8 Passengers: No beds, no food, but mom loves motherhood! | Part 18

[Happy+Charlie]

Just had a thought, I wonder if the purpose of isolating the girls is so that they are more dependent on finding a boy to bond with for early marriage. Clearly, there are many girl clicks in the mormom community, just the Griffith grand kids never seem to be a part of one cause they have their siblings, maybe they set it up this way for a reason. Shari's countdown to turning 18 is ticking, and based on Ruby rules, she will be booted out of the house to figure it out on her own.

[Josette]

So between celebrating birthdays without Shari and her not being included with the sneakers, etc for the dance, Shari has no place. Like the above poster said I hope she uses college as a time and place to find herself and her people.


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That is sad. I feel bad for her, because Ruby and Kevin have encouraged this "I'm better than everyone" attitude that Shari has, and it's going to make it difficult for her to find friends at college as well. She's going to have to _want_ to make friends and put forth an actual effort to be nicer and not so snide. And that is going to be hard for her.
Ruby and Kevin really set her up.

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While I'm not a fan of Shari, I do hope that at some point she's introduced to the subreddit, r/raisedbynarcissists. It's a support group on reddit for those who have a parent or parents like Ruby & Kevin. Hopefully Chad will find out about this too so they'll know that they aren't the only ones with toxic parents, especially Ruby because she's far more toxic than Kevin.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

Just had a thought, I wonder if the purpose of isolating the girls is so that they are more dependent on finding a boy to bond with for early marriage. Clearly, there are many girl clicks in the mormom community, just the Griffith grand kids never seem to be a part of one cause they have their siblings, maybe they set it up this way for a reason. Shari's countdown to turning 18 is ticking, and based on Ruby rules, she will be booted out of the house to figure it out on her own.

Except that Shari is the only kid not being isolated. She has free access to electronics, money and transportation, unlike any other kid in the family. The social situation she is in, is entirely of her own doing (if you ignore the fact that her parents made her so insufferable). Also, I am starting to wonder if that Griffiths mantra that "the only people you need are your siblings", is less of a mandate for isolation, and more of a justification for having no friends. They are certainly a strange and unpleasant lot.

[imoverit]

Poor Shari. Not only did that girl seemingly make a boutonniere for everyone but her, they didn't tell her that all the couples bought and decorated matching sneakers for each other. I have never seen those girls before, I wonder if Shari was randomly assigned to their homecoming group by the school and they weren't particularly happy about it.

I hope Shari takes college as an opportunity to start fresh and shed all the toxicity her mother has instilled in her. Life can get pretty lonely without any friends.

It seemed like it was meant to be her friend group, she was definitely friends with the Ellie girl. She seemed a little uncomfortable filming around everyone, I wonder if Ruby told her she had to. It was very bad quality and I thought a weird video to upload. I would love to know how Shari is viewed among her friends and peers.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

Poor Shari. Not only did that girl seemingly make a boutonniere for everyone but her, they didn't tell her that all the couples bought and decorated matching sneakers for each other. I have never seen those girls before, I wonder if Shari was randomly assigned to their homecoming group by the school and they weren't particularly happy about it.

I hope Shari takes college as an opportunity to start fresh and shed all the toxicity her mother has instilled in her. Life can get pretty lonely without any friends.

It seemed like it was meant to be her friend group, she was definitely friends with the Ellie girl. She seemed a little uncomfortable filming around everyone, I wonder if Ruby told her she had to. It was very bad quality and I thought a weird video to upload. I would love to know how Shari is viewed among her friends and peers.

If those were really her friends it is even worse that they left her out! I got the opposite impression, but I overanalyze everything. (Proceed at your own risk!)

It was just so awkward and seemed like Shari was desperately reaching for common ground. There are only like 50 kids in her class, so she could easily be familiar enough with them to know that the hostess bakes, or that Ellie always shows up late, just by seeing them every day for 4 yrs. Everything she mentioned about the hostess (Shara?) was regarding things set out in front of her in the room, and she had nothing to say to, or about, any of the other girls. She must have had at least an hour to kill in all that awkwardness before Ellie showed up, so it is reasonable she would have asked about the big bear in the corner, her dress, etc.

Her backhanded compliment/aborted chastising of Ellie's punctuality was very carefully worded, saying that if she knows anything about Ellie....."in the 4 years of going to high school with her", which is the verbal equivalent of putting a fence between them. If they were legitimate friends, a normal person would say "in the 4 years we've been friends" or even the less committal "in the 4 years we've known each other". I do wonder what she bungled so badly the first time she tried to get it out, that she had to do a second take and a long pause. I think that Shari just seemed friendlier with Ellie because Ellie is a friendlier (and more laid back) person. The whole room erupted into a joyful "Ellie!!" when she showed up.

I think it is possible that Ruby made her film this. She mentioned that the second homecoming installment would be on her own channel, so it is like she owed this footage to her Mom. It also doesn't make sense that these girls would snub her on all the other pre-dance group activities, then welcome her over to the house to find out. It reeks of parental or school involvement. Then again, Shari is an exceptionally odd duck, so maybe this is just how she interacts with her friends, or this is how Mormon teens interact? Pretty darn cold by the standards I grew up with.

Honestly, I am not sure any of the Griffiths are socially aware enough to recognize a friend in the first place. They all seem to think anybody they pay money to is a friend, like nannies, hired print models, hair dressers and construction workers. Even little Eve was caught paying kids to be her friends in Kindergarden.

[lmmomSD]

Granted, my high school days are long past. But the Mormon kids I hung out with wouldn't treat each other like that.
But, there was a very cliquey group from a more well-off area. I went to some dances at the Temple with my high school best friend, and those girls were bitches. Everything was about having perfect hair and expensive clothes. Like Mean Girls without the sex. They probably would have been bitches even if they weren't Mormon.

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[Kattiness Everdeen]

Granted, my high school days are long past. But the Mormon kids I hung out with wouldn't treat each other like that.
But, there was a very cliquey group from a more well-off area. I went to some dances at the Temple with my high school best friend, and those girls were bitches. Everything was about having perfect hair and expensive clothes. Like Mean Girls without the sex. They probably would have been bitches even if they weren't Mormon.

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I have said it before, but I have never seen religion transform someone into a good person. You find garbage people everywhere.

Religion was not a significant part of people's core identity in the city I grew up in, and we had the same bitchy cliques (with the sex). Very diverse bitchy cliques at that. A Quaker-Jew was the ringleader in my grade, and had a girl in her group whose mother was a Catholic nun. My city was completely devoid of Mormons though, so the only real-life examples I have been exposed to are (terrifyingly) vloggers. The church ran so many ads that I could probably still recite them from childhood memory, but they were never able to breech that 90's cult stigma in our region of the NE. So your personal experience is far better than mine.

[destroyedbythesun]

Just had a thought, I wonder if the purpose of isolating the girls is so that they are more dependent on finding a boy to bond with for early marriage. Clearly, there are many girl clicks in the mormom community, just the Griffith grand kids never seem to be a part of one cause they have their siblings, maybe they set it up this way for a reason. Shari's countdown to turning 18 is ticking, and based on Ruby rules, she will be booted out of the house to figure it out on her own.

Except that Shari is the only kid not being isolated. She has free access to electronics, money and transportation, unlike any other kid in the family. The social situation she is in, is entirely of her own doing (if you ignore the fact that her parents made her so insufferable). Also, I am starting to wonder if that Griffiths mantra that "the only people you need are your siblings", is less of a mandate for isolation, and more of a justification for having no friends. They are certainly a strange and unpleasant lot.

In a video a long time ago, I forget if it was Ruby or another one of the Griffiths clan but someone alluded to "the only people you need are your siblings". Someone said something like that and your comment made me remember it. I thought it was really odd. Ruby and Kevin have done so much to sabotage their kids friendships.

[Tiger27]

If i remember correctly, Shari said in some Covid vlog that it was up in the air and switched back and forth like three times if she’d even be allowed to go to homecoming because the family’s quarantine kept getting reset as more tested positive. She told the guys she was going with like 3 times they were off then back on to go. It’s possible she didn’t get the extra stuff because they thought she wasn’t allowed to come. I wouldn’t have anted her there if her family was still crawling in covid germs, whether she personally was cleared or not.


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[Happy+Charlie]

Just had a thought, I wonder if the purpose of isolating the girls is so that they are more dependent on finding a boy to bond with for early marriage. Clearly, there are many girl clicks in the mormom community, just the Griffith grand kids never seem to be a part of one cause they have their siblings, maybe they set it up this way for a reason. Shari's countdown to turning 18 is ticking, and based on Ruby rules, she will be booted out of the house to figure it out on her own.

Except that Shari is the only kid not being isolated. She has free access to electronics, money and transportation, unlike any other kid in the family. The social situation she is in, is entirely of her own doing (if you ignore the fact that her parents made her so insufferable). Also, I am starting to wonder if that Griffiths mantra that "the only people you need are your siblings", is less of a mandate for isolation, and more of a justification for having no friends. They are certainly a strange and unpleasant lot.

I may have worded that incorrectly. Isolated was the wrong word, although the younger ones are definitely isolated. I do mean what you said, that they are taught siblings are the only friends you need. Yes, Shari is given more freedom and opportunity than her siblings, but, she is still stunted when it comes to friends due to Ruby and Kevin's ways. Once she is out of the house (won't be long, lol), she'll grab on to a guy because she has nobody else and marriage won't be far behind.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

If i remember correctly, Shari said in some Covid vlog that it was up in the air and switched back and forth like three times if she’d even be allowed to go to homecoming because the family’s quarantine kept getting reset as more tested positive. She told the guys she was going with like 3 times they were off then back on to go. It’s possible she didn’t get the extra stuff because they thought she wasn’t allowed to come. I wouldn’t have anted her there if her family was still crawling in covid germs, whether she personally was cleared or not.


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Excellent point! I totally forgot she was the Typhoid Mary of her school. I wonder if her classmates agree with her family flexing their "freedom" by going maskless and not letting mass global deaths get in the way of their right to a facially animated deadlift or to breath on the workers during donut Fridays. I know it's Utah, but I can't imagine EVERY kid comes from a family so ignorant and callous. She had been given her that pep-talk on how she should not be blamed, so maybe the girls initially refused to take her in to their homecoming group, and the school and/or Ruby intervened. Can't say I blame the girls if true.

I am starting to wonder if her classmates even keep up with them on SM though. Shari has been pretty vocal on vlogs about how much she thinks her volleyball teammates suck, and once publicly blamed them for losing their tournament. Even Ruby was taken aback. Shari's justification was that she didn't name the players, so they don't know which ones she is talking about Yet, here she is, graduating captain of the team. If that was my public school, she probably would have been kicked off altogether for such poor sportsmanship, and certainly not given the honor of the captain title.

YT also had me watch Shari rat Chad out to Ruby for watching Titanic (apparently there is nudity?), and express her exceptional piousness by noting she walked out of Jumanji (I thought it was a kids movie?). I also noticed that the girls on her volleyball team wear normal shorts, so all Shari's complaints that they didn't manufacture appropriate length shorts for her school stand out now. We know she also refused to go to school dances until she was 16 because of the same dating standard every other Mormon girl is faced with. I stand by my initial prediction that most people probably find her insufferable. What kid wants to hang out with a tiny judgmental narc? Even Ruby was like, "maybe Chad just wanted to see what the girl looked like", in response to Shari's anger/exasperation at Chad watching those Titanic scenes. Shari's response: "wait for health class". A bucket of fun that one!

[lmmomSD]

Wasn't there some rumors that she was pretty universally disliked at the public school she went to? Plus, she has talked about being singled out for "special treatment" by teachers.
I agree that Shari probably is an insufferable narc (as in narcing out other kids, not narcissistic). But I still blame Kevin and Ruby for reinforcing the behavior. She's had to parent her siblings, and probably got rewarded for being a tattletale. Those Griffiths really screw up their kids.

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[Kattiness Everdeen]

Wasn't there some rumors that she was pretty universally disliked at the public school she went to? Plus, she has talked about being singled out for "special treatment" by teachers.
I agree that Shari probably is an insufferable narc (as in narcing out other kids, not narcissistic). But I still blame Kevin and Ruby for reinforcing the behavior. She's had to parent her siblings, and probably got rewarded for being a tattletale. Those Griffiths really screw up their kids.

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Ruby and Shari have openly talked about her having a hard time with the girls at the public school, painting a pretty clear picture that Shari was disliked (even if they didn't say those words). So I don't know if it is a "rumor" per say. They definitely tried to present it as Shari just being a better person then they are, and that they drag her down. I wonder if Shari's aggressive pushes to be the most pious Mormon, the smartest, the best athlete, etc. is grounded in the fact that she has convinced herself that her social difficulties are simply because she is "the best". If people see she is not perfect, that would prove that people dislike her because her behavior is awful and not because she is better than them. She never seems to have issues with the boys though. Perhaps an extension of her issues with her parents. She is horrendously awful to her mother (can't blame her), and constantly trying to win her father's affections.

At the private school, the social issues with her peers are purely observation and speculation. However, I would be really surprised if she has made any friends after trashing their athletic ability on the vlogs and judging their religious piety. As you noted, she constantly chases the approval and affection of the male role models in her life, striving to be the ultimate teacher's pet. She eats lunch with male teachers, gets special birthday cards from them that they force the class to sign, engages in excessive physical activity to be near them, lies about reading to impress them, texts them so much over the summer she (rightfully) gets ghosted by them, etc. She was even planning to go on an international trip with one this summer. She once explicitly referred to her teacher as a father figure in her life. R&K are damn lucky she is focused on getting positive attention right now, or she could really do some damage.

Shari just paints a picture of a bitter lonely life where only Dwight cares about her, which is valid based on what we see. Thank god Ruby needed an "IG dog" for sponsorships, because that is the only unconditional love these poor kids feel. Shari could be a completely different person if Kevin just gave her the attention she is crying out for, or Ruby didn't make her do her narcissistic bidding (I did mean Shari was a narc as in tattle-tale, and not narcissism, unlike her mother). Totally agree the Griffiths royally screw up their kids. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction. I still have hope that Shari could go away for college, learn about how the rest of the world lives, and shed her toxic childhood. It is probably her last chance at breaking the cycle.

[destroyedbythesun]

Wasn't there some rumors that she was pretty universally disliked at the public school she went to? Plus, she has talked about being singled out for "special treatment" by teachers.
I agree that Shari probably is an insufferable narc (as in narcing out other kids, not narcissistic). But I still blame Kevin and Ruby for reinforcing the behavior. She's had to parent her siblings, and probably got rewarded for being a tattletale. Those Griffiths really screw up their kids.

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Ruby and Shari have openly talked about her having a hard time with the girls at the public school, painting a pretty clear picture that Shari was disliked (even if they didn't say those words). So I don't know if it is a "rumor" per say. They definitely tried to present it as Shari just being a better person then they are, and that they drag her down. I wonder if Shari's aggressive pushes to be the most pious Mormon, the smartest, the best athlete, etc. is grounded in the fact that she has convinced herself that her social difficulties are simply because she is "the best". If people see she is not perfect, that would prove that people dislike her because her behavior is awful and not because she is better than them. She never seems to have issues with the boys though. Perhaps an extension of her issues with her parents. She is horrendously awful to her mother (can't blame her), and constantly trying to win her father's affections.

At the private school, the social issues with her peers are purely observation and speculation. However, I would be really surprised if she has made any friends after trashing their athletic ability on the vlogs and judging their religious piety. As you noted, she constantly chases the approval and affection of the male role models in her life, striving to be the ultimate teacher's pet. She eats lunch with male teachers, gets special birthday cards from them that they force the class to sign, engages in excessive physical activity to be near them, lies about reading to impress them, texts them so much over the summer she (rightfully) gets ghosted by them, etc. She was even planning to go on an international trip with one this summer. She once explicitly referred to her teacher as a father figure in her life. R&K are damn lucky she is focused on getting positive attention right now, or she could really do some damage.

Shari just paints a picture of a bitter lonely life where only Dwight cares about her, which is valid based on what we see. Thank god Ruby needed an "IG dog" for sponsorships, because that is the only unconditional love these poor kids feel. Shari could be a completely different person if Kevin just gave her the attention she is crying out for, or Ruby didn't make her do her narcissistic bidding (I did mean Shari was a narc as in tattle-tale, and not narcissism, unlike her mother). Totally agree the Griffiths royally screw up their kids. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction. I still have hope that Shari could go away for college, learn about how the rest of the world lives, and shed her toxic childhood. It is probably her last chance at breaking the cycle.

I found a comment a while back from a girl who went to public school with Shari and knew her as an acquaintance. Some how this post slipped through the cracks of their channel. She stated that Shari had a small group of friends which she tried to control (much like her mother). The other girls stood up to her and told her they aren’t going to be told what to do. Shari went to her mother and they took it as bullying. Shortly after they made the switch to private school and bashed public school online as being below them. The girl has one encounter with Shari and described her as being passive aggressive.

Another peek into her personality is her video, "TAKING ONLINE FOOD QUIZZES" at 8:38 she asks herself the question "pick one word to describe yourself. Minimalist? Fun?" She then says, "I'm not fun. I'm not a fun person." I think college will be a rude awaking for her.

[boychik0830]

What does everyone think of today's vlog?

[rulatows000]

What does everyone think of today's vlog?

There's really not much to talk about. She had all the kids reading the same book again and then going to the aquatic center. I'm confused as to why Abby is involved in the group reading and going to the aquatic center. They said before that she's doing the private school online. I'm assuming that would probably take up a lot of her time and it just seems weird that Ruby would be taking her away from that to read some children's book and to go swimming and to go on all their field trips and stuff. Just hoping she's not falling behind with Ruby probably not monitoring her progress and then dragging her into all the homeschooling stuff, too. Of course, if she wants to be involved in some extra stuff that's alright. But her online school should be her priority and just because she's still at home shouldn't mean that she has to do both virtual school and homeschool at the same time.

Also, what is with this ham and bean soup that Ruby keeps talking about. Has anyone here tried it before? To me it just sounds nasty. I don't know, maybe that's just because I don't like ham and maybe it actually is good. But it just doesn't strike me as a meal that children and teens would enjoy all that much.

[Kattiness Everdeen]

What does everyone think of today's vlog?

Ruby is delusional. She liked swimming with only Eve and Julie because "they're kinda gittin' it a little bit faster"? Does she think she really think she can teach swimming to a kid on swim team who is already faster than her at 11? I love that Julie is confident enough to say that she beat her mom, rather than let Ruby tell viewers it was a tie. Of course Ruby had to say that Julie won because she is an inch taller. That "exercise" she made Eve do where she stood up and stuck her arm up in the air to breathe looked insane. She probably needs to hire a swim instructor for her kids if she ever wants Eve and Russell to finally learn after all these years. She has all the time and money in the world to get them Olympic ready if she felt like it.

I am also surprised to hear parents send their kids to play with Eve and Russell at COVID house. The fact that Ruby felt she had to say that Abby was home sick with "nothing contagious" makes me suspicious. Also, I doubt Ruby would have built a giant sand pit for the neighborhood kids to play in, and we know it is too small for a volley ball court, so what do you think it's for?

It was nice to see that the Tooth Fairy visited Eve. There was a time when the kids would have their tooth under their pillow for weeks before she got around to it, which might be why Eve wasn't all the excited or eager to check. I guess there is a plus side to Ruby's homeschool high. It isn't all about sleeping in, 2 baths a day, shopping, naps and self-care anymore. I wonder how long that will last.

[emma2948]

Speaking of Shari, I wonder if she will do one of those college acceptance videos that a ton of other kids her age does when going to college?

[boychik0830]

Speaking of Shari, I wonder if she will do one of those college acceptance videos that a ton of other kids her age does when going to college?

There's no point in doing that as we already know she is going to the mormon college byu to please her parents. I bet all of the other kids if they are capable of going to college will be going to byu too.

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[Kattiness Everdeen]

What does everyone think of today's vlog?

There's really not much to talk about. She had all the kids reading the same book again and then going to the aquatic center. I'm confused as to why Abby is involved in the group reading and going to the aquatic center. They said before that she's doing the private school online. I'm assuming that would probably take up a lot of her time and it just seems weird that Ruby would be taking her away from that to read some children's book and to go swimming and to go on all their field trips and stuff. Just hoping she's not falling behind with Ruby probably not monitoring her progress and then dragging her into all the homeschooling stuff, too. Of course, if she wants to be involved in some extra stuff that's alright. But her online school should be her priority and just because she's still at home shouldn't mean that she has to do both virtual school and homeschool at the same time.

Also, what is with this ham and bean soup that Ruby keeps talking about. Has anyone here tried it before? To me it just sounds nasty. I don't know, maybe that's just because I don't like ham and maybe it actually is good. But it just doesn't strike me as a meal that children and teens would enjoy all that much.

Ruby mentioned before that Abby's school is only a couple of times a week, and the other days she could do whatever she wants at "Ruby school". Makes you wonder how good that private Mormon school is if they don't have school every day. You'd think Abby would at least have work to complete, even if there weren't online classes every day. Perhaps she does, but it doesn't fit Ruby's filming schedule so she just tells her she can only do her schoolwork on days she has classes, or throws out her homework like she did with Russell.

Bean and Bacon soup sounds nasty, which is probably why Campbell's discontinued the large can. Ruby claimed that Julie requested it for a birthday dinner once, so I guess the kids like it. Maybe it was just one of those common narc manipulations, "what do you want for your special dinner, something super easy for mom like canned soup from the pantry....wink, wink". I pretended to like many foods I'd rather not eat to keep my own mother happy. And that yearly question, "do I have to get you a birthday cake?". There is really only one way you can answer that question as a child of a narcissist, for the scapegoat at least. I wonder if Ruby pulls that with Chad; we haven't gotten a Chad birthday vlog in a long time.