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Hannah wrote:If you want to know how a narcissistic parent projects the characteristic traits of his/her children and the family dynamic of siblings classified as "golden child" and "scapegoat", then you are watching it form in this family. Tommy is the "bad" or "trouble" child. He's NOT, but he's already being set up and essentially trained to feel that way about himself, and that means his brothers are being trained to view him that way, too. Set up is key, here. She's putting him in situations which pretty much guarantee that he will fulfill that role in the family by being left alone and having access to things he shouldn't. She's setting him up to fail, which results in her nasty attitude toward him when he does, and this is such a shitty thing to do to a child! NONE of this is his fault. He's a perfectly normal toddler with very little supervision, or they want it to appear that way for some reason - which is even worse, imo. Why complain about your child on social media? How degrading and disrespectful for that child! I don't have an Instagram account, so I only see what you all post here and talk about, but it seems like they want people to know or believe the narrative that Tommy is out of control (and what two year old isn't?). This is Ellie (and I'm guessing Jared, too, right?) telling the world that she sees Tommy as a problem and an inconvenience. What a witch. Those sweet boys deserve so much better. Where's Calvin, by the way? Anyone talking about him, lately? Any guess who is being created as the golden child? It's NOT Calvin.
As a teacher I would get parents tell me what a terror their child was. I would always say can’t be any worse than mine. No explanation about mine, but my tone would shut them up. I never had a student I would classify as a terror. Toddlers are busy exploring their world. Either you explore with them or you can pay the price. We see which path Ellie and Jared are taking.
imoverit wrote:
They're from Logan, UT. First they lived in a quite small townhome/apartment type thing and had no kids, and started their channel as an infertility journey sort of thing. Then they had Jackson (was it through IVF?) and they moved to a little bit larger townhome (3 bedrooms I think) and had Calvin with no infertility treatment soon after. They got big on youtube and so they built themselves a house in Logan, which we call the ice palace and was boring and unnecessarily big (5 bedrooms and a big bonus room, two family rooms, huge garage). Ellie had 2 miscarriages I believe, then they had Tommy.
Recently, after living in northern Utah for her entire life and deciding to build their forever home there, Ellie suddenly realized it's too cold! Something she apparently didn't consider when she went along building this "forever home" with Jared. Side note, Ellie constantly wants something to be wrong with her and has had multiple hormone therapy kicks but can never seem to figure out why she gets headaches and is so tired (it isn't a problem when she's on vacation or away from the kids though). Although she has a terrible diet and food issues, doesn't wear her glasses, etc. but refuses to believe this is related to her problems.
So because she was cold, Ellie convinced Jared they should move away from his family and her family and live in St George, UT, of course building their own home again because Ellie will have no less than what she thinks she deserves (this one is the 'sand castle'!). Now they live somewhere where for a good part of the year it is too hot to go outside. Jared is a pushover and she likely throws tantrums if she doesn't immediately get what she wants so he goes along with her whims. They are living in a rental house while they build. So it's been townhouse rental, townhouse rental, built a home, house rental, another built home, all in Utah and over 6-7 years or so. Like someone else said, Ellie waits for the next material possession or diagnosis to make her happy, it works for a certain amount of time, and then she is unhappy again and onto the next thing.
I believe she only started the IVF process... if memory serves, they didn't actually need to do anything which leads me to believe they didn't know how it worked lol
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They had started IUI, and weren’t anywhere close to trying IVF yet. It’s an easy things to assume however, because Ellie NEVER corrects people who mention her doing IVF. She wants that to be a part of her history for the extra sympathy.
Jared posted a pic of he, Ellie and the kids with the caption: “When your family are your best buddies.
Okay, but can we also admire the perfect weather? We are in Heaven everyday.”
If they were truly happy he wouldn’t always be trying to get people to envy him. He wouldn’t have to constantly say how happy he is. I’ll admit I’m not one to ever engage in social media PDA, but am I alone in thinking he just screams insecurity in his posts?
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No. You're not alone. This reminds me of Bonnie's recent vlog where she and Joel were eating lunch and she kissed him after every bite. That screams insecurity to me as well. If you have to set up a camera to show everyone how happy you are, you're probably not.
131618 wrote:I believe she only started the IVF process... if memory serves, they didn't actually need to do anything which leads me to believe they didn't know how it worked lol
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They had started IUI, and weren’t anywhere close to trying IVF yet. It’s an easy things to assume however, because Ellie NEVER corrects people who mention her doing IVF. She wants that to be a part of her history for the extra sympathy.
Jared posted a pic of he, Ellie and the kids with the caption: “When your family are your best buddies.
Okay, but can we also admire the perfect weather? We are in Heaven everyday.”
If they were truly happy he wouldn’t always be trying to get people to envy him. He wouldn’t have to constantly say how happy he is. I’ll admit I’m not one to ever engage in social media PDA, but am I alone in thinking he just screams insecurity in his posts?
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No. You're not alone. This reminds me of Bonnie's recent vlog where she and Joel were eating lunch and she kissed him after every bite. That screams insecurity to me as well. If you have to set up a camera to show everyone how happy you are, you're probably not.
Exactly! The kissing in between bites was not cute, it was seriously, and pathetically, needy.
Hannah wrote: ↑Fri Oct 16, 2020 8:03 pm
If you want to know how a narcissistic parent projects the characteristic traits of his/her children and the family dynamic of siblings classified as "golden child" and "scapegoat", then you are watching it form in this family. Tommy is the "bad" or "trouble" child. He's NOT, but he's already being set up and essentially trained to feel that way about himself, and that means his brothers are being trained to view him that way, too. Set up is key, here. She's putting him in situations which pretty much guarantee that he will fulfill that role in the family by being left alone and having access to things he shouldn't. She's setting him up to fail, which results in her nasty attitude toward him when he does, and this is such a shitty thing to do to a child! NONE of this is his fault. He's a perfectly normal toddler with very little supervision, or they want it to appear that way for some reason - which is even worse, imo. Why complain about your child on social media? How degrading and disrespectful for that child! I don't have an Instagram account, so I only see what you all post here and talk about, but it seems like they want people to know or believe the narrative that Tommy is out of control (and what two year old isn't?). This is Ellie (and I'm guessing Jared, too, right?) telling the world that she sees Tommy as a problem and an inconvenience. What a witch. Those sweet boys deserve so much better. Where's Calvin, by the way? Anyone talking about him, lately? Any guess who is being created as the golden child? It's NOT Calvin.
This is very true and so so sad. I don’t know what Tommy has possibly done to make Ellie do this to him, he can hardly even talk yet. I find him to be the cutest of his siblings and of all the cousins. I guess maybe she’s growing resentful of him because he’s a normal toddler who requires attention and energy from his parents, and Ellie is literally incapable of providing those things because she needs to be in bed all day long. So she uses him to show people how hard her life is I guess? She’s a monster and she doesn’t deserve Tommy at all. She should have stopped at two kids, tops, because she can’t handle more (although I’m glad that Tommy exists).
Hannah wrote: ↑Fri Oct 16, 2020 8:03 pm
If you want to know how a narcissistic parent projects the characteristic traits of his/her children and the family dynamic of siblings classified as "golden child" and "scapegoat", then you are watching it form in this family. Tommy is the "bad" or "trouble" child. He's NOT, but he's already being set up and essentially trained to feel that way about himself, and that means his brothers are being trained to view him that way, too. Set up is key, here. She's putting him in situations which pretty much guarantee that he will fulfill that role in the family by being left alone and having access to things he shouldn't. She's setting him up to fail, which results in her nasty attitude toward him when he does, and this is such a shitty thing to do to a child! NONE of this is his fault. He's a perfectly normal toddler with very little supervision, or they want it to appear that way for some reason - which is even worse, imo. Why complain about your child on social media? How degrading and disrespectful for that child! I don't have an Instagram account, so I only see what you all post here and talk about, but it seems like they want people to know or believe the narrative that Tommy is out of control (and what two year old isn't?). This is Ellie (and I'm guessing Jared, too, right?) telling the world that she sees Tommy as a problem and an inconvenience. What a witch. Those sweet boys deserve so much better. Where's Calvin, by the way? Anyone talking about him, lately? Any guess who is being created as the golden child? It's NOT Calvin.
This is very true and so so sad. I don’t know what Tommy has possibly done to make Ellie do this to him, he can hardly even talk yet. I find him to be the cutest of his siblings and of all the cousins. I guess maybe she’s growing resentful of him because he’s a normal toddler who requires attention and energy from his parents, and Ellie is literally incapable of providing those things because she needs to be in bed all day long. So she uses him to show people how hard her life is I guess? She’s a monster and she doesn’t deserve Tommy at all. She should have stopped at two kids, tops, because she can’t handle more (although I’m glad that Tommy exists).
He had the audacity to be born a boy instead of her much desired girl.
A few months ago Ellie started making comments about maybe being done having kids because Tommy is too much. I’m sure Jared has said it is t a great idea to have another baby right now and Ellie resents Tommy for that. He is the reason she’d love to escape to her bedroom with another pregnancy, but he’s also the reason it may not happen. Jackson makes her life easier so he’s clearly her golden child. Calvin appears to be invisible because he makes few demands of her and just seems to keep to himself.
There is nothing more devastating than typecasting your children from day one. I have very personal experience with this (I'm an only child so it's not directly with me) and the results have been horrible. I feel I can barely read this thread anymore because of how awful it is to do this to a child, knowing what I do. I wish they could see it before it's too late.
Sorry, a rather grim post.
Here is their neighborhood and lot for the curious. I still think it’s an odd area to choose in all of st George. If they really wanted to appear wealthy, they could have built in the exclusive mountain community of Stone Cliff.
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Sippinda_tea69 wrote:Here is their neighborhood and lot for the curious. I still think it’s an odd area to choose in all of st George. If they really wanted to appear wealthy, they could have built in the exclusive mountain community of Stone Cliff.
This is so crazy to me. The nicest neighborhood in my county sells lots for $18,000-$24,000. There aren’t any million dollar homes on it, but they range from about $300k-$600k. The fact that people pay over $100,000 for a lot that’s not waterfront, has no view, is nothing spectacular is so nutty to me lol.
Gotta keep up with Bryan and Missy. Keep the facade of wealth going.
It's ridiculous. Especially with so many people suffering and struggling to make ends meet because of Covid-19.
Sippinda_tea69 wrote:Here is their neighborhood and lot for the curious. I still think it’s an odd area to choose in all of st George. If they really wanted to appear wealthy, they could have built in the exclusive mountain community of Stone Cliff.
This is so crazy to me. The nicest neighborhood in my county sells lots for $18,000-$24,000. There aren’t any million dollar homes on it, but they range from about $300k-$600k. The fact that people pay over $100,000 for a lot that’s not waterfront, has no view, is nothing spectacular is so nutty to me lol.
I agree. Even though it’s a nice neighborhood, that is so much money to pay for a lot that is nothing special. Even looking at the local st George lot market there is so much better (view, near a lake, newer area) for the same price. My sis lives in st George and she said they chose the area with the worst traffic too. A new temple is being built nearby and there’s only one road in and out.
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Seeing all the tennis courts makes me think Ellie saw them and was "this is where I belong!"
The thing is that generally people who can afford million dollar homes _generally_ are pretty well educated. Ellie is NOT going to fit in. She isn't stupid, I think, but willfully ignorant. Which is worse than being stupid.
Sippinda_tea69 wrote:Here is their neighborhood and lot for the curious. I still think it’s an odd area to choose in all of st George. If they really wanted to appear wealthy, they could have built in the exclusive mountain community of Stone Cliff.
This is so crazy to me. The nicest neighborhood in my county sells lots for $18,000-$24,000. There aren’t any million dollar homes on it, but they range from about $300k-$600k. The fact that people pay over $100,000 for a lot that’s not waterfront, has no view, is nothing spectacular is so nutty to me lol.
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There were a couple of nice lots with views they've shown in vlogs, but they couldn't see the potential and instead picked out a flat no view lot. Now they'll have a view of their neighbor's garage...lovely. I agree, this is nutty. To me it looks like a developer or builder finally got rid of this flat lot.
nutbagmcgee wrote:That house is a hot mess! I bet it is stinky and dirty. The state of this house proves that she had cleaners at the other house!
Back in the winter when Ellie was wanting to move she starting posting IG stories showing how best up their house had become. The fireplace hearth was all scratched and beat up. There were holes in the drywall in the basement and garage and the carpets and rugs were stained.
Not watching the kids and teaching them to respect the home really accelerates it’s aging. Jared isn’t handy at all, so he isn’t able to maintain it. They let the kids sled down the stairs, beat up the railings with the apparent mindset they will just move to another new home when the house doesn’t feel new anymore.
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Either that or it was really shitty materials used.
Sippinda_tea69 wrote: ↑Sun Oct 18, 2020 11:26 am
Here is their neighborhood and lot for the curious. I still think it’s an odd area to choose in all of st George. If they really wanted to appear wealthy, they could have built in the exclusive mountain community of Stone Cliff.
sorry if i'm being dumb and missed something obvious, but their videos clearly show a corner lot, which none of those are.. are you sure that's the right neighborhood?
lmmomSD wrote: ↑Sun Oct 18, 2020 1:28 pm
Gotta keep up with Bryan and Missy. Keep the facade of wealth going.
It's ridiculous. Especially with so many people suffering and struggling to make ends meet because of Covid-19.
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Their decision shouldn't have anything to do with others who are struggling due to anything, including covid. However, I do think it is crazy to spend that kind of money when your job is one that has already seen a drastic decline in revenue. I would much rather spend less on a house and save to make sure we are financially secure and travel.
lmmomSD wrote: ↑Sun Oct 18, 2020 1:28 pm
Gotta keep up with Bryan and Missy. Keep the facade of wealth going.
It's ridiculous. Especially with so many people suffering and struggling to make ends meet because of Covid-19.
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Their decision shouldn't have anything to do with others who are struggling due to anything, including covid. However, I do think it is crazy to spend that kind of money when your job is one that has already seen a drastic decline in revenue. I would much rather spend less on a house and save to make sure we are financially secure and travel.
You're right that their decision shouldn't be based on whether or not others are struggling. But the breathless showing-off of conspicuous consumption is tone deaf.
Sippinda_tea69 wrote: ↑Sun Oct 18, 2020 11:26 am
Here is their neighborhood and lot for the curious. I still think it’s an odd area to choose in all of st George. If they really wanted to appear wealthy, they could have built in the exclusive mountain community of Stone Cliff.
sorry if i'm being dumb and missed something obvious, but their videos clearly show a corner lot, which none of those are.. are you sure that's the right neighborhood?
The aerial picture of the homes isn't the exact street they purchased the lot, but the area is correct with the home values that include pools and tennis courts. The lot is on a right-turning street/corner lot that leads to a cul-de-sac.
lmmomSD wrote: ↑Sun Oct 18, 2020 1:28 pm
Gotta keep up with Bryan and Missy. Keep the facade of wealth going.
It's ridiculous. Especially with so many people suffering and struggling to make ends meet because of Covid-19.
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Their decision shouldn't have anything to do with others who are struggling due to anything, including covid. However, I do think it is crazy to spend that kind of money when your job is one that has already seen a drastic decline in revenue. I would much rather spend less on a house and save to make sure we are financially secure and travel.
You're right that their decision shouldn't be based on whether or not others are struggling. But the breathless showing-off of conspicuous consumption is tone deaf.
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YouTubers are the poster child for Keeping up with the Jones. The amount of showing off can cost them subs especially during a pandemic where many are suffering economically. I've never seen a more envious or jealous group of people (YouTubers) measuring their success by seeing what other YouTubers have->their so-called friends. YouTubers have gone from average income to having money/wealthy lifestyles and now back to average income earners. Some may lose everything before working hard again at a regular job.