discretechristine wrote: ↑Sat Aug 01, 2020 11:20 am
spicy_dreams wrote: discretechristine wrote: ↑Fri Jul 31, 2020 7:49 am
Oh my god Trashy needs to give it a rest. She’s literally friends with her dad on Facebook.
Nice show Trashy, hating on your dad.
Pretty sure this is him at least... Could be an uncle idk
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I mean that doesn't necessarily mean an anything. You could have the worst relationship possible with a parent and still be FB friends with them, it's a complicated situation. FB friends or not, it's not proof of anything.
I understand that everyone has different relationships with different family members. But this is a Trashy hate page not a, “praise Rachelle” page or “pardon Rachelle for some specific things” page. But saying this I’m not demining anyone else’s personal relationship with their family I’m just speculating about Trashy.
That being said, everyone is different. Why would you be friends with your dad on Facebook if he caused so much “issues, trauma and bad experiences.” I have family members like that in my life, I don’t have them on Facebook and I sure as hell don’t send them pictures of my baby. She says one second “he’s in Oregon” and then in the same breath says “I literally don’t know where he is.” Like which is is? And I think they whole thing about different numbers was a little bit of a stretch, you can easily contact people through Facebook. The whole situation feels like a stretch to me! A show for the camera! But that’s just me, I think she’s totally playing up there relationship for the camera. But it’s okay if you disagree. And it’s okay if you have different terms with your family members if you have a similar situation to her.
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I'm not praising Rachelle I'm just pointing out that you can have a shit relationship with someone and still be fb friends. It literally means nothing. There could be any number of reasons why somebody is or isn't fb friends, it just isn't an indication or proof of anything at all. You don't have to like Rachelle to say that lol, I'm not trying to defend her I'm just saying something that I thought was an obvious point. It's a bit much to assume ANYTHING
just based off the fact that she's fb friends with him.
(This paragraph is about me mostly, so skip it if you wanna) I have very complicated relationships with both my parents. My dad disappeared for 10 years and would call me every few months from different places around the country, I was very sad about it and didn't try to contact him much myself because it was unlikely to improve the situation. I just kept hoping he'd decide he wanted me in his life after all. It felt like I BARELY had a father and there was lots of resentment but I was still fb friends with him. My mum abused and neglected me and I still have a very difficult relationship with her and even had to move away to get some space between us. I'm still fb friends with her. I have to have a million boundaries but I don't want to cut her of entirely, that'd actually make things worse. And if I defriended her she'd implode and be so afraid of looking bad (narcissist) she'd probably bully me into friending her again. It's incredibly complicated and if I tried to explain it we'd be here a while. It's just easier for me emotionally if I hold boundaries without cutting her out entirely. Who I am and am not fb friends with just doesn't matter as much as trying not to rock the boat.
Lots of children to narcissistic parents feel the same way, you learn from a young age not to rock the boat. It's less emotionally exhausting and prevents you from being punished, and the punishment can come in many different forms. Not saying Rach's dad is a narcissist necessarily but it's possible. He could just have traits, too. But that'd make it hard for her to defriend him even if she wants to, maybe she just doesn't care that they're fb friends, who knows.
And let's not forget he's her dad after all, maybe she loves him even if there are huge problems. I know I still love my parents despite them being responsible for massive amounts of stress and heartbreak. That's the problem in these situations, they can put you through hell but they're still your parents and there's almost always going to be a kind of love you feel for them. It's not like any other relationship. Most of the time, that love doesn't just go away when the relationship breaks down, it can shift and change but doesn't just evaporate. Not in every case obviously, but I'd say that's probably the norm.
As you said, everybody is different. Just because you aren't FB friends with problematic family members, doesn't mean everybody else should be doing the same. We don't know her situation really, and we can't trust what she's said is the whole truth, obviously. She could be lying for any number of reasons, good or not. It's complicated. It's definitely not as simple as "oh she's fb friends with him clearly she's lying about having a bad relationship".
And also just to say, she didn't say she couldn't contact him because he's always changing numbers, she just said it always takes her by surprise when he calls because she doesn't save his number, due to the fact he's always changing it.
You can also know which state somebody is in without knowing where they are in that state.
Again, I'm not defending her and I definitely don't like her. I'm just stating (what I thought) was obvious. If you're going to snark on her there's plenty of perfectly valid things to hold against her, there's no need to twist things or take innocuous things to use as "proof" she's lying. If we do that too much it just invalidates the rest of the perfectly good points we have as to why she's problematic and makes the whole thread look bad. Sorry if that sounds argumentative I'm not trying to do that, just trying to stick to the facts.
PS. I'm def not here to love on her lmao, I was the first person to point out that Rachelle is being stupid for using this as click bait and going so far as to mislead people with her title, insinuating she hasn't heard from him in 16 years and then going on to say he calls her every 6 months.