Phil and Alex: Struggling With Maternity After Laboring For Eternity | Part 10

[HashtagBlessed]

Their baby would not be here without IVF. Furthermore, a baby with that CHD would not survive to adulthood without modern medicine. So at what point will Phil and Alex admit, "You know, the natural route isn't going to work, she needs a special formula."
If they were still waiting for their bodies to do what they are "supposed" to do and let nature take its course, they would not have a biological child. But for whatever reason, Alex can't come to terms with the fact that her breast milk is not going to cut it. Again, if they wanted to rely on what is "natural," they would effectively be sterile as a couple. Medically assisted reproduction was fine to get their baby here, but now for some reason doctors are stupid and formula is the devil? Also, painful and controversial procedure with a questionable success rate is an acceptable form of medical intervention if it gives Alex hope that she will get her "normal" breastfeeding experience. But she fought an NG tube and gives her baby the smallest possible amount of fortification and can't be bothered to get a scale. Has it not dawned on them how completely insane they look?

[Haulnarse]

Im sorry but tube fed babies still need to be burped so an 8hr sleep that shes still being tube fed overnight, shes obviously not being burped at all in that time.

L A Z Y

[Tiredofspoiledbrats]

Their baby would not be here without IVF. Furthermore, a baby with that CHD would not survive to adulthood without modern medicine. So at what point will Phil and Alex admit, "You know, the natural route isn't going to work, she needs a special formula."
If they were still waiting for their bodies to do what they are "supposed" to do and let nature take its course, they would not have a biological child. But for whatever reason, Alex can't come to terms with the fact that her breast milk is not going to cut it. Again, if they wanted to rely on what is "natural," they would effectively be sterile as a couple. Medically assisted reproduction was fine to get their baby here, but now for some reason doctors are stupid and formula is the devil? Also, painful and controversial procedure with a questionable success rate is an acceptable form of medical intervention if it gives Alex hope that she will get her "normal" breastfeeding experience. But she fought an NG tube and gives her baby the smallest possible amount of fortification and can't be bothered to get a scale. Has it not dawned on them how completely insane they look?

THIS!!! Couldn’t agree more!

[LucyLucyAppleJuicy]

I’ve been lurking for ages, but just needed to join up to say, good lord, this woman is insane.

And I thought when comments are disabled by YouTube, the message reads, "Comments are disabled." Phil and Alex's channel has the message "Comments are turned off," which makes me think they turn them off so they don't have to delete the critical ones.

I’ve been lurking as well but I made an account finally because I just can’t not not say anything anymore. Alex is completely off her rocker. There was absolutely no reason for this poor baby to even have this procedure at this time. She is supposed to be making sure Cassidy is gaining weight for her surgery and doing everything possible to ensure this happens, the whole point of the feeding tube. The most recent Vlog is infuriating! “I just wish I knew the volume” Dumbass you WOULD know the volume if you were using the feeding tube and actually following Drs orders. At this point, breastfeeding should be treated like a bonding moment but NOT as a primary source of eating. Because she does need to know exact volume and caloric intake, not guesstimates. It just makes me so angry how she is handling this. And that poor baby is NEVER in a crib or bassinet. She was on the effing floor for God sake in the recent Vlog.
And don’t even get me started with Dumb and Dumber now asking if they should be having their tongue ties fixed. Like what the actual HELL?!
And to wrap up my rant lol; Yes... they have absolutely turned commenting off on the videos. Not YouTube, them. They turned the comments off because they KNOW what they are doing is wrong and they only want to hear how wonderful they are and not any criticism, no matter how constructive it may be.

I’m happy to be here and look forward to more discussions!

They are honestly so stupid, him only slightly more than her. Maybe they should get their tongue ties fixed, with no anaesthetic, then be given no pain relief until they’ve screamed for 3 HOURS.

[Rottiemom]

Im sorry but tube fed babies still need to be burped so an 8hr sleep that shes still being tube fed overnight, shes obviously not being burped at all in that time.

L A Z Y

I agree. It seems pretty dangerous to just set it up and forget about it. Poor Cassidy. I also wondered - aren’t they supposed to be doing her mouth exercises every 4 hours, I’m assuming that includes night time. So they clearly aren’t keeping up with that if they’re sleeping that long.

[ducklamp]

Longtime lurker here, unable to not join in the conversation.

Alex lacks basic logic and seems so confused by what needs to happen (probably because she's clouded with breastfeeding dreams). As someone who doesn't have kids or any knowledge about Cassidy's condition, it's taken me a while to understand and grasp what's going on and what should happen, but now that I do (on a very surface level), watching vlogs is the most frustrating experience. How can a NICU nurse have so much trouble navigating this?

Did anyone else notice the Trader Joe's coconut oil sitting on the desk next to Cassidy's bottle and other water bottles?

Screenshot_20200816-181822~2.png

[girlmom1821]

Oh look, she’s still not being held. Good lord


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[sondraK]

Isn't it likely the Dr told them to give a dose of tylenol BEFORE the procedure? But yet they waited till 3 hrs AFTER she had it done?

[Mousegirl913]

Isn't it likely the Dr told them to give a dose of tylenol BEFORE the procedure? But yet they waited till 3 hrs AFTER she had it done?

I'm almost positive they were told that... but Alex seems like the crunchy "all medicine is unnessessary" type of person....

hell...I've got two kids and one on the way...even with my 1st I gave them a shot before getting shots and some afterwords when the meds would wear off...I would never let my child scream in pain for 3 hours...I'd be trying to make them feel better...doing anything I could to make them feel better. my 3 year old has bad growing pain that sometimes pain meds dont work and he would cry in pain till I figured to try to heating pad [which worked!]

Alex just doesnt seem to have the "mommy instinct" thing going on :/ I feel so bad for Cassidy....next problem will be her flat head and how it will be the doctors fault

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[ZaGaNoDr1968]

I am so disgusted and angry that I can't even comment. Everything that's been said by all of you, I'm in total agreement, plus some!!!

What I wanted to point out was when Alex was saying she kept the feeding tube out (because she breastfed 20 minutes that day!!!) and then Phil was saying how she had breastfed TWICE that day (so still haven't reinserted the feeding tube) and did anyone notice the clock behind Phil??? It was fucking 4:00 (FOUR!!!!!) in the damn afternoon. So TWO feedings by 4pm. That poor baby.

[DarthMama]

And I thought when comments are disabled by YouTube, the message reads, "Comments are disabled." Phil and Alex's channel has the message "Comments are turned off," which makes me think they turn them off so they don't have to delete the critical ones.

If they have their videos listed as child friendly, and on KidsTube it will say "Comments are turned off." I have a YT channel and I have a couple videos where I'm reading a children's story my kids enjoy and make those child friendly and that's what shows on those videos. The videos I manually turn them off say "Comments are disabled."

[theshamanisright1]

I am so disgusted and angry that I can't even comment. Everything that's been said by all of you, I'm in total agreement, plus some!!!

What I wanted to point out was when Alex was saying she kept the feeding tube out (because she breastfed 20 minutes that day!!!) and then Phil was saying how she had breastfed TWICE that day (so still haven't reinserted the feeding tube) and did anyone notice the clock behind Phil??? It was fucking 4:00 (FOUR!!!!!) in the damn afternoon. So TWO feedings by 4pm. That poor baby.

I'm so scared for Cassidy. Especially if they're giving her oil still. She needs NOURISHMENT, Alex. It doesn't matter where it comes from. Put your pride aside for five minutes and give her fortified formula

[DarthMama]

Longtime lurker here, unable to not join in the conversation.

Alex lacks basic logic and seems so confused by what needs to happen (probably because she's clouded with breastfeeding dreams). As someone who doesn't have kids or any knowledge about Cassidy's condition, it's taken me a while to understand and grasp what's going on and what should happen, but now that I do (on a very surface level), watching vlogs is the most frustrating experience. How can a NICU nurse have so much trouble navigating this?

Did anyone else notice the Trader Joe's coconut oil sitting on the desk next to Cassidy's bottle and other water bottles?

Screenshot_20200816-181822~2.png

I'm sure Alex is using it for nipple cream, the pump is on the other side of her. I've got crunchy friends that would swear up and down the coconut oil was so much better than the ointment based nipple creams.

[DarthMama]

I am so disgusted and angry that I can't even comment. Everything that's been said by all of you, I'm in total agreement, plus some!!!

What I wanted to point out was when Alex was saying she kept the feeding tube out (because she breastfed 20 minutes that day!!!) and then Phil was saying how she had breastfed TWICE that day (so still haven't reinserted the feeding tube) and did anyone notice the clock behind Phil??? It was fucking 4:00 (FOUR!!!!!) in the damn afternoon. So TWO feedings by 4pm. That poor baby.

I'm so scared for Cassidy. Especially if they're giving her oil still. She needs NOURISHMENT, Alex. It doesn't matter where it comes from. Put your pride aside for five minutes and give her fortified formula

not just that but fortify it correctly. I'm sure they are supposed to be using 1 scoop for 2oz of breastmilk. But know it all alex is only using like 1/4-1/2 teaspoon.

[HashtagBlessed]

And I thought when comments are disabled by YouTube, the message reads, "Comments are disabled." Phil and Alex's channel has the message "Comments are turned off," which makes me think they turn them off so they don't have to delete the critical ones.

If they have their videos listed as child friendly, and on KidsTube it will say "Comments are turned off." I have a YT channel and I have a couple videos where I'm reading a children's story my kids enjoy and make those child friendly and that's what shows on those videos. The videos I manually turn them off say "Comments are disabled."

Ah, thanks for the info! That's pretty disturbing if they labeled a video all about their baby's frenectomy as "child friendly." Whether they're turning off their comments, or putting them in a specific category that they know will have comments turned off, I think it's essentially the same thing. So strange that they act like they want a dialogue when they know that comments are disabled for "child friendly" videos.

[Elliecat]

I’ve commented on several of the Instagram posts and stories about how they don’t hold her when they feed her. It makes me want to cry to see this little baby dumped on a chair or bed with a feeding tube while Alex sleeps. Come on, this is your baby that you were desperate for. Why are you not holding her? I just can’t understand it at all. I have a 3 year old, a nearly 2 year old and a 3 month old. I know it’s hard to juggle children and a baby, but you find a way. Poor Cassidy.


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[HashtagBlessed]

I am so disgusted and angry that I can't even comment. Everything that's been said by all of you, I'm in total agreement, plus some!!!

What I wanted to point out was when Alex was saying she kept the feeding tube out (because she breastfed 20 minutes that day!!!) and then Phil was saying how she had breastfed TWICE that day (so still haven't reinserted the feeding tube) and did anyone notice the clock behind Phil??? It was fucking 4:00 (FOUR!!!!!) in the damn afternoon. So TWO feedings by 4pm. That poor baby.

I agree, I would say 2 oz by breast (which is a total guess on Alex's part, she's not weighing her) is fine for bonding/keeping her used to feeding by mouth, but then you would follow that up with at least another 2 oz by feeding tube. Probably more. Why is Alex so insistent that 2 oz is such a good volume for a 2-month-old that she doesn't need the tube put back in? So she lets her sleep until the next feeding, where she'll exclusively breastfeed again. A two-month old should be getting at least 24 oz of food over a 24 hour period. There's no way. Of course that only lasted two days! After two days of starving, she didn't have the energy to feed by mouth any more. So it was back to exclusively pumping/NG tube.

Imagine if Alex was nursing at each feeding, but then properly supplementing with a high calorie formula by tube? If Cassidy could keep her energy up and actually gain weight at a healthy rate, she could have been nursing a whole lot more.

"I think she took two ounces. It's not an exact science by any means." And then, "I just can't wait to get in with the lactation consultant and see how much she's actually taking." She does realize that most people with a medically fragile child struggling to gain weight buy that baby scale she keeps mentioning but can't be bothered to purchase? That's what gives you a more "exact" reading! Alex prefers to live in la-la land where she can control the narrative. As soon as she buys a scale, she'll have a definitive answer, and it will be further proof that her child is not getting enough. Instead, Alex would rather guess, which is insane for a child who is failure to thrive.

I find it very telling that Alex says that a speech therapist evaluated her and determined she did not need to have surgery. To Alex, this is because she didn't "catch it." But has it ever occurred to Alex that all the specialists they saw who are experts in oral musculature and range of motion of the tongue might know more than her LC? No, Alex still thinks a LC and a dentist deserve the final word, because they gave Alex false hope that breastfeeding could be salvaged. It's not that other doctors aren't trained to screen for this, they just don't believe that it frequently causes issues in those with mild cases and they don't recommend surgery.

[HashtagBlessed]

As an addendum to my post above, Alex also said that the procedure from the pediatric dentist wasn't covered by their insurance, and they could have gone to an ENT (ear, nose, throat doctor) to get insurance to pay for it. But her lactation consultant essentially claimed that ENTs aren't "trained" in diagnosing and treating this. I think this is a coded way of saying, go to this pediatric dentist because they're one of the few who will do it. If you see a different doctor, there's a good chance they'll advise against surgery. So essentially doctor shopping to get the diagnosis she wanted with the help of the lactation consultant. Sure, the pediatricians at the hospital, ENTs, and speech pathologists aren't "trained" in this. Only this pediatric dentists and LC are "trained." That's makes a ton of sense, Alex. Before Alex shared any of this, I predicted that this is how it went down (LC referred to her to a specific pediatric dentist), because it's the classic, textbook scenario of how ties are over diagnosed and over treated.

[DarthMama]

"I think she took two ounces. It's not an exact science by any means." And then, "I just can't wait to get in with the lactation consultant and see how much she's actually taking." She does realize that most people with a medically fragile child struggling to gain weight buy that baby scale she keeps mentioning but can't be bothered to purchase? That's what gives you a more "exact" reading! Alex prefers to live in la-la land where she can control the narrative. As soon as she buys a scale, she'll have a definitive answer, and it will be further proof that her child is not getting enough. Instead, Alex would rather guess, which is insane for a child who is failure to thrive.

She was grifting for a scale not long ago on IG with her "Oh I need a baby scale what do you recommend?" Hell at this point all she needs to do is use an adult scale, weigh herself, weigh herself with unicorn and subtract the two for unicorn's weight before and after feedings. OOOORRR she could just go on Amazon type in baby scale and read the reviews. But we know she doesn't want to fork out the $50 for it. She'd rather use that money on the ugly clothes she puts on unicorn. But alas her grifting was for nothing because no one took the line and just bought her one, like the bouncer and bassinet she got for free from viewers.

[DarthMama]

And I thought when comments are disabled by YouTube, the message reads, "Comments are disabled." Phil and Alex's channel has the message "Comments are turned off," which makes me think they turn them off so they don't have to delete the critical ones.

If they have their videos listed as child friendly, and on KidsTube it will say "Comments are turned off." I have a YT channel and I have a couple videos where I'm reading a children's story my kids enjoy and make those child friendly and that's what shows on those videos. The videos I manually turn them off say "Comments are disabled."

Ah, thanks for the info! That's pretty disturbing if they labeled a video all about their baby's frenectomy as "child friendly." Whether they're turning off their comments, or putting them in a specific category that they know will have comments turned off, I think it's essentially the same thing. So strange that they act like they want a dialogue when they know that comments are disabled for "child friendly" videos.

Yes she wants to play idiot on why comments are gone. And to I'm sure she's doing it just to get extra views for sponsorships. People make more money from sponsors than adsence (youtube ads). It's not because they have the kids in the videos. I watch another family, not fundies, that have 6 kids all close together unplanned. Both mom and dad in that family work and they vlog here and there. Anyways their videos all have comments on them but I know none of their videos are on Kids YouTube.