8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Liz_444 »

Josette wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:58 pm
emma2948 wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:29 pm 1) I don't know how Ruby always manages to do this, but how in the world is she able to relate everything that her kids are doing to something about her. She's always saying stuff like, "When I was a kid, I use to do this", or "Me and my siblings loved doing that." Every once in awhile is fine, but Ruby ALWAYS does this. She really loves to talk about herself doesn't she? What a narcissist. I mean again in today's video, shes like "I remember when I used to come here with MY cousins." Like no one cares.

2) I'm honestly so shocked Kevin the absent father is actually spending time with his kids in the pool. I thought he'd be the snob and sit out this one and go sit on a sun chair or something and be on his phone. But I guess for Russell's birthday, he has to keep up his fake image of a father who's actually there for his children.

3) I agree with everyone on the whole cake issue. But I find it upsetting how when Ruby mentions its 'Shari's cake,' she praises the decoration of the cake. But when she changes her mind and says Chad's the one who made it, she acts like the biggest bitch and says "It is the worst cake ever!! I don't want a single piece." (EXACTLY HER WORDS) How much more of a mean, vicious mother can you be when one of your children take his time to make a cake for his younger brother and you STILL insult Chad, Ruby? Your honestly the worst mother I've ever seen.

4) When Russell gets really excited (at the only good gift he was given, the laser tag thing) Ruby tells him to "shut it." Timestamp: (7:10 - 7:15)
So when he's laughing like a maniac, she says nothing, but when he gets excited at the one good gift he was given, then Ruby tells him to shut up?? Wth?

5) I don't blame Julie at all for not really hugging Ruby or saying a proper goodbye to her, BUT if I was Julie, I would watch my back and at least pretend to like Ruby so that I wouldn't get kicked off to spend time in the desert. I'm really worried though that Ruby has gone back to treating Julie like absolute crap again.
Ruby's behavior makes Joan "Mommie Dearest" Crawford look good. Uber bitchy, demeaning and just plain vile. Down the road Ruby will be wondering why her adult children (Except Shari/Ruby Jr) want nothing to do with her.
Exactly! I had a mother that was a lot like Ruby and she lived alone, with no children, or grandchildren, around when she died. We didn't want anything to do with her when we became adults.

Russell got the laser tag gift from his grandparents (I think) so maybe Ruby was pissed that he seemed to enjoy (can you blame him?) this gift more than his "camping" gifts.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by CandleSand »

imoverit wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 5:55 am
CandleSand wrote: Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:00 pmIn the honor code from their school for ages 12 and older they use For the Strength of Youth (which is published by the LDS Church), one quote from the dating section says: "When I begin dating, I go with one or more additional couples, and I avoid frequent dates with the same person." -- Umm, what?! Maybe that's why she doesn't stay with the same person very long..
Yes this is something that has always bothered me so much about mormons. They want their kids to date, a bunch, the second they turn 16. They aren't allowed to date a moment before then, but at 16 they are expected and pressured to start doing it constantly. BUT, no dating the same person! They don't want boyfriends and girlfriends - just constant dating. But wait, at 18 you need to get married!!! Even though you've never had a long-term relationship before. And have kids immediately or else what's wrong with you?!?
Growing up mormon sounds stressful af to me.
Yeah, it's confusing and weird. I guess it could be hard to get pregnant if they don't have a bf/gf and date different people all the time. You're right that wouldn't help with knowing how to stay with someone for a long time. I think they might have kids so quickly in order to go to the higher level of Heaven or something? It does sound super stressful, but I think that's with anything that has so many stipulations and having to pretend you're perfect or else you could be reported to the elders. It would be EXTREMELY difficult to live through.
Happy+Charlie wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:16 am I think the guidance of date a lot of different boys/girls isn't so bad, or else you will settle on that one person, not knowing what else may have been there for you. However, the kid should be able to do it on their own time, especially if it takes years later for them to settle down. Nobody, and I emphasize, nobody, should be forced to marry before they are ready. I really think this is the issue with probably 3 of the 4 Griffith women. They were forced out and into marriage and babies before they were ready, and they all seem to want to be rid of their kids much of the time and do not know how to put their children first, it's always me, me, me that's most important. They are very stunted in their growth with their sick humor, and meanness that seems to be aimed at their children. From what I see, they treat their children like one might treat a sibling, teasing and tricking them--not something you would expect from a parent who is supposed to reassure you and always show that you are safe and secure and a top priority.
I understand not settling for the first person that shows you interest. I just think it's odd to have it dictated and something you are supposed to follow, instead of having a choice. Very true, no one should have to marry if they don't want to. I think maybe they also married so young because that's what they were supposed to do, & to get to (a higher level of) Heaven, and or because they don't want to sin by giving in to such evil, sexual urges before marriage.. I also think since the Griffith children were teased and tricked as kids, they think it's normal and don't see anything wrong with doing it to their own children.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by nesland300 »

CandleSand wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:42 pm
imoverit wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 5:55 am
CandleSand wrote: Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:00 pmIn the honor code from their school for ages 12 and older they use For the Strength of Youth (which is published by the LDS Church), one quote from the dating section says: "When I begin dating, I go with one or more additional couples, and I avoid frequent dates with the same person." -- Umm, what?! Maybe that's why she doesn't stay with the same person very long..
Yes this is something that has always bothered me so much about mormons. They want their kids to date, a bunch, the second they turn 16. They aren't allowed to date a moment before then, but at 16 they are expected and pressured to start doing it constantly. BUT, no dating the same person! They don't want boyfriends and girlfriends - just constant dating. But wait, at 18 you need to get married!!! Even though you've never had a long-term relationship before. And have kids immediately or else what's wrong with you?!?
Growing up mormon sounds stressful af to me.
Yeah, it's confusing and weird. I guess it could be hard to get pregnant if they don't have a bf/gf and date different people all the time. You're right that wouldn't help with knowing how to stay with someone for a long time. I think they might have kids so quickly in order to go to the higher level of Heaven or something? It does sound super stressful, but I think that's with anything that has so many stipulations and having to pretend you're perfect or else you could be reported to the elders. It would be EXTREMELY difficult to live through.
Happy+Charlie wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:16 am I think the guidance of date a lot of different boys/girls isn't so bad, or else you will settle on that one person, not knowing what else may have been there for you. However, the kid should be able to do it on their own time, especially if it takes years later for them to settle down. Nobody, and I emphasize, nobody, should be forced to marry before they are ready. I really think this is the issue with probably 3 of the 4 Griffith women. They were forced out and into marriage and babies before they were ready, and they all seem to want to be rid of their kids much of the time and do not know how to put their children first, it's always me, me, me that's most important. They are very stunted in their growth with their sick humor, and meanness that seems to be aimed at their children. From what I see, they treat their children like one might treat a sibling, teasing and tricking them--not something you would expect from a parent who is supposed to reassure you and always show that you are safe and secure and a top priority.
I understand not settling for the first person that shows you interest. I just think it's odd to have it dictated and something you are supposed to follow, instead of having a choice. Very true, no one should have to marry if they don't want to. I think maybe they also married so young because that's what they were supposed to do, & to get to (a higher level of) Heaven, and or because they don't want to sin by giving in to such evil, sexual urges before marriage.. I also think since the Griffith children were teased and tricked as kids, they think it's normal and don't see anything wrong with doing it to their own children.
Families being together in the Celestial Kingdom and "don't leave the church because think of all the family members that will be disappointed if they don't get to spend eternity with you" are a big part of the Mormon church's propaganda to keep members. That and having as many members as possible popping out babies as soon and as often as possible slows their decline in numbers.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by lmmomSD »

Josette wrote:
emma2948 wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:29 pm 1) I don't know how Ruby always manages to do this, but how in the world is she able to relate everything that her kids are doing to something about her. She's always saying stuff like, "When I was a kid, I use to do this", or "Me and my siblings loved doing that." Every once in awhile is fine, but Ruby ALWAYS does this. She really loves to talk about herself doesn't she? What a narcissist. I mean again in today's video, shes like "I remember when I used to come here with MY cousins." Like no one cares.

2) I'm honestly so shocked Kevin the absent father is actually spending time with his kids in the pool. I thought he'd be the snob and sit out this one and go sit on a sun chair or something and be on his phone. But I guess for Russell's birthday, he has to keep up his fake image of a father who's actually there for his children.

3) I agree with everyone on the whole cake issue. But I find it upsetting how when Ruby mentions its 'Shari's cake,' she praises the decoration of the cake. But when she changes her mind and says Chad's the one who made it, she acts like the biggest bitch and says "It is the worst cake ever!! I don't want a single piece." (EXACTLY HER WORDS) How much more of a mean, vicious mother can you be when one of your children take his time to make a cake for his younger brother and you STILL insult Chad, Ruby? Your honestly the worst mother I've ever seen.

4) When Russell gets really excited (at the only good gift he was given, the laser tag thing) Ruby tells him to "shut it." Timestamp: (7:10 - 7:15)
So when he's laughing like a maniac, she says nothing, but when he gets excited at the one good gift he was given, then Ruby tells him to shut up?? Wth?

5) I don't blame Julie at all for not really hugging Ruby or saying a proper goodbye to her, BUT if I was Julie, I would watch my back and at least pretend to like Ruby so that I wouldn't get kicked off to spend time in the desert. I'm really worried though that Ruby has gone back to treating Julie like absolute crap again.
Ruby's behavior makes Joan "Mommie Dearest" Crawford look good. Uber bitchy, demeaning and just plain vile. Down the road Ruby will be wondering why her adult children (Except Shari/Ruby Jr) want nothing to do with her.
No more wire hangers!

Did Ruby actually say that she wasn't sure if it was worth the effort to get her kids to hug her? Wow. My daughter is almost 26, and my son will be 24 in November. I never have to "get them" to hug me. They actually want to. My son never even went through the stage of not wanting me to hug him in public. I drove past my daughter waiting at a bus stop with her class once, and when she saw me, she yelled "Hi mom, I love you!". And I'm not saying these things to show off what an amazing mom _I_ am. Just saying that it's not normal to have 6 kids have it be questionable whether or not it's "worth the effort to get them to hug" you.
Their whole family is so f*cked up. And I just don't understand how anyone can look up to them in any way, but especially as mothers.

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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Josette »

lmmomSD wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:20 pm
Josette wrote:
emma2948 wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:29 pm 1) I don't know how Ruby always manages to do this, but how in the world is she able to relate everything that her kids are doing to something about her. She's always saying stuff like, "When I was a kid, I use to do this", or "Me and my siblings loved doing that." Every once in awhile is fine, but Ruby ALWAYS does this. She really loves to talk about herself doesn't she? What a narcissist. I mean again in today's video, shes like "I remember when I used to come here with MY cousins." Like no one cares.

2) I'm honestly so shocked Kevin the absent father is actually spending time with his kids in the pool. I thought he'd be the snob and sit out this one and go sit on a sun chair or something and be on his phone. But I guess for Russell's birthday, he has to keep up his fake image of a father who's actually there for his children.

3) I agree with everyone on the whole cake issue. But I find it upsetting how when Ruby mentions its 'Shari's cake,' she praises the decoration of the cake. But when she changes her mind and says Chad's the one who made it, she acts like the biggest bitch and says "It is the worst cake ever!! I don't want a single piece." (EXACTLY HER WORDS) How much more of a mean, vicious mother can you be when one of your children take his time to make a cake for his younger brother and you STILL insult Chad, Ruby? Your honestly the worst mother I've ever seen.

4) When Russell gets really excited (at the only good gift he was given, the laser tag thing) Ruby tells him to "shut it." Timestamp: (7:10 - 7:15)
So when he's laughing like a maniac, she says nothing, but when he gets excited at the one good gift he was given, then Ruby tells him to shut up?? Wth?

5) I don't blame Julie at all for not really hugging Ruby or saying a proper goodbye to her, BUT if I was Julie, I would watch my back and at least pretend to like Ruby so that I wouldn't get kicked off to spend time in the desert. I'm really worried though that Ruby has gone back to treating Julie like absolute crap again.
Ruby's behavior makes Joan "Mommie Dearest" Crawford look good. Uber bitchy, demeaning and just plain vile. Down the road Ruby will be wondering why her adult children (Except Shari/Ruby Jr) want nothing to do with her.
No more wire hangers!

Did Ruby actually say that she wasn't sure if it was worth the effort to get her kids to hug her? Wow. My daughter is almost 26, and my son will be 24 in November. I never have to "get them" to hug me. They actually want to. My son never even went through the stage of not wanting me to hug him in public. I drove past my daughter waiting at a bus stop with her class once, and when she saw me, she yelled "Hi mom, I love you!". And I'm not saying these things to show off what an amazing mom _I_ am. Just saying that it's not normal to have 6 kids have it be questionable whether or not it's "worth the effort to get them to hug" you.
Their whole family is so f*cked up. And I just don't understand how anyone can look up to them in any way, but especially as mothers.

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My son was quite the hugger (giving & receiving) until he was around 11-12 years old. From then on hugging was only on special occasions such as celebrating a birthday or other similar event. It's remained that way throughout the years (he'll be 40 next month) and the last hug I got from him was on his wedding day. However, this has never bothered me because I grew up in a non-physical/verbal affection home. We knew we were loved, but hugging and saying stuff like "I love you" were rare, so it was an big adjustment for me when I had my son and as he grew older I realized he was a hugger.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Happy+Charlie »

lmmomSD wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:20 pm
Josette wrote:
emma2948 wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 3:29 pm 1) I don't know how Ruby always manages to do this, but how in the world is she able to relate everything that her kids are doing to something about her. She's always saying stuff like, "When I was a kid, I use to do this", or "Me and my siblings loved doing that." Every once in awhile is fine, but Ruby ALWAYS does this. She really loves to talk about herself doesn't she? What a narcissist. I mean again in today's video, shes like "I remember when I used to come here with MY cousins." Like no one cares.

2) I'm honestly so shocked Kevin the absent father is actually spending time with his kids in the pool. I thought he'd be the snob and sit out this one and go sit on a sun chair or something and be on his phone. But I guess for Russell's birthday, he has to keep up his fake image of a father who's actually there for his children.

3) I agree with everyone on the whole cake issue. But I find it upsetting how when Ruby mentions its 'Shari's cake,' she praises the decoration of the cake. But when she changes her mind and says Chad's the one who made it, she acts like the biggest bitch and says "It is the worst cake ever!! I don't want a single piece." (EXACTLY HER WORDS) How much more of a mean, vicious mother can you be when one of your children take his time to make a cake for his younger brother and you STILL insult Chad, Ruby? Your honestly the worst mother I've ever seen.

4) When Russell gets really excited (at the only good gift he was given, the laser tag thing) Ruby tells him to "shut it." Timestamp: (7:10 - 7:15)
So when he's laughing like a maniac, she says nothing, but when he gets excited at the one good gift he was given, then Ruby tells him to shut up?? Wth?

5) I don't blame Julie at all for not really hugging Ruby or saying a proper goodbye to her, BUT if I was Julie, I would watch my back and at least pretend to like Ruby so that I wouldn't get kicked off to spend time in the desert. I'm really worried though that Ruby has gone back to treating Julie like absolute crap again.
Ruby's behavior makes Joan "Mommie Dearest" Crawford look good. Uber bitchy, demeaning and just plain vile. Down the road Ruby will be wondering why her adult children (Except Shari/Ruby Jr) want nothing to do with her.
No more wire hangers!

Did Ruby actually say that she wasn't sure if it was worth the effort to get her kids to hug her? Wow. My daughter is almost 26, and my son will be 24 in November. I never have to "get them" to hug me. They actually want to. My son never even went through the stage of not wanting me to hug him in public. I drove past my daughter waiting at a bus stop with her class once, and when she saw me, she yelled "Hi mom, I love you!". And I'm not saying these things to show off what an amazing mom _I_ am. Just saying that it's not normal to have 6 kids have it be questionable whether or not it's "worth the effort to get them to hug" you.
Their whole family is so f*cked up. And I just don't understand how anyone can look up to them in any way, but especially as mothers.

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Of my 3 children I have two boys that are huggers and say I love you, randomly and frequently and a daughter who we joke about only given a hug or affection out twice a year. Knowing how my daughter is it never prevents me from stealing a hug from her and I would never ever feel it's not worth it, even when she does not reciprocate. She is this way with everyone else too. I have no doubt in my mind where I stand with each of my children, even my daughter, and it's a good place. It is sad, and Ruby's doings that she has to question whether it is worth it. What a piss poor mother she is. The kids have no problem hugging Kevin, and they seem affectionate towards each other, always putting arms around each other for a pic, etc. Ruby is clearly as cold as she is portrayed in the vlogs. Also, she has even said she didn't have empathy for others, I imagine that also includes no empathy for her children or affection and we can see it.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Josette »

One thing I'd like to point out is that when I had my son, and later when my sister had her daughter, we were determined to give them something we had been denied growing up. Body autonomy. We weren't allowed to refuse when a grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, close family friend, etc. wanted a hug or kiss (or both).

It was always stuff like, "You need to give Aunt May a hug so you don't hurt her feelings", and similar crap. Both my sister & I hated being forced to be affectionate to a relative, especially if it was one we really disliked.

When he was a toddler, my son didn't like my dad's girlfriend and would pull away if she tried to hug him. My dad tried to convince me that, "One hug won't hurt", but I reminded him of how much I hated being forced to give relatives hugs when I was growing up and I wasn't about to do the same to my kid. He was upset with me and kind of distant for awhile before bringing up the subject again, but I stood my ground and told him so.

And while my son was a hugger in his early years, I taught him early on that you didn't run up to a stranger and give them a hug and that you always asked & received permission before hugging a friend or family member.

Sadly I doubt Ruby' & Kevin's children are allowed their own body autonomy. In fact, I'd be really surprised if anyone in Griffith Gals clan allows it with their kids, but then again, they probably weren't allowed body autonomy themselves growing up.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by MiloandMax1 »

Ducklings4 wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 10:57 am
rulatows000 wrote:They got Russell a sleeping bag and hiking backpack for his birthday? The laser tag thing was pretty cool but it's something that's more for the whole family. Where are all the toys, though? Russell's a nine year old boy, where's the legos and nerf guns and marbles, etc? If they're all going on a camping trip why not just buy him what he needs without making it a birthday present? It's the same as with Abby where they got her bath towels - a necessity - and made it into a gift just because her birthday happened to be close by. Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a weird present for a little boy - camping/hiking stuff that he'll probably only use like once a year.

And, yeah, what's up with that Instagram story Shari posted? Russell is doing his crazy laugh and rolling around on the floor and Shari says it happens every single night. I know other people on here have posted about being annoyed by his laughter and I never thought much about it, but now it is just getting kind of ridiculous. The forced crazy laugh and rolling on the floor - that doesn't seem like normal behavior for a 9 nine year old boy. Does he do that at school and when he's with his friends? He shouldn't necessarily be punished for it, but at that age he's old enough where a gentle reprimand should be given if he's getting really out of control like that.
I have not watched their vlog, but when you said they got Russell a sleeping bag and hiking boots, I thought oh are they sending him to the desert next?
I think he got a target as well. Notice they didn't show what was in that one wrapped present, looked like a bb gun.

The sleeping bag I think he may have asked for. Its for the father/son trip maybe and he seemed excited. So I can understand making it a gift.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Kattiness Everdeen »

I was raised in a house without any affection. These kids aren't. As much crap as we all talk about Kevin, he provides them with genuine affection. He may be the only thing keeping these kids from developing some of the "sociopathic" traits we see in the older Griffiths generations. Julie was specifically refusing Ruby a hug for the vlog, and I don't blame her. Ruby shows them no genuine affection, and is likely incapable of it at all, based on probable personality disorders.

Seeing the Griffiths kids manhandled in old videos, and Griffiths girls talking about their sexual abuse, I have to assume there is little body autonomy taught in the house. Ruby has zero idea of what is appropriate behavior with a sexual partner vs. a child (eg. repeatedly kissing a child on the neck then slowly running their ear through her teeth). It is like she has learned one routine for showing affection to someone, and when she thinks it is required of her (i.e. to keep her husband happy or to show viewers she is "a good mom"), she just runs on autopilot. The fact that the "routine" for affection is very sexual and predatory is troubling (not to mention the need to learn a routine to mimic affection at all). Asking her kid to nap with her so she could "take advantage of them" was pretty damn creepy too.

Unsurprisingly, her own kids show similar issues with appropriate affection and boundaries. I came across an old video when Eve was a toddler and scared away Chad's friend because she wouldn't stop climbing into his lap and kissing him. She said she thought he was her boyfriend, which is weird because nobody in the extended family was dating age. Where did she learn this expectation?

Shari used to have a lot of trouble with boundaries too, smacking Chad on the butt after telling him how cute it is, or all the slow dancing and kissing they used to do. Those are just things siblings don't do in polite society. I think Shari probably learned the hard way through YT comments that her mother's behavior is inappropriate outside her creepy family, as she has finally stopped talking about how hot her brother is, or how she wants to date him, and generally keeps her hands and lips off of him now. Yet, I don't think we saw any physical affection at all with her "boyfriends". I just hope Kevin is showing the kids enough appropriate affection off-cam too, to keep the others out of trouble. Julie refusing the unearned/unwanted hug is a good sign.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by lmmomSD »

I agree 100% with the comments about body autonomy, and props to all of you for knowing which of your kids are huggers and which aren't, and respecting it. My family is very affectionate, but my son is on the spectrum, so I appreciate the fact that he feels so comfortable hugging me. And my daughter definitely knows how to set boundaries with physical affection. I agree that none of Ruby's kids should ever feel obligated to give her or anyone else physical affection. I may have expressed it badly-- I think it's awful that she feels the need to force hugs from them, but at the same time wonders if it's "worth the effort". Maybe if she put the effort into being a truly loving mother, her kids might feel affectionate towards her, and she wouldn't have to wonder if it was worth it.
Yes, she grew up in dysfunction, but YT has given her a chance to travel and meet different people and even get some criticism of the way she parents. Even just spending time with some of the other YT moms who are a little better at showing affection (although most of them have other issues as well) could have taught her something. But instead of taking a critical look at herself, she got all defensive and pretended it was all just hate from "triggered tweens".

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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Josette »

Kattiness Everdeen wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 11:10 pm I was raised in a house without any affection. These kids aren't. As much crap as we all talk about Kevin, he provides them with genuine affection. He may be the only thing keeping these kids from developing some of the "sociopathic" traits we see in the older Griffiths generations. Julie was specifically refusing Ruby a hug for the vlog, and I don't blame her. Ruby shows them no genuine affection, and is likely incapable of it at all, based on probable personality disorders.

Seeing the Griffiths kids manhandled in old videos, and Griffiths girls talking about their sexual abuse, I have to assume there is little body autonomy taught in the house. Ruby has zero idea of what is appropriate behavior with a sexual partner vs. a child (eg. repeatedly kissing a child on the neck then slowly running their ear through her teeth). It is like she has learned one routine for showing affection to someone, and when she thinks it is required of her (i.e. to keep her husband happy or to show viewers she is "a good mom"), she just runs on autopilot. The fact that the "routine" for affection is very sexual and predatory is troubling (not to mention the need to learn a routine to mimic affection at all). Asking her kid to nap with her so she could "take advantage of them" was pretty damn creepy too.

Unsurprisingly, her own kids show similar issues with appropriate affection and boundaries. I came across an old video when Eve was a toddler and scared away Chad's friend because she wouldn't stop climbing into his lap and kissing him. She said she thought he was her boyfriend, which is weird because nobody in the extended family was dating age. Where did she learn this expectation?

Shari used to have a lot of trouble with boundaries too, smacking Chad on the butt after telling him how cute it is, or all the slow dancing and kissing they used to do. Those are just things siblings don't do in polite society. I think Shari probably learned the hard way through YT comments that her mother's behavior is inappropriate outside her creepy family, as she has finally stopped talking about how hot her brother is, or how she wants to date him, and generally keeps her hands and lips off of him now. Yet, I don't think we saw any physical affection at all with her "boyfriends". I just hope Kevin is showing the kids enough appropriate affection off-cam too, to keep the others out of trouble. Julie refusing the unearned/unwanted hug is a good sign.
I was horrified when I saw Ruby kissing Russell on the neck repeatedly, but my jaw dropped to the floor when she did the ear nibble. It's was all so freakin' creepy and inappropriate, but I've also noticed that the Griffith Gals seems to be awfully fond of kissing their young male children on the mouth. Am I the only one that has issues with that?
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Kataja »

What if Chad didn't have birthday vlog because he refused to be used as a content?
Do you think he could fight Ruby in this matter or do you think it was Ruby's choice in the end not to have the birthday vlog just to show him that he isn't as good as other kids/narcissist scapegoating?

I think Chad is pretty strong willed so I think if he didn't want a birthday vlog, he could fight it.
The question is, was he offered the option?!
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Kattiness Everdeen »

lmmomSD wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 11:39 pm I agree 100% with the comments about body autonomy, and props to all of you for knowing which of your kids are huggers and which aren't, and respecting it. My family is very affectionate, but my son is on the spectrum, so I appreciate the fact that he feels so comfortable hugging me. And my daughter definitely knows how to set boundaries with physical affection. I agree that none of Ruby's kids should ever feel obligated to give her or anyone else physical affection. I may have expressed it badly-- I think it's awful that she feels the need to force hugs from them, but at the same time wonders if it's "worth the effort". Maybe if she put the effort into being a truly loving mother, her kids might feel affectionate towards her, and she wouldn't have to wonder if it was worth it.
Yes, she grew up in dysfunction, but YT has given her a chance to travel and meet different people and even get some criticism of the way she parents. Even just spending time with some of the other YT moms who are a little better at showing affection (although most of them have other issues as well) could have taught her something. But instead of taking a critical look at herself, she got all defensive and pretended it was all just hate from "triggered tweens".

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Unfortunately genuine affection or empathy isn't usually something you can learn as an adult. You can only mimic it. But if you try to introduce it to teenaged kids, especially in an inauthentic way, they are going to know that and reject it (like Julie). Ruby really should take some parenting tips though. You CAN learn how to feed your kids or give them a place to sleep. If she won't, CPS can help.

ETA: My father is also on the spectrum and he was essentially just a mysterious roommate growing up. It is great that you have an affectionate relationship with your son, I imagine that foundation helps him immensely as an adult.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by Kattiness Everdeen »

Kataja wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 12:36 am What if Chad didn't have birthday vlog because he refused to be used as a content?
Do you think he could fight Ruby in this matter or do you think it was Ruby's choice in the end not to have the birthday vlog just to show him that he isn't as good as other kids/narcissist scapegoating?

I think Chad is pretty strong willed so I think if he didn't want a birthday vlog, he could fight it.
The question is, was he offered the option?!
I think this is a likely option. On my tour of old videos, it was crystal clear that Chad had only been given access to tech in order to make content and money. He didn't keep up his end of the (literal) contract and it all quickly went away. A kid like Chad has plenty of reasons and will to refuse to be continued to be used. That being said, Ruby is so volatile and cruel she just as easily could have made it an extension of his life-long punishment for refusing to be a tool of her narcissistic will.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by ba1006 »

Happy+Charlie wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 8:41 pm
lmmomSD wrote: Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:20 pm
Josette wrote:
Ruby's behavior makes Joan "Mommie Dearest" Crawford look good. Uber bitchy, demeaning and just plain vile. Down the road Ruby will be wondering why her adult children (Except Shari/Ruby Jr) want nothing to do with her.
No more wire hangers!

Did Ruby actually say that she wasn't sure if it was worth the effort to get her kids to hug her? Wow. My daughter is almost 26, and my son will be 24 in November. I never have to "get them" to hug me. They actually want to. My son never even went through the stage of not wanting me to hug him in public. I drove past my daughter waiting at a bus stop with her class once, and when she saw me, she yelled "Hi mom, I love you!". And I'm not saying these things to show off what an amazing mom _I_ am. Just saying that it's not normal to have 6 kids have it be questionable whether or not it's "worth the effort to get them to hug" you.
Their whole family is so f*cked up. And I just don't understand how anyone can look up to them in any way, but especially as mothers.

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Of my 3 children I have two boys that are huggers and say I love you, randomly and frequently and a daughter who we joke about only given a hug or affection out twice a year. Knowing how my daughter is it never prevents me from stealing a hug from her and I would never ever feel it's not worth it, even when she does not reciprocate. She is this way with everyone else too. I have no doubt in my mind where I stand with each of my children, even my daughter, and it's a good place. It is sad, and Ruby's doings that she has to question whether it is worth it. What a piss poor mother she is. The kids have no problem hugging Kevin, and they seem affectionate towards each other, always putting arms around each other for a pic, etc. Ruby is clearly as cold as she is portrayed in the vlogs. Also, she has even said she didn't have empathy for others, I imagine that also includes no empathy for her children or affection and we can see it.
It's funny because I have 2 daughters and 1 son. My girls hug me but that's about it. My son will hug me tight, kiss me on the cheek and tell me he loves me every time he sees me or talks to me on the phone. They were all raised the same way so maybe it's just their personality? I'm not sure but I don't force it and just accept that they are all different in their own way. Could it be that boys are just needier? I don't know.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by imoverit »

All this talk about bodily autonomy and inappropriate affection between family members is just making me think of Bonnie making Tommy kiss her on the lips in a recent video... Like, at that age I would've kissed my mom on the lips (sounds weird to me now because it's been so long lol) but certainly not an aunt. And she made him do it so she'd buy him a treat as far as I remember. Just weird stuff. Especially with the mouth herpes running rampant in that family.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by lmmomSD »

The only thing that makes me question whether or not Chad refuses to be used for content is that Ruby has loaned him out to her sisters for views.
Although maybe he agrees to that because it gets him away from her...

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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by sheltiefan »

Well looks like Ruby is going to home school the kids-this should be very interesting! lol Hope Ruby does better with this than the virtual learning last semester! She didn't know that Eve was staying for the whole class, didn't know that Abby had a D in her math class, etc. As Ruby said, her Ruby Do office will be her schoolhouse! :D :D

Chad may have said no on the birthday vlog, but I kind of doubt Ruby would give him the option if she wanted one. Plus as we now know, his birthday was during the punishment time period
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by boychik0830 »

I guess everyone is allowed to have electronics again as Eve and Shari were watching COCO in a instagram story. I thought no one was allowed to have access to electronics and the tv remote for the whole summer unless ruby changed her mind about banning electronics for everyone.
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Re: 8 Passengers: Emotional Abuse Galore & Making Kids Sleep on The Floor | Part 17

Unread post by emma2948 »

sheltiefan wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 11:42 am Well looks like Ruby is going to home school the kids-this should be very interesting! lol Hope Ruby does better with this than the virtual learning last semester! She didn't know that Eve was staying for the whole class, didn't know that Abby had a D in her math class, etc. As Ruby said, her Ruby Do office will be her schoolhouse! :D :D

Chad may have said no on the birthday vlog, but I kind of doubt Ruby would give him the option if she wanted one. Plus as we now know, his birthday was during the punishment time period
Came here to mention this, on Ruby's insta stories, she makes it pretty clear that she's gonna be homeschooling the kids (in which case, they are all screwed, we know how absent Ruby is about her children's education). But I'm just wondering whether or not she even gave her kids the choice of going to a regular public school vs doing homeschooling (if they really can't afford private school this year). Honestly, I'm guessing Ruby didn't really give them a choice, especially considering how much the kids would hate having to spend that much time with her at home. Also, didn't Shari say in one of the older school quarantine vlogs that she wasn't a fan of online school (at home) How is Ruby gonna keep Shari at home (for her senior year for goodness sake) if we know Shari is the only one Ruby listens to?
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