters. Close follow up on an outpatient basis is nearly always preferred to inpatient treatment.

I’ll be the first to say I think her feeding Cassie the oil sounded crazy. But some of the assumptions/accusations here are sounding pretty out of control in my opinion. Essentially accusing her of trying to kill Cassidy? Seriously guys.


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Thank you!! I love to snark and P&A drive me bonkers but the conclusions people jump to here are completely ridiculous.


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[Notmymonkeys]

I can’t stand p&a as much as the next person, but all this about Alex changing the tube at home and tubing size is getting ridiculous. Changing a tube is fairly straight forward and common practice to do at home. Length is measured prior to insertion to be sure length is correct, and a syringe is used post insertion to back pull stomach contents to ensure proper placement is achieved. As far as the diameter goes, no it’s not Alex’s call to make for a change, but with her narcissistic personality they’ll make it sound like it was her call. I’m sure a care provide was consulted, tubing size was likely discussed before discharge due to vomiting after feeds. Smaller tube gags babe less keeping more calories in the body. Feeds may take longer, but that also gives more time to absorb and keeps her more content between scheduled feeds.

[sondraK]

I don't agree w all the posts,either.but I prefer to stick to P n A,the point of the board.Ususally if I disagree,I just skip past it

[Tiger27]

Using critical thinking skills,it makes sense that a smaller feed tube would be going at a slower rate.
I agree that Alex should not have changed it w/out consulting the Dr first

The feeds are on a pump. You set them to run over a certain time frame (I.e. 20ml/h). Obviously every tube probably has a max it can run at but when you’re using a pump, you get to pick the rate, which is probably prescribed by a doctor/nutritionist and adjusted to meet Cassie’s needs....aka slower to allow her to tolerate more. And ultimately, even if her feeds are slower, she’s still on a every 3 hour schedule. So no matter how long the feeds take (and there’s no way it’s 3 hours, you start over on the three hour mark. So yeah, critical thinking is important here. Plus who knows if Alex consulted a doctor first, we only can speculate on that. I’d still put money on a supply company giving her a smaller size NG for this situation to have on hand, it’s not super easy to just buy a baby sized NG in a day.

Also to any above posters, I’m not “gatekeeping opinions” or getting off track of P&A. I’m just sharing differing viewpoints (partly based on my own actual nursing experience)....this board isn’t required to be a giant echo chamber of complete hate. I personally think these boards become less enjoyable when the conversations switch from fact based to total speculation based with off the wall theories lacking evidence to back them up. I’m all for the snark, I happily participate. But I’m also happy to jump in and play devils advocate when a board I used to enjoy starts heading off the deep end.


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[Dani_465]

No one else caught Phil saying cassie was disobedient by not wanting to take a bottle? disobedience requires a choice. She’s a BABY!

[JeasicaA71184]

Using critical thinking skills,it makes sense that a smaller feed tube would be going at a slower rate.
I agree that Alex should not have changed it w/out consulting the Dr first

The feeds are on a pump. You set them to run over a certain time frame (I.e. 20ml/h). Obviously every tube probably has a max it can run at but when you’re using a pump, you get to pick the rate, which is probably prescribed by a doctor/nutritionist and adjusted to meet Cassie’s needs....aka slower to allow her to tolerate more. And ultimately, even if her feeds are slower, she’s still on a every 3 hour schedule. So no matter how long the feeds take (and there’s no way it’s 3 hours, you start over on the three hour mark. So yeah, critical thinking is important here. Plus who knows if Alex consulted a doctor first, we only can speculate on that. I’d still put money on a supply company giving her a smaller size NG for this situation to have on hand, it’s not super easy to just buy a baby sized NG in a day.

Also to any above posters, I’m not “gatekeeping opinions” or getting off track of P&A. I’m just sharing differing viewpoints (partly based on my own actual nursing experience)....this board isn’t required to be a giant echo chamber of complete hate. I personally think these boards become less enjoyable when the conversations switch from fact based to total speculation based with off the wall theories lacking evidence to back them up. I’m all for the snark, I happily participate. But I’m also happy to jump in and play devils advocate when a board I used to enjoy starts heading off the deep end.


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If you have an issue with commenters get a moderator involved. Until that point occurs no - you really don’t get to dictate people’s opinions .

In the meantime you don’t like what someone says skip it..,many of us do it all the time

Now let’s get back on topic

[sondraK]

Did Cassidy not have her feed tube in the latest instastory? Am I seeing that right?

[Here_2_talk]

You are right... does it need to be changed out at night? I didn’t realise they were taken in and out so frequently.


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[Haulnarse]

I think its just that tiny now that you cant see it. Its on the opposite side of the camera

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[boredonthekeyboard]

Someone above mentioned that Phil seems depressed. Be honest though. Wouldn’t any of us feel depressed having a critically ill newborn baby and being trapped at home away from all of your friends if you were someone who is extremely extroverted like he is?

[Here_2_talk]

The point I was trying to make (badly I’m sure) is not shading him for his depression (if he has it) but worrying about the signs of masking. It concerns me, I don’t know. Kind of Robin Williams vibes. (Not exactly, just the masking part).

Anyways, wish him well, hope I’m wrong. If not, I hope he is willing to get help.


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[Elliecat]

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We haven’t spent our anniversary just us since we had kids, but then I have popped a new one out every 18 months so we usually have a small baby that I can’t leave with anyone.

I’m a bit disturbed by the way he presented this though. Instead of just saying “there’s a pandemic and we have a poorly newborn, so we decided not to go out just the 2 of us”, he said “normally we go away just the 2 of us, but we are so pumped to be spending this one with the kids” which just sounds like only bio baby is good enough to keep them at home.


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[In the middle]

Cassidy isn’t critically ill

[sondraK]

I think its just that tiny now that you cant see it. Its on the opposite side of the camera

Ok,Thx for that

[Kataja]

Cassidy isn’t critically ill

I would consider her critically ill as well.
Why do you think she's not?

[Here_2_talk]

No gushing post about Alex’s never ending love for Phil?!


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[Amsouthernbell]

No gushing post about Alex’s never ending love for Phil?!


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She is probably sleeping