Phil and Alex: Struggling With Maternity After Laboring For Eternity | Part 10

[LucyLucyAppleJuicy]

Isn't the rice cereal going to require a bigger tube? But Alex said C didn't do as well w a bigger tube.
Couldn't she just spoon feed the cereal?

Alex doesn’t do well with a larger tube. She barely let Cassidy have it for five minutes.

I will put money on it that cassidy doesn’t gain enough weight this next weigh in and Alex will be desperate and Cassidy will end up with a mic-key button or gtube instead, she will see it as a sign from g*d and cassidys reflux will be cured - in the name of unicorn hay-zeus.

Shes throwing out all these sad to have medical intervention posts, yet shes clearly loving all of the attention, having something to complain about and be all high and mighty and preachy about it. Finally using her medical training for “good”. Etc etc. Preachy Phil has been rather silent on things the past few days....

I think Phil could go either way here. He's always been Alex's biggest enabler and completely besotted with her and everything she says, but they have shown some marriage shakiness in the past few weeks, and he's described some things (e.g. "forgotten how to breastfeed") differently to Alex, which might indicate that his take on it is different to hers. Alex has gone up a few gears on the narcissism. I wonder if Phil's breaking point will be seeing his daughter look like she's fading away. That could be a trigger for him to wake up and see the shit show he married, given how he almost died of the same condition.

No vile outbursts lately either about how they both can't go to the medical appointments. I bet Alex likes it that way - Phil can't be there to hear directly what the doctor's are saying.

I really hope Phil steps up and does the right thing for his child. If he doesn’t she will die. It’s not just about weight gain. If Cassidy doesn’t have adequate nutrition, her tissues will be even more delicate, there is a much higher chance she’ll die on the operating table. All so Alex can fulfil her dream. WAKE UP PHIL

[IVFwarrior]

Alex doesn’t do well with a larger tube. She barely let Cassidy have it for five minutes.

I will put money on it that cassidy doesn’t gain enough weight this next weigh in and Alex will be desperate and Cassidy will end up with a mic-key button or gtube instead, she will see it as a sign from g*d and cassidys reflux will be cured - in the name of unicorn hay-zeus.

Shes throwing out all these sad to have medical intervention posts, yet shes clearly loving all of the attention, having something to complain about and be all high and mighty and preachy about it. Finally using her medical training for “good”. Etc etc. Preachy Phil has been rather silent on things the past few days....

I think Phil could go either way here. He's always been Alex's biggest enabler and completely besotted with her and everything she says, but they have shown some marriage shakiness in the past few weeks, and he's described some things (e.g. "forgotten how to breastfeed") differently to Alex, which might indicate that his take on it is different to hers. Alex has gone up a few gears on the narcissism. I wonder if Phil's breaking point will be seeing his daughter look like she's fading away. That could be a trigger for him to wake up and see the shit show he married, given how he almost died of the same condition.

No vile outbursts lately either about how they both can't go to the medical appointments. I bet Alex likes it that way - Phil can't be there to hear directly what the doctor's are saying.

I really hope Phil steps up and does the right thing for his child. If he doesn’t she will die. It’s not just about weight gain. If Cassidy doesn’t have adequate nutrition, her tissues will be even more delicate, there is a much higher chance she’ll die on the operating table. All so Alex can fulfil her dream. WAKE UP PHIL

About 5% of babies die from this condition. Not necessarily straight after surgery, but in the months that follow. This might sound like a small number, but it's huge, because the 5% isn't spread evenly around. Out of 20 parents going through the same thing, 19 families get to take their baby home, but 1 family has to arrange a funeral. Every decision Alex makes, increases the likelihood that they will be the one. Someone has to be it...Sadly, I don't think Phil has the balls - even if he can see it - to stand up to Alex. He'll do a whole lot of mental gymnastics to convince himself that everything will work out fine because it's easier than confronting Alex.

[girlmom1821]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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[LucyLucyAppleJuicy]

About 5% of babies die from this condition. Not necessarily straight after surgery, but in the months that follow. This might sound like a small number, but it's huge, because the 5% isn't spread evenly around. Out of 20 parents going through the same thing, 19 families get to take their baby home, but 1 family has to arrange a funeral. Every decision Alex makes, increases the likelihood that they will be the one. Someone has to be it...Sadly, I don't think Phil has the balls - even if he can see it - to stand up to Alex. He'll do a whole lot of mental gymnastics to convince himself that everything will work out fine because it's easier than confronting Alex.

Sadly I think you’re right. I guess I wrote that because I’m hoping he’s reading here (I would be, I couldn’t stop myself), and maybe something I or someone else says will prompt a change of heart. That gorgeous little girl has already suffered enough, I’m terrified for her with these parents.

A 5% mortality rate is high. I didn’t realise it was that high.

[skiingmama1]

I got the weird feeling watching their latest vlog that Alex has been reading here. Some of the things mentioned here were slyly brought up in their vlog like holding Cassidy while feeding her.

I have this feeling that Alex is lying to Phil or at minimum trying to confuse and overwhelm him so that he isn't aware what is truly going on. He thinks she's professional and trusts her input. She clearly uses this to her advantage. After the tongue-tie fix, I got the feeling that she was trying to convince Phil that it worked. She said it did and then she said that you can't tell right away. Which is it? Also with feeding Cassidy, I think she is being confusing on purpose. I don't think Phil truly knows what is best for Cassidy because Alex is messing with him.
Also saying that Cassidy didn't gain weight that week and then suddenly she has gained a little. I think she is playing mind games...

I think Phil is completely oblivious to and brainwashed by Alex... he has convinced himself that “sweet God fearing nurse Alex” is the worlds greatest super-mom and he never needs to question the care she provides because she always knows what’s best

[LucyLucyAppleJuicy]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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This is almost enough to restart a faith in God. What a relief!!!!!

[Elliecat]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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I thought that when this went up an hour after I said she’d be blaming CMPA next, except she’d have to cut out dairy and not be able to go to ice cream parlours.
[IMG]//uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202008 ... 386069.jpg[/IMG]


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[RiverRose]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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GAHHH I feel triggered lol. I had to feed my daughter that stuff when she was a baby because of her GI issues. It smells so bad and it's sooooo expensive. Those cost like $10 a bottle for the ready to feed, which is what I use because my baby hated the powder. But it really, really helped with her issues so it was 100% worth it. I hope it does the same for Cassidy!

[Carol]

well since she is reading here, now use the alimentum and not just show a cute little picture of the case and then go back to your old ways of feeding her. just for 2 weeks, keep pumping but only feed cassidy what the doctor's ordered for her. Cassidy had no problem gaining weight when she was admitted for failure to thrive. And hold your baby, if you were exclusively breast feeding, you would be holding her at every feeding. stop placing her flat on her back during feedings, stop feeding her unsupervised overnight in her bassinet. if you are suffering with some ppd, seek help. that is nothing to be ashamed of. phil, be an advocate for your daughter. alex is not caring for this baby. It is now your job as dad to stand up and be cassidy's voice.

[Rottiemom]

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like Alex and Phil are actually starting C on formula. She posted that she wants to wait to see how the reflux meds work first before adding the formula. It seems she just bought it as a “just in case” to have on hand. News flash Alex - you’re passed “just in case”, you’ve proven that you can’t responsibly nurse, weigh and fortify the rest of the feeding for her feeding tube. Hell, you can’t even responsibly use the feeding tube. When is she going to wake up and take this seriously? I would not be playing guess and check if i was in her position. I’d be throwing everything at the problem and see what sticks. Who cares what the actual “fix” ends up being, just do what it takes to make sure your baby is healthy.

[DarthMama]

I think it’s unfair to say Alex doesn’t care about Cassidy. It’s well established that parents of chronically ill children face much more stressful And devastating situations than parents of healthy children, and those parents can become depressed, detached, or live in denial. It’s all a natural reaction to devastating news. (There are plenty of scholarly sources accessible through a quick Google search.) That doesn’t mean Alex doesn’t love Cassidy, or that she loved the Idea of the experience more than her baby. I believe Phil and Alex are both having a hard time facing how poorly Cassidy is and they want to focus on all these somewhat trivial “normal baby issues” like tongue tie and breastfeeding so they will feel more normal. Oh, and of course they have set up their entire world to revolve around a cheesy Praise Jesus internet persona. I think they probably also feel guilty for doing IVF because they forced nature’s hand and it created a baby with a heart defect that could have been avoided... which probably has them questioning their religious beliefs at a time when they are no longer rooted in their old church and they are thousands of miles from their support system. I think it is all much deeper than just “Alex is pissed her unicorn isn’t perfect.”

She cares for Cassidy but not more than she cares about her experience. She has not at any point shown any kind of fear or concern for what Cassidy will have to go through in a few months. It's all about everything Alex is missing out on and not going to get to do. it's been months of listening to her moan and groan about everything that isn't going her way. Worse than that, she has a real issue following doctors orders. Even when she talks about her surgery, it's not so her heart can be fixed and she can be healthy. No the only thing she says is "Maybe then she'll be able to go back to exclusively breastfeeding!". The only thing she had shed tears about through this whole thing was her not getting what she wanted. Not getting her birth center, birth she cried. Not getting her natural birth because she kept running to the hospital for every twinge of a paint, she cried. Not getting her skin to skin right after birth, she cried. Being told that she and Phil couldn't both be in the NICU at the same time, she cried and her and Philip both had a fit! She's told Cassidy isn't gaining weight and probably needs a feeding tube. Does she cry and worry about Cassidy? No, she cries about not getting to breastfeed exclusively anymore(which by the way she wasn't supposed to be doing for weeks before Cassidy got so weak because she almost starved her...). After months of listening to her moan and groan over everything but what she should worrying about, I'm over it. As far as them being away from their support system, they chose to leave California on their fake living in an RV trip. No one forced them to leave. I think if they had a brain in their head they wouldn't have left. Also they are the ones who have done a thousand rounds of IVF, no one forced them to do that either.

I'm not gonna lie when I first started watching their videos, I really liked them. But after awhile, I started to see how incredibly selfish and entitled and rude they both are and it's only gotten worse!

I've been thinking... Not long ago she was bitching and moaning about not getting to stay at Ronald McDonald House. Why couldn't they have driven the RV and parked it at a camp site for her to stay at with the car? We just bought an RV because I HATE staying at hotels and places like that. We know the whole bitch about the RMH is because that is free, and they always say "Free is for me."

[DarthMama]

I’m also convinced we are being lied to by Alex, and I believe she’s also lying to Phil. There are already a huge amount of discrepancies in what she says, both on YT and on IG, and the whole ‘lactation consultant’s scale was broken’ is utter bull.

Yep, so many inconsistencies. I noticed she first said that she was bummed that there had been no weight gain this week when she was filming in the doctor's office. Then later on once home she claimed she had gained weight, but it wasn't as much as they wanted. So which is it? Seems like a pretty basic thing to communicate. She shared previously that baby was 9 lbs at 2 months, which puts her around the 5th percentile. She's avoiding sharing specifics on weight because she knows she will be called out. I can't believe she was giving that baby "maybe" 2 ounces by breast and letting her sleep to the next feeding for the two days after her tie surgery. There's no way she thinks that's enough and warrants taking out the feeding tube?

I don't believe for 1 minute that baby was 9lbs at 2 months old. While my kid wasn't a cardiac baby it did struggle to feed. They were born 8lbs 8oz. We fed it every 3-4 hours round the clock for the first 3 months. And while it took some time we would get at least 3 ounces in it at a feed. At 2 months old this kid was just hovering over 9lbs. Once we got reflex meds on, doctor started it on the stronger meds because he didn't want to play around with trial and error, and formula change to alimentum the child started gaining a bit. This kid was on both alimentum and reflex meds till they were 3 years old.

[DarthMama]

Isn't the rice cereal going to require a bigger tube? But Alex said C didn't do as well w a bigger tube.
Couldn't she just spoon feed the cereal?

Alex doesn’t do well with a larger tube. She barely let Cassidy have it for five minutes.

I will put money on it that cassidy doesn’t gain enough weight this next weigh in and Alex will be desperate and Cassidy will end up with a mic-key button or gtube instead, she will see it as a sign from g*d and cassidys reflux will be cured - in the name of unicorn hay-zeus.

Shes throwing out all these sad to have medical intervention posts, yet shes clearly loving all of the attention, having something to complain about and be all high and mighty and preachy about it. Finally using her medical training for “good”. Etc etc. Preachy Phil has been rather silent on things the past few days....

I've been wondering if she's been hoping to slow the gain knowing what causes the puking to get a gTube or Mic-Key. That way she can hide it in all those stepford pictures, like she did Cali's leg brace. There was an old picture on IG that in summer Calli had on like 2 or 3 layers of clothes to hide the hip brace.

[DarthMama]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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GAHHH I feel triggered lol. I had to feed my daughter that stuff when she was a baby because of her GI issues. It smells so bad and it's sooooo expensive. Those cost like $10 a bottle for the ready to feed, which is what I use because my baby hated the powder. But it really, really helped with her issues so it was 100% worth it. I hope it does the same for Cassidy!

Oh that smell is one you NEVER get out of your head. Although the Powder was worse than the ready feed. I had the kid that wouldn't drink the ready feed type.

[DarthMama]

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like Alex and Phil are actually starting C on formula. She posted that she wants to wait to see how the reflux meds work first before adding the formula. It seems she just bought it as a “just in case” to have on hand. News flash Alex - you’re passed “just in case”, you’ve proven that you can’t responsibly nurse, weigh and fortify the rest of the feeding for her feeding tube. Hell, you can’t even responsibly use the feeding tube. When is she going to wake up and take this seriously? I would not be playing guess and check if i was in her position. I’d be throwing everything at the problem and see what sticks. Who cares what the actual “fix” ends up being, just do what it takes to make sure your baby is healthy.

Yep seems to just be a prop to "See See, we have formula." The way I'm reading it here she doesn't plan to just use it. She may "fortify" with it but we know she can't even do that correctly.

Screenshot_2020-08-22 Stories • Instagram.jpg

[IVFwarrior]

About 5% of babies die from this condition. Not necessarily straight after surgery, but in the months that follow. This might sound like a small number, but it's huge, because the 5% isn't spread evenly around. Out of 20 parents going through the same thing, 19 families get to take their baby home, but 1 family has to arrange a funeral. Every decision Alex makes, increases the likelihood that they will be the one. Someone has to be it...Sadly, I don't think Phil has the balls - even if he can see it - to stand up to Alex. He'll do a whole lot of mental gymnastics to convince himself that everything will work out fine because it's easier than confronting Alex.

Sadly I think you’re right. I guess I wrote that because I’m hoping he’s reading here (I would be, I couldn’t stop myself), and maybe something I or someone else says will prompt a change of heart. That gorgeous little girl has already suffered enough, I’m terrified for her with these parents.

A 5% mortality rate is high. I didn’t realise it was that high.

Yeah, I also think they read here. I think Phil might start to see what's going on, but I don't think he'll do anything about it. He's a classic "married to a narcissist, wife runs the show" kinda guy. And given that his whole public persona is a preacher/pastor/the world is great kinda a guy, I don't hold out much hope. But I agree, I also write things here in the hope some more people see it and start trying to influence them - in their personal lives, on their IG, their medical staff etc... And Callie and Kinsley when they are older and their parents can no longer keep them captive away from evil school children who might tell them that "my mommy said your mommy is crazy and exploiting you".

[IVFwarrior]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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This surprised me for a moment. They absolutely read here, but they almost NEVER respond to any of the claims. Alex has grandiose-type NPD. Whilst she seeks admiration from people, she also thinks she knows everything, she's arrogant, and she looks down on others. So she has no need to respond - she literally doesn't care because she thinks we're all wrong, and if anything, she takes a defiant approach to the criticism and keeps intentionally performing the same behaviours because she's adamant she is better than everyone else.

Contrast this to someone with super low-self esteem who stresses about what people think about them. A Rachelle Swannie type for example, that can't help but brew over the means things people are saying about her and she will try to pathetically explain her actions in literally every video, or get her supporters to validate her position.

So I was a little shocked to see Alex respond to the criticism by showing that she bought formula. It's not the style of someone haughty like her who thinks they are superior to everyone else. I thought perhaps she was really being smashed with messages and was finally breaking.

But nope. She was just using it to put everyone in their place again and remind them that her magical unicorn breastmilk is here to stay.

[Goodgirl]

I feel like P&A are missing the point. The BEST thing for Cassidy isn’t breastfeeding. The BEST thing for her is going in to heart surgery at the ideal weight.


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[ducklamp]

I think it's safe to say that Alex reads this forum


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This was in response to a comment thread on Alex's most recent instagram post, which has since been deleted (of course). It was suggesting that she should try an all formula diet (with Alimentum specifically) and to cut out breast milk. The thread only got heated when her minions started throwing mud for anyone insinuating that anything Alex is doing is wrong.

[sondraK]

I think Phil could go either way here. He's always been Alex's biggest enabler and completely besotted with her and everything she says, but they have shown some marriage shakiness in the past few weeks, and he's described some things (e.g. "forgotten how to breastfeed") differently to Alex, which might indicate that his take on it is different to hers. Alex has gone up a few gears on the narcissism. I wonder if Phil's breaking point will be seeing his daughter look like she's fading away. That could be a trigger for him to wake up and see the shit show he married, given how he almost died of the same condition.

No vile outbursts lately either about how they both can't go to the medical appointments. I bet Alex likes it that way - Phil can't be there to hear directly what the doctor's are saying.

I really hope Phil steps up and does the right thing for his child. If he doesn’t she will die. It’s not just about weight gain. If Cassidy doesn’t have adequate nutrition, her tissues will be even more delicate, there is a much higher chance she’ll die on the operating table. All so Alex can fulfil her dream. WAKE UP PHIL

About 5% of babies die from this condition. Not necessarily straight after surgery, but in the months that follow. This might sound like a small number, but it's huge, because the 5% isn't spread evenly around. Out of 20 parents going through the same thing, 19 families get to take their baby home, but 1 family has to arrange a funeral. Every decision Alex makes, increases the likelihood that they will be the one. Someone has to be it...Sadly, I don't think Phil has the balls - even if he can see it - to stand up to Alex. He'll do a whole lot of mental gymnastics to convince himself that everything will work out fine because it's easier than confronting Alex.

Yes,if Phil confronted Alex,a bomb would go off! Never question a narc.But he needs to now.C's life is at stake.He nees to step up n do the right thing