Phil and Alex: Struggling With Maternity After Laboring For Eternity | Part 10

[saltybitters]

I think Alex has some type of disorder with food . I mean look at how she is with the girls . She gives them “treats” here and there . Nothing wrong with not wanting to have your child hopped up on sugar all the time ,but I wonder if she is this way with Cassidy how is she with the other two girls .


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Alex absolutely has an unhealthy relationship with food that is independent from how she's treating Cassidy. I get not wanting your kids to be all sugar all the time, but she was so aggressively restrictive with Kinsley and Callie's diets before she got pregnant that Phil's mom got in trouble for giving them watered down hot chocolate once. K & C don't have any special dietary needs as far as I know, considering Alex slackened off a lot while pregnant and they seemed fine, so that level of overreaction is just unnecessary. Let kids be kids, damn it.

For what it's worth, I don't think Alex "wants" to kill Cassidy, but that's going to be the outcome if she doesn't get down off her high horse and start actually feeding her baby and get her to gain weight. If Cassidy doesn't die from failure to thrive, she may very well die from the complications of trying to operate on a FTT baby. Alex is certainly prioritizing herself over the wellbeing of her baby, as she has always done, and the outcome for doing so with Cassidy may end up being very, very grim.

[RiverRose]

I’m a little behind. Do we know when Cassidy is having her surgery?

[boredonthekeyboard]

Can someone explain the pacifier to me? If sucking is “making her run a marathon,” why is she wasting energy on a pacifier where she is getting no calories in return?

Does this child ever do anything? Tummy time? Play with a toy she can smack/kick? She is always just plopped down somewhere with that stupid pacifier in her mouth.

[Dani_465]

Well her overnight feeding so her ass doesn’t have to feed her baby a bottle or boob backfired! Poor Cassie, she has suckie parents and an bonnet that’s way too big. It doesn’t even go with that boring outfit. I guess stupid hasn’t discovered waterproof liners that go over the sheet.

Annnnnd how long is a turn feeding? That she couldn’t have made sure that everything was ok. She knows cassie can pull out her tube. Maybe the dumbass needs to get a sleep sack so cassie doesn’t rip her tube out at night.

[Dani_465]

Can someone explain the pacifier to me? If sucking is “making her run a marathon,” why is she wasting energy on a pacifier where she is getting no calories in return?

Does this child ever do anything? Tummy time? Play with a toy she can smack/kick? She is always just plopped down somewhere with that stupid pacifier in her mouth.

I don’t get them either. But I’m not a mom. With Cassie using too much energy eating (sucking on a boob or bottle) is too much. Why is a paci ok? Did Alex even ask?

[Elliecat]

Can someone explain the pacifier to me? If sucking is “making her run a marathon,” why is she wasting energy on a pacifier where she is getting no calories in return?

Does this child ever do anything? Tummy time? Play with a toy she can smack/kick? She is always just plopped down somewhere with that stupid pacifier in her mouth.

This!!!!!

The only positive I can say is that the NICU sometimes recommends a dummy for premature babies to help develop their suck. They call them “non nutritive tools”. They gave my son one (but he spat it out until they stopped )
My gripe is that a dummy can mask feeding cues. Those who use dummies and breastfeed... I know it can work... but if your baby isn’t breastfeeding well, one of the first things an IBCLC will recommend is not using a dummy.


Alex should know this.

I’m constantly shocked by Alex’s lack of newborn knowledge, given her previous career.


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[Here_2_talk]

Okay, help me out here... isn’t this super dangerous? Leaving a child unattended (Alex was asleep!) whilst she’s being fed on an NG tube? She could have drowned in formula, right?! She could have partially removed the feeding tube and it could have gotten into her lungs?
It certainly doesn’t sound like Alex is paying appropriate attention to Cassidy’s safety


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[Elliecat]

Okay, help me out here... isn’t this super dangerous? Leaving a child unattended (Alex was asleep!) whilst she’s being fed on an NG tube? She could have drowned in formula, right?! She could have partially removed the feeding tube and it could have gotten into her lungs?
It certainly doesn’t sound like Alex is paying appropriate attention to Cassidy’s safety


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I’m worried about the sleep nest. Her sleeping arrangements for Cassidy are all kinds of unsafe. This is a car crash waiting to happen.


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[GGF1987]

I’m a little behind. Do we know when Cassidy is having her surgery?

No, it hasn't been scheduled yet most likely and it won't be until she's consistently gaining the weight they need her to. She needs to be bigger and stronger.

[isthisnormal]

Okay, help me out here... isn’t this super dangerous? Leaving a child unattended (Alex was asleep!) whilst she’s being fed on an NG tube? She could have drowned in formula, right?! She could have partially removed the feeding tube and it could have gotten into her lungs?
It certainly doesn’t sound like Alex is paying appropriate attention to Cassidy’s safety


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This is outrageous! A visual of a bottle prop with a sleeping parent comes to mind. I can not believe that A) this happened B) she thinks its cute and wants to tell everyone about it.

[Lauratheaussie]

Absolutely shocking what she is doing to Cassidy. Why would you leave a baby unattended with a feeding tube? It could even tangle around her neck. At this age I was up every 1-2 hours with my boy and all she seems to do is complain about sleep or sleeping when she should be feeding her baby. Also does she dress her in terrible outfits or is it just me thinking that? Never see her in a bonds onsie or any kind of onesie.

[Tiredofspoiledbrats]

For someone who is constantly saying how Cassidy is always throwing up a bunch and has bad reflux WHY ARE THEY LAYING HER FLAT WHILE SHE EATS?! I do not understand her thought process regarding anything to do with feeding this poor baby. And to have her laying down getting her feeding while Alex sleeps! I can’t even believe her, you can’t just sit up awake in your bed for a little bit to supervise this feeding?! Why don’t you hold her while she feeds you know since she did that whole rant about how Cassidy wouldn’t be able to appropriately bond? I guess that doesn’t matter if she could be getting her much needed sleep instead

[JeasicaA71184]

For someone who is constantly saying how Cassidy is always throwing up a bunch and has bad reflux WHY ARE THEY LAYING HER FLAT WHILE SHE EATS?! I do not understand her thought process regarding anything to do with feeding this poor baby. And to have her laying down getting her feeding while Alex sleeps! I can’t even believe her, you can’t just sit up awake in your bed for a little bit to supervise this feeding?! Why don’t you hold her while she feeds you know since she did that whole rant about how Cassidy wouldn’t be able to appropriately bond? I guess that doesn’t matter if she could be getting her much needed sleep instead

How do any of us know she was a nicu nurse? Feeding any baby while laying down is a huge nono- unless you want war infects -
And reflux. Seems like common sense.

[IVFwarrior]

So hypocritical and lazy.

A month ago Alex was harping on about how breastfeeding was magic because the distance between the baby's face and mums face is the perfect eye-focus difference. Which incidentally, is EXACTLY the same for bottlefeeding.

But now at night she sets up the pump and goes back to sleep, leaving Cassidy to lie there being tube fed all alone in the dark, having the milk spill all over her for an hour because no one is actually holding her, feeding her, cuddling her....

How sad.

Alex is literally treating her the same way she must have treated all the babies in the NICU when she worked there - totally clinical, no compassion.

[Dani_465]

For someone who is constantly saying how Cassidy is always throwing up a bunch and has bad reflux WHY ARE THEY LAYING HER FLAT WHILE SHE EATS?! I do not understand her thought process regarding anything to do with feeding this poor baby. And to have her laying down getting her feeding while Alex sleeps! I can’t even believe her, you can’t just sit up awake in your bed for a little bit to supervise this feeding?! Why don’t you hold her while she feeds you know since she did that whole rant about how Cassidy wouldn’t be able to appropriately bond? I guess that doesn’t matter if she could be getting her much needed sleep instead

How do any of us know she was a nicu nurse? Feeding any baby while laying down is a huge nono- unless you want war infects -
And reflux. Seems like common sense.

I was convinced Alex lied about being a RN since she is under educated about EVERYTHING, I thought maybe she was a CNA or something lol. I looked her up, she is truly a RN. Ive said it before... even the nurses who barely pass their boards are nurses. Gee I wonder how Alex did on her boards. And how many times she had to take them to pass.

[IVFwarrior]

I’m a little behind. Do we know when Cassidy is having her surgery?

No, it hasn't been scheduled yet most likely and it won't be until she's consistently gaining the weight they need her to. She needs to be bigger and stronger.

Actually, the surgery will get scheduled most likely based on cardiac indications. If she's still only 10lbs but needs the surgery at 4 months, that's what will have to happen. Her risk of mortality and morbidity will be higher because of her growth failure.

[Dani_465]

Okay, help me out here... isn’t this super dangerous? Leaving a child unattended (Alex was asleep!) whilst she’s being fed on an NG tube? She could have drowned in formula, right?! She could have partially removed the feeding tube and it could have gotten into her lungs?
It certainly doesn’t sound like Alex is paying appropriate attention to Cassidy’s safety


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I thought the same thing. Then I thought hmmm it’s a tiny tube, how fast could it spill out and be dangerous? Then I was like could it have poked cassie in the eye? All the while Alex sleeps. Well I guess if it poked Cassie in the eye cassie would have screamed.

[Haulnarse]

The way she has it taped is asking for it to be ripped out. It should really go across her face towards her ear and be taped. Not down towards her chin.

[Dani_465]

One thing I did wonder... in one of Alex’s IG stories she mentioned how runny/watery her breast milk was in the morning. And how that is normal. Is it normal?

[GGF1987]

I’m a little behind. Do we know when Cassidy is having her surgery?

No, it hasn't been scheduled yet most likely and it won't be until she's consistently gaining the weight they need her to. She needs to be bigger and stronger.

Actually, the surgery will get scheduled most likely based on cardiac indications. If she's still only 10lbs but needs the surgery at 4 months, that's what will have to happen. Her risk of mortality and morbidity will be higher because of her growth failure.

Yes if her heart gets lots worse they will(hence why I said most likely won't be). But I know with my friend's son as long as his heart was fairly stable, they didn't want to do his surgery until he was a certain size. It's a balancing act because doing surgery on a baby that isn't thriving and growing well adds a significant amount of risk. I should've been more clear.