Rash and Justine: Lazy Spouse, Messy House, Won't Get Off the Dang Couch | Part 31

[mamabear01]

Big clickbait today in response to us saying the boys are no longer nursing. Her basically saying the boys “aren’t nursing well cause they are congested”. She’s just setting up the story line for how it wasn’t her fault they no longer nurse.


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I thought the same thing. I haven’t even watched the video. I don’t plan on it. I know it’s going to be boring AF and a clickbait and two months from now she’ll say the boys stopped nursing

Yeah 2 months sounds about right. She “nursed” Emma to 6 months. So she’ll want to make it longer with the twins, so she’ll “nurse” them till 7 months. Then she’ll make up how Reuben started refusing the boob and only wanted a bottle but she couldn’t pump and nurse Asher too, so she did formula for Reuben and Asher the boob. And then that Asher started to prefer bottles too and then they were both completely on formula.


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[GGF1987]

Big clickbait today in response to us saying the boys are no longer nursing. Her basically saying the boys “aren’t nursing well cause they are congested”. She’s just setting up the story line for how it wasn’t her fault they no longer nurse.


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That's exactly what she's doing. She did the same thing with Emma. If you don't want to nurse, then don't. But be honest about it! You'll be a lot more relatable if you're honest about why it didn't work out instead of showing one thing on you videos and saying another.

[Ld5]

Omg... the label maker and those bins. The bucket of barbies she actually labeled them Barbie’s. It’s barbies Rachelle... BARBIES.


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[Dani_465]

Omg... the label maker and those bins. The bucket of barbies she actually labeled them Barbie’s. It’s barbies Rachelle... BARBIES.


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No she didn’t lol. OMG . Well no one will mistake her for a genius, EVER. And why label the bins with words? How about PICTURES, so your child can put away her own toys.

[Ld5]

Also... “Your face is so disgusting Emma!”

Ummm regardless if she has chocolate on her mouth.. SHE DOESN’T KNOW THAT! All she knows is that you called her face disgusting.

Great parenting right there...


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[Dani_465]

Also... “Your face is so disgusting Emma!”

Ummm regardless if she has chocolate on her mouth.. SHE DOESN’T KNOW THAT! All she knows is that you called her face disgusting.

Great parenting right there...


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She is the WORSSSSST parent. Poor Emma have self-esteem issues just like trashy. She’ll have SEVERE anxiety from living with trashy. First Emma kisses her mom and trashy wipes her kisses away in disgust, and Emma does the same thing thinking it’s normal. Now trashy is telling her, her face is disgusting.

Emma you maybe homely but your face is far from disgusting. I’m sorry am you have an ASSHOLE for a mother, and father since he isn’t stopping it. Come find me when you need counseling.

[Dani_465]

Oh look trashy on the couch doing shit... dinner doesn’t need to be made, the house doesn’t need to be cleaned? You’re a lazy ass fuck trashy. Most moms don’t have time to sit on their asses all day. Please share how you do it all and have time
To sit on your ass. Oh wait, I know. Your aaa doesn’t have a job. Oh wait, I know SAHM who don’t have time either.

[spicy_dreams]

Did Brynn survive long enough to be considered a still birth, or was she a miscarriage?

[Dani_465]

Did Brynn survive long enough to be considered a still birth, or was she a miscarriage?

Trashy claims she was 20 weeks +. I think at 20 weeks Brynn is considered still born.

[Tweedles3]

Did Brynn survive long enough to be considered a still birth, or was she a miscarriage?

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but my memory is that Brynn had passed before 20 weeks, but was not induced until after 20 weeks. So I think it would be a stillbirth, technically. I don’t know if it’s different between states, but where I live, 20 weeks is the cutoff time for registration for the baby (I cannot remember what it is called). After 20 weeks, the baby must be registered with a birth/death certificate and funeral arrangements made*. I think Rash really wanted that, so she waited until the 20 week mark had passed.

*Had a loss at the same GA age and was able to avoid the formalities, was too devastated to face a baby funeral


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[Haulnarse]

She was JUST 20 weeks when she actually delivered.

Here its 22 weeks and/or a certain weight. So baby could be 20 weeks but weigh the minimum weight and be marked as a stillborn vs miscarriage. If that makes sense?

She makes it sound like brynn was a 30+ week stillbirth.

[saltybitters]

Brynn passed at 19 weeks and some odd days, but she waited to be induced until Justin was able to come home from deployment to be with her, which put Brynn's delivery at just over 20 weeks. The US military dictates that 20 weeks gestation is the minimum for for a proper burial and grave marker in a military cemetery, which she and Justin wanted, too, so I'm sure that contributed to her holding off. It's why only Justin's name is on Brynn's stone, because only service members are listed for familial burials of this nature, not the non-serving spouse.

Honestly, I understood why Brynn's miscarriage was so heartwrenching before they had Emma. After dealing with being infertile and having a transfer or two fail, then having one stick only to miscarry at 19 weeks, you have to wonder if you'll ever get to be a parent or if it's just not in the cards for you. My mom had similar emotions regarding her 16 week miscarriage prior to me (she told me about it long after I reached adulthood). However, even if Brynn always has a place in their hearts that can never be filled, they've had two live births resulting in three babies in two years. You can hurt over your loss forever and still not milk it for YT dollars or put the pressure on your living children to love/honor a sibling that never existed for them. Brynn may as well be Rash's imaginary friend as far as Emma is concerned. She's two! She's too young to understand the nuances of death and grief! And she's delayed anyway, so she's not even a standard two!

My mom told me that my birth is what healed her from her loss and allowed her to move on in a healthy way, because she couldn't change the past and I was alive and I needed her. It seems like Rash's births just drive her deeper into her grief, that her idealized blonde-haired blue-eyed miracle will never exist, and so she has to rush through the milestones and into more transfers to feel something other than pain or numbness. It's almost tragic. I really wish she'd just go to therapy and start working on her unhealthy emotions for the sake of her kids.

[theshamanisright1]

Brynn passed at 19 weeks and some odd days, but she waited to be induced until Justin was able to come home from deployment to be with her, which put Brynn's delivery at just over 20 weeks. The US military dictates that 20 weeks gestation is the minimum for for a proper burial and grave marker in a military cemetery, which she and Justin wanted, too, so I'm sure that contributed to her holding off. It's why only Justin's name is on Brynn's stone, because only service members are listed for familial burials of this nature, not the non-serving spouse.

Honestly, I understood why Brynn's miscarriage was so heartwrenching before they had Emma. After dealing with being infertile and having a transfer or two fail, then having one stick only to miscarry at 19 weeks, you have to wonder if you'll ever get to be a parent or if it's just not in the cards for you. My mom had similar emotions regarding her 16 week miscarriage prior to me (she told me about it long after I reached adulthood). However, even if Brynn always has a place in their hearts that can never be filled, they've had two live births resulting in three babies in two years. You can hurt over your loss forever and still not milk it for YT dollars or put the pressure on your living children to love/honor a sibling that never existed for them. Brynn may as well be Rash's imaginary friend as far as Emma is concerned. She's two! She's too young to understand the nuances of death and grief! And she's delayed anyway, so she's not even a standard two!

My mom told me that my birth is what healed her from her loss and allowed her to move on in a healthy way, because she couldn't change the past and I was alive and I needed her. It seems like Rash's births just drive her deeper into her grief, that her idealized blonde-haired blue-eyed miracle will never exist, and so she has to rush through the milestones and into more transfers to feel something other than pain or numbness. It's almost tragic. I really wish she'd just go to therapy and start working on her unhealthy emotions for the sake of her kids.

This obsession she has with blonde haired, blue eyed children is really bizarre to me. Especially since she holds onto the idea that Brynn would have had blonde hair and blue eyes, and then before Emma was born she was talking about how she was definitely going to be blonde. She seems slightly disappointed that all of them clearly have red hair, which is super strange

[spicy_dreams]

Ok yeah I thought that was the case. But I would've thought that you would stop counting gestation once the foetus has died? So Brynn technically died before 20 weeks but was born after 20 weeks.

I know a few days doesn't really make much difference in the way you feel. It's always going to be devastating. But... And I don't want this to sound really insensitive or cruel, but the way they talk about it, you'd think she died at full term, or after she'd already been born. It's all difficult but losing a baby at full term is different to what is essentially a miscarriage, which is quite common. She uses language like "born sleeping" etc.

I know a woman who lost her baby right as she was about to give birth. I know everybody grieves differently but she hardly ever talks about it publically. I think it really wrecked her but she's come so far in her life despite what happened, especially considering she hasn't got any living children.

Maybe I'm not aware of what "born sleeping" actually means but to me it suggests what I just described, giving birth at full term to a deceased child. Or close to that, 30+ weeks. Not a miscarriage.

If Rachelle is still struggling this much, she needs to go to therapy. She's got three living children, and she's not taking care of her mental health. You can have therapy over the phone these days, and it's not like she can't afford it. It's okay if she's struggling, but I don't think it's appropriate to still be talking about it so much online. She's been using it for YouTube clickbait since it happened ffs. I know they say there's no wrong way to grieve, but I think monopolizing on it for your brand might just be crossing a line.

[Haulnarse]

Stillborn IMO should be counted if the baby could have survived outside of the mom had it been born at that time. So 24-26 weeks. Prior to that it wouldn’t matter if the baby had been born alive as it wouldn’t survive.

Not trying to offend, i just think the criteria/labels need to be changed.

[namalot]

Stillborn IMO should be counted if the baby could have survived outside of the mom had it been born at that time. So 24-26 weeks. Prior to that it wouldn’t matter if the baby had been born alive as it wouldn’t survive.

Not trying to offend, i just think the criteria/labels need to be changed.

This is how its classified in the UK, up to 24 weeks is a miscarriage or late foetal loss, for the exact reason you mention that 24 weeks is the age of viability.

I think the strict definitions are a bit harsh - a few days or weeks doesnt change the pain of a loss - but are in place so when statistics on stillbirth rates are drawn up theres a clear rule which losses are included and which arent.

I agree that Rash needs help to deal with her grief. Living in Brynns shadow will stunt Emma even more, she owes it to her kids to learn how to process!

[Dani_465]

Ok yeah I thought that was the case. But I would've thought that you would stop counting gestation once the foetus has died? So Brynn technically died before 20 weeks but was born after 20 weeks.

I know a few days doesn't really make much difference in the way you feel. It's always going to be devastating. But... And I don't want this to sound really insensitive or cruel, but the way they talk about it, you'd think she died at full term, or after she'd already been born. It's all difficult but losing a baby at full term is different to what is essentially a miscarriage, which is quite common. She uses language like "born sleeping" etc.

I know a woman who lost her baby right as she was about to give birth. I know everybody grieves differently but she hardly ever talks about it publically. I think it really wrecked her but she's come so far in her life despite what happened, especially considering she hasn't got any living children.

Maybe I'm not aware of what "born sleeping" actually means but to me it suggests what I just described, giving birth at full term to a deceased child. Or close to that, 30+ weeks. Not a miscarriage.

If Rachelle is still struggling this much, she needs to go to therapy. She's got three living children, and she's not taking care of her mental health. You can have therapy over the phone these days, and it's not like she can't afford it. It's okay if she's struggling, but I don't think it's appropriate to still be talking about it so much online. She's been using it for YouTube clickbait since it happened ffs. I know they say there's no wrong way to grieve, but I think monopolizing on it for your brand might just be crossing a line.

Yes! I agree trashy carries on like Brynn died at her due date or around then. I mean it’s sad she lost Brynn I would never discount that, but she does milk it for all that it’s worth.

It’s bad enough trashy is emotionally scarring Emma with teaching her kisses are yucky and her face is disgusting and to add your older sister died before she was born. Emma is doomed as long as trashy is unhealthy and without psychiatric care. Emma will need counseling eventually, with her parents she definitely needs it!

[annakapp54]

I feel sorry rash for losing a baby. I lost two babies. One was born at 24 weeks and he dies at two days old. The other one died at 20weeks. I went to therapy for two years after and I still have the odd therapy session. Rash so needs therapy and lots of it cause I think she get pregnant to quick after losing brynn


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[aniraKKarina]

I'm in no way defending Rachelle, but let's not discuss who has the right to grieve and who doesn't. Brynn wouldn't have been able to survive outside the womb, but to them, she was as much their child as she would have been if they'd lost her at 30, 35 or 40 weeks.
The difference between this and a miscarriage is clearly that they got to see her and to hold her. They could count her little fingers and toes, just like they would have if she'd been born alive at full term.

How you grieve is not determined by the number of weeks you get to carry your child before you lose it. It's parents loosing a baby. Period.

Now....how she's handled that grief and how she's milked it for YouTube "fame" is a whole different matter and she's absolutely disgusting.


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[Mammababe111]

Ok yeah I thought that was the case. But I would've thought that you would stop counting gestation once the foetus has died? So Brynn technically died before 20 weeks but was born after 20 weeks.

I know a few days doesn't really make much difference in the way you feel. It's always going to be devastating. But... And I don't want this to sound really insensitive or cruel, but the way they talk about it, you'd think she died at full term, or after she'd already been born. It's all difficult but losing a baby at full term is different to what is essentially a miscarriage, which is quite common. She uses language like "born sleeping" etc.

I know a woman who lost her baby right as she was about to give birth. I know everybody grieves differently but she hardly ever talks about it publically. I think it really wrecked her but she's come so far in her life despite what happened, especially considering she hasn't got any living children.

Maybe I'm not aware of what "born sleeping" actually means but to me it suggests what I just described, giving birth at full term to a deceased child. Or close to that, 30+ weeks. Not a miscarriage.

If Rachelle is still struggling this much, she needs to go to therapy. She's got three living children, and she's not taking care of her mental health. You can have therapy over the phone these days, and it's not like she can't afford it. It's okay if she's struggling, but I don't think it's appropriate to still be talking about it so much online. She's been using it for YouTube clickbait since it happened ffs. I know they say there's no wrong way to grieve, but I think monopolizing on it for your brand might just be crossing a line.

Just in a warning: I have 2 children and currently pregnant with my third. I don’t want people saying I’m insensitive but I am because I have children of my own and I know the love for them. I can’t say her loss wasn’t devastating but she does act like her loss was at full term so I agree with you there. I believe she even had some nursery room stuff set up as well as lots of clothes etc. but if brynn passed before 20 weeks, that’s before her anatomy scan and before most pregnant woman really prepare or buy things for their baby. I think she had a video about packing brynns stuff up. With my children I’ve never really gotten anything or prepared before the 20 week mark. I always wanted to make sure my baby was on the right developmental track and healthy. I think she learned her lesson with the boys and didn’t prep until later but she really waited a longggggg time to prep for them. Her brynn chapter on YouTube is gone, she exposed her enough for views and money and she should still continue to grieve but in private with her family. We do not need to know how she tells her kids about their 19 week old sister.