jrockjoy wrote:Mandbtrue6 wrote:I definitely do not believe there was any physical abuse going on ... she has let him come to the house a few times now to visit the kids... if there was abuse I guarantee there would be a restraining order of some kind on him. Even if he had “anger issues” (which again I don’t see that at all) she can still file for a restraining order with temporary custody if she feels threatened at all. I’m pretty sure it’s just petty shit they are fighting about but with Alyssa being there it got bigger than normal. I really do not think they are done. I’m guessing just a small break. And ate most likely won’t let any of us know exactly what was going on
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This is not the best assumption to make. I’ve never personally been in a physically abusive relationship, but I’ve witnessed a lot of very close people be in physically abusive relationships, including my mother. Someone who has fallen for an abusive partner is usually not able to rationalize like you just did when it comes to staying away. I’ve watched family and friends go back to the same person that just beat the shit out of them just a few weeks prior. It makes no sense, but it’s the reality of a lot of families and people in unstable relationships.
I’m not saying for sure he hit her, but I don’t think we can automatically slide that off the table just because she let him visit a couple times to see the kids...
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This. The core of most, if not all, abusive relationships is power and control. Long before physical abuse there is always gaslighting, manipulation, isolation, verbal and emotional abuse etc. and unless you have been in an abusive relationship it really doesn’t make sense as to why people don’t just leave, or why they keep going back to that person. The abusive party always comes back with “I’m so sorry” “it will never happen again” blah blah, and it’s good for awhile and everything seems okay and then the abuse starts again. It’s a cycle and it’s a hard one to break. A lot of the time there is also financial abuse and threats of taking custody of the kids and things like that as well, you feel very trapped and isolated and it’s hard to find a way out of a shitty situation.
That being said, i think that in this situation you have two toxic people being toxic to each other and I would imagine they are both equally at fault for whatever this breakdown in their marriage has been. This is why you shouldn’t have a baby with and get married to someone you don’t know! Britney and Frank didn’t know a single thing about each other when they had Scarlett and got married, they were in the honeymoon phase which is mostly lust and infatuation. They had hardly spent any time together let alone lived together and learnt about each other inside and out. Add to that blending families, having a child free guy in his mid 20’s becoming a stepdad to three kids, having a kid of his own and then quitting his job and being cooped up with Britney and the kids 24/7... it’s a recipe for disaster. People who have been married for 40 years struggle to adjust to having their spouse at home full time when they retire, and that’s with the kids grown up and moved out of home.
Their marriage was never going to work, in a normal situation they would have dated for a few months and figured out they weren’t compatible and gone their separate ways but they got in too deep too quickly and were trapped with each other, that’s what I think has gone wrong, and I think this breakup is an accumulation of a lot of things all piled up and something has happened to make them both snap.
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